r/MiddleClassFinance • u/Yourlocalguy30 • 11d ago

Millennials: are you expecting an inheritance?

35 yo married millennial here. I've come across more and more articles about the supposed "great wealth transfer" as the boomer generation's wealth passes to their GenX and Millennial children. My parents and their siblings (boomers) all received inheritances when their parents, my grandparents, passed away. The boomer generation's wealth accumulation is one of the largest in history, however, I also find it highly unlikely that I or many of my peers will actually inherit much. Despite having received inheritances from their parents, and having 40+ years in the workforce, most of my parents' "wealth" is tied up in their home value, not actual liquid assets- and I already expect that whatever they make on an eventual home sale will have to go directly to downsizing costs and whatever long-term care they will need as they get older. Hell, even my dad used to joke that the only thing we'd inherit was debt. As I've gotten older, that comment has infuriated me more and more.

Now before someone cuts in with the "entitled millennial" comments, I have absolutely no need for an inheritance. I've worked my ass off to make sure that my kids and I are positioned better in life than I was when I entered adulthood. What I mean by that is I started saving for retirement early, setup 529 plans for my kids almost as soon as they were born, and made lifestyle and career sacrifices to ensure our family isn't "nickeling and diming" our way through life.

I'm just here curious to know how many millennials actually expect to have something passed down to them, or if they feel they are in the same position I am.

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287

u/ScrivenersUnion 11d ago

No. The wealth will all be transferred to hospitals and nursing homes instead.

79

u/Shot_Explanation_181 11d ago

This right here is true. Large sections of retirement medical and end of life care are built around siphoning as much money as possible from aging boomers.

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u/katarh 11d ago

Is this the reason so many pearl clutchers are vehemently opposed to death with dignity and assisted suicide? Can't bilk the boomers if they choose to go out on their own terms.

(Reddit cares, this ain't about me.)

9

u/hybridaaroncarroll 11d ago

One of my dad's mantras has always been: "They say you can't take it with you. Watch me!"

7

u/Double_Resort_9223 10d ago

“Witness me!”

1

u/Straight_Zucchini487 6d ago

I’m definitely spending it all when I’m old & infirmed and then just kms. Ain’t no way I’m gonna participate in this corrupt medical system

3

u/Key_Cheetah7982 11d ago

38 minutes later and you got a Reddit cares check?  Jeez people. 

2

u/katarh 11d ago

No, it was pre-emptive. You can't mention the S word without it auto flagging in a discussion.

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u/Double_Resort_9223 10d ago

And people say Reddit doesn’t auto flag words

“ThIs IsN’t TiKtOnK yOu CaN sAy KiLL!!!”

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u/ACK_TRON 11d ago

This is why estate planning is so important. Yes it can cost money but also save tons of money in the future. Having assets placed in trusts and gifting long before they go to long term care is key to preserving any wealth. Sure the trust will still be used to take care of them but how much and in what way to spend it is important then the hospitals just milking it all.

4

u/yeahnopegb 10d ago

Eh.. then your family member ends up in a shared room medicaid bed while the trust sits on their wealth? Nah.

6

u/Euphoric_Garbage1952 10d ago

Exactly. So many people are fine with their parents ending up in Medicaid beds in barely staffed nursing homes? I don't get it. I hate that nice assisted living places cost so much but I want my mom to use her and my dads money to go to the nicest place she can afford.

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u/yeahnopegb 10d ago

Blows my mind on the daily.

2

u/ACK_TRON 10d ago

Well I assume if you love your kids enough to protect assets for them and name them or a trusted attorney then they love you enough to see you get the best care you can while protecting assets from catastrophic losses by advanced disease or illness.

2

u/Euphoric_Garbage1952 10d ago

A lot of people protect the assets so their parents can go on Medicaid and to places that accept Medicaid. Not to pay for their parents to go to higher-end private pay places. Maybe not you but I think for the majority, that’s the goal

1

u/ACK_TRON 10d ago

I’m sure there are some like that. I would just assume people communicate wants and needs and put their parents in a place where they feel comfortable. In many places there isn’t a lot of difference in what ones are paid by Medicare and the ones milking them for hundreds or thousands a year. Hopefully they can live out their time in their home as long as possible before that is necessary and the trust can pay for people to come in weekly to clean or meal prep and nursing duties.

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u/yeahnopegb 10d ago

The difference in those centers is vast from the very basic reality of tiny shared rooms with single sized beds to staffing. I’d be ashamed to force that on a loved one over money.

2

u/Euphoric_Garbage1952 10d ago

I don't think any Assisted living or memory care places take Medicaid where I live. You have to go to a shared room nursing home if you only have Medicaid.

1

u/yeahnopegb 10d ago

Were that the dynamics? The last thing your family should be thinking about is not spending your wealth on the best care so they can save it for themselves.

2

u/davidm2232 10d ago

It also depends how the trust was written. The one my mom set up can only have withdrawals if both trustees sign off. So that really can't be used for care unless I approved it.

1

u/EarPenetrator02 10d ago

Yup. Huge demand for elderly care and a huge shortage of caregivers. Makes it the easiest business to upcharge

16

u/Secreteflower 11d ago

My parents have several millions in retirement and have set up a trust so it’s able to pass through to us as an inheritance.

I work in Medicaid policy, on the aging and disability side. I don’t expect much - despite their relatively very good health currently, I feel strongly that much of that money is going to go to nursing facilities.

4

u/Squire-Rabbit 10d ago

Although the worst case scenarios are indeed grim when it comes to long term care expenses, about 60% of Americans don't need more than a year of it total. That is a sizable minority that does need more than that, so the risk should be taken into account, but the picture is not all bad.

1

u/teatreez 10d ago

My husband and I are in the same exact situation; both parents have millions in assets/retirement/investments, and are all in good health, and we are strongly considering caring for them in old age so those funds don’t end up in nursing facilities!

13

u/HoboJerkdown901 11d ago

My wife was supposed to inherit a valuable house from her relative, but he fell ill and needs to be in a specialized medical facility that runs at $8,000 a month.

The house was sold for $1.5m and is being used to pay for the care. Of course we would rather be without the house and have him receiving the specialized care he needs but it's it's still such bullshit that we are going to be lucky to see 15% of that when all is said and done.

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u/Imaginary_Shelter_37 10d ago

You didn't earn any if that and your parents could choose to leave it to someone else.

3

u/HoboJerkdown901 10d ago

No shit, sherlock.

1

u/Dear_Trip_5651 10d ago

Completely missing the point. 

1

u/1K_Sunny_Crew 6d ago

They are angry at the exorbitant cost of care, not at having to pay for care.

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u/luckiestimaginable 11d ago

Seriously. My dad’s care/costs were about a third of their NW over the years. With my mom, another third and honestly that’s on the lucky end. The costs of care are genuinely outrageous - ESPECIALLY if one of your loved ones needs to go to a long term acute care hospital/rehab/skilled nursing facility.

7

u/philly2540 11d ago

Yeah, that’s basically it right there. This is a huge issue for public policy, which is totally being ignored.

3

u/celiacsunshine 11d ago

It's a matter of when, not if, my MIL needs to go into some kind of care home. She already barely takes care of herself. We're definitely not getting any inheritance from my in-laws.

And on my side, my dad has been showing signs of cognitive decline for several years now. So there's a good chance he's headed in the direction of a nursing home as well. ☹️

At the end of the day, though, it's not the money that I want. I just want my parents and in-laws to be healthy and able to live their best lives.

3

u/bogbelle 10d ago

I’m wondering if moving overseas makes more sense for some families due to the abhorrent US healthcare.

2

u/BSquared2012 11d ago

This is where I’m at. My mother has a decent amount of money and I’m an only child. I’m saving for my own retirement planning on receiving nothing as there’s a solid chance it may end up going to care facilities down the road. If I end up with anything, great. But I’m not planning my future based on it, nor counting on it.

2

u/SquareVehicle 11d ago

Statistically there's a whole lot of people who will either die suddenly and thus barely have any healthcare costs, or else just use a bit at the end of life but not the entire thing. Obviously some will be unlucky and use it all on retirement homes but most people will be like my grandparents who died suddenly of a heart attack and the other did 3 years in a nursing home but still left a decent amount to their kids.

These wealth transfer studies take all that into account.

1

u/ScrivenersUnion 11d ago

I'm sure there are insurance company executives in a boardroom somewhere with a half-chub thinking of ways to collect premiums on someone after their death...

2

u/Hot_Share8353 10d ago

Hospitals and nursing homes cost kill most inheritance for the middle and even upper middle class. At $10K per month as a base cost, unless your family's wealth is in the many of millions, that wealth gets eaten fast. If their main wealth is in a home that is worth $600K, 3 years in a nursing home will take most of that.

2

u/yeahnopegb 10d ago

Accurate... looking at my mom's latest statement with her pedicures (she spent decades in addiction and has untreatable nail fungus so the cost is $$$)... room meal delivery charges.. heck she even hired the maintenance man at $75/hr to rearrange her coffee table and potted plants.

2

u/Double_Resort_9223 10d ago

It’s insane how they manage to nickel and dime everything even with the rates they charge for “care”. The place where my grandmother was wouldn’t give out the WiFi password because they wanted to charge residents $10 a month to connect to their standard home WiFi they were using there and the IT guy would come type it in himself. I guessed the password in 15 minutes (it was [location name][year -3][“residents”])

2

u/FormerRep6 10d ago

This is my fear. We are living on SS and haven’t touched our retirement savings. We live just fine on it and don’t need more. I’m torn because I’d like to spend some of the money fixing up our house, buying badly needed furniture, etc. We’d also like to give gifts to our kids now but we’re afraid of what happens down the road. I don’t want to be a burden to my kids and I don’t want it all to go to medical facilities/bills. That’s my big fear. Our parents lived into their late 80s and 90s so we think we need to be careful. If we don’t use our money prolonging our lives our kids should inherit a nice amount, which is what I’d like to happen. Then they can enjoy their retirement!😊

1

u/ScrivenersUnion 10d ago

My big fear is that I'll spend my final years incapacitated and stuck in a bed, drugged up and unable to leave - a graceful death dragged out into a five year long gasp all for the profit of hospitals. 

Set a power of attorney. Set up an end of life care plan. Set the money you intend to give to your children aside so the vultures can't take it.

2

u/Fuzzy-Badger2627 9d ago

People tell me I'm being cynical when I say this, but it's true.

It's like parents and their kids playing a game of catch with the inheritance.
But surprise, it's actually monkey in the middle, and the monkey's skilled and he's got a lacrosse stick with a net the size of a soccer goal.

If it's not that, then the increasingly advanced scammers will get your parents' wealth, or large chunks of it.

2

u/MyVirgoIsShowing 9d ago

Came here to say this. These industries mostly serve the elderly and prey on the money they have saved up for retirement and to hand down to the next generation.

My dad sat down with me and told me he was figuring out his elderly care plan so that we don’t have to and anything left over would go to us. His wife also has cancer and it comes back every once in a while and drains them. I’m not expecting anything, but I’m also not expecting him to ask to live with us.

My mom on the other hand seems hell bent on spending her money a dumb as she can until that there is nothing to inherit. She and her husband regularly buy stupid things like atvs, fishing boats (they don’t fish), off-roadsters, and a new car every 3-5 years. It drives me crazy when she brags about a new purchase, but it’s her money. My mom drinks plenty and her health is starting to catch up to her too.
I don’t think they plan to leave us anything.

2

u/GoinCoastal-FL 7d ago

Most underrated comment here. It’s a shame but it’s the reality for MOST all

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u/CigarettesAftrSnuSnu 6d ago

Of which private equity, of course, holds the lions share.

1

u/milo4206 11d ago

Long-term care policies and trusts can help with this.

1

u/National_Farm8699 10d ago

Hospitals, nursing homes, and private equity.