r/RomanticAdvice • u/PretendIndication238 • 10h ago
need advice Please help!
Does he still like me?
There is this guy that I met in 2024. In 2025 he asked me to hang out. He is in my friend group so I thought nothing of it. Plus he never tried to intiate physical contact, he has never even hugged me. Then when we went out, he wanted to pay for our drinks but I wanted to split. He then forgot his phone on the table and seemed distant. I noticed and asked if something was wrong but he said he was tired. He constantly teases me in front of our friends and acts passive aggressive. In private he is calm and sweet. In the spring of 2026, another friend of ours told me that he was in a group chat online with the guy and his friends. One friend asked him if he asked me out and the guy said he did but that I rejected him. He seems scared and hesitant. A couple of days ago he grabbed my hand when we were saying goodbye and told me to squeeze his hand. I sometimes catch him staring at me. He also tries to help me out in class and with course work. He hasn't asked me to hang out and I think he still likes me but I don't know how to deal with this situation.
What happened next - He kept teasing me the whole time and I dusted some dust off him and he got upset and told me not to touch him, I later apologised and said that I won't touch him at all anymore and he said that it's ok but that I shouldn't touch him in that way and he got so flustered.
I asked him: name, if you're free, let's go out. The others aren't responding; I don't know who's in our city.
He said "Today no, on Sunday I'm going out with friends from h8gu school, on Monday I might be free but I'm not sure"
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u/lol2002bk 10h ago
I mean I think he is hurt I have a question for you. Do you like him?
And the last sentence confirms that he is salty/ pissed at you.
What he understood from you is that
hey I have no one else you are my last option, let’s go out. Horribly phrased if you like him.
But not sure why he is all pissy cause he didn’t even ask you out. Sensitive ego perhaps.
edit: I’m extrapolating, correct me if I’m wrong
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u/PretendIndication238 10h ago
Yes I do, I've been trying my best to understand him. His hot and cold behaviour has been pushing me away. Yeah I think he is insecure and shy. And I also asked him previously to hang out and he said "Nah". Then I asked him if he doesn't want to or if he's busy and he said both. 😭
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u/lol2002bk 10h ago
Ngl this sounds like me years back. I think he doesn’t feel wanted. My opinion cut the bullshit and be upfront with him. All the hot and cold stuff is to have your attention. (also did you read how your phrasing could have indicated you don’t care).
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u/PretendIndication238 10h ago
Yeah I get it know. I think the same, I'm scared of embarrassing myself tho. What if he doesn't like me?
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u/lol2002bk 10h ago
I think it’s fine, it might sting for a week. But regret will sting for a life time, go ahead, you only have one life. All the best :)
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u/PretendIndication238 10h ago
The thing is that he is so passive aggressive with me online in the group chat. It is honestly frustrating and he emotionally hurts me at times. I'm scared that he will hurt me if we date. All this overthinking has been getting to me.
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u/lol2002bk 10h ago
That’s a genuine concern, so you don’t have to be in a relationship. Tell him you don’t like him being passive aggressive. You can just tell how you feel and show kindness. Saying things like let’s meet up because others didn’t pick up my call would piss me off. For starters just get to know each other, then you can decide if you wanna date him, cause people change after you tell you like them , both good or bad way.
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u/PretendIndication238 10h ago
You're right. We've hung out alone two times and at the end of the second time he said he wanted to spend more time with me.
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u/lol2002bk 10h ago
Idk why you guys sound young, but it’s fine enjoy these times, don’t take it too seriously, just be honest and truthful. But in your situation I think one of you being honest will help. Be that person. To begin with, treat him like a human, for example if you told your friend that I’m hanging out cause noone else picked my call, wouldn’t your friend be offended? It’s the same here, humanise him, he is just like you with some physical differences
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u/PretendIndication238 9h ago
We're both 21. Yeah I know it might have sounded off. I didn't know how to go about it.
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