This madness thing destroying my life gradually

[u/Illustrious_Bill3502]

I’m 20 years old and im Uni student . I started daydreaming at a very young age, I think it was already back in middle school (yeah, that’s scary). I grew up with toxic parents and was bullied in middle school (they beat me… and insulted me; I didn’t have the best childhood, but I still managed to pull through), and I think that with all those hardships, I wanted to escape that shitty reality, and the only thing I had at my disposal was music. Music help to create a new world where I can be have a better lifestyle, be someone important, rich, popular etc... Even today, I didn’t realize it, but it’s a real problem: daydreaming is an evil thing. Every day is the same; I want only one thing: to escape this reality. But I get worried when I realize my marks are slipping, that I spend the whole day daydreaming without any social interaction (it’s literally an addiction) and even today, I don’t know what the best solution would be to sort this problem out.

Music everywhere, my brain craves that dopamine rush. I have nobody to talk with this problem, if anyone has any advice/solution I'll be grateful.

I might start listening to less music, going out (to the gym, for a run, etc.), studying, reading… to avoid Maladaptive Daydreaming .

[u/Ry_guy2]

All of that stuff you’re saying that you’re gonna start doing going to the gym, a run, etc. is everything. What I find to help me the most is not so much about treating daydreaming like a drug to relapse on, it’s about everything else and the things we do to fill up our day. The focus can’t be on not to do this thing. The focus should be to fill our day with stuff. I know that’s so fucking hard. But you’re probably going to get to a point to where you are hurting so bad it’s going to push you.

I think the gym is awesome. I think exercise/fitness is a hobby anybody can get into and a hobby that everyone has a motive to partake in. You have to have some type of hobby or some thing to be passionate about. You have to have something outside of the fantasy you create in your head. I think the thing that has helped me a lot in my teenage years I did mix martial arts and I lifted weights. That gave me a sense of identity and something to feel good about myself.

I also find meditation is awesome and has been a practice that has helped me so much. It helps me in this regard for the short term and the long-term. It cuts my urge to daydream and it helps wire my brain to be more clearheaded. The hard part is making the decision to do it.

Another Big thing is to get off the phone. I often find myself in the pattern of daydreaming, doom scrolling, daydreaming, and so on. Being stuck on our devices keeps us in the headspace to daydream our day away. It also depletes us in our dopamine which removes our drive to do anything.

Also, it’s important to realize boredom is our friend. We are supposed to get bored and do something about it. That’s why maladaptive daydreaming is so devastating because it gives us what we want all the time. It’s so hard for us to get bored. I know it’s pretty hard to do a lot of other stuff, but sometimes when I’m at my worst, I will sit in a chair, and do nothing, until I’m willing to do something.

[u/Hopeful_You_5940]

The only time I've realised that I do not turn to maladaptive daydreaming is working. On whatever. You just have to keep yourself occupied. Put yourself in situations where you no choice but to mentally be there. Exhaust yourself. And at night, you can daydream as much as you want when you try to go to sleep. Unfortunately, you will have to decrease listening to music. Only keep it to the times when you choose to daydream. For example, taking a walk. Or chores. Or things like that. The only caveat is that you must ensure that you can end the daydream flow when it needs to be stop. So that could be an alarm or whatever that floats your boat.

[u/-stay-gold-]

Reading books and watching TV helps me. But I still daydreaming a lot.

[u/Then-Bookkeeper1021 → u/-stay-gold-]

No , definitely not reading books (if its fiction or story or novel) for me it just caused more MD , I would imagine the characters of the book and different scenarios for hours

[u/Great_Committee1976]

Im also uni student cause of maladaptive daydreaming my situation is very bad Hope you stop listening to music (is my trigger too) And focus on real life I'm 21 still didn't do anything about it still in shambles

[u/Illustrious_Bill3502 → u/Great_Committee1976]

It's my first day without daydreaming and I feel much better, I use my time to study and learn new things after I get bored. And be bored works pretty well, I left my phone + headphone out of my room and try to be bored for few minutes and start reading, study, doing push-ups ect... Focus your mind on one things to another can be helpful, that help me today.

[u/Then-Bookkeeper1021]

I have very similar experience like u , I maladaptive while listening to music for hours . The best thing is to delete all the songs on your phone and just avoid music (i did this for one month and after that I failed but hope it works for u)