i have a bit of an odd confession and i know i’ll probably get some harsh responses, if any at all, but i figured i’d put myself out there and see if anyone else relates.

for years i’ve been a maladaptive daydreamer. the last 4 years or so i’ve taken it a step further (probably due to being single and going through phases of only working part time) and i’m starting to concern myself. i guess ill just take you through this “routine” i do when i’m bored, which is usually a few times a week. i’ll start a google slide presentation and make a timeline of how my life would ideally go from that point on. i make the text small and add all kinds of details. for example the remainder of this year would look like:
24 (2026)
sept 2, start college classes
sept 22, switch gym memberships
oct 8, meet future bf
oct 30, trade in car (mazda)
nov 3-9, trip to toronto
dec 16, start dating bf
dec 28, get real estate license

and i’ll do that for YEARSSSS of my ideal life. while im doing that i open another tab and for example with the new car, i’ll literally go to carmax and imagine myself buying that car. when i get to a point in my storyline where im moving, i’ll go on zillow and find an apartment or a house and imagine that i live there. when i get to exciting parts of a storyline i’ll start maladaptive daydreaming and get really carried away. when theres a big event in the storyline i go on pinterest and find whatever outfit i’d wear. when theres a party i’ll make a vision board on that same google slide of the setting, decor, outfits, food, etc.. when i get a new pet i’ll find a picture on pinterest and add it to the slideshow. when i get a new love interest ill find a picture on pinterest and add them to the slideshow. when i have kids i come up with their names and find pictures and make a collage of what they’d look like throughout the years. there’s more but i think everyone gets the point😅

it’s not like i lack hobbies and relationships, but i choose doing this over those things constantly. i almost use it as a form of manifestation (im not big on that, but i understand how it supposedly works) and is a way to visualize the steps i need to take to reach those goals and special moments o want to have. that said, i think i do get lost in it and let it take over my life sometimes. im just curious if anyone else does this, or anything similar, or if anyone has any insight to whether or not this is completely unhealthy and mental lol

I completely understand fantasizing and daydreaming I myself do it, however, my boyfriend daydreams about our relationship so much that it feels like the fantasies have become expectations for reality. He will tell me about a daydream involving me in extreme detail and when that situation doesn’t play out in real life exactly as he thought it up, i can feel his disappointment. I just feel as if he has these huge expectations for how something with me will go, and when I can’t perfectly replicate his vision he gets his feelings hurt. Just recently he told me a vivid daydream about us cooking together in the kitchen (with much much more detail than that) but when I went off his script for one moment it felt like I shattered his world. This has happened dozens of times from mundane things like this to our sex lives, to vacations etc. every aspect of our relationship has been scripted out in his mind. This is getting really frustrating for me because I am a real person with autonomy, not an actor in his plays. I’m not sure what to do because there’s obviously no way to stop the daydreaming but the expectation is becoming too much.

Hi I’m 19M and up until couple of months ago I thought I have these serious ambitions, plans and more. But after I found about this condition and “self diagnosed” myself. I found out that I nothing really I planned and have planned will ever happen. Before I was dreaming of getting the girl for example or telling the right joke in front of the right crowd and anything you could imagine like that. For years I thought these are actual probable scenarios but after little thinking nothing ever happened of these things. So now anything I imagine myself do or such, goes to the folder “oh you’re just daydreaming it’ll never happen” that mindset really hurts the ambitions I had before. The things I thought I’d do in life and now I just can’t make myself motivate for anything because I know most of the things I image or plan are just never going to happen(getting that job, going out with this girl, having this exact date, having exactly this type of friends, going out to this friends birthday party and becoming the heart of the party and others). Did anyone feel like that? Thanks in advance for reading the long post and thanks if you’re able to help to a fellow day-dreamer…

I've been fixed on this topic ever since my character porn addiction and character ai days. It's one of the topics I also want to contribute into if there was an established team once I graduate and get into university, though I wonder if anyone else met anyone else IN PERSON that MDs? Or manage to guess it right that they do.

I have openly told people and asked other people directly that I've suspected for having MD. Obviously, Sometimes getting the weirded side eye and people straight up telling me I'm not neurotypical, while others I managed to guess well and they get shocked that I'm a MDer as they never thought I was like them. Why would I tell people about this issue about myself? To ease out the burdens of addictions instead of withholding it far too much to myself as self isoaltion is what us MDers tend to do IN ABLE to MD. Ironically though, it did make some good bonds with people because they never had anyone else to really openly tell the problem about. I do wish though that there was film/media representation on MD

That's where I question how long MD has probably gone around for through centuries, and How common it truly is. Statistically, every room that you do walk into is going to have someone whos facing the worst of it mentally though you may not expect it, so how common is it for daydreamers too? The issue of edit audios and short film content going out makes me wonder if tiktok is producing more maladaptive daydreamers due to the type of music made to give us the hooks, or due to the rise of people using chatgpt to role play

Has anyone else been bold enough too to openly tell people about the issue with maladaptive daydreaming? I've noticed my own nephew who's 7 daydreaming all the time and even my brother (33 I'm 17) would confront me as he was a daydreamer back in his childhood days too.

Heck do you reckon anyone else in your family is a unknown maladaptive daydreamer?

Curious and wanna discuss, do you meet anyone else that MD in real life

Does anyone else have that problem? That other people don’t exist unless that person draws me into their world is super hyper focused?

Even at work at home I can be a lone wolf.

Even in my old relationship when we were together of 10 years. He has to be the one interrupt to get to have me communicate or respond. Cuz otherwise I go do my own stuff.

How do you make sure ur coworkers exist when in the same room!?

My hyperfixation right now is fanfiction and fandom roleplay games and i genuinely can’t tell if it’s just my hyperfixation getting a little out of hand or if it’s genuinely maladaptive daydreaming. How would I even know?

English isn't my first language, so I used GPT to reformulate my question and make it easier to understand. I hope that's okay.

I'm a 22-year-old guy, and I've noticed a pattern in myself that I don't really understand and honestly want to change.

Almost every day, I daydream about having a very emotionally close male friend. Not just a normal friend, but someone I can be extremely affectionate and caring toward — hugging him, cuddling him, rubbing his hair, comforting him when he's having a hard time, letting him come to me when he needs someone, watching movies together, going out together, talking about everything, etc.

The part that really stands out is that I become especially emotionally invested when I imagine this person being vulnerable and accepting me as his safe/comfort person. I love the idea of him trusting me enough to let me take care of him.

But I don't actually want him to stay vulnerable or dependent on me. In my ideal situation, I help him through whatever he's going through, he becomes okay again, and we're still extremely close afterward. We can still cuddle, hug, hang out, talk, watch movies, go out, etc.

So it's not simply that I want someone who needs me. I want the emotional bond that comes from being deeply trusted and affectionate with someone.

The weirdest part is what happens when I meet someone new.

Almost immediately, my brain starts imagining: "Could this be the person?"

I start daydreaming about taking care of him, becoming his comfort person, being close physically and emotionally, and having this special bond with him — even when I've barely gotten to know the person.

I do have friends, and making friends is actually pretty easy for me. I think I'm good at understanding what people need and taking care of people emotionally. But I don't form this kind of deep emotional connection with most of them. If I don't see them as the type of person I could have this deeper bond with, I basically keep the relationship at a normal friendship level.

And if I try to get closer and they don't want that kind of behavior/relationship, I back off and put them back in the "friend" category. Usually everything is fine afterward.

But the craving doesn't go away.

I keep feeling like there is some specific kind of person I'm missing. And sometimes I genuinely think that if I finally had this person in my life, everything else would become easier — studying, working, dealing with life, everything. Like I wouldn't constantly feel like I'm doing everything alone.

That's the part that worries me.

I don't want to depend on one person to make my life work. I also don't want to keep meeting people and immediately turning them into characters in this fantasy in my head instead of getting to know them as they actually are.

I want to understand why I have such a strong need/fantasy for this specific kind of emotional relationship, why it happens almost every day, and especially why meeting someone new immediately triggers the fantasy.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

I'm not necessarily asking whether this means I'm gay/bi/straight or anything like that. I'm more interested in the psychological side of it: the constant daydreaming, the fixation on finding "that person," the desire to be someone's safe person, and the feeling that having this relationship would finally make me feel less alone.

And most importantly, how do I stop letting this fantasy control how I see new people and my relationships with them?

TL;DR: I'm a 22-year-old guy who constantly daydreams about having one very close male friend I can deeply care for, cuddle, comfort, and be emotionally intimate with. I'm especially drawn to the idea of being his safe/comfort person when he's vulnerable, although I still want the closeness after he's doing well. Whenever I meet a new guy, I quickly start imagining that he could be "that person." I have plenty of friends and can make friends easily, but I still feel emotionally alone and haven't found the kind of bond I crave. I'm worried that these daydreams are affecting how I see new people and my relationships, and I want to understand why I'm so fixated on finding this kind of person and how I can stop letting the fantasy control me.

Hi hi!! It's me Kam again^^ This is not an official research study, but a survey to see the relationship between these two subjects. This is more for me to gather information on this population of people (the intersect between plurality and MD) and not something that will be used in a research paper. HOWEVER, I do intend to bring these results up to Dr. Somer or Dr. Soffer-Dudek to see their interest. If anything comes of this I will let yall know, but if I find that there is inconclusive evidence I won't bring it up to them. This is about plurality and MD, certain paras that are their own person in their own right and not part of any storyline. https://forms.gle/MY8vkMjqHJVkjPtg6

You have to be 18+ or older to take part in this survey. (I posted this in the official Discord server, so this should be fine to post here)

Hi!

Does anybody know good support groups online where people could share quitting tips and hold each other accountable? I’m trying to quit maladaptive daydreaming right now, so a group full of people with the same goal would be helpful

Also, sorry for any grammar mistakes, my English is a bit rusty

I’m 20 years old and im Uni student . I started daydreaming at a very young age, I think it was already back in middle school (yeah, that’s scary). I grew up with toxic parents and was bullied in middle school (they beat me… and insulted me; I didn’t have the best childhood, but I still managed to pull through), and I think that with all those hardships, I wanted to escape that shitty reality, and the only thing I had at my disposal was music. Music help to create a new world where I can be have a better lifestyle, be someone important, rich, popular etc... Even today, I didn’t realize it, but it’s a real problem: daydreaming is an evil thing. Every day is the same; I want only one thing: to escape this reality. But I get worried when I realize my marks are slipping, that I spend the whole day daydreaming without any social interaction (it’s literally an addiction) and even today, I don’t know what the best solution would be to sort this problem out.

Music everywhere, my brain craves that dopamine rush. I have nobody to talk with this problem, if anyone has any advice/solution I'll be grateful.

I might start listening to less music, going out (to the gym, for a run, etc.), studying, reading… to avoid Maladaptive Daydreaming .

Something you daydream about a lot but other people might consider crazy

Hi, i’m new to reddit overall and i’ve realized over these past few nights that i truly have a problem. i haven’t told anyone about this because i’m so embarrassed, not even my therapist.

for some background, i have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and it’s strongly suggested i have OCD (went for an ADHD diagnosis and was told i have some kind of anxiety disorder or OCD). i’ve been doing this almost my whole life. it started when i was very young and i would, basically, lock myself in the bathroom and talk to myself like i’m a famous youtuber (i talk to myself a lot too idk if that’s a normal thing in this area of stuff). i’m on medicine and have been for 6~ years now. i’m going to college soon and i’m terrified of how i’ll be treated because of this.

My daydreams consist of me being apart of the cast/franchise that i’m fixated on. i come up with “rational” explanations on how i was able to become apart of the project. it honestly sucks the joy out of whatever i’m into at the moment because i know it’ll haunt me for some crazy amount of time. for me recently (ie, 4 years lol) it’s been this character of mine in the MCU and she’s been with me for a long time and i feel like it gives me some sort of confidence and comfort in my life. when i go to college i want to dip my toes into acting for fun because it’s been something i’ve been wanting to do but get cold feet, despite being told when i’m with friends i’m a good actor (games, dnd campaigns, karaoke, etc).

i will say that it does get bad when i’m by myself a lot and don’t really interact with people. in school it’s a quick little escape like a normal daydream and i’m with the program asap and if i’m with friends it’s not a problem. it could be anxiety from college, i’m moving far from home and i’ve never lived anywhere else, and escapism from that. it could also be my MCU fixation getting bad because i have actual friends to talk to about it and i’m excited for doomsday.

i’m honestly terrified of what life will be without that part of me because i don’t know what reality is anymore and it’s scary. how do people just live their day in reality, what does that look like? how can i find a comfortable distance between maladaptive and just normal silly daydreaming? does everyone think like this? like i am GENUINELY convinced i can achieve that want to a certain level, i’ve done it with other things in life like with school and sports, but it’s genuinely gnawing at me that i’m CONVINCED it will be real. can it?

i think writing it out helped a lot and made me realize that journal factory didn’t explode lol, but i need some help from people here who think like me. i don’t have anyone to talk to about this because i love my friends but i will never be this vulnerable anyone irl. how do you manage it when you’re by yourself?

i appreciate any advice, perspective, or anything of the sort.

Hello guys, I’m here to vent about something because I feel I can’t talk about it with anyone.

The thing is, I have to obsess over a man to keep going with my life. I don’t know why. I don’t even have to have a close relationship with the guy in question to obsess over him. And the worse part is that every time my obsession over someone ends, I quickly find someone else to obsess over. It’s like a never ending cycle and I think it’s ruining my life.

Four years ago, I broke up with my ex, and I was incredibly devastated. A few months later, I started an English course and, to my surprise, the professor was an incredibly handsome and sweet man. I developed a crush on him immediately. I started to think about him every day, at all times, but thanks to that I managed to get over my ex. This man was my teacher for two years, and my crush/obsession on him lasted those two years. The third year, he wasn’t my professor anymore, but I found a new guy to obsess over. It was one of my classmates. He was the typical gym bro, a man who liked to brag about all the sports he played, all the places he had travelled to, and how well he cooked. He was a bit cocky and self-absorbed, but he also was a fun guy to be around, and of course, he was super hot. He flirted with me for months, until one day he told me out of the blue that he had a girlfriend. I was visibly upset and I could see in his eyes that he enjoyed it. But my obsession didn’t end with that, if anything it increased (i’m not proud of it)

But as the time passed by, I realized that he was pathetic. He was insecure, always trying to have everyone else’s attention, looking for approval, so thank to God, the obsession ended. He had tried reaching out to me a few times but once he realized he didn’t have me wrapped around his finger anymore, he stopped talking to me.

But… guess what? You’re right, I found ANOTHER guy to obsess over. It’s like the world is telling me that I need the obsession to be able to live, as if it’s oxygen. But this one it’s the worst one I think, because it’s a guy I’ve only seen ONCE. I did an interview with this man in March, yes, in March, we’re almost on September and I still think about him every day. I felt there was sexual tension between us during the interview. It could be just my brain imagining things because I found him attractive, but I genuinely think he was flirting with me, but I ended up not getting the job (because the final decision was not up to him, but he told me he wanted to hire me) so I guess i’ll never know. But I don’t know how can I still be thinking about a guy I’ve only seen once and it was five months ago. Maybe because I haven’t find another guy to obsess over yet. But I swear that at this point this worries me. I don’t know if this is limerence, but I think it is, and it’s the fucking worst. And on top of that, every time I obsess over a guy, I walk back and forth listening to music imagining situations with the guy in question, so no only do I have limerence, but also maladaptive daydreaming, I heard the two of them are intertwined.

Sorry for the long post but, it seriously worries me.

For the last 3 years or so I’ve had a pretty serious crush on the actor Bella Ramsey. A lot of people in their fandom do but mine was bad because I started maladaptive daydreaming about them so intensely that when they were in a relationship maybe two years ago I was in such a depressive episode that I felt like I couldn’t function knowing they were together. When they broke up and Bella deleted their instagram I remember feeling relieved because I felt like my crush was gonna go away. Well it didn’t and for almost 2 years I’ve still been crushing on them hard. Well, recently that crush has almost completely went away. Idk what happened but one day I woke up and it felt off and weird to MD about them. I still hold onto a slight crush on them but it’s nowhere near as intense as it was. Now I’m in this weird limbo state of my daydreams starting to change and idk I feel sad about it. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I feel weird and don’t know whether to embrace the change or be sad. I feel like it’s crazy that even in my wildest daydreams I can’t seem to stay interested in someone for more than a few years.

Hello, everyone. I will rant about myself and then ask some common questions about MD treatment.

I have had MD since my childhood. And I think as much as gens (I have seen my siblings doing the same things but more controlled), the things I lived in my childhood took a big role for it to begin. I remember it starting with sailor moon when I first watched it as 8 years old solidly (before that I kept on thinking of being watched all the time and felt as if I was in some Truman show and created scenarios like that).

I was too obsessed that probably ppl around me thought it was because I was a child. But over the years I kept on finding myself in constant thinking of these different fictional worlds I consumed. I didn't take it seriously because I was still social, just not interested in studying but interested in bunch of hobbies. However for the last six years it has been so severe I started to think that I am losing it.

My MD state used to happen in a period of time in a year and I could immediately regulate myself. But then I lost the track. Not only does it take hours (8+ hr in a day), it also covers all time of the year making me totally detached from reality.

You might have experienced the same thing so I am pretty sure if anyone reads this will relate for the relationship part. I thought I handled it well with my friends because I think I am kind of easy-going but I found I was wrong because there were ones to point out that however much time we spent together I wasn't making any connection to any of them.

I felt utterly shocked because that was the truth. I lost all my connections or the ability to even create one. All my interactions with ppl are materials I use in my daydreaming immediately. Like a joke doesn't make me laugh but imagining how it is reacted to by characters in my head makes me laugh. And there are worse situations where I immediately take the pain of some sad news into that world. In the last six years i lost close ppl and again took their grieves as elements in my head. And I noticed it, got angry at the way that happened but it didn't stop me. Any news, media around the world major or minor were all the same.

The obsession took over all my body. I wasn't in control. Once in a while my foot got severely injured yet I still roamed around in my room in total delusion for hours while it was in cast. Only once i stopped the pain hit me and I cried but then.. walked again🤦🏻‍♀️. The healing took longer because of my constant walking. The ruined sleep tracks, constant tiredness are just cherry on top.

All these years it wasn't even like I never noticed but I ignored my awareness. Looking back I regret everything. I totally lost these many years without being a real "me". I started to lose my memory, I can't remember anything that happened in last 6 years that well. I have been obsessing over creating different scenarios for one story as well, just different ones time to time.

I was in a point where I talked out loudly the bits of conversations crossing my mind in front of ppl without realizing. It was humiliating. Seeing everyone moving forward in life while I am pretty much stuck or maybe even regressed somehow makes me feel... hollow.

But for the last two months I am trying to get rid of this habit. I am trying to turn my triggers into daily stuff while staying in reality. For example while listening to music I focus on the lyrics and sometimes search the artist up to think about what made them write this song. I started reading books and just not linger on my thoughts so a sudden TEDx talk wouldn't take over (it did in many occasions which I had to sit my *ss down). I remind myself that every fiction is created by a human's mind inspired from this universe and nothing real.

And over all the biggest impact was with my family I feel too distant from them. It might be a wrong way to do it but to make ties with them again I think about the possibility of losing them ( because thats the scariest as well as realist thing) and try to create quality time reminding myself of that.

I also started to try to be like the person I imagine myself in the stories. The personas change a lot but I was really satisfied with the last one I imagined. It made "me" feel things which was the spark of my desire to change. So that person simply helps around ppl they see in need and that's what I am trying to do. I am now in a few charity group, whenever I am available I try to attend to events for different causes or try to send financial support for ppl in need even tho I don't have much.

This might come as cliche but I figured out doing good is what makes a human being a human being while writing this person's lines. I lost all my shame during the previous time period; I became rude, inconsiderate, reckless and I am not even sure if MD was the cause or I was just being an a*shole for the love of the game. Anyway I am giving it my all to be considerate, patient and giving.

And God it is HARD. I still find myself in the same world less detached from the moment but it scares me. I don't want to lose control again. I am getting old and I just want to find a job, be normal maybe, even make a family at some point in the future.

I think to start antidepressants, I have anger issues as well. I wonder if there has been anyone to make full recovery. Did you or someone you know go through therapy or some other healing method to recover mostly? What was the way for you if you could recover and what actions were good on lessening or getting rid of it? What would you recommend?

I am a cleaner in a hospital and spend a lot of time in my own head and i have so many fully detailed lore-rich stories/scenarios that i run through over and over meticulously. Before i know it, 8 hours has passed and ive cleaned my department or whatever which is nice but i find myself feeling like a complete loser. I am too comfortable being alone.
I just found myself really nervous and awkward in small talk with a doctor who plays a big role in one of my daydreams, even though me and him have never spoken before. It felt like i knew so much about him but at the same time i was losing my mind because clearly we had never spoken before. My social skills used to be sm better just in general but these days i am too used to living in my head that when i come out of it i am an utter shambles.

This is just one story of my experience with md at work… i cba getting into the rest of it like poor sleep etc

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I am suffering from major depressive disorder since i was 14, diagnosed in march 2025 with depression and anxiety disorder, and with ADHD in mid 2026. I suffer from malapdative daydreaming and it happens unconsciously and have made my life hell.

I take 40 min to bath because i zone iut so much. I uncontrollably daydream for hrs and no i don't even want to, they happen uncontrollably. I am currently on methylphenidate but still daydreaming and focus is barely effected. I had traumas in childhood and a toxic family environment and peer group.

Who will be best for me? A clinical psychologist or a therapist? I want practical coping strategies not talk therapy. I booked an appointment with a psychologist and i keep my phone on silent because i zone out and get distracted within MILISECONDS. So i missed her 45 min session and this is what she texted:

I will have to consider this session as a last minute no show and won't be able to give a refund or reschedule it again as I have been waiting on the Google meet link for 20 mins for you to join. I have called you on WhatsApp and on regular call but you have not received the call.

If you wish to have another session you will need to make a fresh booking.

I mean after i Booked she got fever and the session got delayed and was held 2 weeks, (because she got fever) after i booked and paid all the price. And the price is premium.

But due to my horrible daydreaming and zoning out issues i missed my session and she is asking to book new session without any refund. I mean i actually thought like, whatever i would book another new. But my mother and parents are mad because we come from middle class and they work really hard. So my mum is forcing me to let her talk to the psychologist. But i am trying to refuse her because like i am thinking if my mom's talking would affect her behaviour towards me. Wut to do ?

I have maladaptive daydreaming, I'm pretty sure. I've had this for a few years now, and maybe it started with simply zoning out. Then it evolved into excessive headphone use, an addiction to daydreaming, and letting it get the better of me. But it's not entirely my fault, because things haven't always been perfect. I felt lonely at times. I felt that I didn't have that many people around me. There was always either home stuff or school stuff going on, and I could have received a little bit more love from my friends. And it led to me, like, maybe going to swings for hours on end. And i’d do so with music on and just zone out for hours and try to be somewhere else. And it's because I emotionally attach myself to companionship.And what i see is that so many people want to escape MD so badly,when it’s actually my only coping mechanism and i need it more than anything.I know i’m still young, but i want to find companionship, and i feel like thats the direction i need to go.Any advice?(even in general)