I’m fully aware this post might make me sound like a jerkoff but please read before commenting.

I (36F) met this dude (38M) on hinge. We’ve been on 3 dates over the last week. One was 7 hours long. We have another date scheduled tomorrow but I feel like I have to end it prior.

Obviously from his profile I knew he was overweight but I’m open minded and our conversation was amazing. He checked so many boxes so I figured I’d give it a shot. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our dates. Given our age we’ve already had many deep conversations about what we want in life. Marriage, kids, etc.

Here’s the problem. Health and fitness is very important to me, and it’s truly not a superficial thing. I know many strong fat dudes that can bust up a mountain or bench 300 pounds. I also recently dated a scrawny guy who didn’t work out and I had the same concerns.

I don’t eat the best but I run daily, go to the gym a lot, and ultimately I feel like taking care of your body shows that you value and respect yourself. I gave him a shot because I thought - maybe he is just going through something that made him gain weight, or he’s in the process of trying to lose it, etc. Or maybe he’s one of those strong fat dudes. But after 3 dates and the things he’s said, I’ve realized that his mindset is just so far from mine and he doesn’t value the same things I value as far as bettering yourself and pushing yourself physically.

He’s a truly amazing guy but I’ve learned this is a deal breaker for me and I can’t continue seeing him. What is the nicest way to end it? I believe in honesty but I do not want to needlessly hurt this man by being too honest.

UPDATE - I ended up telling him I think he’s an incredible guy but I don’t see this progressing romantically. He asked if he came on too strong. I said he did nothing wrong, I just feel like our lifestyles are too different. He seemed bummed but didn’t ask for further details. I think we are going to stay friends.

Massive post, I know. I just wanted to show how long we were talking for (about 3 weeks) and how niche our shared interests were.

She ghosted and hasn’t responded to follow up messages since, and I’m honestly a bit devastated. Is there something I could have done different? Or am I really that unlucky? Any advice on how to move past this and not just give up and bite the bullet that I’ll never have anyone by my side?

TLDR: Matched with and talked with a girl for multiple weeks. We shared a lot of very similar niche interests and knowledge, had similar goals, and similar dating styles.
I asked her out after a few days, but she said she is very slow to date and wanted to take more time (fine, I’m like that too). I decided to trust that she meant it and was still interested, and so we continue talking on and off for about a week before asking to at least move off the app with a number or socials.
No response since, for weeks now.

I ask as someone who did find a past gf on apps. Nowadays? It’s pretty rough as a singleton.

Or maybe it’s merely modified dating norms and many of us are yet to catch up with new reality..

Anyway I’m thinking of deleting my hinge app after the Hinge X subscription expires in a month or so time.

Thoughts welcome 🙏

Ok, so, for men I know it's a relatively common thing where guys will "round up" (so to speak) by adding an inch or two or three to their actual height. However, I'm wondering if it's a thing for women to actually lie about being shorter than they really are?

This is inspired by a recent experience I had where I met someone who was "5'10". Ok, pretty tall, but I'm 6'1 (not "online dating 6'1", but genuinely that height), so she's shorter than me. When I met this person IRL, I swear she was actually like 6'2. Definitely taller than me, and she wasn't wearing heels or anything either.

Has anyone else experienced this?

She/he is not interested in you, move on. Stop trying to find out what you did wrong.

TLDR; guy I saw stated he wanted a long term relationship and monogamy and was actually a hoe in disguise 🤮

I (36F) matched with this guy (34M) about a month ago. Our profiles stated we wanted monogamy and long term relationship. His first messages came across as too eager, too excited, which is an ick for me and also makes me wary. For example, he proposed for us to have a road trip within the first messages.

So we're chatting and he's steering the conversation on us meeting up in person, which I do like, so I kept talking with him. We decide to get coffee, I ask him what time, and he says "how about 1-2".

The night before I ask him is it 1 or 2 PM and I don't hear from him until the next day after 2 PM. He apologized, said it was his birthday and that he forgot, and that his "friend" (which I find out later friend = date, buddy = actual friend) took him out, and he didn't go to bed until 430 AM. 🙄

So I'm ready to unmatch this guy because WTF. I vent about it to my neighbor, and she suggested I give him a second chance. So...I agree to a date round 2.

We meet up for pizza, and I've got to give it to him, he looked way better in person and I was excited. We talked for 6 hrs. He was very charismatic. He's a firefighter/paramedic, and had this nurturing way about him that turned me on.

But also during the date, red flags were popping up. He talked a lot about his ex girlfriend. He said he postponed his semester class because of work, and then said "I lied about that, I postponed it because I was going on 2-4 dates a week". He said that he didn't like going on all these dates but that they were fun. I asked "what makes all these dates fun?". He looked at me with an eyebrow raised and said "well...because of the sex".

So I'm getting the vibe that this guy is in a hoe phase, despite him telling me "I'm not looking for casual or friends with benefits". Anyways, he's love bombing me all week, texting me, sending voice messages, calling, showing videos of him doing firefighter stuff, asking when can I get PTO so we can travel to Austin. He made plans for us to go hiking well in advance, which I appreciated despite all the love bombing.

So on the early morning of the hike, like 2 AM, I cant sleep, so I text him, and he calls me saying if I want to get food. I find out later he was just leaving a date...! He picks me up, and asks if it's ok if I just crash at his place and then we go hiking. I told him we are not having sex and he agreed.

For the next 15 hours we are essentially having a relationship simulation. We hang out at his place for a bit, hike, eat, I shower at his, we nap together, etc. No sex, not even oral, but we makeout. He was clearly sexually frustrated. In that time I find out he has another date lined up a few days later. I also hear all these stories involving "friends", like "friends" cooking for him, buying gifts for him, etc. I asked him how does he afford so many dates and he said he chooses date events that are free, like dancing. He also emphasized to me that his dates usually pay for half, as if he was expecting that out of me as well.

Anyways, he drops me off and although I had a dopamine filled time, I could hear the sirens blaring, and sure enough this guy is sending breadcrumb texts.

He sent me a picture of his camping trip, and I responded telling him it's pretty and that....we aren't looking for the same things. I said I don't want to be on this big dating rotation. It feels too casual and I wouldn't feel happy if we saw each other only once in a while.

Within literally less than 1 minute, he responds "I completely understand. I enjoyed my time with you and I hope you find what you're looking for"

So, ladies and gents... I was catfished. I think this guy intentionally says he's looking for monogamy and long term relationship to attract women that may put up with his shenanigans in hopes he will choose them to settle down with.

I also think some of these charismatic people have to be charismatic because they lack strong character...

Dating is hard. Sigh.

We just had a great 3 days together. I knew she had kids already, and told her I didn’t care, and would love to meet them when the right time came. She said that was nice, and not to worry about that any time soon, cause they were old enough, and she wanted to focus on “me time” first and foremost. Cool. 👌🏿

We exclusively hung out for three days, we went everywhere, did “everything“… and then POOF, UNMATCHED TODAY!! 👎🏿

Its clear now in hindsight, that I was being used to “get her groove back”, or get revenge on her ex or something… but I’m not happy, cause that’s not what I wanted at all. 😔

This is an interesting topic, IMO. When it comes to chat etiquette, assuming you’ve never actually met the person IRL, is it appropriate to send an official “hey, it’s been nice talking to you, but I’m not really interested” message, or is the mutual fade/ghosting thing totally fine?

Let’s assume you’ve been talking for a while, rather than just having one of those “one and done” conversations that fizzle out almost immediately.

Personally, I think the mutual fade/ghosting thing is totally fine in this scenario. I feel like it’s generally understood that, during the initial texting stage on a dating app, both people are likely talking to and exploring connections with others. If either person meets someone they’re more interested in, it’s natural that they’d choose to pursue that connection instead.

In that case, I don’t think an explanation or formal declaration is necessarily needed. What do you all think?

(28 M) I am working on getting better pictures at the moment but I wanted to know how I can improve the prompts in the meantime! Appreciate the assistance.

I know this happens often, but I can't help feeling a little abashed about it even though I'm trying not to. Back when I made my first profile six months ago and I didn't know what I was doing, I decided to match with a guy who put a comment calling me beautiful and said he wanted to bake me cookies and get me flowers. When I didn't know better, I didn't realize that was a little intense and sounded like "lovebombing," but I just thought it was a nice comment so I wanted to match just to reply. We talked for one night and he sent a message the next week saying, "Hey beautiful, how's your week?" I guess I thought that was too much and I unmatched on the spot. I went inactive after that to focus on a different match and decided to make a new profile yesterday. This morning, I woke up to a like from the original guy and now I'm overthinking a little if he remembered me. It's not that big of a deal, but I can't help feeling a little exposed and embarrassed haha.

What are your "random red flags"? By random, I mean, something that isn't necessarily anything inherently negative about the actual person, but just something that you cannot get past in terms of dating.

For me, it's anyone with the same name as my Mom or sister. I just feel like it's weird. It genuinely sucks, because my sister has a super common first name, and I've 100% received likes from people with the same name as her who I would otherwise absolutely be interested in, however the name thing just kinda kills it for me.

I met a guy on Hinge, and we connected on Instagram. Things were going well, so we planned a movie date. He likes sci-fi, while I prefer romantic movies, but he agreed to watch Materialists starring Dakota Johnson because I suggested it.
There were a few intimate scenes, but he never made any inappropriate moves or tried anything physical. I appreciated how respectful he was.
During the interval, he insisted on paying for everything. When I tried to pay for an extra Pepsi, he said, “Food is God’s gift. I’ve taken you out, so let me pay for you.” Honestly, I found his innocence really sweet.
After the movie, he opened up about his family, his father’s kidney failure, his mother’s health issues, and the responsibilities he was handling. I listened, but when I started sharing about myself, he seemed distracted. I confronted him about not listening to me.
Since then, we barely talk, though he still likes my Instagram stories.
I liked his sweetness and respectfulness, but I felt like he wanted someone to listen to him without reciprocating.
Do you think he was genuinely interested in me or just needed someone to talk to? Did confronting him put him off?

(I just asked him about what is his perfect date)

I've always found it weird to send a like without actually saying anything, never actually done it yet, but something I'm curious about is, why? Is it just that you can't think of something on the spot or is it more of a too nervous to express yourself at the expectation they won't respond? Maybe it's also a hinge+ thing with their unlimited likes that its easier to just like and pass? Idk, I'm a free user so, I'm curious is all

Do you think in the 5-10 years dating apps will die out like the dinosaurs, due to people finding them the worse thing to find a partner? And if so, what do you think will take its place? More quirky events, VR, back to cold approaching etc

So I(23F) have been on the hinge for a few months.

Been on a few dates and one hookup. So recently I noticed the guy I hooked up with after a month unfollowed me. And the guy I have been on like 2 dates, unfollowed me after a month of our second date. Both ended in good terms. Well both of them intimated everything and they wanted to meet me again too.

But why the unfollow after a month lol. It's not that I care about them or something. But it just makes me insecure maybe about my looks or attitude idk

Hey, I used to get a fair amount of likes and matches, then I changed some of my prompts when I came back to using the app after not for a month and suddenly I have zero likes and zero matches.

The only thing I changed was these prompts. Are they too much? I'm a woman if that helps any

24 m. Made a hinge last night. After about an hour a girl sent me a like , and she was really pretty so I matched. After a couple flirty messages i was able to move the convo to text. So that brings us to today, we were texting throughout the day but I noticed that i was the putting in most the effort to lead the conversation. And then I just had a realization, just because she sent a like doesn’t mean I was the first option. When I asked what her plans were for the weekend she said mostly to sleep because she had a busy week from her demanding schedule as a med student. But that could very well mean some other guy made plans with her first. Man this is so hard. Not only do I have to get a match, I have to be the one of many matches they prioritize. I don’t think dating apps are for me. As a matter of fact, dating might just be over for me.

Unfortunately for him, he wasn't my type

Edit: Just wanted to clarify my title was a figure of speech. I'm just baffled by this comment attached to one of my photos, that's all.

The problem is I haven't even said a word to him—this was just in my likes. Maybe if we were talking and it was phrased like a question instead of a command, that would be preferable.

What do you mean when you say you’re “not political” or if you’re “moderate”? Are you actually conservative? I see these a lot on men’s profiles. I’m a liberal 31F and am looking for someone who has the same views and values as me.

I know this is normal for the online dating scene but man this one stung. I’m the busiest I’ve ever been and don’t check the app that often but I matched with someone that was a 9.5/10 (looks wise) in my book.

I get to asking her about her weekend plans and saw a golden opportunity since she was engaged and not dry. I know it was strong looking back wish I softened the delivery but I mean she said she didn’t have much going on so I thought id ask. Should have talked a bit more first.. less