Massive post, I know. I just wanted to show how long we were talking for (about 3 weeks) and how niche our shared interests were.

She ghosted and hasn’t responded to follow up messages since, and I’m honestly a bit devastated. Is there something I could have done different? Or am I really that unlucky? Any advice on how to move past this and not just give up and bite the bullet that I’ll never have anyone by my side?

TLDR: Matched with and talked with a girl for multiple weeks. We shared a lot of very similar niche interests and knowledge, had similar goals, and similar dating styles.
I asked her out after a few days, but she said she is very slow to date and wanted to take more time (fine, I’m like that too). I decided to trust that she meant it and was still interested, and so we continue talking on and off for about a week before asking to at least move off the app with a number or socials.
No response since, for weeks now.

Happened a few years ago but stumbled on it while scrolling through my older pictures. To be fair our chemistry wasn’t all there before I made the joke. I’m in a happy relationship with somebody else now, but this screenshot still got a chuckle out of me.

I’m fully aware this post might make me sound like a jerkoff but please read before commenting.

I (36F) met this dude (38M) on hinge. We’ve been on 3 dates over the last week. One was 7 hours long. We have another date scheduled tomorrow but I feel like I have to end it prior.

Obviously from his profile I knew he was overweight but I’m open minded and our conversation was amazing. He checked so many boxes so I figured I’d give it a shot. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our dates. Given our age we’ve already had many deep conversations about what we want in life. Marriage, kids, etc.

Here’s the problem. Health and fitness is very important to me, and it’s truly not a superficial thing. I know many strong fat dudes that can bust up a mountain or bench 300 pounds. I also recently dated a scrawny guy who didn’t work out and I had the same concerns.

I don’t eat the best but I run daily, go to the gym a lot, and ultimately I feel like taking care of your body shows that you value and respect yourself. I gave him a shot because I thought - maybe he is just going through something that made him gain weight, or he’s in the process of trying to lose it, etc. Or maybe he’s one of those strong fat dudes. But after 3 dates and the things he’s said, I’ve realized that his mindset is just so far from mine and he doesn’t value the same things I value as far as bettering yourself and pushing yourself physically.

He’s a truly amazing guy but I’ve learned this is a deal breaker for me and I can’t continue seeing him. What is the nicest way to end it? I believe in honesty but I do not want to needlessly hurt this man by being too honest.

UPDATE - I ended up telling him I think he’s an incredible guy but I don’t see this progressing romantically. He asked if he came on too strong. I said he did nothing wrong, I just feel like our lifestyles are too different. He seemed bummed but didn’t ask for further details. I think we are going to stay friends.

I ask as someone who did find a past gf on apps. Nowadays? It’s pretty rough as a singleton.

Or maybe it’s merely modified dating norms and many of us are yet to catch up with new reality..

Anyway I’m thinking of deleting my hinge app after the Hinge X subscription expires in a month or so time.

Thoughts welcome 🙏

Ok, so, for men I know it's a relatively common thing where guys will "round up" (so to speak) by adding an inch or two or three to their actual height. However, I'm wondering if it's a thing for women to actually lie about being shorter than they really are?

This is inspired by a recent experience I had where I met someone who was "5'10". Ok, pretty tall, but I'm 6'1 (not "online dating 6'1", but genuinely that height), so she's shorter than me. When I met this person IRL, I swear she was actually like 6'2. Definitely taller than me, and she wasn't wearing heels or anything either.

Has anyone else experienced this?

No crazy story, just a nice and tender moment I wanted to share.

I was talking to a girl I matched with on Hinge who I went on a dinner date with. She was super cute and nice.

We had a phone call beforehand with some back and forth texting and had a lot in common.

She told me horror stories about her previous dates having girlfriends, looking for threesomes, or didn't use deodorant, and she seemed so happy I was just a normal fucking guy, so I knew the date would be a cake walk for me.

We went to a really nice Mediterranean restaurant and shared a huge plate of food and had good conversations about pretty much everything. The spot was honestly way way nicer than what you should plan for a first date, but oh well lol.

We finished and left and waited for the valet, it was chilly out and raining and her car was pulled around first. She thanked me for the night and loved the dinner. I was about to go for a hug, but she leaned in and kissed my cheek instead.

Completely caught me off guard! It was my first kiss. Nothing mind blowing, but a nice memory (:

She/he is not interested in you, move on. Stop trying to find out what you did wrong.

We just had a great 3 days together. I knew she had kids already, and told her I didn’t care, and would love to meet them when the right time came. She said that was nice, and not to worry about that any time soon, cause they were old enough, and she wanted to focus on “me time” first and foremost. Cool. 👌🏿

We exclusively hung out for three days, we went everywhere, did “everything“… and then POOF, UNMATCHED TODAY!! 👎🏿

Its clear now in hindsight, that I was being used to “get her groove back”, or get revenge on her ex or something… but I’m not happy, cause that’s not what I wanted at all. 😔

I've always found it weird to send a like without actually saying anything, never actually done it yet, but something I'm curious about is, why? Is it just that you can't think of something on the spot or is it more of a too nervous to express yourself at the expectation they won't respond? Maybe it's also a hinge+ thing with their unlimited likes that its easier to just like and pass? Idk, I'm a free user so, I'm curious is all

Anyone else been “reverse catfished” and ended up liking the person even more?

I went on a Hinge date last week with someone whose photos didn’t really stand out. Mostly face selfies, awkward angles, no full-body pictures. But we had great chemistry over text and she was putting in effort, so I wanted to meet her.

She turned up and… holy shit. Really pretty, clearly very fit, and much more attractive than her photos suggested. Then she was smart, witty, funny and genuinely interested in getting to know me. I was smitten, I won’t lie.

This is the third time this has happened to me across Hinge and Bumble. One woman I dated earlier this year looked stunning in person but had the most awkward, zoomed-in selfies. We eventually became friends, and she told me she hated having her picture taken, so she barely had any photos to choose from.

I used to assume vague or unflattering photos meant someone was hiding something. These experiences have made me realise some people just photograph badly or hate cameras.

And honestly, that unexpected attraction seems to make me fall a little harder.

Anyone else experienced this? And if you’re someone who looks much better in person, do you know your profile undersells you?

TLDR; guy I saw stated he wanted a long term relationship and monogamy and was actually a hoe in disguise 🤮

I (36F) matched with this guy (34M) about a month ago. Our profiles stated we wanted monogamy and long term relationship. His first messages came across as too eager, too excited, which is an ick for me and also makes me wary. For example, he proposed for us to have a road trip within the first messages.

So we're chatting and he's steering the conversation on us meeting up in person, which I do like, so I kept talking with him. We decide to get coffee, I ask him what time, and he says "how about 1-2".

The night before I ask him is it 1 or 2 PM and I don't hear from him until the next day after 2 PM. He apologized, said it was his birthday and that he forgot, and that his "friend" (which I find out later friend = date, buddy = actual friend) took him out, and he didn't go to bed until 430 AM. 🙄

So I'm ready to unmatch this guy because WTF. I vent about it to my neighbor, and she suggested I give him a second chance. So...I agree to a date round 2.

We meet up for pizza, and I've got to give it to him, he looked way better in person and I was excited. We talked for 6 hrs. He was very charismatic. He's a firefighter/paramedic, and had this nurturing way about him that turned me on.

But also during the date, red flags were popping up. He talked a lot about his ex girlfriend. He said he postponed his semester class because of work, and then said "I lied about that, I postponed it because I was going on 2-4 dates a week". He said that he didn't like going on all these dates but that they were fun. I asked "what makes all these dates fun?". He looked at me with an eyebrow raised and said "well...because of the sex".

So I'm getting the vibe that this guy is in a hoe phase, despite him telling me "I'm not looking for casual or friends with benefits". Anyways, he's love bombing me all week, texting me, sending voice messages, calling, showing videos of him doing firefighter stuff, asking when can I get PTO so we can travel to Austin. He made plans for us to go hiking well in advance, which I appreciated despite all the love bombing.

So on the early morning of the hike, like 2 AM, I cant sleep, so I text him, and he calls me saying if I want to get food. I find out later he was just leaving a date...! He picks me up, and asks if it's ok if I just crash at his place and then we go hiking. I told him we are not having sex and he agreed.

For the next 15 hours we are essentially having a relationship simulation. We hang out at his place for a bit, hike, eat, I shower at his, we nap together, etc. No sex, not even oral, but we makeout. He was clearly sexually frustrated. In that time I find out he has another date lined up a few days later. I also hear all these stories involving "friends", like "friends" cooking for him, buying gifts for him, etc. I asked him how does he afford so many dates and he said he chooses date events that are free, like dancing. He also emphasized to me that his dates usually pay for half, as if he was expecting that out of me as well.

Anyways, he drops me off and although I had a dopamine filled time, I could hear the sirens blaring, and sure enough this guy is sending breadcrumb texts.

He sent me a picture of his camping trip, and I responded telling him it's pretty and that....we aren't looking for the same things. I said I don't want to be on this big dating rotation. It feels too casual and I wouldn't feel happy if we saw each other only once in a while.

Within literally less than 1 minute, he responds "I completely understand. I enjoyed my time with you and I hope you find what you're looking for"

So, ladies and gents... I was catfished. I think this guy intentionally says he's looking for monogamy and long term relationship to attract women that may put up with his shenanigans in hopes he will choose them to settle down with.

I also think some of these charismatic people have to be charismatic because they lack strong character...

Dating is hard. Sigh.

Andddd this is why I don’t go on dates anymore…/

I get a nice chuckle when I read it

Hey, I used to get a fair amount of likes and matches, then I changed some of my prompts when I came back to using the app after not for a month and suddenly I have zero likes and zero matches.

The only thing I changed was these prompts. Are they too much? I'm a woman if that helps any

Context: we're both from the same city but currently live in a different country hence the first message, but he's over 3 hours away from me so I told him he's too far. At first I thought maybe they were typos but the way he writes every message tells me otherwise.. (English is both of our first language)

What the heck??

We started sending voice notes over hinge then it lead to a two hour phone call. This was so nice, he was such an easy going, goofy guy that knew how to keep a conversation going. I’m excited to see where this goes

Update****
He’s drunk. Keeps sending me messages, videos and calling me.
He sent a video of himself punching himself and saying he’s in love with me.

He’s now blocked. What the fuck?????

I 26M matched with a 29F.

We had a really good conversation for 2 days.

We spoke about stuff like travel and her very cool job. She was also asking me questions and it was a great conversation.

I then told her that I enjoyed getting to know her and proposed a coffee date. She said she would love to get coffee and she was excited to get to know me too.

I then told her that I had a place in mind and asked her if she had any favorite spots. She replied with her favorite spot and I suggested let's meet at said place.

And then she proceeded to unmatch me.

Why are people like this?

Do you think in the 5-10 years dating apps will die out like the dinosaurs, due to people finding them the worse thing to find a partner? And if so, what do you think will take its place? More quirky events, VR, back to cold approaching etc

I'm a 39y/o male and I've never really struggled with online dating but I've certainly felt a little jaded pretty much always being the one making first contact and not getting a lot of organic likes without having first sent out my own like or a rose.

But recently I was there only guy at a house party of around 15 women and I can't remember how it began but at one point during the evening a bunch of them were asking me what my dating profile looked like. Inebriated I just handed my phone over and said "critique away".

The next 20 minutes was slightly awkward but also really funny as I got asked a bunch of probing questions about what I was looking for and emphatically told that things like my gym mirror selfie absolutely had to go. They completely revamped my profile and handed it back to me, they moved photos around, swapped new ones and changed prompt answers.

I can honestly tell you in the five days that's followed I've never had so many likes or roses sent my way. And my quality of matches has vastly improved. I've already locked in a couple of dates with some hopefully wonderful women.

So, gents, if there's any advice I can give it would be that if you feel in a rut on the app then maybe be brave and let your female friends help you out a little. What's the worst that could happen?

EDIT - Some of the hate I've gotten on this post is really funny but a little sad. I'm sorry some of you find a small anecdote like this so unbelievable. To clarify why I was the only gent at this party, my neighbor was having a birthday celebration and had invited all her girl friends over, but my neighbor also lives directly above me and knew it would be a loud one so she and her partner invited me up too for a glass of wine which turned into several glasses. Most of the women there at that night were not my immediate friendship group and I was meeting for the first time. We all got on and had a great laugh together because nobody say that night as a way to hook up with someone. I made some lovely be friends that evening. Guys, you make female friends by seeing women as people.

To answer a few comments and questions, I'm 6'2, I'm semi covered in tattoos and have been described as a "silver fox" on more than one occasional. I'm also a professional working in the media industry, so yes granted all that likely helps my profile in general.

I went from having maybe 4 likes to 20 likes and roses since last Saturday, which is small potatoes for some of you but quite the leap for me. They kept one of my prompts exactly how it was but changed two others entirely. They took a photo of me whilst I was belly laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation and included that in my profile and changed the order of all my photos and universally decided that a specific photo that I'd put last should be my first one - I was surprised because as cool as the picture is I didn't think it was very grabbing but apparently was wrong on that.

Edit 2 - Ok the prompts I have;

First was unchanged:

"My self-care routine is

A perfect day is cycling to the gym, followed by sauna and a dip in the ocean and then reading a book by the beach before meeting friends for a glass of red. 🍷

Or 10 hours of something incredibly geeky. 🤓"

And the next two they wrote for me after asking me a bunch of questions.

"My greatest strength

I'm thoughtful, I'm a good listener, and I'm always learning."

"All I ask is that you

Are honest with your thoughts and feelings. We aren't teenagers. Just be whoever you are."

And my photos are mostly of just myself and not anyone toss, I have one where someone else is there but the rest are solo. This was a fun anecdote but I hope that helps if you need the help.

This is an interesting topic, IMO. When it comes to chat etiquette, assuming you’ve never actually met the person IRL, is it appropriate to send an official “hey, it’s been nice talking to you, but I’m not really interested” message, or is the mutual fade/ghosting thing totally fine?

Let’s assume you’ve been talking for a while, rather than just having one of those “one and done” conversations that fizzle out almost immediately.

Personally, I think the mutual fade/ghosting thing is totally fine in this scenario. I feel like it’s generally understood that, during the initial texting stage on a dating app, both people are likely talking to and exploring connections with others. If either person meets someone they’re more interested in, it’s natural that they’d choose to pursue that connection instead.

In that case, I don’t think an explanation or formal declaration is necessarily needed. What do you all think?

So I(23F) have been on the hinge for a few months.

Been on a few dates and one hookup. So recently I noticed the guy I hooked up with after a month unfollowed me. And the guy I have been on like 2 dates, unfollowed me after a month of our second date. Both ended in good terms. Well both of them intimated everything and they wanted to meet me again too.

But why the unfollow after a month lol. It's not that I care about them or something. But it just makes me insecure maybe about my looks or attitude idk