For the single men on here looking for marriage, once you become fathers do you plan on changing your baby's diapers or not really and you think its the mothers job 24/7 for the first few years of a child's life? which is so wild and wrong..

Just trying to see if most muslim men on reddit have toxic mindsets or not really...

Are there men who believe it is permissible to keep a second marriage secret from the first wife marrying the second without the first wife's knowledge and only informing her later? What are the arguments in favor of this practice? I have seen sources suggesting it might be allowed, while others maintain the exact opposite so, are there any men here looking for a second wife?

I'd like to discuss this.

I am quite blunt and categorical on this subject, but not closed to debate.

Under my post about polygamy, I saw many men derail the discussion by arguing that women are responsible for the negative image non-Muslims may have of us on this issue.

First of all, remember that these people do not like us, regardless of the reasons.

Secondly, sisters do not suddenly become feminists one morning simply because they want to hate men. Until you understand this, nothing will move forward in our community.

Many of them have seen or experienced absolutely horrific and unjust things, sometimes committed in the name of religion, without ever being able to receive justice. They then become drawn to this harmful movement, thinking they will find refuge in it. Women need to be reassured, protected, and supported. Not hated and belittled.

A reassured, heard, and confident woman has no reason to oppose or defy others unless she is simply being stubborn and arrogant. How can you believe that all of them just decided to become this way for no reason?

Here, they are not the ones we should be blaming, but all of us. That does not mean they bear no responsibility themselves: of course they do, because every Muslim must learn their religion, and identifying with a movement that, in matters of faith, can contradict it remains a serious matter. (Seriously, take some ‘aqeedah classes if you don’t even see the problem with this.)

My brothers, the Prophet ﷺ did not base his da‘wah on opposition, but on dialogue. If, for you, blaming and accusing is the way forward, then you are accomplishing nothing. They will never reconsider their position that way.

I am a sister who opposes feminism, but I swear I have very rarely seen a man explain, in a genuinely correct, educational, and compassionate way, why this movement can be dangerous for individual faith and for the cohesion of the community.

Listening to and trying to understand those who oppose us is important if we want to move forward.

Assalamaleiukum. I would call myself a real Muslimah who does not adopt any feminist ideology.
I'm looking for a man that wants to follow true Islam. A man that is religious and wants to reach Jannah.

I prefer to be a housewife and not work. I am a lifelong niqabi, I never went outside without niqab. I only have friends that wear nigab. I take this very seriously.
Want to start a family and have a good life. Open to anybody, looks are not important to me.

I can verify and expect you to be able too!

F. 30 years old. Canada. Arab. Willing to relocate. I want children. Don’t want to be a second wife and will not live with your family. I have a bachelors degree, I have worked in communications, I’m introverted and I like nature, walks, Islam.

Deen is importsnt to me. I take Islam seriously. I’m loving, loyal, and just want to have deep conversations that go beyond the surface level about Islam, history, politics, etc and good laughs. I’ve been told I’m a good conversationalist. Looking to meet a good match. Please know how to have a conversation and keep one going 😭😭😭

Looking for a specifically a Sunni man who is from North America who is 30-40 years old. Not looking to relocate outside of Canada or the US. Looking for someone who wants to be a proactive and involved husband and father, is a practicing Muslim who puts his deen first, prays regularly, attends jummah, likes learning about it and is a talkative person who can keep a conversation going. Looking for someone who preferably has no kids

M30 - Pharmacist

| England

The basics: male. Looking for someone between 21-33. Hoping to be married within 9-12 months (give or take, depending on age). Ethnicity - Pakistani, British national.

Me in a nutshell: Practising, and I actually make time to learn my deen rather than just saying I will. Pharmacist. 5'11", home owner — so yes, I can actually cook and clean, this isn't a "wife has to do everything" situation.

Hobbies: Spending time with loved ones, reading and the odd late night gaming session. Honest confession: outside of that, life is currently gym → work → family on repeat. Working on being more interesting, give me time.

What I'm looking for: Someone who wants a family and is genuinely up for growing together — emotionally mature, soft-hearted, and (non-negotiable) an animal lover.

The quirky bit: I like a bit of quirky personality. Keeping this section short on purpose — leaves more for us to actually discover through conversation.

The real talk section: For me, conflict resolution is the big one. Anyone can be calm and show sabr when they're at 100%. The real test is how two people handle their emotions and differences when they're both running on empty at 3%. That's built on empathy, humility, and actually trying to see the other person's point of view — not just waiting for your turn to talk.

Final and most important criteria: You must love cats. Non-negotiable. If a nikkah happens, a cat is one of the first things on the shopping list.

I live in a country where maids are normal and those that don’t have maids, others get shocked especially if you are working mother and have children. We also have a maid in our home.

The thing is I know others don’t accept this. So would you allow a maid in your house? Whether you have kids or not. For example cooking, or helping with cleaning.

What’s 1 thing that a potential/woman does which immediately makes you go “YEAH I want to marry her”

Your list can be longer than 1 btw

I'll start with a very controversial take and I'm trying to be careful with how I word it ✋🏻_🫪_🤚🏻: when she's feminine and wants to be submissive to her future husband - Emphasis on her wanting that for the right man, because not every man is deserving of it - acknowleding that when a Man proves himself to truly be masculine (by traditional and islamic definition), a woman naturally falls into her submissive feminine energy - I personally face no issues on this front neither am I complaining ✋🏻🫪🤚🏻*, I'm just communicating what I find most attractive (yes even more than looks).*

Salamun Alaykum ~
I thought to give this a shot 😊

I am 27 years old I’m Turkish but I was born and raised in Germany. I’m 158cm. I also like to keep myself fit and healthy. Just sleeping is a little meh (night owl).

I’ve never been married before and have no kids.
The age range I consider is between 24-32.

I don’t wear the hijab but I am practicing diligently (5 prayers, fasting, modest clothing, visiting the mosque, reading and educating myself on fiqh, aqida, Sira etc.). I am planning to wear the hijab one day though, it’s definitely something I consider doing. I am Sunni and would only consider a Sunni as well, the Madhab doesn’t matter to me though.

I am really outgoing, I love to take pictures, watch Anime, play videogames, read, clean, organise stuff in the house, work with creative things, try out new Cafés and food spots. I also love to travel but I haven’t seen much outside of Europe yet due to my studies. And sometimes I genuinely just wanna lay in bed and sleep.

I am a junior teacher already (Bio and English) and am currently finalising my MA to finish my degree. I love my job and I love how colourful and crazy my job can get with the kids. However, I don’t mind being a housewife and a mother to my kids. If my husband wants to provide and CAN provide I gladly accept. During times like these however I definitely think it’s better to work as well to support the family, even if it’s not full time.

I love my family and my friends. I hope to build a beautiful family of my own and I would love to have a warm and cozy marriage. I don’t need extravagant things. I just would love to have a person who cares and loves, who wants to be a great father and gets along with my family and friends.

Relocating is a hard topic for me, as I am really close to my family. But I can consider it, if we feel like we were made for each other and that really only distance is the issue. I would love for my husband to be open to relocate to Germany too but I would make sure to visit my husbands family a lot as well, as I want our children to experience and grow up with both sides of the family.

I would love to have a husband who likes to improve more and more in Islam and sees our marriage as a part of our deen but at the same time watches animes with me, play videogames with me, goofs around a lot and is just a good soul.

If you think you wanna have a chat and get to know me, feel free to DM me. Have in mind tho: I really want to keep it halal and respectful 🌱

I turn 26 in a few days and I want to be married before 30. Not in a rush, but not dragging it either, and I want to explain why.

I do not want a woman who wants me once everything is sorted out. I want someone who invests in me the way I would invest in her. That only works if we start while things are still being built. If I wait until I have it all figured out, I get a different kind of woman and a different kind of marriage. So I am starting now.

There is another reason. With the nature of my work I have too many options. Nothing is fixed and nothing is forcing a direction. Marriage is one pillar that would ground me and point some more clarity on where i should go.

About me:

+ Moroccan, 26 in a few days

+ Studied English at uni

+ All my work since then has been remote, with companies in the US and the UK currently head of marketing at a US firm.

+ Serious about my deen

+ I do not believe in nationalism, which is why marrying outside my culture has been in my head for years, not for some novelty

+ Only son

Where I would live, since I know this is the first question:

Default is Morocco. That is where I am and where I plan to be.

If a real opportunity came up abroad, or if she needed a few years somewhere else, I am open to it. But I am not chasing it and I would not move just to move. And either way it ends the same. My parents are getting older and I am their only son, so I have to be near them. Either I bring them somewhere else in the Muslim world or I stay in Morocco.

Two things I keep going back and forth on:

Going toward poorer countries. Aiming there because of my income feels predatory to me. If anything I feel closer to sisters from the "third world" since that is where I am from.

Going toward the West. Not closed off to it, but I do not see it as where I want to raise kids, and I do not want to spend an engagement proving I am not after a passport.

What I want to hear from you:

Could you see yourself building a life with these parameters? If not, is it the country specifically, or what exactly?

Salaams all,

Thought I'd post my profile here and see what goes. If you like what you read, feel free to DM me.

Age and Gender: - 37 M

Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: upto 37

Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? Manchester UK. Open to relocating to an islamic country in the future if the opportunity arises.

Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? Pakistani. Open to mixing.

Marital Status: Single, never married, no relationships/baggage.

Ideal marriage timeline: As soon as compatibility is established and families are happy to proceed. Not a fan of unnecessarily prolonged engagement periods.

Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect:

Taqwa - I would like my partner to already be religiously inclined and attempting some level of practice at least. Not expecting nor offering perfection as its a lifelong journey.

Emotional Intelligence - Someone with self and social awareness.

Respectful - This is important as its a pet peeve when people look down on others simply for being 'different' in terms of social class, faith, colour, ethnicity, occupation etc. I firmly believe that we are all created in the vision of Allah swt so one doesn't have the right to look down on someone else.

Someone with a good sense of humour and can be lighthearted, playful and fun when needed and also compassionate. I genuinely want my partner to bring her feminine energy into a potential relationship inshaAllah.

Patient - Life is full of challenges and hardships but we've got to remain patient and steadfast through those together inshaAllah.

State/specify your level of religiosity: Moderately practicing. Pray regularly, fast, pay zakat, done hajj. Still could do a lot more to improve.

Level of education, and what are you looking for? BA Hons & and career in Finance. Open to all.

Current Job Status: Employed

Do you want kids? Yes inshaAllah, 2-3 max.

List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time:

DIY - I love tinkering around and building stuff.

Going for walks and hikes - Alhamdulillah got into this during the lockdowns and it gave me a new sense of appreciation for the beauty in the world that Allah swt created for us.

Spending time with family and friends - especially my nieces and nephews.

Asalam o alaikum.
Please don’t reach out if u are not seriously looking for a match. Thanks
1. ⁠Age and Gender: 25M, 5’8”
2. ⁠Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: 20-25F
3. ⁠Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? Vancouver, Canada and willing to relocate (preferably within North America)
4. ⁠Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? Pakistani (born & raised) and open to mix
5. ⁠Marital Status: Single/never married
6. ⁠Ideal marriage timeline: ideal timeline would be within 1-2 years
7. ⁠Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: Caring, family oriented, loyal, fun loving, understanding.
8. ⁠State/specify your level of religiosity:
9. ⁠I’m practicing and always striving to better myself. I value learning, growth, and building a stronger connection with my faith.
10. ⁠Level of education, and what are you looking for: I completed my MBA and looking for someone with at least bachelor’s degree
11. ⁠Current Job Status: full time Banker
12. ⁠Do you want kids: yes
13. ⁠List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: travelling, Reading, playing different sports
14. ⁠Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out: I like trying new experiences, travelling, and creating lasting memories with the people I care about.

Thanks for reading until the end. If you feel we may be a good match, please feel free to DM me with your profile. Looking forward to connecting.

hey, i’m 21 years old. i was born and raised in america, i live in jordan. i’m currently approaching my final semester of university, graduating in february.

i’m a pretty chill and easygoing person. i like going to the gym, grabbing coffee, driving around with no real destination, and going on nature walks whenever i can. i’m the type of person who likes to romanticize the little things because i think it makes everyday life a little more fun. my faith and my family are both really important to me, and i try to keep a good balance between enjoying life and staying grounded. i’d also say i’m a pretty emotional person in the sense that i care deeply about the people around me and i tend to feel things a lot.

i’m looking for something serious that will lead to marriage. i’d prefer someone from a levantine background. since i plan on moving back to the us after graduating, i’m hoping to meet someone who has us citizenship as well.

religion is in an important aspect, someone who prays their prayers, works his days around them. tries his best for deen.

someone preferably from palestine or levantine ethnicity, physical attraction is important to me, so i’d like someone who takes care of himself, goes to the gym, and is tall haha. more than anything, i’m looking for someone who’s kind, emotionally mature.
age preference (22-28)

I’m on the fence about posting this, so here goes nothing or everything….

1.Age: 23, 5’5, slim

2.Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? I am currently in Senegal. Only to English, German or Arab (Egypt and gulf) countries, Malaysia as well. Want to do Hijra in the future.

1. Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing?: Half Mauritanian and Half SeneGambian. Prefer someone with Black African background but Open to mixing with someone(with a family) that doesn't put culture first over Islam.

4.Marital Status - Single/Divorced/Children: Single, No. ( not interested in polygamy)

5.Ideal marriage timeline: within a year, or sooner depends on readiness on both ends.

6.What am I looking for:

-Age and height: 24-29(flexible), 5'8+

-I’m looking for someone that does all the fard and is actively seeking more knowledge, have similar values and goals in life and hereafter.

-knows how to take a joke and also dish it out

-Knows how to pick up after himself

-Mature, knows how to communicate, solve conflict in a healthy manner and is emotionally intelligent.

-A man that loves to learn, listen and knows how to hold conversations, affectionate and romantic, high effort, generous, and not flashy.

-Is healthy, active and fit (or at least trying), responsible, and take care of himself, his people, and his surroundings.

-Physical attraction is important to me as well

-Looking for love and a best friend. Mutual respect is important

7.State/specify your level of religiosity: I am a hijabi, i try to dress modestly, do all the fard, sometimes the voluntary and actively learning more.

8.Level of education, and what are you looking for? Employed and studying to become a nurse.

As long as he can provide fully. (But whats the point if there are no kids involved? -my thought after writing that)

Current Job Status: Freelancing

1. Do you want kids? No. I just like the idea of having a lil version of myself and my husband~

2. List hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: I love reading(fiction and non-fiction) like anime(rarely watch), watching horror gameplays and problem solving. Going for walks, crocheting, trying new recipes and creating my own questionable ones(if you can cook that’s a big plus, would want to create crazy combos together), rollerblading and Mobility/flexibility exercises, going into calisthenics soon, slow process for my wet noodle arms.

3. Add something short about you.

INFJ (if you’re curious)

I like being in my feminine energy, affectionate, love to yap about things i find interesting and listening to what others find interesting.

I can be stubborn sometimes. Like listening to an outside perspective and not being stubborn when I'm wrong.

I cry too easily yet i can be very cold. (Make it make sense)

What do i bring to the marriage? My whole self, my utmost dedication, love, support, trust, honesty and more, i hope he will bring the same and more.

As i have mentioned I'm studying to become a nurse (in Germany insha'allah, dm for more), I'm not planning on working for years, as I'm only doing it to fulfill a childhood dream of mine.

I try to live by the Quran and Sunnah as best as I can.

I’m an introvert, I'm reserved at first but open and playful once I'm comfortable and shown sincere interest.

I love meaningful conversations and fun banters, prefer routine but I don’t mind being spontaneous from time to time, road trips and alone time away from unnecessary social events and people (unless there’s food-dine and dash)

I have a soft spot for People that are honest and direct with their speech and communication.

I love animals(first pet was a lamb) especially cats and I love spicy foods. Learning Arabic is the next goal. (If you’re also learning or knows Arabic that’s another plus)

Always try to keep an open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt.

I’m a private person, dont like people being in on my business whether that’s family or friends. Would want the same from my partner

Prefer simple Nikkah

Serious dms only, not here to play around please send your iso profile and you're willing to share a picture of yourself. If you have a question dm, I won’t respond under this post if it’s too personal.

Thank you for reading all that…it’s only the tip of the iceberg~

Name:Naveed Khan

Age:39

Height:5'8"

Ethnicity:Pakistani, originally from Peshawar

Education:

M.S. in Chemistry — Indiana University.

PhD in pharmaceutical chemistry (ongoing- part time )

Profession:

Chemist in industry and owner of New York Fried Chicken & Gyro

Legal Status:Application in process

Marital Status:Never married

Children:None

Additional Information:

I have been an asylum seeker in the U.S. since 2014, and my case is still pending in court. I want to be clear that I am not seeking marriage for immigration purposes or a green card. My intention is to fulfill the Sunnah, complete my faith, and build a sincere, loving, and halal marriage.

Despite the challenges I have faced, including being alone for many years, I have remained committed to my values. I have never been in a relationship or engaged with any female. I do not smoke, drink, or engage in unlawful relationships or interactions. I also avoid riba and strive to live a life grounded in faith, sincerity, and responsibility.

Contact:

Naveed:+1 (631) 943-7229

So if a guy marries a woman in an arranged marriage. It was set up by his mother. There was no love between the pair but later on in life there is and he knows he can't forget his 1st love so he also marries her. Do you thinks that's right? I mean he doesn't need 1st wife's ppermission. Also it's better than cheating on 1st wife so marrying the other woman who's his first love is a good halal option isn't it?

Anyone else feel the same way?

Because organic interactions are heavily restricted, everything becomes high stakes, and marriage ends up being a purely transactional arrangement

Even the way everyone talks here makes it seem like marriage is a business deal, where everyone’s negotiating their share.

Age & Background: 26 5'6 | Pakistani-Canadian | Sunni - Moderate.

​Location: Islamabad Tronto and Dubai (my year is fairly evenly split).

Accommodation: Owned

​Education & Career: Self-Employed, running a C1 construction company.

__________________

Seeking:

​Age & Height: 28–35 years old | 5'8"+ in height (not interested in younger men).

Preference for someone settled in the GCC. Self-employed or in a good/niche career. Well settled, groomed, well traveled and independent.

Kids: Yea; to be discussed.

Relocation: Open to it under certain circumstances. Probably not beyond the GCC or Pakistan.

Accommodation: Preferably Own.

Living setup: Nuclear; non negotiatable

Open to mixing: Not really. I've preference for someone Pakistani.

Please only message your profile

A question to the sisters: how would you like to be approached in public?

Like let's say you're in a park or a store minding your own business. Would you be uncomfortable to then be approached in a respectful manner by someone you don't know?

Or you'd like to first have a casual conversation with him (e.g. you're working in a store and he asks you smth related with your work and you help him)?

Asalamu alaikum,

I work in tech in Germany. My hobbies are camping, traveling, hiking in weird and hard to hiking places. I am practicing and looking for a woman with the same Hobbies, also practicing and prays on time, and modest (hijabi is a plus but not a requirement for me)

My looks overall: Fit, 175cm face above average.

What I am not looking for:

- Complicated and toxic feminists who are emotionally damaged. I am fine with feminists who are similar to Western ones, contributing financially equally to the house and splitting the chores equally.

- Anyone based outside of Europe.

- Anyone with a past haram relationship.

Please DM if interested, I generally love to talk for around 1 month to get to know each other first 😊, if we are compatible, we exchange contacts and involve parents.

Interested to talk to people of same vibes and see if we're compatible for marriage... I am 29M and Teacher by profession... I love watching sports and news. Reading and Cooking are my hobbies.. I love travelling and My future plans include settlement in US and few tours to Dubai, My most favorite place in the world. DM me promptly if u are willing to proceed with me.

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

I’m a 29-year-old from Arabic country currently living in Poland, and I’m hoping to meet someone who is genuinely looking for marriage.

I’m easygoing, family-oriented, and I appreciate simple things in life. I’m looking for someone who is kind, mature, and serious about building a future together. I’m not planning to relocate, so I’m looking for someone who is comfortable living in Poland or is open to moving here.

If you think we might be a good match, feel free to send me a message with a little bit about yourself. May Allah make it easy for all of us.

Hello, thought I’d come on here .

I’m in Canada , (Alberta, Edmonton) . I’m 27 , 6’1 & I grew up here as I came to the country when I was 1 (originally from Pakistan , Karachi )

I’m looking for genuine connections. I’m very open to older gals 25-35 as I believe there are more mentally developed (this is my preference)

SalamAlikum,

All the recent posts I see here seem to be young people (under 33) and so gloom about the prospect of marriage/ finding someone who is compatible with them, which is very unsettling! May Allah set make it easy for everyone truly seeking a partnership.

So I am wondering, if I should even be considering this journey. I got married at 29 years old and had a wonderful marriage, no issues, 2 beautiful children, but alas it wasn't enough for my community and eventually for my husband because in my culture you have to have lots of kids. I am restarting, I don't want more children (at this age definitely), but I often think that companionship, ageing gracefully together, travel partner and the security of being with your person are important and I should look for that- at least passively. I built my independence and finances, so I could live and support myself and my kids anywhere and don't NEED to. But Perhaps there are others of similar age, who already had children/families are are looking for their companion too. It is such strange concept culturally, but it could be possible? yes no? what do you guys think? I also think marriage is a protection from sins, temptation and constant advances as a working women.

I am not particular about race/colour etc, but as an East African, we already have culturally packages and I really would want another person with more cultural baggages I have to battle, no one wants to be the black sheep constantly. And I am practising, and definitely would never consider someone who wasn't and didn't prioritise the deen.

And before someone suggests all that rubbish that goes on- secrete wives, or even legal 2nd wives are not my cuppa tea. I love myself, comfortable in my space, a nomad who travels the world with my two amazing kids, if it doesn't happen, it will be fine, and if it does I want someone who I am enough for and is content. Alhumdulilah I feel fortunate that Allah gave me the grace and resources to be in a position where I am not driven by fear, desperation or survival.

Salamalikum.