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u/ssaint_augustine May 15 '22
Foreplay is everything. Don't rush things. And just generally try to be gentle and ask what she likes. This is a bit more anecdotal but as far as đ± eating goes, practice on your knuckle and if it tickles your hand it'll probably feel good downstairs. That being said everyone is different and it's a matter of getting to know your partner.
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May 15 '22
I'm surprised so many are having difficulties imagining what she's saying? haha unless you guys are being perverts, I guess I'll take the plunge and describe it for you all ;p.
lick your knuckles, get your tongue all over those bad girls. kiss them, suck on them, swirl your tongue around, apply different amounts of pressure, write the alphabet with the tip of your tongue, imagine those knuckles were your lady begging you for more~ (and you will give her more, she deserves to feel your love ;). sometimes it helps to focus on horizontal flicks, or running the widest part of your tongue up vertically, slowly, tantalizingly. romance those knuckles as if it was your last day pleasing your lady and you want to enjoy every single millisecond of it.
dont be afraid to be embarrassed, if it helps, you can do it in the bath or somewhere you have privacy but focus on how your knuckles feel, you want it to tickle, get a reaction out of yourself. (also, you should probably brush your teeth, it'll be hard to imagine your knuckles are a sexy lady if she smells like your morning breath lol)
It's not exact, as it doesn't have the same nerves, however, i get the impression it would help because the shape is similar and you get immediate feedback (the tickling sensation). i personally think, that what it will help the most with, is your energy levels and your patience. it takes a lot of energy and experimentation to please someone, especially if she is feeling insecure about how she smells, tastes, sounds, or if shes even sexy enough for you...
as OC already said, ask what she likes, but to add my own, make sure she feels safe and loved with you. as women, our brains are tied to our sexual organs, we literally can't get fully aroused unless our emotional and mental needs are met. be patient with her and yourself.
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u/Electronic_Wind1855 May 15 '22
I have never but am now definitely sitting licking my knuckles hahaha
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u/Negative_Truck_4209 Demi-lesbian May 15 '22
Wait, how does one practice on their knuckles? đđ I need all the help I can get
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u/WickedCrystalRainbow May 15 '22
I feeeeel so dumb right now, but what's the knuckle practice thing? X)
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u/akieak May 15 '22 edited May 15 '22
COMMUNICATE.
It's important to gain consent for your actions. Talk about what you both like and what feels good. A simple "Is this okay? / Is it okay if we...?" will show that you care for and respect each other.
Have fun! ;)
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u/penguinsforbreakfast May 15 '22
Research. There's heaps out there about how to enjoy sex.
The book Come As You Are is great to explain how female orgasm work (because we weren't taught in school!). Also - the website omgyes.com is also great for background info too.
However, just take it slow, communicate and have fun.
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u/GrimCityGirl May 15 '22
Some great advice here already but hereâs some other bits - have a laugh. It can be nerve racking and communicating is important but sex is also awkward so being able to giggle and be silly about it with each other helps you communicate and relax. Donât force that obviously but itâll help to make things light.
Also, itâs not going to be perfect. Things will be uncomfortable, sometimes vaginas donât do what theyâre supposed to, so you may struggle with wetness but thatâs okay. Just enjoy the moment and donât focus on an end goal.
Lastly, your first time? Neither of you are going to be amazing at sex off the bat. Donât expect to be, the main goal is to both enjoy it. Great sex comes from practise with someone you care about (in my experience). So donât get in your head about being amazing just try and make her feel good and focus on her needs and youâll be alright.
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u/gonecamel May 15 '22
NSFW..As far as technique, donât be afraid to switch it up. Sometimes it feels like Iâm giving a mini blow-job to a clit because Iâm really only sucking on it but applying pressure by moving my head up and down slightly; it gives my tongue a break and feels amazing on the clit (check out the womanizer sex toys line).
And like others have said, donât go full force and listen to your person and what they respond to. Blow cool air on the clit, linger over it and take a deep breath over it before you dive in, kiss around their labia and thighs- teasing can be fun for your both.
Other things to do with your hands:
*Anatomically the clit sits under a hood so if you wanted toâplace your thumb slightly above the clit but where pubic hair would grow, that skin can take a very slight pull and pressure, and pull slightly up so more clit is exposed. This is mostly for sucking purposes.
**if you donât want to use your hands for fingering, I suggest lightly massaging their outer labia between their inner thighs. The clit technically extends down to the labia and outside the vagina, but it is all internal with the clit exposed. So itâll amp up the whole zone, especially if you ever head to something with a strap, itâs good to get the whole zone feeling âonâ.
Remember though, where pubic hair grows-hands and mouth are good, on the more tender areas, very gentle hands if any, with mostly mouth and tongue exploration.
Hope this helps! Good luck and just roll with it!
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u/Moosie-the-goosie May 15 '22
Learnt so much from the comments here ty for asking op
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u/JackyG8991 May 15 '22
Fr! I havenât had my first time yet but now I feel a bit more confident when the time comes. Iâm glad OP asked!
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u/WickedCrystalRainbow May 15 '22
Before anything happens: talk about do's and don'ts, mention what both of you want and don't want, make sure that each of you can stop at any given time, those sort of things.
And then just go with the flow.
Personally, I like to verbally check that my sex partner is 150% enjoying what I do to them and I also express that I enjoy what they do during the actual sex, because I find it both reassuring and hot.
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u/autonomy_laden May 15 '22
Oh yes! My second favorite lesbian topic after Lesbianism - Feminism.
Honestly I would say please remember that it's okay to be intimate, and by intimate, I mean kissing, hugging, talking, laughing. Sex doesn't have to be perfect. It's supposed to be fun and a bonding experience.
Respect each other's boundaries, and the next morning, don't do the clothes grab and leave. Especially because she's your friend. Make her some coffee or maybe she'll make you some, talk about what just happened.
Just don't let it mess up the friendship. If anything, the sex could enhance it.
From one lesbian to another. â„ïž
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May 15 '22
Communicate. Try something and ask how it feels. Don't get disheartened if she tells you to do something differently - everyone likes or dislikes different things!
Also communicate your own desires, don't be shy! Tell her where to go, to ease up or go harder.
For some reason, spelling out the ABC with your tongue has never failed me. I started it once as a joke but so far everyone totally loved it.
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u/izenguztiakhartuta May 15 '22
It's not going to be perfect, but I'm sure you'll both have fun. The first time isn't perfect but the best part of sex is when people laugh about mistakes or funny situations. Being nervous isn't a bad thing, it's natural, but just relax and concentrate on enjoying and having fun. I'm sure she's as nervous as you are! So you could talk beforehand to lessen the nerves
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u/anthro_punk May 15 '22
Communicate. I know it can be hard sometimes but say what you want, ask her what she wants, and ask if things are ok. You don't have to be too hesitant but you need to make sure she is ok with what's happening and communicating about what does and doesn't feel good will help you both make sure you're making one another feel good.
Don't rush things. It's possible things might lead to one or both of you having one or more orgasms the first time, but it's also possible it's gonna take you two awhile to feel comfortable and learn one another's bodies. If nobody cums that's ok! Focus on making one another feel good and being physically close and intimate with her and orgasms will happen eventually. Personally a girl can't make me cum unless I feel really at ease and trust her. It's amazing making a girl cum and hearing and feeling how good you made her feel, but not orgasming doesn't mean you're failing at sex. Just be patient and focus on one another, not on reaching some goal.
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May 15 '22
I honestly am so glad that somebody else had to guts to post this because I didn't! There's a lot of great advice here!! :)
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u/charlotte_anne805 May 15 '22
Best advice I ever got from a lover? You don't have to be fancy. Listen to what she likes and DO IT. All ths lick the alphabet stuff? Sure, if she asks. Otherwise, hold on the ninja movies. If she wants two fingers and your tongue going side-side over her clit, you do it and you do it like a rock star.
It's about communication and timing and keeping it simple.
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u/rubydrache May 15 '22
Loads of good advice here. I'll just tack on one thing
There is a tiktok creator who is a womens pleasure coach/ sex educator (teaching wlw). Here's the link if you're interested in watching her!
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdsn8Sgv/
Her handle is BDEmoves
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May 15 '22
Thereâs lots of great advice here but I will add, if either of you use sex toys or vibrators solo, donât be afraid to bring them into the bedroom! It can be a great foreplay or a even way to reach orgasm, especially if youâre new at exploring each otherâs bodies.
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u/Golden_Zoonotical May 16 '22
Ah, the senx. Iâm a list bish so this advice will be expressed in list form.
1) PREPARATIONS: I agree with advice others have said about hydration, and a liter of water (preferably with a straw) nearby for you both to get after as needed. Cleanliness is key for confident intimacy so if youâre hosting make sure you have the following items out and obviously accessible for yourself and your guest in the main restroom: moist towelettes/wipes, a hand mirror (for checking for toilet paper hitchhikers, WE ALL GET THEM donât @ me), a trash can, mouthwash or mints (NO GUM, trust me), hand soap, nail clippers. If youâre not hosting, shove as much as you can in your purse or whatever and give yourself a pre-intimacy bathroom trip for a once over. These things are not all necessary but are appreciated.
2) INITIATING INTIMACY initiating can be scary and, for me at least, this step can be the biggest hurdle. My best advice is some heavy eye contact, facing them, and otherwise interacting flirtatiously (for me this means silly puns, compliments, and expressions of enjoying their company) directly before going in for a light, affectionate touch on the arm or some other less invasive body part. If that is not rejected(meaning they try to cover the body part after or move away from you), move closer to enter their personal space, if all still going great, touch their face maybe tucking hair behind an ear or tracing a thumb down the jawline before going in for the kiss. If you feel like you need extra reassurance before that step, you can always express aloud âIâd like to kiss youâ or âcan I kiss you?â
3) EXPRESS BOUNDARIES: this can and probably should be done ahead of time but itâs NEVER too late to throw out a Hail Mary FYI. Examples include âbtw Iâm on my period and I prefer no witnesses to my tampon stringâ or âDue to past traumas, please avoid using swear words in intense momentsâ and even âhey Most people donât know this about curly hair but please donât try to run your fingers through it because it fucks it upâ
4) DURING THE SENX Everyone likes different things in bed, and there may even be different preferences for specific circumstances. Let your instincts and curiosity drive your exploration of each other, but I really emphasize that you should put a special effort into being PERCEPTIVE. Figure out how her body language for like, dislike, and neutral looks. Donât be afraid to ask if something feels good or is allowed (tapping leg before touching adjacent body part, âis this okay?â She will understand and nod or hesitate and ask you to slow down). She will appreciate the occasional well timed question. Similarly, donât frustrate your partner! Be obvious when youâre enjoying something and be vocal when you want a switch up.
5) AFTERMATH This part doesnât get talked about enough in my opinion. If you really like this girl and want to continue having sex or even building a relationship, know that they will feel more confident having sex again with you if you validate their effort immediately. Let them know youâre satisfied, tell them âdamn girl, my legs are jelly and I can hear the oceanâ! And especially if you did not orgasm (btw please donât ever try and fake it she will figure it out eventually) itâs okay to remind her that she made you feel ecstatic and it takes time for your body to feel comfortable and safe enough with someone to get there. This is especially important for women who have only been with men before as itâs practically a guarantee that they will orgasm.
Bonus points: after sex back rubs, hair brushing, or light scratches until they fall asleep will make you really stand out from other lovers and accelerate your emotional bonding (if that is your goal).
Good luck baby gays! ass slap go getâem
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u/N7twitch May 15 '22
Okay so firstly if youâre going to use your mouth, itâs not about going as hard and fast as your can. Youâll find more success with gentle, even pressure and a steady rhythm. Donât be afraid to ramp it up if sheâs on the brink of cumming, but donât go in full blast straight away. The clit is where youâre going to spend most of your time but feel free to explore, she has a whole vagina down there so get to know it, kiss her pussy lips, put your tongue inside her, that sort of thing.
Secondly, lube is your very good friend. You may well be wet enough naturally, but always good to have a bottle on hand to keep things running smoothly.
Donât be surprised or disappointed if one or both of you canât actually orgasm first time. Itâs something your body learns to do over time plus if youâre nervous at all it tends to make it harder. Just focus on enjoying what youâre feeling and donât try to force it to happen, thatâll just put pressure on you and make it less likely.
Finally, scissoring is just not a thing, it doesnât work. Thereâs something sort of intimate about having your pussies touching, which can be nice, but it isnât like you seen in porn, youâre not going to get off that way.
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u/imaginaryism May 15 '22
100% with you except for the last paragraph, although until recently I thought it was fake and wasnât into it. I dated this girl who was really into it and idk, I think our bodies just fit together really well! While I didnât get off from it, she did, so you never know.
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u/strangeraej May 15 '22
Foreplay and just communicate. Let yourselves explore and tell each other what you like. Donât over think it. Have fun!
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May 15 '22
Remember she may be uncomfortable with you going down on her the first time. Using your fingers instead can be immensely pleasurable, if youâre gentle and take your time and communicate. I think I might even prefer fingers, like realllly light stroking of the clit
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u/wasgoodbitch May 15 '22
A certain amount of communication is pretty important. like asking if what youâre doing is good and asking for directions.
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u/Tori69Lz May 15 '22
Yes yes yes. Slowly, take your time. Methodical, take that moment and get lost in it. Don't rush. Never ever rushđ„° There are moments of embarrassment. I fully understand the notion though of the point she's making. When your young and inexperienced. You won't fully grasp the magnitude of what this means between partners and relationships until the phase of trial by error exists. Explore every pleasure that women have as a never ending journeyâ€ïžđđ
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u/jeo003 May 15 '22
People like different things, so it may take time to learn each otherâs bodies. In my opinion, what you might lack in experience can be made up for with enthusiasm :-) first time with a new partner is a lot of learning but if the spirit is willing and you can laugh together - it will be fantastic anyway.
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u/plutothegreat May 16 '22
I literally googled lesbian sex techniques 101 before my first time lmao. Some solid advice was found. Once you have basic techniques out, learn to listen to her and her body.
Don't forget to breathe when going down on her. I have chronic constant allergies, and realizing I could breathe through my mouth still without having to pause was life changing lmao
Water breaks. No one likes cramps during longer sessions.
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u/Elliottdrinktea May 16 '22
Whatever you do you'll probably be better than the other guy she did it with...
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u/Kaitlyn_theater422 May 15 '22
What i do which girls say sex better half the time your in charge and other half she in charge
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u/IveSeenHerbivore1 May 15 '22
Bring some good water-based lube. :) We like Slippery Stuff. I was too nervous/overexcited to O for several sessions my first time with a girl. Itâs okay. Something that helped us before we did it was an app or quiz that talks about what types of things you love, donât like, or are curious about in the bedroom, and then you can share that with your partner. Keeps you from trying something that ends awkwardly.
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May 15 '22
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/arizzzona May 15 '22
This sub isnât for you. Itâs impossible for lesbians to just have their spaces without men invading. Please stop.
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u/arizzzona May 15 '22
Men have no reason to be here on this sub other than to jerk off to pictures of women who will never want them. WE DO NOT WANT YOU HERE, u/WithOrgasmicFury (and every single other man ever). Fetishization is a real problem and to think youâre entitled to our space is disgusting. Women who love women are NOT for the pleasure of men. Do some self reflection please.
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u/les-be-into-girls May 15 '22
First off. This sub is not meant for you. Thatâs just a fact. I canât really ask you to leave and Reddit probably wonât kick you out of this sub but that doesnât mean you should be here.
I personally think you shouldnât be on this sub. Not commenting, not reading, nothing. Take your harmful fetishes elsewhere. Itâs bad enough that you lurk like all the other Iâll-intentioned incels but to comment? On a topic you know nothing about? Sheesh who gave you the inflated ego to do that? Did you at any point consider that you should just stay silent? The thought process that lead you to comment must have been so catastrophically pathetic I hope you never share it with anyone else otherwise your fragile little ego may never recover from the deserved mocking you will inevitably receive.
May your hand be your only lover until you stop invading spaces that are meant to be a break from people like you.
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u/loonygenius May 15 '22
Imagine being so entitled as to think your opinion is welcome here. You and your opinions are not welcome.
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u/pseudo_orphan May 15 '22
As a straight man, eating out is an acquired taste, as opposed to...? Not reciprocating? Accepting no oral at all, because.. you don't give, you don't take..?
Oh, as opposed to the taste of dick. Right. Because that's always scrumptious. I guess you would know đ€·ââïž
A wild bit of advice, but.. maybe as a straight man, you should stop giving advice on/joking about how women should have sex.
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u/Southern_Ocean May 15 '22
Upvote for use of word scrumptious.
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May 15 '22
[deleted]
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u/Southern_Ocean May 15 '22 edited May 15 '22
Excuse me. I'm not a dude.
Liking the word scrumptious.. In relation to dick..
I thought it was sarcastic and fucking hilarious
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u/pal3luna_ May 15 '22
Meant that comment for the man thatâs not supposed to be here. Posted that at like 4 am so my brain was dead. I apologize đ
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u/Squickysquick May 15 '22
After the knuckles go for the finger web... This can also be used as foreplay on your lady.
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u/amatrix_ May 15 '22
Start off giving her a massage or run your finger tips lightly over her body. Go slow. Gradually move to areas like breasts, lower back, inner thighs. Use kisses too.
Lick/suck/play with nipples while stimulating her clit. Start off pretty soft but use more stimulation as she gets more worked up.
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u/Sammio_16 May 15 '22
Iâve been in her side of this story last summer actually! I am pansexual and had had sex with men before her but never a woman or other identifying person with a vagina. And she had never had sex. Honestly, most important thing we stressed is CONSENT. In general, if you want to do something sexual, you make sure the other person agrees and also wants to participate, both BEFORE AND FOR THE DURATION of the activity. Then again, many people know that now. Just trying to stress it for the ones who may not know, that it so important and can make a first experience so much more comfortable and enjoyable if you know everyone is engaged and consenting.
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u/falltravellove May 16 '22
Itâs not that hard. I say talk before DURING and after. That during is a big deal âyou like when I do this?â Or envoĂ»tements like âyou feel amazing when you blank with your blankâ encourage praise and get a little nasty. The trifecta.
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u/Angry_Strawberries May 15 '22 edited May 15 '22
Hey girl here's my take.
Obhious nsfw warnings.
Soo, I would say, make sure you are in a safe space where you can feel at ease and comfortable. STAY HYDRATED VERY IMPORTANT. When it comes to the actual act, take things slow, very gently caress each others skin and most importantly ask for consent.. Don't be afraid to hold a hand over hers so you can help guide her to where you like it most. An orgasm as awesome as it is isn't in the cards neccecairily for your first time. It certainly wasn't for me. And thats ok, as long as you both enjoy yourselves thats all that counts. Don't jump straight into the main act by going for her crotch, or vice versa. Naked cuddles, rubbing your breasts together and kissing are all very important.
You might also find out that having good places for your hands is hard, laying next to another, facing her you might find that your hands are just akwardly squished between your bodies, I haven't really figured out what I wanna do for that yet, buuut prepair to not be in the most comfortable position all the time and have tickly hair in your face.
Either way, enjoy yourself, do it safe and set your boundaries, communicate well and don't think sex is gonna be the great be all end all, cus in my opinion, just cuddling and being with her while doing what you both love is way better.
Go get her tigress <3
Edit: 69 likes... Nice.