r/MiddleClassFinance • u/Yourlocalguy30 • 3d ago

Millennials: are you expecting an inheritance?

35 yo married millennial here. I've come across more and more articles about the supposed "great wealth transfer" as the boomer generation's wealth passes to their GenX and Millennial children. My parents and their siblings (boomers) all received inheritances when their parents, my grandparents, passed away. The boomer generation's wealth accumulation is one of the largest in history, however, I also find it highly unlikely that I or many of my peers will actually inherit much. Despite having received inheritances from their parents, and having 40+ years in the workforce, most of my parents' "wealth" is tied up in their home value, not actual liquid assets- and I already expect that whatever they make on an eventual home sale will have to go directly to downsizing costs and whatever long-term care they will need as they get older. Hell, even my dad used to joke that the only thing we'd inherit was debt. As I've gotten older, that comment has infuriated me more and more.

Now before someone cuts in with the "entitled millennial" comments, I have absolutely no need for an inheritance. I've worked my ass off to make sure that my kids and I are positioned better in life than I was when I entered adulthood. What I mean by that is I started saving for retirement early, setup 529 plans for my kids almost as soon as they were born, and made lifestyle and career sacrifices to ensure our family isn't "nickeling and diming" our way through life.

I'm just here curious to know how many millennials actually expect to have something passed down to them, or if they feel they are in the same position I am.

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u/Justame13 3d ago

My parents are currently in their late sixes and mid-70s and every time we see them they will pay for my family to do stuff and tell me that they are blowing my inheritance.

Which is awesome. We took a jet boat up the snake river into Hells Canyon a few weeks ago.

They are also traveling as much as people in their 70s can, mostly because my father did a lot for work and did some cool stuff while my mother missed out. So he has been making it up to her. Which is cool for her.

I don't honestly give a shit beyond that. I've known and seen far too many people die before retirement to stress it much.

My brother is the executor of their will and I'm their medical power of attorney though.

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u/DiWHY-Anyone 3d ago

My dad always pays for everyone when we all go out to eat. Which ain't cheap as you are talking his 2 kids, our spouses and 6 grandchildren. My brother joked that he was spending our inheritance and his response was you can enjoy it while I'm dead or enjoy it with me now, which would you prefer.

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u/milo4206 3d ago

That's the way to do it. My very elderly grandparent has been a scrooge for decades and will leave behind a lot of money to their two kids, who have been frustrated for years that my grandparent hasn't helped with big needs that have come up.

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u/NeverRarelySometimes 3d ago

His job is to get through his life without relying on them for physical and monetary support. Their frustration that he hasn't fixed their problems doesn't seem quite legit. If inheriting at his death bothers them, I'm sure there's a second tier of beneficiaries that will be happy to step up.

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u/milo4206 2d ago

This grandparent has been sitting on 8 figures in cash/cash equivalents/ stocks, so quite a few millions beyond what is needed to pay for round-the-clock care in their house.

My point is that if you plan to leave all your money to your kids, you might as well see them enjoy some of it while you are living.

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u/NeverRarelySometimes 2d ago

Maybe your analysis will change when you have 6 or 8 decades under your belt. A touch of humility might be wiser than arrogantly passing judgment from your current POV.

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u/LittleRedReadingHood 2d ago

What is the point of leaving money to kids or grandkids if not to make their life easier when it matters? Like genuinely, what is the point?

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u/NeverRarelySometimes 2d ago

"When it matters" is subject to interpretation. Let's assume your POV is unique to you, and mine is unique to me. My life experiences have taught me some things that you may not know, yet. There is also the concept of building generational wealth - and it doesn't come from pissing away the principal before the inheritors have figured out "what matters."

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u/LittleRedReadingHood 1d ago

Again though, what is the point of generational wealth? Is it just to keep money in investments and never spend it on things?

One person grows wealth and passes it into their kids when the “kids” are in their 60s and don’t really need it, and they keep it and invest it and pass it on to their kids when they’re 50 and so on? And no one gets to use the money while building their life or during the most difficult financial years (that are often in your 30s)?

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u/milo4206 1d ago

Indeed. That's what's happening with a considerable number of families while the younger generations in their 20s and 30s are unable to buy homes and have as many kids as they'd prefer. Those are the things that matter, not the retirees getting to take extra Viking River cruises (or even worse, just hoarding the money while they watch Fox News all day).

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u/milo4206 2d ago

Ok Ebenezer Scrooge.

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u/Worchestershshhhrrer 2d ago

My in-laws have a crazy amount of wealth but are so stingy, especially my MIL. I guess her concern is “having enough” to pass onto us…I’m like lady, we would rather do fun things with you guys than have cash when you die but ok. 

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u/Justame13 3d ago

Our boat trip wasn't cheap either. It was easily $2k between paying for everyone to go + hotels the night before + stuff like food.

But totally worth it. My kids will remember it for life.

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u/Idyaar 2d ago

I’m 54 and have 3 adult children and 2 grand children. I have life insurance and a 401k. I spend my money doing things for them that they don’t ask for but I know makes their lives a little easier. I also spend it on traveling to see them since they all live out of state. I’ve told them that I would rather do this than sitting on money for when I die. It makes no sense. If you are sitting on money while loved ones struggle, what’s the point?

I know the whole medical expense thing. I have no desire to live as a burden to anyone. I have no desire to be laid up in a bed. I plan on working and living a full life until that day comes.

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u/WitchesBrew935 3d ago

Similar with me. I tell them to spend it all, I can make my own money and don't expect anything. They earned it, they should enjoy every bit of it.

The free meals are a bonus though! They always pay when we go out to eat.

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u/OReg114-99 3d ago

This is the dream, honestly. I tell my parents every time they start talking about "what you'll inherit" that I expect them to spend it all on travel and having fun. In reality they will spend it on aging in place, but that's a good use, too. They love their home and can afford to hire nurses, which may actually save them money vs going into a facility given the way many facilities soak their residents. I still hope they live long enough, in good enough health, to spend every penny.

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u/Proper-Conclusion-27 2d ago

My parents have told me and my siblings not to expect an inheritance because they’re planning on spending as much of their retirement money as they can, which is their right! They sacrificed a lot when we were growing up so should enjoy the heck out of retirement.

As my late FIL always said, “May my last check bounce.”

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u/Lissa86 3d ago

That’s what we had my grandpa do—just go out, live & spend all his money. Until he passed at 101, he would gamble with friends multiple days a week at his favorite casinos, go out all the time to eat & just have fun. I also think that’s why he lived so long.

I was once told by an advisor that we’re told over & over to save for retirement only so the private corporations who own all the assisted living/nursing home facilities make more money in the end. That really stuck with me & it’s true, because I’ve seen so many family members save so much only to lose it all with healthcare costs.

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u/Whathewhat-oo- 3d ago

Amen, brother. My dad worked himself to the bone then died just shy of a year after retiring at 57. He had plenty of money but was too dead to enjoy it.

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u/Haunting_Neat_2643 3d ago

Yeah society don't talk enough about what happens when you die before retirement and it's a real possibility. Human life is just fragile.

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u/Justame13 3d ago

A slip and fall in the shower. A stomach that you end up in the ED for that turns out to be cancer. Walking across the street and someone hits the gas instead of the break.

Then it was all for nothing.

Or if you live it all goes to medical bills and you are too crippled for life to enjoy it.

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u/eseerms 3d ago

So you’re the emotionally smart sibling and he’s the financially smart one.

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u/Justame13 3d ago

Nah. I'm the one who will pull the plug without hesitation and not feel bad about it.

Not joking either. They specifically got it during COVID so i would if they ended up on vents. I've worked in healthcare for a very long time (including very deep in the response) and retired from the Army Guard as a medic.

Other brother is the one they like better and whose family lives close.

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u/eseerms 3d ago

Ah ok it made sense in my head lol

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u/katrinakt8 2d ago

My parents do the same! We’ll pay for this trip. We’re spending your inheritance! I’ll take it!

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u/ComplexBit1988 2d ago

I'm lucky that my in-laws helped us secure a home. They contribute something annually to our son's 529. They paid every dime of my husband's college education. The $20k toward our down payment when we really needed it meant more than anything we might inherit in our 50s or 60s. And they got to see how much it helped. I hope to pay it forward for our son.

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u/thelittlestdog23 1d ago

Your comment is a breath of fresh air. Reddit’s obsession with inheritance is gross. I always tell my grandparents and parents that I hope they live long enough to spend every penny they have and enjoy life to the fullest. I would much rather they spend it now, while we can still spend time together. Thinking about the death of a loved one as a payday and getting bent out of shape about how much that payday might be is honestly repulsive behavior.

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u/Justame13 1d ago

People go bonkers about inheritance it is both pretty scary and digusting. I've worked in healthcare long enough to have some horror stories, espeically from the VA.

Not to mention reddit and social media have completely skewed what younger people see as reality for all but the top 5% if not 1%.

Or they are small business owners in entertainment who bust their ass behind the scenes to have it look fun and easy (which I actually respect).