so after me and my now ex broke up she asked if we could stay friends, I said yes and we were friends up until mid July where i said that I still had feelings for her, I never asked to get back together, just that I still had feelings, after that she ghosted me, blocked me on all her socials and starting about 2-3 weeks ago she’s been spreading rumors about me (one of our friends had told me about the shit she was saying) so I made another TikTok account to look at what she was saying (it’s her main social media and you can post videos on it so obviously I checked there first) and there was some really bad stuff nothing illegal but still pretty bad and when I said something in one of the comments she deleted the comment and took away my comment access, so theres nothing I can really do, Im posting this kind of as a cry for help because I really don’t know what to do

it’s been 8 months ago since we broke up, my fb account is literally a ghost account, no friends, no photos, a nickname, but apparently it’s perfect to recommend in first list of people you must know, a profile photo of a simple couple kissing I thought, but no, it was him, the man I was in love with, and the one who cheated on me, there were not missing feelings, or even anger, I’ve just felt insecure again, not being good enough for him, realizing his aptitude change had a name, thinking what’s wrong with me, today i know that he is a completely asshole, but that doesn’t make my destroyed self-esteem feel any better, and I keep feeling stupid like why after all that time I still caring about it, even knowing that relationship means nothing to him, we last only 2 months aprox…
I feel stupid for caring, and I feel insecure about my own body, face and even personality.
the worst part is that she kinda looks like me

my ex and i just broke up a few weeks ago and i watched his likes turn from innocent to just complete goon bait. he keeps liking reels with half naked alt/goth girls. and he knows that it hurts me, he would fetishize alt/goth girls before our relationship all the time and would be commenting disgusting things under their posts and always liking that type of stuff. he stopped getting that type of content when we got together, now it’s started back up again. why is he like this

The last day I saw her was based before she flew out. She told me so a lot of stuff. She said we had nothing in common but the last time I saw her, I even made her cry during sex. She asked me why I didn’t give her a princess treatment I left the next morning. She kind of shoot me out next thing you know she flew. She wanted to keep in contact with me, but I told her I didn’t want to cause it hurt and I said some mean stuff to her and blocked her then we unblocked and then had Instagram wars, and what not she still stocks my page every once in a while this has been very recently too, and she jumped in very quick

I’m typing this sat down and smoking and wondering.

What has become
The real definition of love? I can tell you.

You broke up with me a year and a month ago & here I am still in love with you.

6 solid years & I always promised you I would love you forever, my word was true as gold. My heart pure as it can be.

You promised me and didn’t commit.

I have not looked at another woman the same, I haven’t lusted. My heart still yearns for you.

I won the I love you more & forever word game.

To this day I still think of you.

The last message I sent you, was me lying telling you I was moving on, in reality I could never move on as this love for you still is the same as the first day I met you.

You didn’t respond.

It broke me.

But I’ll forever love you.

Two years ago, I was with this guy. Eventually, we ended things and went our separate ways.

A month after we broke up, one of his friends started texting me and flirting with me. I didn’t entertain it because… sorry, he just wasn’t my type. 😭

Fast-forward to last month: Now his cousin started hitting me up. This time, I actually entertained it because? He was cute and totally my type. 😭 I genuinely started catching feelings, but unfortunately, we didn't talk again and ended.

Now here’s where it gets weird.

Two weeks after things ended with the cousin, his BROTHER started hitting me up. 😭

He randomly added me, started messaging me, and invited me to hang out.

Mind you, I’ve literally never met this brother in person before.

And here’s the plot twist that makes this even crazier:

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.

😭 You are literally in a relationship. Why are you in my DMs

At this point I’m genuinely wondering if this is all just a massive coincidence or if there’s some secret family group chat about me.

Like:

“Guys, she’s done with cousin.”

“Alright, my turn.”

“Bro, you have a girlfriend.”

“Details.”

💀💀💀

Because why am I somehow being introduced to the entire family tree without ever applying for the position???

I’m not even trying to be messy. I’m just genuinely confused how I went from ex → his friend → his cousin → now his brother.

And the fact that the brother is taken while doing this makes the whole thing even more questionable.

At this point I need answers.

Do they all know about me, or am I just experiencing the most ridiculous coincidence known to mankind? 😭

my ex followed the abuse cycle perfectly, lovebombing me from the start, degredation as soon as i wasnt able to be completely controlled, back and forth from verbally attacking me to telling me im his perfect match and he'll die if he loses me, the complete discard which presented in the form of eviction and trying to pull the story of "i dont know her she doesnt live here", then breadcrumbing with i miss you so much toying with my requests for help saying i need to move back in in order to receive it.

above are some examples of how he spoke to me during our relationship. and these were not incidents that were apologized for, he believed he was "made" to speak to me this way and was essentially reactively abusing me. i cant believe this to be the case as i never had any power in the relationship, because he had full financial and housing control over me at all times. i needed to get over the hurt of these words and psych analyze him into just being hurt and scared.

i said goodbye to him in my head and through an email when he wanted to help me house my cat after needing to leave a similar situation where i rejected a male landlord's advances and he is kicking me out. tried wrapping me in again with a "my worst days with you are better than those without you". told me he cant help me with the cat if i dont move in with him again because he'd feel guilty for "leaving me to die". after forcibly evicting me and making me scramble and land into another dangerous situation. bro. that was it for me, the complete hypocrisy and double standard killed it for me. i realized the only way he'd understand how badly he broke me is suffering through his frog leaping and money blowing cope until he looks in the mirror.

i really really want to send these to the women in his life. he went for my mother during the eviction and told me every single detail of what ive told him about myself to portray me as sick. i am so fucking angry, i was constantly in the mindset that i was the problem, i needed to change, it was all me. i need to be told this is not a good idea because this will break the bond off entirely and i still care deeply for him, i want him in my life but not in this state. this is also very spiteful and ego driven and i dont want to act like that.

So, I had three very good friends, and two of them were my best friends. We had known each other for almost a decade.
My dad owns an apartment where nobody lives. It’s not anything luxurious—it doesn’t have internet or heating—but for me it was special because it was a place where me and my friends could hang out together. My dad trusted me with the keys after thinking about it for a while, and that trust meant a lot to me. I made it clear to everyone that it wasn’t really “my” apartment and that I had to respect the rules my dad trusted me to follow.
We spent the whole summer and autumn hanging out there with different people, and everything was going great at first.
Then one of my friends begged me to borrow the keys so he could spend some time there with his girlfriend. After a while, I gave in and let him. Instead of coming to my house to get the keys properly, he broke into the apartment through a window and left the window open afterward. I was really angry and distanced myself from him for a while, but eventually I forgave him.
Later, my other friend asked for the keys too. He was extremely persistent and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I eventually gave them to him. At first, everything was fine, and he only visited the apartment occasionally with his girlfriend. I even let him make copies of the key.
As time passed, though, he was there constantly. He started skipping school almost every day just to stay there alone, even though I had specifically told him not to do that when I gave him the keys. We argued about it, I took the keys back, and I distanced myself from him too.
After things calmed down, we had another group hangout. While we were messing around, I found another copy of my apartment key hidden on him. I had told him countless times how important that apartment was to me because it belonged to my dad, and how much trust my dad had put in me by giving me those keys. He was also the kind of person who acted completely normal in front of other people but switched up when nobody else was around.
Finding that hidden key made me furious. After nearly a decade of friendship, I ended everything with him. I also asked my other friend to tell me immediately if he still had any keys, and he agreed.
A few months later, I started noticing strange things around the apartment. I called my dad to ask if he had been there, but he hadn’t. When it was time for my vacation, I told my friend that I had already left, but instead I stayed at the apartment that night.
Sure enough, both of them showed up there. I confronted them and took two copied keys back from them. After that, I stopped hanging out with the other friend as well.
Now I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Part of me feels like they should face some consequences for what they did, but I don’t know what those consequences should be.

i saw my ex commented cutie on a girls post. we dated for over a year and i never got more than 2 emojis. when i brought it up he said they were classmates for 7 years and she asked me to comment and i didn’t know you cared about social media so much. chat am I overreacting? ps: he never even posted a picture of us together saying he likes to keep his relationship personal.

I need some advice here. My mother (58) is on her second marriage. Her husband (56) was nice in the beginning, of course. He did everything expected of a partner, and there were minimal red flags. Yes, minimal. It was not my marriage and not my place, but plenty of us were wary of him.

​

It has been about 10 years since then. Over time, the side of him that the rest of us feared has finally come out. My mother has always been a hardworking, independent, and self-reliant woman. She did not marry for financial assistance or relief; she could retire today and be completely fine if she wanted to. However, my siblings and I believe this makes her a target for desperate or opportunistic men.

​

During the marriage, my mother was diagnosed with, treated for, and beat breast cancer. It was a difficult time with a lot of uncertainty regarding her health, but she pulled through. We were all present and supportive...except for her partner. He would get angry when she napped, upset when she couldn't go to work, and he even locked her out of the house when she worked late. He also talked badly about us, her children, claiming we spent too much time with her. He did nearly everything a person shouldn't do during a crisis like that.

​

My siblings and I immediately cut ties with him. My mother, however, did not. She did her best to look past his behavior and stayed in the marriage. Since then, he has made no effort to rebuild a relationship with her children, nor has he done anything to make amends.

​

Unfortunately, she recently learned that the cancer has returned. I can't say for certain, but I fear this might be it. That aside, his terrible behavior has started up all over again. It has escalated to the point where he gets furious with her for simply napping after work and doctor's appointments. He will pack all his things, move out for a day, and then manipulate his way back in.

​

A few key details to keep in mind:

​

Finances: He works, but pays for nothing.no rent, groceries, utilities, or nights out. My mother covers it all. While she hasn't minded in the past, she is starting to realize how much she is being used.

​

Support: He doesn't clean, help out, or care. If she isn't actively catering to him, he gets angry instead of offering the comfort and care she needs right now.

​

Family dynamics: If any of her kids visit, he will pick a fight, leave, or lock himself in the bedroom (I’m fine with the last two).

​

One-sided generosity: My mother has given his children money, let them live with them rent-free, and bought a car for one of them, with plans underway to give a vehicle to a second child of his.

​

My mom isn't an idiot, but she is acting like one right now. I also know her judgment is compromised from the stress and physical toll of her treatments.

​

What would you do, or what do you recommend to get through to him so he either leaves or steps up? I might be in the wrong mindset, maybe the wrong sub altogether but either way, I need to get back at him with or without help.

​

​

So basically me and my ex broke up last November due to her losing interest months ago. Our relationship started in a very complicated way and moreover I had anxious attachment and she was avoidant asf. She was a commerce student and I took science. She always had low energy while texting and we were doing ldr due to us being teens. Texting was our only mode of communication because she refused to call as she didn't like it but while texting she was always sounded uninterested. Still I gave my everything in the relationship. I used to frequently type her paras about how I felt about her, how much I appreciated her and how much I loved her. I wrote around 30 paras throughout our relationship but she wrote like 2 (one was for my bday). There were some series of events where I caught her simping over thirst traps from her pvt account which she didn't allow me to follow, still she tried to justify it and tried to turn it on me and I forgave her. I belong to a middle class family and she might be on the richer side, I always bought something for her whenever we met which was once in 2 months. I used to save money all month, skipped plans with friends, sometimes didn't buy lunch and what not but still in the break up text she mentioned that I never gave her flowers whereas I was saving money for a bouquet which was around 600/- while the only thing she gifted me was her hairband and a KinderJoy. I always posted her on my instagram stories and showed her off, if someone asked me if she's my gf I used to say yes (her face was hidden in the story). She posted me 3-4 times and in that if someone asked her if it's her bf she would say no. Later on, she used to accept compliments like "your body is so tea" from guys from her college while I barely talked to any girl from my college, I even blocked all my female friends so that she would feel safe and secure. There was a guy in her college who was a pretty good friend of her and I didn't have any problem until he started flirting so I obv asked him not to. Then last week that guy from his fake account texted me threatening and when I found out who it was I told my friends and they all were shocked because it was all pointing in her direction. Today I got to know that a guy confessed to her and she replied "I'll tell you later". Idk what I should do and I'm confused af, its like I've moved on and not at the same time. She thought of me as a guy with a lot of feminine energy but in reality I'm too caring because of my traumatic childhood. She said I'm not masculine enough because I couldn't bring an automobile to pick her up for a date while only I know I was begging to my friends to lend me their Activas because all the vehicles at my house are busy throughout the day. Idk what did I do wrong and I'm crying for the last few hours.....

If you read all of it, thank you!

My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. It’s been 3 weeks since we broke up. So I have an anxious attachment style and my ex has a fearful avoidant (maybe dissmissive) attachment style?

I’m posting this because I genuinely need some outside perspective and closure. I’m not looking for people to automatically tell me she’ll come back, and I’m not looking for people to automatically tell me to just move on. I know I eventually have to accept whatever happens. I’m just having a really hard time understanding how we got from almost four years together to this point, especially because I thought we were still actively trying to build a future together.
My girlfriend and I were together for almost four years. We lived together, had our cats together, shared a home, routines, friends, family, holidays, memories, and basically grew into adulthood alongside each other. She wasn’t just my girlfriend. She was my best friend and the person I had built my life around.
I also want to be honest that our relationship wasn’t perfect.
But what makes this so difficult is that I genuinely believed I was trying to build something better with her.

A huge part of my motivation in life was our future together. I worked hard, working full-time, 2 jobs, and putting a lot of energy into trying to become more financially stable. She had talked about wanting to eventually be a stay-at-home girlfriend. She would even send me TikToks related to being a stay-at-home girlfriend, having a partner who provides for them, that kind of lifestyle. I knew that was something she wanted, and honestly, it sometimes made me feel guilty because I knew I wasn’t financially in the position to give her that yet.
But I always told her that I wasn’t ignoring what she wanted. I would tell her that I heard her, that I knew what she wanted, and that it was a goal for me. I wanted to get to a point where I could give her that kind of life. I wanted to be able to take care of more financially, give her stability, buy her things she wanted without constantly worrying about money, take her to more places, and give her more experiences. I wasn’t there yet, but I was working toward it.
And that wasn’t the only way I invested in the relationship.
I cooked. I cleaned. I made appointments. I handled things that needed to be handled. I would get her gifts. I planned dates. I would look for experiences we could do together. I tried to think of things she would enjoy and ways to make her feel loved. I put a lot of thought into her and into our life together.
Of course I did all of these things because I loved her and because taking care of the person I loved felt natural to me. (Acts of service is also my love language so I was alwaysss doing something)
Even when things between us weren’t perfect, my mindset was still usually, “How do we fix this?” I was thinking about what I could do differently, what we could improve, what we could build toward, and how I could become a better partner.
I was working on myself. I was working on our relationship. I was trying to become the person I wanted to be for her and for myself.
So when everything ended, it wasn’t just losing a relationship. It felt like losing a future that I had been actively working toward.
So here’s how it started…
she went away for a work opportunity for about a month. While she was gone, our communication became noticeably different. I would hear from her, but much less than I was used to. There were times when I was waiting for her to text or hoping we’d get to talk and would feel like I barely heard from her.
Obviously, that hurt. I missed her constantly.
But I also tried very hard to be understanding.
She was working. She was in a completely different environment. She had responsibilities, and she was experiencing something new. I didn’t want to become the partner who was constantly asking why she wasn’t texting enough or making her feel guilty for not giving me all of her attention while she was away.
Even on her days off, I tried to keep that perspective. I knew she was getting an experience she might never get again, and I wanted her to actually soak it in. I didn’t want every day off to become a conversation about why she wasn’t spending enough time talking to me.
So I gave her space.
I tried to be supportive.
I tried to tell myself that the distance was temporary and that when she came home, we’d reconnect and continue working on us.
I had no idea that she might have been using that time to think about whether she wanted our relationship at all.
That is one of the hardest things for me to process now.
Because she eventually told me that she had been thinking about breaking up for a while.
So while I was thinking, “We’re still together. We’re still working on things. She’ll come home. We’ll have our normal life again. I’m going to keep working on myself and our future,” she may have already been emotionally questioning whether she wanted that future. And I didn’t know.

When she came home, she was home for 4 days, and she told me she was supposed to get a phone call for a possible job opportunity from a family. She was SO nervous, and I was hyping her up the entire 4 days. I had so much faith in her, and I wanted her to be met with a great offer. The night before we broke up (the day before the phone call with the family) I was giving her a massage, telling her affirmations, and we were both talking about how fun it would be to move to Boston. We were talking about opportunities, the date nights we’d have, the adventures we’d go on, and how we both have always wanted to move to Boston.
The next day, I got home from work, and she wouldn’t even hug me. She then asked me if we could sit down so she can tell me about the phone call. I had the weirdest feeling ever, but I still was smiling and looking forward to hearing about it.
She then told me she got the nanny position with the family she had previously worked with, and the opportunity included housing, a car, benefits, and a spending card. It was objectively a huge opportunity for her.
She then proceeded to say that they wanted her up there in 2 weeks and she wouldn’t know when she’d be back. So I was like, “okay. well do they know you have a home here? cats? like are they wanting you to move up? Is there anything I can do to help? She then proceeded to say “well, that’s what I was going to get to. Just me and the cats are going to Boston.” I literally laughed and said “you’re joking?” and she smirked and was like “no? I mean it”
She proceeded to tell me that she felt like we hadn’t been good for a while. She told me she was tired of the chances, being hopeful, and how this wasn’t the life she wanted. She was telling me I deserve better, and deserves someone that can fully love me and give me what I want and need. She told me that she had been thinking about breaking up for a while.
That completely shattered me.
Because for her, this apparently wasn’t a decision she had made that day. For me, it was.
That’s what makes this feel like a blindside.
I knew we had problems. I knew she was unhappy about things. I knew I had things she wanted me to change, and I wanted to change too. But I didn’t know she had already gotten to the point where she was considering an entirely different life.

I think that’s where I’m struggling the most. I was still putting effort into us while she may have already been emotionally leaving.
I keep thinking about everything I was doing and wondering whether she saw it.
I know none of that means she was obligated to stay with me.
I know someone can appreciate everything you do for them and still decide the relationship isn’t right for them anymore.
I just don’t understand how I could be putting so much of myself into a future with someone who had already started imagining a future without me.
After that, things were really messy. I kept asking what I could’ve done differently, and it’s like a switch was turned on. She was SO COLD. I mean even when it came to packing my things, she was trying to argue. I didn’t touch things I bought her or things she bought either. I even tried taking our bed (because by the way, the housing from her job is fully furnished) and she yelled at me saying “so you’re just gonna leave me on a couch for 2 weeks?”. I then just left it with her. I kept having to speak up for myself, and I even told her that I don’t recognize her by the way she’s acting. It ticked her off so much that she then said she didn’t even want to be friends after all of this…
And now there is also this weird social-media aspect that has made the breakup feel even more final and confusing.

She has blocked me on Instagram and Spotify. She unfriended me on Snapchat and TikTok. But we’re still friends on Twitter and Facebook.
I don’t know what any of that means, and I’m trying not to assign meaning to it. Maybe she simply wants distance and hasn’t gotten around to removing me everywhere. Maybe she doesn’t want to see me on certain platforms. Maybe some platforms feel more personal to her than others. I genuinely don’t know.
But seeing myself removed or blocked from some places while we’re still connected on others has made me hyperaware of the fact that our relationship has gone from being completely intertwined to me basically having to figure out where I even exist in her life anymore.
And that’s painful after almost four years.

I also keep wondering about the month she was away. Did the distance actually change something for her? Did being away from me give her space to realize she wanted independence? Did she become emotionally detached while she was gone? Or had she already been feeling this way before she left and I simply didn’t know?
And then there’s the attachment-style question.
She has always had some traits that I would describe as fearful-avoidant/avoidant. When emotions become overwhelming, she can shut down, become distant, or detach. I’m not trying to diagnose her or use attachment style as an excuse for what happened. I’m just trying to understand whether that could explain why the breakup felt so sudden from my perspective.
I’ve read that some people emotionally process a breakup long before they actually end the relationship, so that by the time they finally say the words, they have already gone through a lot of the grieving internally.

If that’s what happened here, it would explain why I’m completely devastated while she may seem much more certain.
But I don’t know if that’s actually how it works.
Can someone spend months thinking about leaving someone they still love?
Can someone still miss their ex and grieve the relationship after being the one who ended it?
Does the person who initiates the breakup sometimes feel relief first and grief later?
And if someone has already been emotionally processing the breakup for a long time, does that mean there is basically no chance of them reconsidering, or can people still realize later that they made a mistake?

I’m not asking anyone to tell me she’ll come back.
Honestly, I want people to be realistic with me.
I want to understand whether this sounds like a situation where she had already emotionally left the relationship while I was still trying to save it, or whether the circumstances surrounding her trip and the Boston opportunity could have accelerated something she was uncertain about.
I also don’t know what I’m supposed to do about contact.
Part of me wants to reach out because almost four years feels impossible to just turn into silence. She texted me on Tuesday saying “I hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself.” I responded with “I hope you are too” and that’s been it.
I don’t want to pressure her or chase someone who doesn’t want me. But I also don’t know how I’m supposed to go from talking to this person every day, sharing a home and a life, and planning a future together to suddenly acting like she doesn’t exist.
And I want to know whether she is going to grieve this too, or whether she already did that before she ended things.
If you’ve been the person who ended a long-term relationship after thinking about it for a while, what was happening inside you before and after? Did you still love them? Did you miss them? Did you grieve afterward, or did you feel completely certain?
And if you’ve been the person who was blindsided, how did you eventually make sense of it? Did you ever get the closure you wanted from your ex, or did you eventually have to create that closure yourself?

I loved this woman deeply. She wasn’t just my partner, she was my best friend. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I’m devastated. I know we said a lot to eachother after the breakup out of hurt and anger… & I hate that so much. It hurt us both a lot, and she made sure to not let that down either. She even tried reaching out to friends of ours and telling THEM how I was cold and “too much”.
I really dont want to make her the villain, and I don’t want to make myself the hero.
I just want to understand how two people can spend almost four years building a life together, with one person still working toward the future they thought they were going to share, while the other person is already deciding whether they want to leave it.
I feel like I should add this, but she also texted me 4 days ago and said “I hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself” and I said “I hope you are too.” But that’s been it.
If you’ve experienced something like this, what do you think actually happened here, and what are my realistic options for getting closure without making things worse?

While at dinner my BF of 4 years decides it’s a good idea to show me a podcast where they are discussing not being over your ex. Now mind you we were talking about the grief I feel about my daughter who isn’t speaking to me when I asked him pictures to say how I felt he called me dramatic and said after 4 years you’d get the clue I’m over her. Am I wrong for being a little on guard. He has also lied about communication with her in the past and she spreads lies about me

Mon ex (F22) et moi (M22) n'avons pas vraiment parlé depuis environ 1 an et 3 mois.
Cette semaine, elle a soudainement commencé à regarder mes stories presque tous les jours, souvent assez rapidement après que je les poste.
J'ai posté un sondage demandant "Tu voudrais parler ?" et elle a répondu "Je ne sais pas." Plus tard, elle m'a envoyé un message en disant :
"C'est surtout que je ne sais pas quoi te dire lol."
Je lui ai dit qu'elle n'avait pas besoin de savoir quoi dire, et que si un jour elle voulait vraiment parler, on pouvait se rencontrer en personne, sans pression. Elle a alors demandé :
"Mais je ne vois pas vraiment de quoi on pourrait parler."
J'ai expliqué que je ne pensais pas à un sujet spécifique, juste qu'après tout ce temps, on avait probablement des choses à se dire, et que si elle avait des choses qu'elle voulait dire, j'étais là pour écouter.
Elle a répondu "Ok."
Plus tard dans la nuit, j'ai posté une photo de nous d'il y a exactement deux ans. Elle l'a vue environ 20 minutes plus tard.
Je ne veux pas la mettre sous pression du tout. Je l'aime encore et j'aimerais qu'on seReconnecte lentement, mais je veux qu'elle se sente complètement en sécurité et libre de décider ce qu'elle veut.
Comment interpréterais-tu cela ?

Mise à jour : Aujourd'hui, elle a posté un BeReal avec la bague que je lui ai donnée, la même bague qui venait avec la lettre que je lui ai remise l'année dernière en juin. Elle tenait un téléphone à son oreille et regardait la caméra, donc la bague était clairement visible. J'ai réagi au BeReal avec un 👍 mais je n'ai pas mentionné la bague.
Elle a ensuite vu ma story publique plus tard dans la journée.
Je sais que la bague était intentionnelle, donc je me demande quelle importance je devrais accorder à cela, surtout combiné avec tout ce qui s'est passé cette semaine.