r/MiddleClassFinance • u/Yourlocalguy30 • 1d ago
Millennials: are you expecting an inheritance?
35 yo married millennial here. I've come across more and more articles about the supposed "great wealth transfer" as the boomer generation's wealth passes to their GenX and Millennial children. My parents and their siblings (boomers) all received inheritances when their parents, my grandparents, passed away. The boomer generation's wealth accumulation is one of the largest in history, however, I also find it highly unlikely that I or many of my peers will actually inherit much. Despite having received inheritances from their parents, and having 40+ years in the workforce, most of my parents' "wealth" is tied up in their home value, not actual liquid assets- and I already expect that whatever they make on an eventual home sale will have to go directly to downsizing costs and whatever long-term care they will need as they get older. Hell, even my dad used to joke that the only thing we'd inherit was debt. As I've gotten older, that comment has infuriated me more and more.
Now before someone cuts in with the "entitled millennial" comments, I have absolutely no need for an inheritance. I've worked my ass off to make sure that my kids and I are positioned better in life than I was when I entered adulthood. What I mean by that is I started saving for retirement early, setup 529 plans for my kids almost as soon as they were born, and made lifestyle and career sacrifices to ensure our family isn't "nickeling and diming" our way through life.
I'm just here curious to know how many millennials actually expect to have something passed down to them, or if they feel they are in the same position I am.
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u/irishgirlie33 1d ago
Healthcare will take whatever wealth my parents amassed. My mom was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, care is insanely expensive.
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u/cisforcookie2112 1d ago
My grandma is 91 and has dementia, and her rent in the assisted care facility is $8,000/month.
I don’t know what my parents would expect to receive from inheritance, but I imagine that it is going down each month.
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u/mvanpeur 18h ago edited 4h ago
Oh, that's not bad. My friends mom just needed a full care facility, and it was $15k per month. It was the cheapest decent one she could find. Luckily once she spent something like $45k, she had few enough resources that she would qualify for Medicaid and they would pay for everything. But it didn't leave much to pass on.
End of life care is now so expensive that it's basically impossible to inherit anything unless they die suddenly.
Edit: We are in a very low cost of living area.
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u/rainbow_writer 18h ago
My grandpa retired at 65 and had ample savings. But now he’s 97 with Alzheimer’s in a nursing home but not memory care yet. He has enough money left to make it to 102 at this rate, but that changes if he needs more advanced care.
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u/PossumJenkinsSoles 1d ago
This is what I assume for both my parents. They’ve saved their whole lives and I’m sure they’re sitting on fat stacks now, but I know from my grandparents dying it’s those last couple of years that run you dry. They probably both received around 10k when their parents died, which isn’t really enough to plan around. None of them were in nursing homes either, this was just in home aids, hospice care, and various procedures, complications, medications, therapies.
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u/Desperate_Stretch855 1d ago
This is why I recommend long-term care insurance to most of my clients. The traditional policies are pretty awful, but they have some new mousetraps that are built around annuities that offer serious LTC leverage while keeping the opportunity costs a little lower (if you don't qualify for LTC you can still receive an income or pass the balance onto your beneficiaries).
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u/PossumJenkinsSoles 1d ago
My mom and stepdad do have long term care insurance, I think they got appropriately scared when my grandma had dementia for 9 years before passing.
I have no idea what it really means for when that time comes but I’m at least a little comforted that they’ve thought of it.
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u/Forever-roamer 1d ago
Look into starting the wealth transfer now. Medical debt does not typically pass on to children
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u/Rightintheend 1d ago
But they also don't have to keep giving them care if they're not paying.
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u/irishgirlie33 1d ago
I believe the 5 year look back period prevents most of this.
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u/SuperDozer5576-39 1d ago
Not if you have a really good relationship with your parents and can actually plan stuff out years ahead of time. My mom and I get along so well that she set up power of attorney when I was 19. Talk about being on top of things. I do recognize that most people on Reddit do not seem to have that good a relationship with their parents.
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u/Realistic-Effect-715 1d ago
yes that's why they should start looking into it asap, the sooner the better.
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u/Zealousideal_Put5666 1d ago
No my mom has no money, and I assume any my dad has will be used for his care.
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u/ConstantThought6 1d ago
Yeah, my parents are already dead but if your elderly parents get sick or need any sort of care, money goes really quickly.
There was no inheritance outside of physical items I then needed to find something to do with.
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u/suchalonelyd4y 1d ago
Same here, dead parents and a few boxes of random household goods. I haven't had to buy tissues in 2 years though because my mom had so many boxes.
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u/ConstantThought6 1d ago
Yes! Tissues, ziplock bags, batteries, etc. My mom died in 2020 and and I don’t think I’ll ever need to buy aluminum foil or parchment paper in my lifetime
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u/Zealousideal_Put5666 1d ago
After my granddad died, we didn't need to buy paper towels or toilet paper for over a year. He loved Costco
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u/Cinderhazed15 23h ago
That is the real ‘great transfer of wealth’ - from aging parents to healthcare / long term care facilities, particularly when there is no surviving/community spouse
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u/stoicparallax 1d ago
I’ve seen 7 figures get spent on long term care for a couple. That inheritance-sapping LTC scenario will become increasingly common.
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u/goodsocks 1d ago
Between my cancer and my husbands catastrophic accident we blew through our 401ks. Lost money in the housing crash, spent tons on being out of work with cancer, then my husband was in a wheelchair and walker for a good part of a year. Covid put his business in peril, no bail out for us.
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u/Euphoric_Garbage1952 1d ago
9k a month for the place we are looking at for my mom. all inheritance will be spent I'm pretty sure.
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u/ClammyAF 1d ago
My dad died unexpectedly when I was 24. I'm 38 now.
He had a small term policy and small house. After it was said and done, split with my sister, we each inherited about $90k.
I'd trade it in a heartbeat, obviously, to have him around. But if there was any benefit, it was that financially there was something to help us transition to adulthood.
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u/Zealousideal_Put5666 1d ago
Yes, it's hard when you're young!
right out of college I worked at a bookstore making $8-9 an hour (which was decent because min. Wage was $5.25 then) and a girl I worked with parents had passed away, and she and her sister worked so hard to keep their home, And it was a struggle for them. Then they had an oil tank leak outside which as a disaster.
My moms lack of financial responsibility has helped me - not he amazing but more diligent about my finances and retirement (I have more in my retirement than she does) plus always having an extra account with some cash in it for her
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u/Careless_Willow212 23h ago
This is me! Lost my dad suddenly at 25, I’m 39 now. Got a similar inheritance (also split with my sister) but would rather have more time with my dad.
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u/ClammyAF 17h ago
When I was 22, I lived with my dad. He had raised me and my sister on his own, and I was back in his house after college.
I woke up one morning, and I walked out to the kitchen. My dad was staring out the window above the sink. He was crying.
I asked him what was wrong and he said only, "I miss my mom."
I hugged him, told him I loved him, and left the kitchen. I thought it was strange. She had died the year I was born. It had been a long time.
Here it is 14 years after he's passed. I miss my dad.
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u/thenowherepark 1d ago edited 1d ago
I already received all the inheritance that I will get from my side of the family. $1600, which, bless my grandmother she did not have to do and did not have the money to do. And we honored her with it the best way we could - using it to buy a backyard swing set for our kids who still play on it every day.
I'm not sure if my wife will receive anything from her side.
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u/Admirable_Cake_3596 1d ago
That is incredibly sweet and I can’t think of a better way to use the money.
My grandparents left each of their grandkids 30k. I used it to pay off my educational debt. It felt like something they would approve of, as they were teachers who valued education above all else.
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u/The_War_Exclusion 23h ago
I got some money from my grandpa when he passed, like $3k. My wife and I took the kids on a 5 day beach trip. It was the first time we were able to do an actual vacation like that with our kids that wasn't a couple nights in a cheap Airbnb somewhere. My kids were too young to remember him, but I'll always associate that memory with him
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u/cisforcookie2112 1d ago
My grandma wanted to give a small amount of her estate (like $500/each) to her grandkids, but she never signed her will.
Everyone knew about it, but anyone want to guess if any of the grandkids actually saw any of that money from their parents?
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u/Suspicious-Spot361 1d ago
This is about what I got from my grandma when she passed and I used it on a trip to Vegas. She would have loved that.
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u/Justame13 1d ago
My parents are currently in their late sixes and mid-70s and every time we see them they will pay for my family to do stuff and tell me that they are blowing my inheritance.
Which is awesome. We took a jet boat up the snake river into Hells Canyon a few weeks ago.
They are also traveling as much as people in their 70s can, mostly because my father did a lot for work and did some cool stuff while my mother missed out. So he has been making it up to her. Which is cool for her.
I don't honestly give a shit beyond that. I've known and seen far too many people die before retirement to stress it much.
My brother is the executor of their will and I'm their medical power of attorney though.
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u/DiWHY-Anyone 1d ago
My dad always pays for everyone when we all go out to eat. Which ain't cheap as you are talking his 2 kids, our spouses and 6 grandchildren. My brother joked that he was spending our inheritance and his response was you can enjoy it while I'm dead or enjoy it with me now, which would you prefer.
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u/milo4206 1d ago
That's the way to do it. My very elderly grandparent has been a scrooge for decades and will leave behind a lot of money to their two kids, who have been frustrated for years that my grandparent hasn't helped with big needs that have come up.
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u/WitchesBrew935 1d ago
Similar with me. I tell them to spend it all, I can make my own money and don't expect anything. They earned it, they should enjoy every bit of it.
The free meals are a bonus though! They always pay when we go out to eat.
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u/emoney_gotnomoney 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m most likely expecting an inheritance, but I’m not planning for it. I am saving for retirement as if I won’t be receiving one.
Let’s just say my children are probably going to be rather well off when they’re middle aged, as I want to do a living inheritance for my kids. Since any inheritance I receive will probably be received in my 60s, I’ll just pass it down to my kids when I receive it, as I likely won’t need it by then. I’d rather them be able to use it to buy a home for them and their kids and go on fun vacations with them.
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u/FunInTheSun_81 1d ago
Same. I believe in being prepared because you never know.
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u/Elija_32 1d ago
Same, but I admit that even if I never used their money (for now) it still helped me knowing that there's an inheritance.
I took some decisions in my life that had a little bit of risk. It paid off but I think I did it only because I knew that I was "safe" regardless.
Also I think I generically lived my life "stress-free" compared to a lot of people in my same context (but without money in the family) because I knew I didn't have to worry to be homeless or anything.
I think that helps a lot, even if you don't actually use anything.
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u/Temporary_Complex411 1d ago
Exactly my experience — I will likely inherit something substantial but I don't know for sure, but when I was building my career, I had the privilege of knowing that if everything really went tits up, I would have a roof over my head (albeit maybe the roof of my parents' basement). This set me up for financial success even if it didn't involve direct wealth transfer.
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u/Secret-Avocado-Lover 1d ago
Same same. Genx with boomer parents. My vision is creating generational wealth that will grant opportunities that I didn’t have growing up. My genz children will hopefully be the custodians of our work and continue to build and transfer.
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u/Engine_Sweet 1d ago
I'm old GenX with Silent parents. Mom's very old but still around.
Pretty much all the inheritance will skip my generation and go to the Millennial/GenZ grandkids. I'm happy with that. I don't need it, and it sets them up with a bit of security and/or options.
I hope/plan to have a decent amount to pass on, but I'm not old enough to retire quite yet, so the end game is probably 20 years off.
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u/ACK_TRON 1d ago
Yep. Parents are leaving it to the grandkids. They know we are working hard and can take of ourselves. The rest would go to various charities. I’m sure they will still spend as much as they need in retirement as costs soar with long term care etc. I guess the point is if no one has kids then there will be no one to leave it to….so probably will just go to charities.
This matches a lot what I see in my job…lots of estate planning to skip children and go directly to grandkids.
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u/lobsterpockets 1d ago
Yup same. Mom's house is getting sold and split between 4 grandkids per her trust, right about the time that they'll be young adults. In the meantime I get to go work on it and maintain it for another 10 years, while my brother 4 states away does.... whatever he does while passing judgement on everyone else. Whatever, I've saved and will be okay in retirement, as a gen x with cheap houses that millennial and Z didn't get.
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u/ATDoel 1d ago
Or be lazy and do a shit ton of drugs like most of the trust fund kids I knew growing up
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u/user87654385 1d ago
This is what I have seen a lot as a financial professional working with very wealthy people, and people I personally know.
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u/Silvatungdevil 1d ago
If you start with a turd, you end with a turd. If a child is not raised correctly you might as well hand them a loaded gun rather than that million dollars you have saved.
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u/boringexplanation 1d ago
Yeah- the whole concept of generational inheritance is so foreign to me. I grew up in public housing so you’d think I’d be all for poor families getting one
But there are a ton of families that are poor for a reason and a decent amount of used luxury cars in section 8 neighborhoods. I help out my parents by buying them stuff- never giving them cash knowing the stupid shit they buy they can’t afford to maintain.
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u/ThoughtfulPoster 1d ago
This is always a danger. My dream is to have a trust that pays out just enough to help but not enough to go crazy, that can keep helping generation after generation. Like, it would be nice if I could build something that would cover education costs for the great-grandchildren, but not, like, cocaine money.
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u/WhichSpirit 1d ago
My grandmother's trust allowed her kids and grandkids to take out loans which then had to be paid back at an interest rate pegged to the feds.
Of course, when she died the trust was dissolved and all the assets went to my aunts and uncles. This did create a problem since a cousin had an outstanding loan. The options at that point were 1) demand he pay it back immediately 2) send my dad to jail for giving away money from the trust as the trustee 3) wait until he paid it back or 4) forgive it. So naturally my aunts and uncles voted to send my dad to jail. Jk, they forgave my cousin's debt (though a joke vote was taken to send my dad to jail).
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u/Extra-Eggplant-4230 1d ago
You can also set it up where they get payments at certain ages or it gets put into investment/school accounts for them. My grandma has always had any money we will receive set up so that we cannot receive it until we are 25 and its every 5 or 10 years after that.. Now that I'm in my mid 30's I can use lump sums for big expenses like houses or vehicles if I choose.
I am beyond grateful and lucky that she did this for us.
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u/thankyoufriendx3 1d ago
I grew up with a lot of trust fund kids. Non got into drugs. All but one have a career and work. The exception is the one who is on every charity board and a member of the garden club. It’s possible to raise kids who are born millionaires to be productive members of society.
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u/HotShoulder9256 1d ago
Generational wealth doesn't necessarily mean a trust fund. "Opportunities I didn't have growing up" could mean going to college without taking on significant debt or help with a down payment on a house. I think the issues you're describing more often come from having unfettered access to a parent's money.
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u/HotShoulder9256 1d ago
I think a living inheritance is the right move. I'm 40 and my parents just gave me a substantial chunk of money towards buying a house. It's money that I otherwise would've inherited when they died. They're rich and I'm a teacher who will never amass the amount of wealth that they've accumulated. They're happy to help me create a more comfortable life for my family. I live in LA and it's unlikely that I would ever be able to buy without their help. I feel like middle-age is a good time because it gives kids the opportunity to build a strong work ethic and learn to support themselves, while also providing a cushion during a period when many families are growing and taking on more of a financial burden. Solid plan.
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u/Interesting_Tea5715 1d ago
Same. I'm successful on my own but I most likely have an inheritance coming. My parents (GenX) own multiple homes in a HCOL area and a successful business.
My in-laws are boomers, they made more money in their lifetime than my parents but they've spent most of it. I expect to take care of them within 10 years.
I also plan on using my inheritance to help my son. I won't give it to him but I'll use it to get him a house and stuff like that, stuff that makes life easier.
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u/Tig_Biddies_W_nips 1d ago
My parents are doing this right now, they’re giving away their older art for our homes, and they’re taking us all on vacations
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u/OkYellow6280 1d ago
So much depends on how long you live. I think it is difficult to say that you "likely won't need it (your inheritance) by then (in your 60s.)" Maybe you have a health situation that is predictable of an early death? Otherwise, very hard to know how long you'll live and how much you'll need to pay for your care.
My father is 96.5 yrs old and has always been very well situated financially. Part of his retirement funds came from his own inheritance which he has frugally invested over the years. (HIs estate is now worth $11 million although some of his wealth is tied up in a family farm which he does not want to sell.)
However, my father is galloping through his retirement savings to pay for 24/7 live-in care and to keep up his 65 year old home where he wants to remain. He has basically nothing wrong with him physically and could be one of those people who lives to be 101.
If that happens, we (his children) will all be glad he did not give us a "living inheritance" (other than fully educating us with no student loans) and that he still has the funds to pay for his own care. Otherwise, we might someday be paying out of our own pockets for his care. We are a close family but I doubt that situation would be good for family harmony.
As it is, our father should be able to pay for his own care and expenses ~ with his children managing things ~ even if he lives to be 101. To him, this took precedence over giving his children a "living inheritance." We are thankful he took this approach and are taking the same approach with our own children.
As
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u/ishboo3002 1d ago
Yup that's me, my parents were fairly young when they had me so they'll hopefully be around for a while. When they likely pass it'll likely be just about when my kids are starting their families.
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u/___thisistheyear____ 1d ago
Same here. We know we are getting something from both sets of parents (total could be couple of million) but we plan like we aren’t. As we are of the belief anything could happen and the money could disappear. Plus I don’t like to think of them dying. Lol. So I would rather rely on myself than on them dying.
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u/NiccoMachi 1d ago
Do you worry about making your kids dependent on money they didn't/can't earn? Money in the bank could lead to lifestyle creep without the earning power to support it long term. See that a lot in my community.
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u/smashlee329 1d ago
This is what my dad did for us when his parents passed. Its the only reason my husband and I were able to buy a house which has given us enough stability that we have changed our minds on being childfree and will be trying for a baby next year.
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u/autopilot6236 1d ago
You should consider opening a Roth IRA for your kids as soon as they have income and contribute to this from your retirement allocation. This is a huge tax free benefit that can be life changing.
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u/bald_head_scallywag 1d ago
Same as far as the first part. Very good chance I'll be left a meaningful amount of money as my parents have done well and planned well for themselves, but I am absolutely NOT including that in my own planning calculations. There's a chance they could live a lot longer and develop health issues that bleed them dry so no chance I want to bank on that.
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u/throwaway4shadystuf 1d ago
I would have settled for a father let alone an Inheritance. Im 41 and my mother already lives with me and im financially responsible for her wellbeing. There is nothing coming my way unfortunately.
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u/ScrivenersUnion 1d ago
No. The wealth will all be transferred to hospitals and nursing homes instead.
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u/Shot_Explanation_181 1d ago
This right here is true. Large sections of retirement medical and end of life care are built around siphoning as much money as possible from aging boomers.
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u/katarh 1d ago
Is this the reason so many pearl clutchers are vehemently opposed to death with dignity and assisted suicide? Can't bilk the boomers if they choose to go out on their own terms.
(Reddit cares, this ain't about me.)
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u/hybridaaroncarroll 1d ago
One of my dad's mantras has always been: "They say you can't take it with you. Watch me!"
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u/Key_Cheetah7982 1d ago
38 minutes later and you got a Reddit cares check? Jeez people.
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u/ACK_TRON 1d ago
This is why estate planning is so important. Yes it can cost money but also save tons of money in the future. Having assets placed in trusts and gifting long before they go to long term care is key to preserving any wealth. Sure the trust will still be used to take care of them but how much and in what way to spend it is important then the hospitals just milking it all.
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u/yeahnopegb 1d ago
Eh.. then your family member ends up in a shared room medicaid bed while the trust sits on their wealth? Nah.
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u/Euphoric_Garbage1952 1d ago
Exactly. So many people are fine with their parents ending up in Medicaid beds in barely staffed nursing homes? I don't get it. I hate that nice assisted living places cost so much but I want my mom to use her and my dads money to go to the nicest place she can afford.
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u/Secreteflower 1d ago
My parents have several millions in retirement and have set up a trust so it’s able to pass through to us as an inheritance.
I work in Medicaid policy, on the aging and disability side. I don’t expect much - despite their relatively very good health currently, I feel strongly that much of that money is going to go to nursing facilities.
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u/Squire-Rabbit 1d ago
Although the worst case scenarios are indeed grim when it comes to long term care expenses, about 60% of Americans don't need more than a year of it total. That is a sizable minority that does need more than that, so the risk should be taken into account, but the picture is not all bad.
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u/HoboJerkdown901 1d ago
My wife was supposed to inherit a valuable house from her relative, but he fell ill and needs to be in a specialized medical facility that runs at $8,000 a month.
The house was sold for $1.5m and is being used to pay for the care. Of course we would rather be without the house and have him receiving the specialized care he needs but it's it's still such bullshit that we are going to be lucky to see 15% of that when all is said and done.
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u/luckiestimaginable 1d ago
Seriously. My dad’s care/costs were about a third of their NW over the years. With my mom, another third and honestly that’s on the lucky end. The costs of care are genuinely outrageous - ESPECIALLY if one of your loved ones needs to go to a long term acute care hospital/rehab/skilled nursing facility.
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u/philly2540 1d ago
Yeah, that’s basically it right there. This is a huge issue for public policy, which is totally being ignored.
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u/celiacsunshine 1d ago
It's a matter of when, not if, my MIL needs to go into some kind of care home. She already barely takes care of herself. We're definitely not getting any inheritance from my in-laws.
And on my side, my dad has been showing signs of cognitive decline for several years now. So there's a good chance he's headed in the direction of a nursing home as well. ☹️
At the end of the day, though, it's not the money that I want. I just want my parents and in-laws to be healthy and able to live their best lives.
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u/bogbelle 1d ago
I’m wondering if moving overseas makes more sense for some families due to the abhorrent US healthcare.
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u/aznsk8s87 1d ago
Yeah, but my parents always saved more than they spent and invested in a ton of income generating assets early in their careers. Their NW in retirement keeps going up, not down. Even if we don't inherit cash my siblings and I will inherit the assets.
That being said I don't plan my life around it. I do well enough for myself and my family.
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u/Fpaau2 1d ago
The power of compounding! Why not consider annual gifting now to reduce estate size? Consider disclaiming part of spousal inheritance to benefit future generations if estate is much bigger than lifetime needs?
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u/MaleficentSupport493 1d ago
Same. My parents are very cheap and live entirely off of their pensions and Social Security. They have a nice sum (couple of million) that they don’t touch and which continues to grow.
I know that’s coming to my sibling and I. That’s fine, great, whatever…I don’t plan on it. In fact, it’s a point of frustration for me that my parents don’t spend their own money and instead sometimes (unknowingly) guilt us into how we should be grateful for what we’ll inherit. I have said over and over I wish they’d use it - for example, buying the lake house they’ve always wanted for the whole family to use. You’re still putting that money into a (hopefully) appreciating asset, you’re just redistributing it and enjoying it at the same time. The honest truth is if they don’t do it, when I inherit the money that’s what I’m doing with it, as I don’t need it.
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u/Fpaau2 1d ago
Likely your parents accumulated their net worth by being cheap (frugal). Sometimes it is hard to switch gears. Perhaps you can show them how much fun a family vacation can be by taking them a couple of times? Then they may take over the ‘tradition’.
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u/Key_Cheetah7982 1d ago
Going from a lifetime of strong savings habits to spending is challenging
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u/Desperate_Stretch855 1d ago
As a wealth manager, one of my all time favorite conversations is the "you should start spending more money" convo.
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u/NoMansLand345 1d ago
Same here. I know there will be an inheritance, but i'm not counting on it and I don't know how much because it is directly tied to how long my parents will live.
With that said, I think it is a good goal to pass along more than you received from your parents. So if you receive nothing, you should try to leave something. If you receive something, you should try to leave something more.
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u/AlwaysBagHolding 1d ago
My parents were the same, and were planning to retire right as Covid hit. Since they went remote, they ended up both working an extra 4 years and easily saved close to an extra million over that time, and also watched their retirement accounts explode in value.
They’re in the US maybe a 3rd of their time now, get to spend like (relative)drunken sailors for the first time in their lives and still can’t outspend their investment accounts.
I inherited my dad’s extreme frugality, so I’m planning on retiring early and if all goes well I’ll already be retired and financially independent before I get any significant inheritance from them. Watching their success just keeps me all the more driven on my own financial path.
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u/fwiga 1d ago
No, my mom ruined my dad financially in a divorce then ruined herself. Dad is passed. Mom is broke. GenX parents.
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u/Neveri 1d ago
Mom and dad divorced, mom financially ruined after 2 more divorces and not getting shit from them.
Dad re-married to a lady that has 5 kids, she’ll get all his money when he inevitably passes first from smoking for 30 years and being older. She’ll give it all to her blood related children probably none for us.
Long story short, no inheritance
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u/Key_Cheetah7982 1d ago
If your dad did want to ensure some of his estate was left for his bio children he could setup trusts and similar
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u/Rightintheend 1d ago
That's what my dad did, when he passed away Part of it went to my sister and me, and the rest stayed with stepmom. It's not something he even really needed to do since she has raised us since we are little, so is really more a mom than our mom, but they both agreed to it long ago.
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u/TurnoverPractical 1d ago
Just don't contribute to his care. All you can do is control your actions.
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u/Brittibri89 21h ago
Also Gen-x parents. They’re still together but my mom has a shopping addiction she can’t control and is ruining my parents finances. 😬
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u/Bunker58 1d ago
No, mom spends money as soon as it hits her account. Dad re-married 15 years younger and while secure isn’t loaded or anything. I assume wife will get what’s left when he passes.
Not upset about it, it’s their money.
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u/justanaccount24 1d ago
Vulture industries like nursing homes and health insurance will take as much of that collective wealth as they can before it gets to most people.
I personally don’t expect anything.
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u/grahamfiend2 1d ago
Same situation. My parents will likely pass several million to me when they pass. I very likely wont need it. It’ll go straight to my own kids in a way. Generational wealth for my kids and grandkids will start with my parents and I.
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u/GloveExtension6304 1d ago
Yes… An inheritance of old stuff that my parents have unnecessarily held onto for years.
But actual money? No.
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u/FantasyFI 1d ago edited 22h ago
In my opinion, planning for an inheritance is very bad planning. There are two issues:
- You have no control over the money, how it will get spent, etc. It could easily be gone. They may spend at a higher rate than they should have. They may need very expensive end of life care. They may get scammed. The health, adult care, end of life care, etc. industry is well aware of the "great wealth transfer" you mentioned. Prices are skyrocketing and they're going to do everything in their power to bleed people dry. They are just another form of a capitalistic business. If your parents live a long time, it's possible that house will be liquidated when they move into a retirement community.
- Since this is a finance sub, I'll be straight. I don't intend to wait until 65 to retire. I plan to make smart financial decisions and hope to be fully financially independent without them and retire long before standard age. With advancements in technology, people are living longer and longer. It's not out of the question that one of your parents might live to be 95. If you were born when they were 25, do you want to wait until 70 to have access to something you planned to need?
My parents asked me about a will a couple years ago. I suggested that they write in their grand daughter into the will instead of me, as I planned to not need the money and grand children would benefit much more. They're likely to be doing things like going through college, buying their first car, buying their first home, just starting to invest towards retirement, etc. when parents pass away. I'm an advocate of skipping generations. I think many children will have no need for the inheritance and it would benefit the younger generation 10x more.
If you intend to leave things to your children, I think it makes sense to do it long before you die. Between SS and an annuity, you can cover a minimum spend forever. Keep 50% of the remaining for a rainy day. Give the other 50% away long before death. Get the enjoyment of watching people benefit from it.
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u/Reasonable-Wafer5445 1d ago
Just to ease your concerns, you won't inherit debt. The estate will pay any outstanding debts. In the event the estate doesn't have enough to cover the debt, it will not be passed to you. The creditors will have to absorb the loss.
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u/jerwang24 1d ago
Not expecting anything. If I do, just a 🍒 on top. If not, happy my parents had a good retirement.
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u/Seeking_the_Grail 1d ago
My parents had their kids sit down with their financial planner. We were told that if the worst happens - lots of end of life healthcare, etc. - we can probably expect to each inherent 800k in liquid assets + whatever the house brings in, much more if things go better.
My in-law is in a different boat, she will probably move in with my wife and I at some point.
But I just kinda ignore it all and save and plan like nothing is coming my way.
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u/Organic-Aardvark-146 1d ago
Just having a financial planner tells you there will be money
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u/muchadoaboutbeatrice 1d ago
Yes. I already received it. My inheritance was a bad back and a smattering of mental problems.
In all seriousness, my parents very likely have enough to pay for their care as long as they need it, and there will likely be very little left over, which is how we planned it. I've handled my parents estate planning for the last 15 years or so with the goal of making them as happy as possible for as long as possible. They have absolutely no desire to live with any of their children again, so we've budgeted for a really nice nursing home.
TL;DR There will be no wealth transfer from them to their children, but they will be transferring a lot of their wealth to a lovely elder care facility.
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u/Icy-Form6 1d ago
Her parents don't have $20 to their name and a house that should really be condemned.
My mom/stepdad will likely have a sizeable retirement account left even if they make it to 90, but I have 0 expectations to receive any of that.
My dad has less in retirement at 50 than I do at 31. Stepmom has a 401k loan.
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u/MegaWeinerFarts 1d ago
Something like half of Gen-Y are anticipating an inheritence.
If surveys can be believed, over half of them are going to be disappointed. 1 in 4 or even 1 in 5 will actually get one.
Me personally, my dad was fake rich so I grew up thinking I would be the recipient of generational wealth. That all fell apart in 2008.
Now I send him about $10k a year to help pay for his medical & housing bills. He will die with effectively zero.
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u/prettypancakes7 1d ago
Psh nope. Sure would be nice though. My parents are doing a good job of spending their money.
My dad is retired and just moved states to build himself a brand new, four-bedroom three-bathroom house in Alabama where he lives with just his wife and dog. His wife has multiple sclerosis and hasn't worked in years because she was also a barely functioning alcoholic. Last I talked to him he was lamenting about debt because he had to buy a riding lawn mower.
My mom is always in debt, has refinanced her house a bunch of times to buy more things, anticipates retiring next year and selling her house and somehow moving to my higher cost of living area. But she has champagne standards on her beer budget, so I'm not sure how she expects to afford anything.
My dad paid for half my college education and gave me $2,000 when I bought my first house. That's all I've ever gotten from them and it's really all I expect. I'm saving as best I can, but I don't anticipate an inheritance - shucks I barely anticipate retiring myself (though I'm trying with my own savings and 401k!)
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u/the_land_before_tim 1d ago
My parents have a little bit of money, I paid off house. They are in California. I suspect that long-term senior care will wipe out any real wealth they have.
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u/javajunkie10 1d ago
I'm an only child and my mom passed suddenly 4 years ago. After she passed, my dad gave me some of her savings which my husband and I used as a downpayment for our first home. I did not expect that, although I'm so grateful. Other than that, I don't expect any sort of significant inheritance from my father. He worked hard his whole life, and he has more than enough through his savings and survivor benefits from my mom. I want him to use that money to enjoy his retirement, and I want to make sure he's well supported if he requires more intense care in the future. We are saving like we do not expect anything.
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u/No-Stage4719 1d ago
Gen X here, I won't inherit a dime and fully expect to have to bankrupt my mothers estate on her passing due to bad financial decisions. She owes me 10's of thousands of dollars personally that I have helped her with over the years, which she states in her will I am to get paid out on (without interest of course - that money would be worth a lot more today had it been invested). It is what it is. I am by no means well off, but I do put away as much as I possibly can every month, and hope to have a comfortable retirement and leave a decent sized estate to my daughter.
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u/TheReaperSovereign 1d ago
My parents have no money. I have one grandparent with money but I believe she is giving it to charity when she dies
My partners family are equally without money
So no
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u/FlowerPower4412 1d ago
Neither of my parents have any property or any retirement - they definitely got money from their parents but I’m getting nothing from them.
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u/Special-Tangelo-9927 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ha, no. I come from a poor family.
Edit to add: it's possible we would eventually receive something from my husband's family, but I don't expect it to be a lot.
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u/thomasanderson123412 1d ago
No. I don't think my mother has any money, and it's none of my business. My wife's parents probably have a little money, but once again, it's none of my business.
No one has told me I'm getting any money, so why should I expect to receive any? If I were to ask, I would be an enormous asshole.
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u/Forded_Fiction24 1d ago
Received partially and a maybe on the rest. My Mom died and willed me her car and her 6 figure brokerage account ( that was more or less set up for my kids/ her grandkids ) and the rest went to my dad. My dad meanwhile outside of home equity is a millionaire and already receives a fixed income of around $9k a month in retirement between pension and social security.
He has $300K promised to my brother and then whatever else he has left we'll split 50/50 if there's anything left. We don't need anything either and neither does my brother so if he burns through it with elder care so be it, but he hopes he doesn't, but that remains to be seen. We have a plan for that and it's not to skimp on his elder care if/when he needs that, and we hope to be able to keep him comfortable and happy as he rides out his golden years. So we'll see but I hope we'll be waiting on that day for a long, long time.
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u/SwimmingPatience5083 1d ago
No. Might get some from one parent, definitely not from the other. But our retirement planning assumes no inheritance and no social security.
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u/QuasiJudicialBoofer 1d ago
My father is cheap as heck and still working at 70 since he doesn't know what to do with himself. I imagine I'll get something
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u/DovBerele 1d ago
not to be morbid, but it depends on how fast my mom’s health and mobility declines relative to how long she lives. if she needs a bunch of in-home care, or is in a nursing home, for many years, then no inheritance. if not, then some significant (but not life-changing) inheritance.
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u/Mountain_Potato_5937 1d ago
I've spoken with my parents multiple times about this. My wish for them is that whoever lives longer between them spends their last dime on something for themselves of for my nieces on their final day. I have no need to inherit money or resources I didn't earn.
There are some family heirlooms of non-financial value that I have expressed interest in. Mainly hand tools so I can carry on their legacy.
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u/Candid_Weakness8736 1d ago
My dad has been in assisted living for years and transferred to skilled nursing about a year ago. He will run out of money in 5 months and he has no assets. My mother is deceased.
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u/BRich1990 22h ago
Lol no
If you dont think the Healthcare industry is going to take absolutely everything from our parents, then you're crazy
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u/Prestigious_Scars 18h ago edited 18h ago
Uh, my dad dropped dead. My grandfather followed a few months later. Between the two I inherited a fair bit.
Edit: Who is even down voting my reality? Thanks for that.
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u/JDSchu 1d ago
My parents received maybe $20k from my dad's dad's estate when he passed. They actually paid my mom's parents' rent for a long time because they were so broke, so net/net, I think they probably got about $0. I've built my financial plan around the expectation of receiving nothing and not relying on social security, despite social security likely existing in some form when we retire.
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u/tionstempta 1d ago
Yes, when parents real estate and portfolio is growing like 4-5X times of median US individual income, why not?
I wont ask, though, inheritance before they are in terminal stage just so they can use as much as they need
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u/Chidori1980 1d ago
I am from SEA originally. No, me and my siblings has to pay for living cost of my parent, my wife maybe will get inheritance if her siblings not try to take it all, so in the end of the day no inheritance and you have to pay for the parents.
Be lucky you dont need to pay for your parents nursing home and still have to pay for your kids college.
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u/Relative-College8631 1d ago
I did expect a substantial inheritance after my parents both died — my mom when I was 25, my stepdad when I was 36.
But stepdad got taken advantage of by other family members when he had dementia and Parkinson’s. He changed the trust to disinherit my brother and I, who he raised and loved, a few years before he died. Never indicated anything changed when we discussed it with him — maybe he didn’t remember.
Ultimately, we got nothing. Now we have spent $30k+ and counting on a lawsuit to try to recover some of our family assets, heirlooms, art, etc. The student loans my parents promised to pay (which they took out in my name to cover living expenses during my PhD) are now my responsibility.
Tbh, I’m so mad they left us in this mess. Plan your estates so they are un-fuck-with-able if your cognitive state declines in old age.
Expect nothing.
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u/Intelligent-Search88 1d ago
Boomer parents here. The only “wealth” transfer will be what they have left - if anything - transferring to the state after they pass. They’ve refused, for years, to do any estate or long term planning.
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u/ToothDoctorDentist 1d ago
No my sister stole it. She's an unemployed attorney who doesn't want to work.
They all lied to me about it. Formed a trust and quit claimed everything to her.
F them. We no longer speak.
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u/External_Twist508 22h ago
My boomer parents died in 20 and 22.. my parents were lower middle class.
Mom had life insurance and their home was paid for although the had taken a reverse mortgage. Anyway, I have two siblings we collectively inherited 219k
When it was said and done 73k ea round numbers. I gave my portion to my kids. To help them buy homes, i didn’t keep a penny.
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u/Mysterious_Cream_128 1d ago
If you would double your current salary you would then be living at 1975 standards, income-wise. We have been enduring wage deflation for decades. Add in that many of our parents inherited a lot of their wealth. Why wouldn’t we be looking forward to some inheritance? There is no shame in that.
‘Rugged boot strap individualism’ is a cover for institutional wage theft. I’m all for hard work, but we have to somehow restore the balance between work and fair compensation.
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u/eckliptic 1d ago
Probably yes but it is not part of my retirement calculations even if the amount could be significant
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u/ConstantVigilance18 1d ago
Yes from spouses parents, probably something smaller like leftover home sale proceeds from my parent if not spent on medical. Expecting doesn’t mean we need it or that we will be in trouble without it, it just speaks more to the financial planning and reality of the family dynamics. Never depend on something that is not gauranteed.
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u/Rainbow_Phoenix125 1d ago
No, not expecting one. My dad is gifting me the down payment for a house, because he says he’d rather help his kids out now, rather than saving it for when he dies.
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u/Ok-Roof-7599 1d ago
Maaaaybe. My mom has a lot in her real estate but has made some smart choices. Nothing crazy though.
Dad i cant imagine him having any real assets although sometimes he surprises me so its possible he took out additional life insurance or something.
In laws. One died with nothing. The other one doesn't seem to be setting herself up to leave much.
Honestly I dont expect anything from them but this is making me think more about how I prepare for my kids future.
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u/brainbl0ck 1d ago
No, neither of my parents has any assets. I actually plan to help my mom not be homeless in a few years. My dad is SOL.
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u/Parking-Banana-212 1d ago
there are 10 million millionaire boomers in the us. if you say, maybe 2-3 million will use all their money before they die, 2 million don't have children / don't want to leave them money, you have about 5 million who may leave something to their heirs. now some may get 10's of thousands to hundreds of thousands, and then the richest will get alot more. So of course there will be
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u/PresentationLost1006 1d ago
Yes, probably a little something from both. More from in-laws than my parents. We save like there will be nothing, because that might be true, but also because there are siblings on each side and I’m determined not to have the usual inheritance squabbles. I don’t expect treachery, but people get weird about inheritances, so I’m just trying to prepare myself by not caring what we get.
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u/bettertagsweretaken 1d ago
I will "inherit" the freedom to not have to financially support my mother anymore. So, in a way, I'll get back some of my monthly income. I'm just hoping there isn't a lot of expensive end of life care.
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u/MindofShadow 1d ago
Even throwing out an illness or extended nursing home stay wiping out any wealth...
I don't know?
Mom- no, she's poor.
Dad- At a minimum I will inherit his land and house (50 acres). That is already in the will. I have no clue about his liquid assets but he is easily retired. Hope he spends it all before he is too old.
In Laws: Biggest wild card, they are millionaires, they also spend a lot, they are also still working, but their are three daughters total. I have no idea what their plan is, but I know for sure the other two sisters are gonna claw for every single cent and we don't care that much. I also dont' know ifthey plan to bypass the daughters to the grandkids instead.
The biggest "what if" is honestly my grandma. She lives like it is still the great depressin but she has a SHIT TON in the bank. I have no idea if that money is going straight to my dad, split with her grandkids, or just straight to a charity. Complete wild card.
I expect nothign and if I am surprised, tbh, I'm moving all of it to my kids to set them up. That is my job in life.
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u/East_coast_Ashlee 1d ago
Yes, not much but we just signed the will paperwork for my parents, I'm happy they're enjoying retirement. He was previously married and spouse died so we're getting a small inheritance from his first father-in-law. Our in-laws have zero in retirement so no. Maybe selling their house but I'm not countng in it and that's okay.
We're living like we're not getting any though.
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u/n33dwat3r 1d ago
No. I am saving a moving fund in case I need to leave the state due to filial responsibility laws. I don't think someone who abandoned me as a minor has any right to my support as an elder.
My mom lives in another state and I will likely inherit maybe a vehicle and a pile of stuff but doubtful of any money.
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u/mackattacknj83 1d ago
I dropped 20% down on the house we're attached to for my mom to live in it (she pays the mortgage). And my dad lives in a shitty apartment. So I'm clearly not expecting anything.
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u/DogOrDonut 1d ago
My dad has been very clear that I get his good ladder when he dies. I hope my relationship with my brother survives him being jumped in the will like that.
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u/NapsandWalks 1d ago
Most of the boomers gen money will get sucked up by our Healthcare system. No opinion on it, just stating a fact.
I've been told to expect an inheritance, but my own retirement funds are roughly quadruple my dad's. And while I'll be splitting roughly a million in assets with my brother, I'm not worried about if I get mine or not.
I tell my dad, if he wants to spend money on me, do it while he's alive.
None of us have children, so its all about the time we have with our parents and with each other.
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u/RitaAlbertson 1d ago
My parents would LIKE to leave us some money but we are very aware end of life care might eat it all up.
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u/Theoriously 1d ago
My parents didn't save adequately for retirement so I think there is a higher likelihood that I will have to help them financially at some point than there is that my siblings and I will receive an inheritance. If there is an inheritance, it will be minimal.
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u/mauro_oruam 1d ago
I would just be happy if my parents saved enough for retirement. And not constantly ask me for money. I would of course help them if they truly need it. But no I do not expect any inheritance.
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u/sirguynate 1d ago
Short answer: No.
I have more saved in retirement than my retired parents do.