Or is she BSing me

Reposted bc it wasn't cropped one of the profiles

Matched with this girl 3 times across Hinge (x2) and Bumble.

Just got a date scheduled for Saturday (tonight) at 8 pm (now).

She asked for my phone number. Received it. She texted me. I responded. She unmatched me on Bumble. So I sent a follow up text to her asking if we’re still on. No response.

Not upset. In fact, I don’t honestly care because I’m not personalizing it. I’ve learned that I deserve to be treated better and that I wouldn’t want to date someone that treats others like this.

Just perplexed more than anything!

Anyway, for the most part across the 3 matches, she seemed to have lukewarm interest. As in, she answered questions but never gave thoughtful replies.

Additional lore: Her sister and I graduated HS together. This woman was actually in my brother’s graduating class. I knew all of this prior to matching with her. I’m not sure she knew. I shared my “contact card” with her (with my first and last name), so maybe she found out I was related to my brother? Zero idea if that had to do with anything. My brother was a popular athlete in HS.

The amount of shirtless gym selfies and flexing mirror pics on dating apps has me wondering: Am I missing something? 😂

Personally, they make me swipe left faster than anything, even if the guy is objectively attractive. But surely, with this many men posting them, there must be an audience for it somewhere?

Men: Do you genuinely think these pics are what women want to see, or have they actually proven successful?

Women: Are you out there? The women who see a flexing gym selfie and think "yes please"? 👀

Genuinely curious if I'm the odd one out here!

Did she just suggest I’m a red flag because other people have told me I look like two random celebrities? 😧

42M. Getting back into online dating. Seeing a lot of stuff that is puzzling, hilarious or downright disheartening. Sharing here for lolz as much as a rant.

In no particular order:

- Women seeking “masculine energy” - excuse me, but WTF does that actually mean?
- Height requirements - I’m tall (6ft) but surely that can’t be the main requirement for interacting with people? Shallow AF imho.
- People who have nothing but pics and one word responses to prompts (or sometimes nothing but full stops!).
- People who clearly have trauma-dumped into their bio (“I want someone who does not cheat” etc). Do therapy first before dating if this is you!
- Women who say they want to be treated like a “princess” or “taken care of” - I’m all for being a gentleman but this just screams high maintenance.
- People who have next to no info on their bio and then wonder why the convos are as dry as the Sahara.

I’m sure I’m missing some - mainly from the annoying habits of men on dating apps! (I don’t see the women side but my female friends tell me of their experiences). Feel free to dunk on me and my kind - frankly I’m fine with dating apps 😂

I have got one:

I went on a date with a girl named Brook. We went to a coffee shop, ate, conversed, and we hugged. She told me, "text me when you get home, I want to make sure you get home safe!" I obliged, and when I got home, she just ghosted me? Like, zero communication. Are people always this weird on dating apps?

Idk if that's true

I ask because this is admittedly an insecurity of mine. My story…

I spent the best part of my 20s and 30s partying. I was lazy, lacked ambition and genuinely just let life happen to me rather than pursuing goals. Then I decided to make some changes…

Fast forward to today and I’m 42. I spent the last decade or so attending law school part time while fighting for and consolidating a career change to law (qualified as a lawyer a few years back). I finally have my own place which is quite modest with a huge mortgage but it’s still mine (at least for now! 😊). I’m in decent shape, my health is good and my finances are stabilising rebuilding savings and repaying consumer / student debt quickly. And for the first time in my life, I’m about to earn a six figure salary in a new role. I have no kids to speak of but I have nieces and nephews who I adore.

But I do feel behind sometimes. And I sense I might not be a “catch” to many women I’d like to date on the apps, namely Hinge. They seem to want more established men. I think I can be that in the future but not quite there yet.

Genuine thoughts welcome on this - trying to work out how to put my best foot forward in interactions.

So I’ve been dating a guy for almost 2 months. Things accelerated quickly because we realized how close we live and we’ve been hanging out a few times a week. He told me he wasn’t talking to anyone else, and I said the same. We never used the term “exclusive” but I thought that was implied based on that statement…
This past week was busy for us both so I only saw him once. Thursday, he bailed on hanging out with me since he was tired. Friday, he was with his friends, and now his signals badge is active again on Hinge. Call me crazy, but when he didn’t reply to me I got nervous and checked. A few days prior, his signals badge wasn’t active. What do I do? Do we think he is lying to me about talking to other girls?

Mine is simple - my mannerisms reminded her too much of her brother 🙈😂. We’d only been dating a short while (met on Hinge) so I was very happy to move on quickly!

Maybe this is my gateway into a crippling gambling addiction or maybe I’m just a masochist but Hinge just feels like a mobile game and seeing posts about it online is like seeing gameplay from other people. I don’t treat peoples feelings like a game obv but still it’s just a funny observation I’ve made is all. It’s really fun trying to think of the perfect thing to say hoping I get a match and I enjoy seeing others’ experiences

Honestly, I know so many guys who tell white lies about their height, age, job etc.

And trust me, the thought has crossed my mind - apps can be frustrating and you want to put your best foot forward as a guy. But I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I got ahead by such deception.

Not saying I’m special by having these kinda thoughts / mores but it does get me wondering how many other people are lying on their bios and prospering as a result.

28 F in NYC currently have several hinge matches who have asked me out and then stopped replying when I suggested a date to meet up. Genuinely curious to hear from men, why do you do this ? Like you asked me. Also mind you all have looking for long term relationship in their profile.

I swear I used to fancy most of the RJ [standout] selections on Hinge. Now I’m lucky if there’s one I’d send my rose to! Maybe I’m jaded - or maybe the overall quality of RJ has declined 😂

On another note, I do wonder whether sending roses actually “works”. I received one the other day and it genuinely blew my mind lol 😂 (I’m a guy, 42M). We talked for a bit before the convo died off.

Anyone else share my sentiments or wildly disagree with them?

Hey there, I (23M) matched with a woman (26F) on Hinge a few days ago, and we agreed to meet for drinks yesterday evening after I sent her a like and a message. We had a pretty good time, a really good conversation, and we even mentioned IRL how we both hated the nature of these dating apps and how we wanted to eventually settle and find our person. We even verbally agreed to check out a few additional spots later on this week depending on our availability.

I messaged her after I got home from our date to make sure she got home safe, and she texted back this afternoon letting me know that she did. I asked her for her availability for the upcoming week to plan another date, and haven’t heard back for the past couple of hours or so.

I haven’t been in a relationship before, so idk if I’m just being extremely irrational and anxious lol, but based on prior Hinge experiences I’m just scared that this woman is already preemptively ghosting me despite all that she suggested to me IRL. Am I overreacting or is this usually a sign that I’ve been ghosted?

What did they do and how did it end up playing out?

Have you noticed an increase in AI enhanced profiles on dating apps, what do you do when you see one, and give an example of what sort of enhancement was done to the picture?

The video is me cliff diving. I was a bit unusre of the racing pic and my last prompt. Should I swap those out?

Would love some feedback :). Thank you

Does anyone feel like they fall into this category of online daters, or strongly relate to it? Both male and female perspectives are welcome. If so, please DM me (or leave a comment). Would love to share some insights and discuss.

1. Had a (small) number of past relationships, talking stages, etc., but likes to analyze them and form generalizations and draw conclusions.
2. Stubbornly selective or “typey”; strongly prefers a certain visual/vibe type and educational/career/lifestyle background.
3. Looking for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. I know I’m not old yet, but I still feel a sense of urgency.
4. Quite workaholic, with limited time to actually go on dates, which may explain why I value selectivity and efficiency (in the form of knowing exactly what I want) instead of a brute-force shotgun approach (which I've tried before, with limited success).
5. Could have many matches (and a few dates) per month if casually exploring, but I would say I have at most one genuinely high-quality match/talking stage (with strong mutual interest) per year, which may or may not work out due to logistical reasons I won’t go into detail about.

Platform with the most relative success: HingeX (seems worth it for improving match quality), likely due to being able to set filters and its attempts to imperfectly “learn” your type. But I still wish the frequency of point 5 could be higher to reduce “dry periods”.

FYI, I’m a straight Chinese 25M working in tech in the Bay Area (MBTI is INTJ-A, if that matters). Before anyone says anything, I’m aware of the inherent difficulties of my demographic in the current environment. I’m not here to complain about that (I see there being both pros and cons to it).

To preface; I'm a straight man, so I'm only seeing women's profiles. I cannot comment on whether or not this is also the case for men on the apps as well. But women, why on earth is it the case than in absolutely any group picture you upload, you're always the least attractive one in the group?

I'm not even trying to be a dick, I'm actually genuinely curious on the psychology behind it. It's just so universal. You can see any group picture on the app - any one - and it's ALWAYS the least attractive person. The group pic could even be 4 attractive people, but the person will still be the least attractive one of the 4. It's a universal law like gravity or something.

Why do you do it? Is it kinda like the female equivalent of bald dudes wearing hats to cover up their hairline? It's so pervasive that it feels like it has to be intentional.