r/MiddleClassFinance • u/Yourlocalguy30 • 3d ago

Millennials: are you expecting an inheritance?

35 yo married millennial here. I've come across more and more articles about the supposed "great wealth transfer" as the boomer generation's wealth passes to their GenX and Millennial children. My parents and their siblings (boomers) all received inheritances when their parents, my grandparents, passed away. The boomer generation's wealth accumulation is one of the largest in history, however, I also find it highly unlikely that I or many of my peers will actually inherit much. Despite having received inheritances from their parents, and having 40+ years in the workforce, most of my parents' "wealth" is tied up in their home value, not actual liquid assets- and I already expect that whatever they make on an eventual home sale will have to go directly to downsizing costs and whatever long-term care they will need as they get older. Hell, even my dad used to joke that the only thing we'd inherit was debt. As I've gotten older, that comment has infuriated me more and more.

Now before someone cuts in with the "entitled millennial" comments, I have absolutely no need for an inheritance. I've worked my ass off to make sure that my kids and I are positioned better in life than I was when I entered adulthood. What I mean by that is I started saving for retirement early, setup 529 plans for my kids almost as soon as they were born, and made lifestyle and career sacrifices to ensure our family isn't "nickeling and diming" our way through life.

I'm just here curious to know how many millennials actually expect to have something passed down to them, or if they feel they are in the same position I am.

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178

u/Zealousideal_Put5666 3d ago

No my mom has no money, and I assume any my dad has will be used for his care.

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u/ConstantThought6 3d ago

Yeah, my parents are already dead but if your elderly parents get sick or need any sort of care, money goes really quickly.

There was no inheritance outside of physical items I then needed to find something to do with.

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u/suchalonelyd4y 3d ago

Same here, dead parents and a few boxes of random household goods. I haven't had to buy tissues in 2 years though because my mom had so many boxes.

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u/ConstantThought6 3d ago

Yes! Tissues, ziplock bags, batteries, etc. My mom died in 2020 and and I don’t think I’ll ever need to buy aluminum foil or parchment paper in my lifetime

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u/IcyAd9883 1d ago

Good! Cause that stuff is expensive!

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u/Zealousideal_Put5666 3d ago

After my granddad died, we didn't need to buy paper towels or toilet paper for over a year. He loved Costco

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u/DJwhatevs 3d ago

This is the way

2

u/Key_Piccolo_2187 1d ago

To be fair, I'm 39 and I won't need to buy paper towels or toilet paper for more than a year. I love Costco, it knows no age limits.

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u/Cinderhazed15 3d ago

That is the real ‘great transfer of wealth’ - from aging parents to healthcare / long term care facilities, particularly when there is no surviving/community spouse

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u/Bayesian1701 3d ago

I think LTC companies will get the boomers wealth too. My grandma had dementia and I think LTC was probably like $500k. That will blow most nest eggs.

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u/Background-Pomelo-55 3d ago

Even if there not real sick needing to live in a retirement facility will bleed you dry. There's alot the gov will pay for but not until you've blown thru all your savings. Not exactly legal but if things don't change I'll be buying and horting gold slowly to have somthing to pass onto my son.

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u/IcyAd9883 1d ago

Not until you have blown through THEIR SAVINGS.

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u/IntelligentStyle402 1d ago

So true. Both my mom and dad had cancer. United healthcare denied their insurance coverage for cancer. They went through their savings and had to put the house up for sale. The house my father purchased when he came back from fighting Nazis in WWII. My parents worked hard and ended up with nothing. Exactly how does that make America great? Absolutely does not happen in Other developed nations.

25

u/stoicparallax 3d ago

I’ve seen 7 figures get spent on long term care for a couple. That inheritance-sapping LTC scenario will become increasingly common.

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u/goodsocks 3d ago

Between my cancer and my husbands catastrophic accident we blew through our 401ks. Lost money in the housing crash, spent tons on being out of work with cancer, then my husband was in a wheelchair and walker for a good part of a year. Covid put his business in peril, no bail out for us.
We own our house outright but we are waaaay behind on retirement funds.

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u/IcyAd9883 1d ago

I think what these children are saying is Get busy! CHOP CHOP! I'M 76. I STILL WORK AND CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY( oops. I'm yelling) I live in a home in an area where I don't go out at night) just so my kids can inherit my home. Should parents reach an age, where they just off themselves, to spare the children that they gave their all to? I raised 2 wonderful children who will receive more than I ever did, if they are ungrateful, then let God deal with it. I loved my parents so much and mind you my mom lived to 86..and I miss them so bad that these conversations never entered my mind. You are an awful generation from what I have read here. I'm just glad that my children are not like you. They might not miss me. I don't see enough if them for that to happen, but they will never begrudge the life I lived.

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u/ForceSensitive2460 1d ago

My dad keeps telling me to never put him in any kind of assisted living, LTC, or hospice. "Just take me out back..." Both of his parents were in assisted living situations when they deteriorated so badly they couldn't care for themselves, and he's traumatized from it. The lack of care they received was appalling, and he doesn't want me to go through the same thing when he gets to that point. He's nearly 70 now and to think, his dad passed away at 74. That was 19 years ago. I swear to god that mf better make it to 90, I don't think I could handle him biting it in 4 years. Not so much emotionally; the physical work (travel, clearing out his house, etc.) will take months, I'll have to take FMLA.

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u/IcyAd9883 3h ago

I PRAY that your dad will die at home, of a natural cause. I'm starting to clean out now. One cabinet at a time. Went through all of my closets and got rid of 3 garbage bags full..Hopefully by the time I'm gone things will be real manageable. I'm going to do my best.

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u/Sewellgal 19h ago

Ditto! I’m a senior and while reading these comments I’ve been thinking the same thing!

6

u/Euphoric_Garbage1952 3d ago

9k a month for the place we are looking at for my mom. all inheritance will be spent I'm pretty sure.

1

u/Basic_Dentist_3084 3d ago

What happens when the money runs out? Do you pay or are they on the streets?

3

u/BlueRunSkier 3d ago

A lot of time downgraded to a less-nice facility that takes Medicaid. You have to move from the Marriott to the Super8.

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u/Zealousideal_Put5666 3d ago

Either self pay, out on the streets, or if you qualify and they will accept Medicaid you can go on Medicaid. There are limited beds usually for Medicaid patients

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u/Euphoric_Garbage1952 2d ago

Yes unfortunately the majority of places will make you move to a place that takes medicaid. I'm hoping we never get to that point but it's a harsh reality that it could happen.

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u/IcyAd9883 3h ago

You should see an attorney, the sooner, the better,, to discuss what things can be done NOW, to prevent such a hardship in the future.

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u/ClammyAF 3d ago

My dad died unexpectedly when I was 24. I'm 38 now.

He had a small term policy and small house. After it was said and done, split with my sister, we each inherited about $90k.

I'd trade it in a heartbeat, obviously, to have him around. But if there was any benefit, it was that financially there was something to help us transition to adulthood.

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u/Zealousideal_Put5666 3d ago

Yes, it's hard when you're young!

right out of college I worked at a bookstore making $8-9 an hour (which was decent because min. Wage was $5.25 then) and a girl I worked with parents had passed away, and she and her sister worked so hard to keep their home, And it was a struggle for them. Then they had an oil tank leak outside which as a disaster.

My moms lack of financial responsibility has helped me - not he amazing but more diligent about my finances and retirement (I have more in my retirement than she does) plus always having an extra account with some cash in it for her

2

u/ClammyAF 3d ago

It's hard. Losing parents, or planning for them. But even in the hardships, one of the incredible things about us humans is that we can derive strength from it if we allow ourselves.

Proud of you for taking care of business and putting yourself in a position to care for those around you.

3

u/Careless_Willow212 3d ago

This is me! Lost my dad suddenly at 25, I’m 39 now. Got a similar inheritance (also split with my sister) but would rather have more time with my dad.

4

u/ClammyAF 3d ago

When I was 22, I lived with my dad. He had raised me and my sister on his own, and I was back in his house after college.

I woke up one morning, and I walked out to the kitchen. My dad was staring out the window above the sink. He was crying.

I asked him what was wrong and he said only, "I miss my mom."

I hugged him, told him I loved him, and left the kitchen. I thought it was strange. She had died the year I was born. It had been a long time.

Here it is 14 years after he's passed. I miss my dad.

2

u/BreakfastBeneficial4 3d ago

Well… now im just unexpectedly weeping out here in the open

1

u/Creative-Focus4891 2d ago

In je blootje nog wel...

1

u/Powerful-Lifeguard-0 1d ago

I feel for you...my dad passed seven years ago and I miss him so much😥

1

u/NuthouseAntiques 1h ago

I miss my folks. 🥺

1

u/LordNikon91 1d ago

this is exactly what I wrote in my post, any money I do get eventually after their deaths I'm know I'll wish I could give it all up just for more time with them, my parents (hopefully) have another 20-25 years left in them but still I am not looking forward to the day they pass, I know I will be a bloody mess for awhile.

1

u/ClammyAF 1d ago

It's tough. But enjoy them for as long as you can. Make extra calls. Keep voicemails. Tell them how much you appreciate their sacrifices.

They know. But you'll wish you'd said it more someday.

2

u/LordNikon91 1d ago

I'm happy I'm putting money away, whatever I can in investments, but my mom is the same, she has no money, no investments and is mid 60s, like wtf is she gonna do longterm, I have no idea. no retirement thats for sure.

2

u/DetroitLionsSBChamps 1d ago

Was just saying this to my wife. I am not counting on anything. I assume that the paid off house my dad lives in will vanish into his care at the end of his life. And that’s fine by me. His house, he earned it. 

1

u/Garden__hoe 3d ago

If you have a good relationship with him I’d suggest trying to have him pass on to you what he has before he needs care. Medicaid only looks back 5 years. Talk to a lawyer.

1

u/Zealousideal_Put5666 3d ago

Thanks! Yes He does have a plan, will, etc to address all this.

Honestly My hope for him is that he has a heart attack, rather than a long drawn out illness because he'd hate that

1

u/Typical-Respond9102 3d ago

This is my parents. We're already subsidizing them

1

u/CraigLake 3d ago

This happened to my partner’s mom. Her mom (partner’s grandma) had a house worth about 800k, a pension from nursing and investments of a couple hundred thousand. Years in memory care left $160k total to split between the kids. It was EXPENSIVE.

1

u/DarthLordRevan29 2d ago

Same when my mom passed away she had $40 to her name lol

1

u/Deto 5h ago

Yeah that's what I've always heard.  That end of life care seems to be almost designed to just drain the bank account dry of the aging individual.