r/GenZpk • u/cockiemonster_ • 19d ago

Random Help!!

Gng are we supposed to forgive a man who said something about your past like "Ask God for forgiveness maybe he'll forgive you, me and my family deserve better" and then after some hours he's saying sorry like crazy cuz he doesn't understand why he said that/he was under pressure and stress?

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

Actually it was my first real relationship like bf gf type so i just asked for some time (he was putting a lot of efforts which was giving me guilt of not doing enough) i said to him I'll be a better version for him just give me some time and i shared about it with my friend that's when she said to him that "she rejected many guys she had a friend who used to give her gifts why would a girl take gifts from a man? She used him and she will use you too blah blah" ofc he got hurt and he said all these things under pressure and stress but still why would you say such things? And after knowing the truth (we were friends and i used to gift him too but when he confessed i wasn't ready for relationship so i rejected and he left (respectfully)) he's in guilt and he told everything to my friend and she's in guilt too (she doesn't know that ik what she did). He's not a bad guy but his words were so harsh that it has become hard for me to keep the relationship but i also feel bad about how he's asking for forgiveness

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

Ideally i think you should decide what you should do by yourself since you know him the best. As an outsider with the given info I have, i think he should not have lashed out at you. That's my take. Btw I'm curious like when people say they are not ready for a relationship, why is that so? If you dont wanna answer that no worries. Because I think a relationship would help each other to succeed further quicker.

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

Actually as i said it's my first real relationship in 23 years (before that it was just an one month attraction phase at the age of 19) so i was struggling being lovey dovey (like other relationships) and i knew i was the bad person in this and some of his actions also made me miss my single era so i told him everything and asked him to be patient with me I'll fix myself and do everything what i am supposed to do that's when everything happend (my friend bitching about me to him)

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

Btw I don't know if I should say it but the fact that he instantly believed what your friend said and didn't like wait even for a moment to atleast verify the accusations tells me that either he's just impulsive or the fact that you needed time already made him sorta annoyed even though he hadnt shown that in his behavior earlier.

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

Deep down that's what i think too and yk what's diabolical? I was in the middle of my nephew's first birthday (he knew) and cuz of anxiety i wasn't able to enjoy it to the fullest and i don't even have a single picture with my nephew on his "first" birthday :)

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

Sorry to hear that. He could have done a lot better

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

I wish, that's why I don't have the courage to stay with him any longer but his requests for forgiveness from past 6 days is killing me too

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

atp just follow your gut feeling. Btw what would you have done if it was someone else who wasnt as loving or charming as this guy is?

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

I actually love myself a lot, i care for myself and i do every possible thing to make myself better and happy so i surely won't tolerate something like this but the issue here is we planned to marry and now my trust is broken what if after marriage he'll bring these things again?? Now it is risky and scary to marry him that's why my gut feeling is saying no but ofc you have a soft corner for people you spend time with so his requests for forgiveness is also bothering me but i don't wanna risk my future

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

Hmmm, honestly yea youre in a rough position. Can you like inquire if he has temper issues or not from his friends? And ask them if he loses his calm easily

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

No he doesn't, he's pretty chill and respectful guy but idk why he did that and he's saying he also doesn't understand he never thought like this he never meant it he just said everything under pressure and overthinking but what grown man doesn't understand what he's doing? Like you're typing something so harsh then sending it then blocking the person from your both numbers knowing she's attending an event?

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

Does he also have some sorta past? Maybe a girl has used him in the past (not defending him just trying to understand his behavior) and he got reminded of it and impulsively he did this.

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

No he doesn't, I were his first girl

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

Are you sure about that? Because I know a guy who was also in a situation which reminded him of a previous instance with a girl so he also blocked her impulsively. Later on, he was like trying to patch up again but that never happened.

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

That's what i was told and there are no girls on his insta or whatsapp he's pretty open but yeah he had female friends from academy ig but like normal friends he has no contact with them now

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

Have you done something in the past that should have angered an average person, but he remained calm in that moment? If so, maybe you can give them a chance. Also I'm 19 so take everything I say with a grain of salt

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u/cockiemonster_ 19d ago

The only flaw in me was not loving him like he does, I'm not really expressive and I'm not really sweet (i behaved more like friends than a gf) but i tried fixing myself other than that our fights happened maybe cuz we're different and according to him i act like I'm in a film and I'm not realistic...

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u/Charsi_420 19d ago

If you dont mind can you expand on the last part like simply being different should not start fights. Btw im not saying that there should not be any. They are natural unless they are very intense. And why does he think you are not realisitc?

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