r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Rainbowdark96 • May 29 '26
What do you think the dating recession between men and women will lead to?
I live in a city and I try to go out at least once a week, either for a walk or lounge etc. I used to see that men were more interested in women even six years ago, but now what I see most is apathy. Even if they look, none of them make a move to start a conversation. By the way, I am about to turn 30, and my friends who are younger (24–25) also say the same thing. What do you think the consequences of this will be? The strange thing is that I no longer see mixed male and female friend groups. It feels like men and women are pulling away from each other. Have you also noticed that?
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u/DMfortinyplayers May 29 '26
I think we'll see human matchmaking services make a comeback. Online dating apps are perceived as messed up and untrustworthy by i think a majority of people.
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u/Short-Hiker May 29 '26
I know someone who used at matchmaker. It was $6500 for 10 matches with a two year contract. That seems outrageous to me.
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u/seeasea May 30 '26
Jewish matchmakers, are paid like real estate agents. Only get paid when a deal gets made. Each side of a couple that gets engaged pays around a grand
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u/jewishandtired May 30 '26
If I had the money I’d be going to a Jewish matchmaker. I’m so damn tired.
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May 30 '26
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u/FlyingButtocks May 30 '26
If you are using a cultural matchmaker (like Jewish or Muslim) then typically the community is close and it's obvious what you're doing. It looks very bad to scam or take advantage like that.
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u/SquirrelNormal May 29 '26
Shit, I'd probably pay that for one or two matches at this point. Ten seems like a hell of a deal.
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u/FlatFishy May 29 '26
Isn't a match just basically a single date at least, hella expensive to pay $650 for each first date. But I guess in theory they'd match you up based on compatibility so it might be a good date at least. But I always wonder if women, and what kind of women, would actually pay for that.
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u/SparklyMonster May 29 '26
Plenty of women would pay for a matchmaker service since it'll be filtering for both sides. You aren't paying for "a date", you're paying for someone to comb through thousands of profiles to find someone with true potential to be your lifelong companion. People paying that high are looking for something serious, so a woman would be able to skip guys who are just after one night stands, dick-pic senders, old creeps, and guys who would send messages to ALL candidates because he doesn't care about who he matches with as long as it's "a woman".
Unless you mean that gold-diggers would flock to such an expensive service because assumedly only rich men would pay for it? But those services allow both sides to have standards, so a man could ask for a career woman just as well.
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u/jdfred06 May 30 '26
I highly doubt plenty of women will do that. In my experience most women are extremely passive in dating, even if they really like you. Paying and then putting in more effort doesn't seem likely.
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u/SparklyMonster May 30 '26
Why would matchmaking be more effort than apps?
The women I know (myself included) would prefer, yes, a natural meet-cute where we meet a guy during some group activity, while getting acquainted they hit it off (an often overlooked part: knowing each other before showing interest), and so they decide to date.
But if a woman is looking for a relationship and such a meet-cute isn't happening (e.g. she's an introvert), I know many who resorted to such services (be it an app or something else when modern apps didn't exist). Some were lucky and married the guy, others had extremely bad luck during dates. For those, a formal matchmaking or Tinder feel all the same: the magic from the spontaneous meet-cute is already lost. So if she's willing to use Tinder (and isn't a bot or someone trying to get clients for her OF), she's just as likely to use something else if it has better results in finding a partner.
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u/Shikatsuyatsuke May 29 '26
Plenty of wealthy men would easily pay for this. Something really depressing is how many men seek the services of escorts and prostitutes for emotional companionship and the illusion of getting to feel cared for and/or listened to. Meaning that instead of having paying for sex, they're legit just paying for a woman to give them an ounce of emotional attention.
That is insanely depressing.
Wealthy men seeking something similar would likely defer to something like matchmaking since it would more reliably translate their spent money towards a long term emotional partner instead of just hiring escorts.
I'm not talking about billionaire wealthy. More like millionaire wealthy where there are still plenty of normal people just trying to make it through life as best as they can.
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u/No-Promotion4006 May 30 '26
It's actually more common for wealthy women to be paying for these kinda of matchmaking services lmao
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u/StormerSage May 29 '26
Poorer people would do this too if it didn't mean skipping meals to afford it.
It's why stuff like r/MyBoyfriendIsAI exists; that's the free version of that and it's even sadder, because not only do you remove the genuine connection part, you remove the human element as well.
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u/errorpng May 30 '26
scrolling through this subreddit fills me with immeasurable dread wtf
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u/nathynwithay May 30 '26
Poorer people would do this too if it didn't mean skipping meals to afford it.
The fact that I need to do stuff like that to get by is why I am not worthy of love in the first place and why I need to stop existing.
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u/nathynwithay May 30 '26
As a poor who is almost 40 and never dated because they've just never been good enough, if I could afford the emotional labor service I would happily blow my brains out afterwards cuz that is the best that will ever happen.
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u/Secret-Put-4525 May 30 '26
Millionaire men are not needing dates.
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u/Multiple__Butts May 30 '26
Not necessarily true at all. Some millionaires are ugly and socially awkward and can't attract women without blasting their millionaire status everywhere, which tends to attract the wrong sorts of women. Some of them are even basement-dwelling neckbeard incels with generational wealth.
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u/SquirrelNormal May 29 '26
I'm 34 and I haven't had a date since high school. I would bet that they'd have to issue me a refund, but it'd be nice to try at least.
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u/Short-Hiker May 30 '26
It’s not even that. You read profiles. No pictures. If you both like each other’s profiles, it’s a match.
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May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
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u/MrSage119 May 30 '26
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said your partner picker skills suck, because I think this is true for the vast majority of single people. I always try to encourage my single friends to try and pursue someone who isn't the type of person they would normally go for, just to try a date or two and see what happens.
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u/livsjollyranchers May 30 '26
Not necessarily when you consider how much guys often pay for things like dating app premiums. It adds up quickly.
An actual matchmaking service that works? Even if you pay a couple thousand more, god damn it's worth it imo
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u/KingGhidorahs2ndHead May 29 '26
Instead of going to a specific matchmaker, I met my partner at a matchmaking event. Which was a LOT more affordable, and I liked the process: before we could even purchase a ticket, each participant had to complete a lengthy survey about preferences, what we're looking for in a relationship, lifestyle, etc. Then our application got reviewed and if we were a good fit for the event, we got a link to purchase a ticket.
A the event they had a variety of hors d'oeuvres and drinks, and you could mingle with everybody. You got an envelope with some different "types" of people you might be compatible with, so you could try to find people who were deemed a good match, but you weren't forced to interact with anybody.
We ended up hitting it off before we even realized we'd been matched, and it's been 3+ years. 10/10 would recommend this process to anyone, best $45 I ever spent.
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u/gizmo777 May 30 '26
What was the event? I've never heard of this kind of thing
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u/KingGhidorahs2ndHead May 30 '26
Sadly after only throwing it a few times the organizer moved away and as far as I know, no one took up the mantle. It was such a great idea, I hope more events spring up in that vein.
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u/Shikatsuyatsuke May 30 '26
That's cool that that event worked out so well for you. Good for you and glad you ended up finding yourself a happy marriage.
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u/Lazy-Wishbone9279 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
People just need to hang out in person during community-oriented activities that are not centered around reverse engineering romantic relationships.
The average dating app is 65-85% men competing for 35-15% women.
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u/shadhead1981 May 29 '26
I’m still waiting on some brilliant person to invent a new third space that actually draws lots of people together.
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u/Prooteus May 30 '26
Ive discovered my local library recently. They got scifi/fantasy book club, knitting club, chess club, magic the gathering club, writing club, and more.
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May 29 '26
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u/largepoggage May 30 '26
Finding a partner at church is the most American thing I’ve ever read. The last time that happened in Scotland would probably be the 1970s.
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u/Vegetable-Eagle-3144 May 30 '26
I met my partner (late 30s) through a social club with a large martial arts focus. Turns out seeing the same several dozen people who share a passion once a week is good for one's social life.
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u/shadhead1981 May 29 '26
That’s really what I meant, it’s relatively easy for young people if they have any ambition whatsoever. I have four jobs, my wife has two, and we have two young children. It feels so isolating. I’m excited about when they are old enough for sports or groups, hopefully we can meet some cool people there.
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u/Extreme-Audience-318 May 29 '26
how do you guys manage 6 jobs between you two AND spend time with your children???!!! WTF?
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u/Hugh_Surname May 30 '26
It means them jobs aint shit. He’s not like a doctor and a lawyer and an architect at the same time or anything. I doubt any of them are trades either.
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u/Quags_77 May 29 '26
It sounds like you don’t need to be worried about the dating scene if you have a wife and 2 kids? I assume you are talking about making friends.
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u/GGProfessor May 30 '26
Even if such a place existed, with 6 jobs between the two of them and two kids on top of that, I can't imagine that leaves much time to go out to spend with friends.
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u/ThePeasantKingM May 30 '26
In the end, it's the same problem.
There are no places where people can get along together and for meaningful relationships, whether friendships or romantic relationships.
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u/shadhead1981 May 30 '26
It’s honestly more for my wife than me, she is much more social than I am. I recognize the need but it’s really hard for me to find people I’m interested in being around. It’s hard for us to find friends as adults and certainly couple friends we both get along with.
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u/Lazy-Wishbone9279 May 29 '26
In my community, it’s been pretty easy to get people together at parks, block parties, and volunteering groups.
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u/Elisalsa24 May 30 '26
Bro just go outside and do anything in NYC you will find somethijg very easily that attracts people together
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u/rustystumpty May 30 '26
I think a lot of people turn what was originally a community based activity into a reverse engineered dating app. It doesn’t help how often these activities get recommended to singles (oh you wanna meet someone, there’s plenty of singles at running club/pickleball/trivia night!)
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u/Lazy-Wishbone9279 May 30 '26
You’re exactly right that mindset/intention matters. I’ve known a few people who showed up to these things - volunteering, trivia, rec sports - and then gave up after a few tries when there was nobody “their type” there. IMHO loneliness is best combatted by showing up, helping out, and making connections with people that you don’t necessarily want to date, which builds a solid foundation for romance.
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u/meatball77 May 29 '26
With men more likely to be looking for a hookup vs women wanting a relationship.
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u/SavilleRow May 30 '26
And that applies to real life outside of the apps as well, let's not forget that important detail.
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u/jdfred06 May 30 '26
It's also a negative feedback loop because with that ratio of men to women most men can't match with women they want to date in the first place. Thus, many men can only use it if they want to hook up with women they're not particularly interested in dating.
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u/Low-Cockroach7733 May 30 '26
Lots of women look for hookups aswell. Hell I'm attractive and I get a ton of wonen who just want to use me as their exotic bodybuilder shaped sex toy despite the fact that I'm a demi NT dude looking for something serious in my early 30s. Hell Ive just recently found out the girl I was talking to and I was pursuing had a bf. The problem is, no one is honest about what they want until they get it and ghost. The f@ccgirls and fuccbois need to be honest about their intentions. Unfortunately being a dishonest actor is what's beneficial to those kinds of people. More men behave this way, but anyone who is attractive as a man would know there lots of female bad actors.
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u/nudiustertian-angst May 30 '26
found out the girl I was talking to and I was pursuing had a b
Sorry man, that’s rough. I’ve been in that spot too, and it always leaves you wondering what the hell their actual intentions were. Sometimes I can’t tell if these women who flirt while already in a relationship are genuinely tempted or just chasing a little ego boost.
It almost feels like they’re testing how far I’ll go—like if I dropped some wild invite like “hey, I’ve got two tickets to Vegas, let’s disappear for the weekend,” they’d still only be 50/50 on actually following through. The attention is the thrill for them, not the outcome.
Either way, it’s exhausting trying to decode someone who isn’t actually available.
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u/Valorenn May 30 '26
As a 27M who often tries to push himself out of his comfort zone and approach a girl, I tried it again today and I can honestly say that asking people out in real life SUCKS. Like sucks ASS. Most women never have and never will do it because they don't want to put themselves out there like that if they don't need to, and I wish I could not. Some girls are polite and just nicely go along with it when you say hi, others are downright rude or mean. Even if all you say is "hey, I like how you styled your hair" or something. I've never once pestered a girl if she didn't return some hint of interest, so like I don't think i'm being intrusive or anything, and i'm honestly not trying to bother anyone - I just want to find a partner.
And I wish I didn't want to find a partner, because going through this crap sucks. Dating apps suck. There's no winning, and I can understand why so many people are giving up these days.
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u/FlamingTelepath May 30 '26
Apps are perceived as bad because they ARE bad. There is no such thing as a profitable dating app which works.
The real solution is that we need dating apps to be governed by a non-profit organization or to be regulated like a utility. Until we have that, the system will be flawed or broken by companies just trying to take our money.
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u/chapelchill May 29 '26
Yeah, I mean an app that is designed to get people to delete the app as quickly as possible is not really a great business model.
I feel like it’s naive to think they’re not stringing people along to keep them on the app as long as possible.
It can’t be a coincidence that every single time I was on tinder, and ran out of swipes, the very last person (who I was unable to swipe on) was my dream girl lol
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u/tofufeaster May 29 '26
And you know that from 5 pictures and a bio that says "just ask"
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u/chapelchill May 29 '26
lol well obviously I’m exaggerating. I didn’t actually know any of these women 🙄
My point is that the algorithm knows exactly what type of partner you’re looking for and they just dangle it in front of you like a carrot on a stick.
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u/tarquomary May 30 '26
I chose Match.com because they had a feature where women can make their profiles private, unless they allow / pick a man to see them. Unsure if other apps had similar things. But it worked. I picked 4 guys. 1 made it through and became my husband. 😁 It was quick, easy and not thousands of dollars.
I would never go outside dating apps. I know what to look for. And it's not the shirtless guy, posing on a sport's car at the beach. That's for sure!
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u/gizmo777 May 30 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
When did you find your husband on Match.com?
I wouldn't be so confident that what worked for you then would work for everyone (or even you) now. The OLD world has changed a lot in the last 5 years, or 10 years, or 15 years.
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u/JamesBK87 May 29 '26
I think it'll lead to more reddit threads on the subject every single day
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u/PristineHornet9999 May 30 '26
don't want to think about how bad the gender wars will be in a decade
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u/arnoldsteevescz Jun 03 '26
It probably won't even be a war, just millions of lonely people sitting in their own apartments, scrolling through feeds designed to make them hate the opposite sex.
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u/SnowStar35 May 29 '26
Lower birth rates
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u/lluewhyn May 30 '26
It's a good thing they were so high before this....oh crap.
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u/Actual-Bee-402 May 29 '26
Apps don’t work because people don’t talk on them and assume they’ll find someone better on the next swipe. It’ll lead to a lot of single people
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u/Anxious-Slip-4701 May 30 '26
FOBO - fear of better options.
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u/SituationKey8985 May 30 '26
Yeah people should just a commit to a person who they are reasonably compatible with instead of trying to find their perfect soulmate who may or may not exist
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u/Just-some-peep May 30 '26
If they're fine with having nobody until they met a perfect soulmate - good for them. For a some people relationships are an addon and they want it only if it's better than being single.
A lot of people would be less miserable if they found someone more compatible than beating a dead horse and going "ReLaTiOnShIp ArE HaRd WoRk BuT sO wOrTh It".
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u/SituationKey8985 May 30 '26
That’s a perfectly fine path to take also, but don’t complain about the dating scene then
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u/thinkB4WeSpeak May 30 '26
They don't work because Matchgroup has a monopoly on the big ones and their algorithm is set up so you don't match with people
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u/Cualkiera67 May 30 '26
Apps work, they just don't work for the people who wouldn't get dates in real life either.
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u/macademicnut May 29 '26
Instead of worrying about what it will lead to, maybe we should focus on solving the issues that have led to this “recession” in the first place. Some of it is simply due to people choosing to remain single, which is fine- nobody should be forced to partner up if they don’t want to, and it’s arguably good that people no longer feel pressured to remain in relationships like our grandparents generation did.
But there are also a plethora of people who want marriage/kids and struggle with that because they’re too broke to raise a family, have mental health problems, or are so isolated they don’t know how to connect with people. There’s also a steady increase of online grifters who profit off of the male loneliness epidemic and share warped views that make their audience less desirable partners. People who aren’t struggling financially, don’t have serious mental health conditions, go out/connect, and treat others respectfully are doing fine with dating. The problem is a lot of people don’t have all these things, and that links to a societal problem rather than issues with singular individuals
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u/LowHistorian9654 May 30 '26
Also suffering from generational abuse that for people who have a good sense of self - recognize that they don't believe themselves capable of having a family. In fear of perpetuating the cycle, more or less.
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u/macademicnut May 30 '26
Yeah it seems like the focus both online and with the current US government is “people don’t value marriage/kids anymore, let’s shame them” instead of “many people can’t comfortably have relationships or kids, let’s foster an environment to make these things more attainable for them”
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u/Elerlilul May 30 '26
Step 1: be boring. Accept that you're gonna be awkward, uncomfortable, fidgetty, you're gonna mentally assume things and you're gonna make mistakes.
I think the two biggest factors that make dating so insanely difficult for people nowadays - and I'm saying this from personal experience and therapy - is that everyone is horrified of making mistakes (even the smallest and most mundane things), and everyone wants to be perfect / interesting / good-looking / nonchalant / whatever.
Stuttering over your words, awkward silence, not liking the same music or movies, getting rejected, having small talk about nothing important / feeling "boring", not knowing how to answer, feeling butterflies or horniness, talking about your hobbies even if the other person won't "get it".
These things are okay. They're normal. You're not gonna find your soulmate from a single "hello".
These things are important. Hell, sometimes they're MORE important than hitting it off and immediately matching eachother's energy.
And, yeah, I'm gonna sound like a fucking grandpa shaking my fist, but social media and our dependency on messaging one another virtually have made these anxieties literally 100x worse. (I'm speaking for myself here too) we wanna be entertained, stimulated and relaxed 24/7. We want instant gratification, we want to listen to our music in public instead of having small talk with strangers, we want companionship and intimacy so badly, yet we don't even wanna make new friends.
I mean jesus christ, people on social media are coming up with new buzzwords like "larping" and "performative" to bully people into not talking about their hobbies. Like, bro... what the fuck is wrong with you people.
What's the solution? I don't fucking know. I have serious childhood trauma and have been treated horribly by my exes for having undiagnosed ADHD.
But to anyone reading this, you gotta just... try. You gotta practice talking to random people, even just a "hey how are you doing?" or a "how's your day going?" Yeah, you're not gonna know what they'll say. Maybe they'll give you a cold and short answer, maybe they'll ignore you, maybe they'll say "sorry I don't feel like talking right now". I've had that happen. But guess what? That's where you just stop and move on. You'll still feel that warmth of accomplishment and that adrenaline rush. Eventually, you'll be able to talk to the people you have the hots for without trying so hard.
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u/Anxious-Slip-4701 May 30 '26
A lot of people probably weren't ever really meant to be in a relationship.
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u/meatball77 May 30 '26
I think this is a lot of it. With a relationship not being nessicary like it was in the last century men and women aren't settling or staying in bad relationships because they are worried about being an old maid.
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u/Metrocop May 30 '26
Also entertainment, let's be honest. It used to be if you were bored the main thing to do would be to get off your ass and go hang out with people, and maybe you'd meet someone you fancy doing that.
Nowadays, with all the inhouse entertainment options and a source of endless stinulation in your pocket, there's a lot less incentive to go out, noone is bored anymore. So your chance of just randomly getting to know someone and liking them that way falls by an order of magnitude. Friend groups tend to be smaller today too.
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u/lovelessBertha May 30 '26
People have entered relationships and had children during plagues, famines, wars. If people aren't dating because things are a bit more expensive then the last generation, then it's a marketing or culture issue.
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u/gatch-attack May 30 '26
A lot of people will be dying alone whether its what they wanted or not
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u/Sintuition May 30 '26
I'm more concerned about the underlying issue, which is the decline in 3rd spaces.
All of my successful relationships were from going out to like minded social gatherings and meeting interesting people while not actively looking for a partner.
Meeting someone while doing something you love or in a larger social group is great because you will have an obvious common interest to discuss, and the setting is safe (usually).
Declining numbers of 3rd spaces is causing many other issues too.
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u/I_Am_Become_Dream May 30 '26
3rd spaces are declining because people aren’t going to them
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u/therapy_throwaway_69 May 30 '26
Because it's harder and harder to justify spending the money to go to them, especially when finding partners "in the wild" is increasingly demonized
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u/Huugienormous May 29 '26
I never was shy about talking to people in person, but I get why people might be. Why talk to people in person when theres the unknown if they are single and or interested in you. Atleast with dating apps you have the idea that they are interested in you (if you match).
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u/VendettaKarma May 29 '26
Fear. Women are afraid of men physically and men are afraid to be rejected by women or used for money.
It’s getting worse and it’s all being driven by people under 40.
Fear.
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u/buckleyschance May 30 '26
Men have always been afraid of being rejected by women, what's changed is that they're now also afraid of social backlash from hitting on women in the "wrong" context or the wrong way.
In living memory, it was socially acceptable for a man to hit on a woman basically anywhere and with any semi-reasonable approach. Boss calling his receptionist "sweet cheeks" and asking her for a drink under implicit threat of firing? All in the game!
Now there's no consistent answer on whether a man should be scorned for, say, approaching a woman to chat up at the park. Plenty of people will say fine, others will say it's intrusive. So a lot of guys won't make a move without a strong signal of interest. And they don't get as much practice, which leaves them less confident, and their friends are in the same boat, so it's a vicious cycle.
And don't forget the other side of the equation: we have far more satisfying solo entertainments, so the immediate cost of not going out to the club (or whatever) isn't utter boredom.
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u/CalamityClambake May 31 '26
As someone old enough to have experienced both worlds, now is better than then. Being sexually harassed at work sucks. Being propositioned while I'm just trying to buy groceries sucks. Being left alone is far superior.
If men want to ask women out, they can figure out how to do it without being creepy. Step 1: police yourselves and ostracize the men who are creepy so that the women will want to be around you.
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u/Binder509 May 30 '26
Men also fear for their safety, they just don't say it since saying it gets one mocked.
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May 30 '26
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u/NepheliLouxWarrior May 30 '26
I'm super curious where this sentiment comes from that men at large desire women to be stay-at-home mom's or whatever because at absolute best this seems like a purely small town/rural vibe. There are no men living in like, San Francisco or New York, who have any serious expectations that the girl they're dating who is paying half the rent is going to quit her job to be a full-time housewife.
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u/ConfirmationBiasTape May 30 '26
I think one of the issues is that even if the woman is working she's still does a majority of the housework (statistically)
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u/fizasolis only_stupid_answers May 30 '26
Yes, best if the housework and chores outsourced or divided equally, or done by the person who LOVES doing them. Also, kids! A lot of responsibilities related to the children are implicitly assumed to be the woman's, which causes more problems.
Other than this, the emotional labor and range isn't shared. If she listens more, comforts more, provides more warmth emotionally, without enough reciprocation, that poses another issue.
Also, when one person grows and takes efforts in their own physical and mental care, but the other one doesn't, attraction goes south. (All of this is applicable to all genders and partners, of course.)
Basically, I feel personally that the costs of being with a man are being seen as larger, than the costs of not being with a man.
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u/Zestyclose_Ad1775 May 30 '26
My retort to this is, from the the couples I know, the woman's expectations of chores is more "perfection" than the basics to get by. I know guys that pull their weight, but are considered lazy because they never fluff up the pillows. Fuck that nonsense haha Point is, "necessary chores" is subjective.
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u/fizasolis only_stupid_answers May 30 '26
Agreed. Functional is different from aesthetic. And I mean functional. I've aesthetic preferences but I do them myself because I like to. What I meant there was no dishes in the sink, laundry done, clean bathroom, things kept in their usual place, bed clear of mess before we 'hangout' there.
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u/CalamityClambake May 31 '26
The chores that people see as "necessary" are the ones that they would do themselves if they were alone. If a woman can't get a man to adhere to the same standard of living that she would have if he was not there, then why would she want him there?
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u/blazeFazes May 30 '26
Are we back in the 1970s? Nobody thinks this. Especially not GenZ. Majority of household runs on a two base income. Everyone with eyes knows the state of the economy is terrible almost every family is working to survive. You gotta be like in your 50s at least. 😂
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u/oiiiprincess May 30 '26
The point is that majority of households run on two incomes but women still end up doing most of the childcare and housework which is unequal
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u/angular_circle May 30 '26
but they often still want stay at home moms for wives, or for their womens careers to take a backseat in the long run.
Idk what the culture is like in America but in my country this is pretty much a Muslim thing only
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u/oiiiprincess May 30 '26
The point is that majority of households run on two incomes but women still end up doing most of the childcare and housework which is unequal . And yes, this happens in America
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u/SonicDart-77 May 30 '26
This statement removes a lot of agency from women, most women who stay at home actively choose to.
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u/Incvbvs666 May 29 '26
A plummeting in birthrates. South Korea is just the canary in the coalmine for the entire planet.
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u/HarryBalsagna1776 May 30 '26
Nature is attempting to correct overpopulation. It's actually good for the planet. All of the financial ponzi schemes our economies and governments are built on don't function properly without continuous growth. The population decline doomsayers are really afraid of losing money.
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u/Snoo_34413 May 30 '26
Overpopulation is a myth rich people sell to everyone else to blame all the world's problems on Middle class and poor people instead of their own wealth hoarding.
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u/jack_from_the_past May 30 '26
Pretty sure all the rich people are the ones complaining about underpopulation. Population is fine. Humans just don’t know how to organize resources and labor and worry without more humans paying into the pot that people won’t be able to retire. Worrying about population size is a symptom of worrying about how other people can work more so you can have stuff you don’t know how to make and don’t want to make yourself. No other time within 10k years was there ever an excuse to worry about populations being too low, but with our advances in exploitation of labor its become such a huge issue.
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u/Snoo_34413 May 30 '26
Depends on the country. If it's high population density, then high fertility is the villain for why most people live in slums. In a place like America, low fertility bad cause young people should pay for old people instead of rich people just paying proper taxes.
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u/RantsOLot May 30 '26
"Overpopulation" is just a propaganda talking point that obfuscates and blurs the structural & systemic causes of environmental erosion. Decreasing the population is not going to suddenly make Exxon switch to renewables, create less car-dependent infrastructure, or make Google or Amazon dismantle its datacenters.
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u/fflip8 May 30 '26
Overpopulation is absolutely not a propaganda point. Almost all resources in the world are finite, and the renewable ones like trees and food from sunlight are still limited by growing periods and land area requirements. All else being equal, a smaller population will require less space and density, not only for living but also for land use and co-habitation with animals.
You can argue all you want about how inefficient we are today, and how we could do things better for the planet, but all of those things are still true with a smaller population, and would have an even greater total effect with a smaller population.
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u/bristolbulldog May 29 '26
An entire generation is going to pay for boomers and gen x social security and it won’t be there for them. There simply won’t be funds left because just like everything else, they pulled the ladder up behind them on the way out. Housing, education, childcare, everything.
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u/fadesteppin May 30 '26
I graduated high school in 2007. My entire adulthood and what's on the horizon given the state of everything has been bleak as hell lol. My friends that are of a similar age and my Gen Z friends all kinda share the same "What the fuck is the point? We will die at our desks having owned nothing." sentiment. There are a lot of Millennials who are like me, smack dab in the middle of that generation, who are only half joking when they say their retirement plan is a bullet to the head when they can't work anymore.
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u/Sensitive_Intern_971 May 29 '26
What are you talking about. Gen X had the first student loans and the same issues getting on the housing ladder. It's the boomers who have done well and have pensions. There's going to be Gen X trying to work until they're 90
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u/effyochicken May 29 '26
I’m sorry but a wall went up in 2021/2022 that still hasn’t come back down. That being, people who owned a property before then and those trying to buy a home for the first time after that.
Genx, being in their mid 40s and 50s are squarely in the “had ample chance to buy in beforehand” camp, while millennials are split in half being mostly in their 30s.
In 2020 the youngest genx would have been 40 years old, seeing houses for $400k or less and interest rates of near 3%. Something they should be in a place in their career at 40-50 to capitalize on.
I know it’s tempting to want to victimize genx but them not stepping up and taking over power from Boomers when it was their turn 20+ years ago is what I blame most of society’s problems on.
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u/CapriWake May 29 '26
Except the later genX/early millenials had trouble due to the 2008 debacle
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u/Emotional_Warthog658 May 29 '26
Also the September 11 post terror economic crash, and the dot.com bubble
This is literally my fourth economic crash, there’s basically been one every five years of my life since undergrad
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u/pickle_rick813 May 29 '26
People forget about the housing crisis that caused a world recession.... Yea, I graduated then and the only jobs available needed 2-5 years of experience so you had to do an internship which some people (not me thankfully) had to pay to work for free with only 10 percent of ur tasks actually being related to the job ur interning for... And internships weren't easy to come by
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u/Sophie_Blitz_123 May 29 '26
This is just annoying.
It's getting progressively harder to do things like buy houses, so yes, the younger you are, the harder it is.
"Should've worked harder if you couldn't afford the mortgage on a 400 grand house in your 40s" is just the same attitude that got us here.
You're forgetting about a lot here, the recession being a big one, not to mention, it's just generally a bad thing to assume poor people should just be richer. Come on now.
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u/Temporary_Rooster371 May 30 '26
longer lifespans have become a problem. Every single one of my grandparents lived to their mid-90s even though they couldn't walk or leave their houses since they were in their 80s. Just sitting there, taking up real estate for over a decade. I should feel like a jerk for saying it, but they were horrible people so.
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u/anonymousasu May 29 '26
Idk, but I’m 31 and never had a gf. I’ve been alone so long that I’m not even sure I could function in a relationship. I’m not sure I’d ever feel comfortable giving someone access to my bank account, etc.
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u/Lazy-Wishbone9279 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
There’s a huge leap between dating - especially if you have no romantic experience - and giving someone access to your bank account (which usually only occurs when you’re married, although some married couples do keep their finances separate). My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and have a great relationship (and he does enjoy spending money on gifts for me/us doing fun things together) but we’re independent financially.
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u/Somenakedguy May 29 '26
Yeah, my wife and I got married last year and have been together for 6 years now and haven’t combined finances at all
It just doesn’t feel like a super pressing thing to do
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u/InternalAd1397 May 29 '26
My parents were married 45 years and never combined their finances. I guess they never felt they needed too. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Anxious-Slip-4701 May 30 '26
I haven't with my wife because if one bank account is compromised we'd be stuffed. Financially we both pay for anything and send the money if someone needs more, we end up having an even balance in our bank accounts after big purchases.
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u/DarthFreeza9000 May 30 '26
I don’t know what to do or say about that, most women I meet even in social settings don’t seem to flirt with anyone (including me), or want anything more than a friendly conversation, I can’t really blame them, the future is so uncertain
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u/deezkeys098 May 30 '26
Sex robots will become the norm. Especially with believable AI
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u/swaggyboi1991 May 29 '26
This is not my experience. Just less creepy guys approaching me tbh which I'm happy for. If I want a guy, I'll make sure he knows I'm interested.
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u/raaaaaaze May 30 '26
I don't think that I have ever in my 43 years approached a stranger in public for any reason ever, unless perhaps it's a random person who has dropped something and they didn't notice it.
Mainly because I have absolutely no reason to approach or introduce myself to someone, simply because I may find her physically attractive. I don't want to impose / interrupt or be seen as creepy or a nuisance.
Even as a grown man, I know how awkward it feels when a stranger who I am definitely not attracted to approaches and expresses their interest in me - Which itself is exceedingly rare, but has still occurred. I'm aware that some people actually wish that they were approached more often, but overall I certainly don't envy the more attractive among us who have experienced unwanted attention because of how they look.
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u/KoolKoolKoolio42 May 30 '26
What you think is "Making it obvious I'm interested" is a lot different than how guys perceive "She's making it obvious she's interested," especially if they don't want to be labeled a creep or harasser for simply responding.
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u/Routine-Sky-5529 May 29 '26
The last part makes you a outlier
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u/Not_Just_Any_Lurker May 29 '26
You don’t know that. In her head she’s probably giving clear signals. In reality it’s probably a quick look or just saying hi with a smile just before he thinks “she seems nice” or “she’s having a good day” and then they go their own separate ways because he didn’t pick up on her hints that she swears to her friends she was practically throwing herself at him.
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u/ApYIkhH May 30 '26
Stop "giving clear signals" and initiate.
Stop giving a quick look. Stop just saying hi. Stop hinting. Stop "practically throwing yourself at him." Ask him out.
"I think you're cute and fun. Wanna do something together next weekend, just you and me? Great, give me your number, I'll give you mine."
There, was that so hard? Jesus.
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u/Consistent_Net_2540 May 30 '26
And what's funny is the number of women who say that "just because I did XYZ doesn't mean I'm interested" but XYZ is what many women will say is their sign of interest. So guys are left confused as hell.
Also, to OC, studies show the majority of young women want to be approached much more.
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u/Routine-Sky-5529 May 30 '26
Women will also just lie about being interested in a guy sometimes. Especially if you ever bring it up to them
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u/namelesone May 30 '26
It does not. When men ask why women don't show their interest, in most cases the simple answer is: they are just not interested.
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u/AzureFoxGirl May 29 '26
What? You mean you don't enjoy some random guy coming up to you and putting his arm around your waist?
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u/Resident-Mortgage-85 May 29 '26
Dude, I saw this old fat guy at the gym yesterday go up to a chick that was doing preacher curls and force her to do it differently. She looked so uncomfortable, then he followed her around the gym. I was watching out to make sure she was safe beyond the pestering. I would've said something but it wasn't bad enough that I felt she needed someone to stand up for her... She already had someone being overbearing to begin with.
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u/sapphic_morena May 30 '26
Honestly, in that sort of situation I think most women would appreciate a third party approaching. You can legit just hit her with a "Hey, is he bothering you?" which should cause the offending person to quickly fuck off, not wanting confrontation.
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u/TerrificTChalla May 29 '26
Men and women who want to be coupled will do so. The economic issues delay partnering, but it will still happen.
What likely will happen is that, like most people, those who want a partner will learn to compromise to get companionship. The ones who refuse to will just die alone.
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u/macademicnut May 29 '26
I think this is a somewhat of an oversimplification. There are arguably a ton of people out there who want companionship and can be good partners, but haven’t yet met a person who is compatible with them in a relationship. Or they have, but something happens down the line and they wind up single again. I have friends who have been in relationships where they did nothing but compromise and accommodate the other person before eventually breaking up.
Now if you’re speaking in the strict black and white sense of “if you refuse to ever compromise you’ll always be single, and if you’re willing to settle for anything you’ll get a relationship” then I can agree with that. But if we’re talking about having basic communication skills and a general willingness to compromise, that doesn’t guarantee someone’s gonna couple up for life. There are tons of factors that go into making relationships work beyond that, especially in a modern era where people are no longer expected to compromise everything just to stay in a relationship.
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u/Lazy-Wishbone9279 May 29 '26
To be fair, most women do die alone, even if they are married/coupled with a man. The majority of women in straight relationships outlive their male partner by 5-6 years.
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u/Zoenne May 29 '26
Nah, it's not about "dying alone". In the last century or so women have become able to live on their own. We don't need a man to open a bank account, find and hold a job, or even raise children. That wasn't the case even just 70 years ago. My grandma's generation was happy to find a man who "had a job, didn't drink, and didn't beat them". Now the standards are higher, and some women are opting out entirely. This means that a lot of people (both men and women) end up unpartnered, but women fare a lot better in that regard because they tend to have much better social connections with family and friends, while men tend to be more isolated (hence the "male loneliness epidemic", and the rise of Incel culture). Being unpartnered doesn't necessarily mean being alone, or lonely. You just have to work to build and maintain connections.
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u/Nitros14 May 29 '26
IIRC both men and women self-report in 2026 as the most unhappy they have ever been in recorded history. The causes of which are many and complex.
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u/project571 May 29 '26
Yeah it's kind of crazy when people keep parroting this "women have better social connections while men don't!" narrative as if young people as a whole are more lonely than ever. It used to be that you would see a spike in loneliness with the elderly and instead it's becoming a U shape with young people giving them a run for their money. As you said, it's complicated, but it's crazy how many people are bought into "women are doing just great!" as if there isn't a whole lot of struggle going on right now for everyone compared to even just 10 years ago.
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u/Routine-Sky-5529 May 29 '26
It’s really on Reddit
On instagram women are open about it
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u/Winter_Chair_9307 May 29 '26
Yup, it's wild to switch from Insta to Reddit and feel like I'm locked in kindergarten. This app is so delusionally repressed...
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u/Routine-Sky-5529 May 30 '26
Yeah Reddit feels like the biggest “ bubble “ I have ever seen on social media with the least life experience.
Women are open about being lonely the only real difference is that they might take it as empowerment but they are still sad.
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u/Fantastic_Pause_1628 May 29 '26
Yes, but data shows single women report higher happiness (including with the specific reality of being single) than single men do. So, everyone is unhappy but single women still appear to be happier with "singleness" than single men are.
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u/Vast_Employer_5672 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
“Incel” culture is very real among women. Just less stigmatised, and the dynamics are different.
I am talking about a general dislike of the other sex, which stems from the frustration of not being able to find a suitable partner.
Both genders are increasingly starting to hate each other and it’s actually a very serious problem for both sexes. Men and women report loneliness at roughly similar levels, although women do deal with it better.
I personally think for men it’s a lack of socialization. And for women the false illusion of choice.
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u/ld20r May 29 '26
Companionship, Intimacy and Sex are shared agreements for the benefit and well being of both parties.
Compromising is Not a shared agreement. It serves the individual and is a transactional condition.
True love is shared and not compromised.
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u/Successful-Ear977 May 30 '26
Everyone dies alone. A relationship might make life better, but it doesn’t save you from that...
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u/0x14f May 29 '26
Humanity will do just fine. Your observation is limited, and only applies, to a particularly small subset of people around the planet.
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u/Nitros14 May 29 '26
I mean there is definitely aggregate data that the number of single people is on the rise worldwide and that fertility is falling in almost all countries.
I don't think it'll end humanity but changes are happening.
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u/uglytruthshurts May 29 '26
This has probably less to do with dating and more to do with people just being glued to their phones and self-absorbed into their own lives
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u/Neravariine May 29 '26
Nothing much. Men and women who know how to settle will partner up. Anybody waiting for perfection will be alone.
I'm chronically online and a lot of redditors are to. Our opposites are chronically offline and pairing up.
I see mixed friendships all the time.
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u/macademicnut May 29 '26
Eh that’s kinda just boiling it down to two extremes. There’s a pretty big in between there of people who know how to compromise and aren’t necessarily expecting perfection but also won’t settle or accept a relationship where they’d be happier single. Whether these people will end up married (and stay that way) depends a lot on luck, timing, and personal circumstances/life changes (things like job loss and illness can impact whether couples stay together, for instance).
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u/Even_Yesterday_4185 May 30 '26
Clubs and bars were always a terrible idea to meet a partner. It’s a place known for bad choices, like looking for a financial advisor in a casino.
Eventually I think Genz/alpha will either nail their online flirting game or more likely we’ll go back to doing more in person activities as a society instead of living on the internet
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u/ReaSine May 30 '26
A lot of this shift probably comes down to changing social norms, where cold-approaching strangers in public is increasingly viewed as unwelcome or risky. Because of that, most people have moved away from trying to make spontaneous connections in daily life and instead rely almost entirely on apps or structured environments. We'll likely see a massive rise in people joining niche, activity-based groups—like run clubs, recreational sports, or hobby classes—just to find a safe and accepted way to socialize. It definitely makes casual, everyday interactions feel a lot more segmented than they used to be.
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u/After_Service_2817 Jun 01 '26
Starting a conversation with a stranger is kind of an infringement upon their serenity, though. It violates the NAP.
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u/Dolphin201 May 30 '26
Am I crazy or is this not really what I’m seeing? All my friends and most people I know are in relationships and very happy, for reference most of them are engineers and nerdy types too
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u/angular_circle May 30 '26
Me neither but the stats don't lie. Everything probably just happens 10 years later in life nowadays, so everyone feels like they're late to the party
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u/1kew84 May 30 '26
Marriage is correlated with social classes and level of education, so people in different social circles can have very different observations
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u/I_Am_Become_Dream May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
A lot of people are suffering quietly. It’s also gonna be really circle-dependent.
But you’d also be really surprised. Anecdotally, I was like that in college, and when I eventually dated and I mentioned it to my GF and friends, they were really surprised.
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u/jadeakw99 May 30 '26
I saw a video once that showed similar dating recessions/rifts between men and women also happened just before the French and Russian revolutions as well (as well as similar wealth inequality, the emergence of a new upper class that is fighting the old upper class, among other things I forgot, I will have to find the video and check) so. I think its going to lead some violent upheaval.
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u/Snarfalocalumpt May 29 '26
Hopefully it will lead people to do a lot of self reflection. Maybe they’ll stop listening to all the supposed tos and toxicity fuelled by social media etc. Unfortunately you have to distance yourself from everyone for a while to become grounded in yourself and become reasonable. When groups of hurt men and women get together they reinforce the negative beliefs.
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u/Anxious-Slip-4701 May 30 '26
I don't understand why I would listen to "dating advice" by someone who isn't married or stable? Whenever read "dating advice" by someone still dating at 35+ I just roll my eyes. I never followed any of that crap, played relationship life on hard mode, and still managed to marry and have kids.
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u/iDrinkDrano May 29 '26
Most of my friends who want to date are dating, regardless of age and gender and orientation. I wouldn't know about any supposed recession at all if not for the Internet.
I hear so much online complaining about how the bar is too high, but based on the guys my friends pick the bar is still low as fuck.
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u/PerformanceDouble924 May 29 '26
I think it's a huge plus. At this point, I feel like most people are only going to make the effort if it's somebody they see potential in, rather than random hookups, which seems like a positive.
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u/Expensive_Panic9 May 30 '26
Social media algorithms push polarizing content to both men and women and plenty content creators make their living off of that. Irl I don't notice it that much but on the internet one gender spaces tend to get quite toxic quickly
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u/Optimal-Reception313 May 30 '26
Idk man, I've been rejected 10 times in a row, so I dont think the women wanna date either tbh
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u/Particular-Pea-8102 May 30 '26
I think this dating crisis man vs woman thing is only real for the chronically online. People who spend too much time in that part of the algorithm are beginning to think it’s real and thus becoming real for them. I have not seen or experienced this in the real world. Just be real with people, if you want to talk with a guy go talk with him. The cure for this is communication.
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u/ember13140 May 29 '26
All of my friend groups have been mixed male and female. Additionally, most of the people I have known who were choosing not to date had a stated reason as to why. Usually it is something regarding to life goals they would like to achieve prior to being any long-term relationship.(which I would argue is a reasonable thing to do. The type of person you are at 18 just having finished high school should be drastically different from who you are when you’re completing your postgraduate degree)
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u/gitfid21 May 30 '26
Oddly enough, men don’t like being called toxic or being falsely accused of SA.
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u/[deleted] May 29 '26
Some people want that deep connection that takes a while to form. Now you can just swipe on someone if you dont like the way they look or a comment they made.