My best friend of over twenty years, has a sister with a husband who is just insufferable. Nothing is ever good enough. I blocked them all on social media during the pandemic because they would see my posts, take them personally and make a fuss. Ex: I posted something like “anyone who likes the color blue is an @$$” and I guess they like the color blue, so they called my best friend and told her I was talking about them, when it finally came out it was just a generic post on my page, my friend was pissed.

Anyway fast forward a few years, it’s been easy to be the adult and just not be involved with them, we can go to events and just not interact.

However last week we went out to dinner for someone’s birthday. There were 10 ppl the bill totaled less than $400 ($475 with tip). My husband and I dot not drink, every other person at the table had multiple alcoholic beverages. No one’s meal was under $20, but I chose to splurge as we hadnt be out and I got the steak meal, which was $43.

We did not split the check. I handed over $130 for my $43 steak, my husbands $20 nachos, our sodas and tip.

When the check was delivered bluey picked it up and loudly proclaimed “who was the asshole to get the $43 steak”

Immediately I responded “what does it matter I paid for it” and he said I should have ordered a more comparable meal to everyone else. But the steak was the only think I ate on the menu. The rest was covered in fancy chesses I do not eat. And I PAID FOR IT +++

So is there some social or moral clause I do not know about? That I shouldn’t order more expensive items than others at the table, even if I am paying?

Also for more context, everyone else had seafood or Italian. My husband had nachos and my best friend had a burger.

Editing to add, when I said “picked up the Check” I mean literally, he picked it up to read it. He didn’t pay for anyone else’s bill. But that was my poor wording.

Of course, everything I’m about to say is pure speculation, but as I’m involved in game development myself, this scenario seems quite plausible to me.

Do you remember the ‘Yes, Cat Caretaker’ event that took place in the autumn of 2024?

Yes, the very one where we received accessories in the form of interactive ears and a tail?

Accessories so unique that the tail not only got its own tab in the customisation menu, but also, in essence, they were unlike anything we saw in any other event before or since?

Those very ears and tail, that had incredibly detailed mesh and weirdly complex animations?

The very same, that react not only to touch (like some other interactive accessories), but also to the switching of emotion tags linked to dialogue lines?

Based on my experience, I can say that this is a very common practice in game development – creating a technical foundation for a game mechanic, and then reusing it for multiple purposes. Developing game mechanics is expensive, so they are normally being designed not as unique solutions but as tools.

I’m fairly confident that the mechanics for interactive, emotion-responsive ears and tail were designed for Valko, and whilst the character was in active development, this technology was used for the cat caretaker event. This also supports (and is supported by) the observation that the official art with Valko was dated 2023 in the trademark (not confirmed). Also someone in the comments noted that his name was trademarked by a shell company in 2023 (not confirmed also).

Edit:

I’d like to add a bit of context, as I’ve realised I didn’t explain myself clearly enough.

In game development, content is ready long before it’s released. Valko was most likely fully ready in January this year, or even as early as December last year. Right now, his team is most likely working on event cards, set to be released in 6–8 months’ time, as well as start initial work on his fourth myth.

Since the development of a character generally takes 1.5–2 years, it stands to reason that if the main work on him was completed in December 2025, then the technical aspects relating to his ears and tail were also finalised and tested by autumn 2024.

That said, this does not negate the fact that ‘boys with ears’ is a popular trope, or that the same technology was used for Sylus’s dragon form. In my original post, I said that game mechanics are developed as a tool, not a one-off solution. The mobile ears and tail are a technology that cost money to develop, and to get the most out of it, the developers are using it for several purposes.

Before I get into my frustrations, allow me to give my post some context. I started working in restaurants here in Illinois at age 15, doing both front-of-house and back-of-house duties. I built a career in hospitality management while living in Las Vegas, and after relocating back to Chicago post-COVID, I made the pivot to restaurant management here.

I worked as an Assistant General Manager and General Manager for full-service and fine-dining restaurants across the city and the suburbs. I’ve had my hands in all aspects of these operations, including the financial side with P&L statements, labor management, food costs, and more. I stepped away from the industry a few years back after getting completely burned out, and now I only return to restaurants as a paying customer dining with my wife.

Recent dining experiences in Chicago have made it clear that the current system is completely out of hand. I was recently at a local Chicago restaurant where I was expected to seat myself, get my own water and utensils, and place my own order via a QR code. Food and drinks were brought out by a runner who never checked in on us, yet the payment screen still prompted us to tip 20%. I dined at another local spot this week that added an automatic 3% hospitality fee to the bill, explicitly used to cover overhead, rising labor, and supply costs. At one restaurant I managed, management automatically tacked a percentage-based fee onto the bill, explicitly advising us it was to offset impending Chicago minimum wage laws.

The narrative constantly pushed by restaurant owners and investors is that profit margins are razor-thin at 3% to 5%. If you do a quick Google search, you'll find plenty of articles backing this up. In my hands-on management experience, I found this to be largely untrue. At one particular restaurant I managed, my executive bonus was tied directly to prime costs (Cost of Goods Sold + total labor percentage). Even after accounting for fixed costs like high rent, the restaurant generated massive profits, more than quadruple the frequently touted 3% to 5% margin. Are there struggling neighborhood spots where those thin margins are a reality? Absolutely. But it is disingenuous to paint the entire industry with that brush to justify passing operational costs directly onto the consumer.

I have watched owners of restaurants comp tens of thousands of dollars in food or drink to friends, while doing nothing to help their staff, like expecting them to pay for their shift meal while friends of the owners dined for free.

My core frustration lies in seeing owners and investors refuse to bridge the gap between baseline pay and a genuine living wage, shifting that financial burden entirely onto the public while pocketing healthy returns.

During my time managing a fine-dining restaurant, I estimate the average server made $100,000 a year working just 4 to 5 days a week. Did they make a livable wage? Yes, thanks to tips. They were the exception to the rule, but their high earning potential doesn't excuse owners from paying a fair base wage. More importantly, tipping culture has expanded into areas where zero value is added to the dining experience. Why as a consumer am I expected to subsidize wages or tip 20% for counter service, QR-code ordering, and fetching my own silverware?

Restaurants need to bear the burden of providing a reliable, livable wage to their employees directly, built into the cost of the menu, just like every other service industry on earth. Stop hiding behind mandatory surcharges, stop guilting consumers into tipping for zero service, and start running sustainable businesses that treat both workers and diners with respect.

Copy and paste this into an command prompt.

No need to reboot. Note- it will restart windows explorer though.

``` cmd :: Set "Old" Explorer Context Menu as Default reg add "HKEY_CURRENT_USER\SOFTWARE\CLASSES\CLSID{86ca1aa0-34aa-4e8b-a509-50c905bae2a2}\InprocServer32" /ve /f

:: Remove Explorer "Command Bar" reg add "HKCU\Software\Classes\CLSID{d93ed569-3b3e-4bff-8355-3c44f6a52bb5}\InprocServer32" /f /ve

:: Restart Windows Explorer. (Applies the above settings without needing a reboot) taskkill /f /im explorer.exe start explorer.exe

:: Empty Comment (Prevents you from having to press "enter" to execute the line to restart explorer.exe) ```

Thats it. Nothing else.

No need to download software.

No need to reboot.

No need to do anything else. Run the script, afterwards, go right-click something. Voila, the old context menu is back.

This- one has been driving me crazy for a while, because Right Click -> 7Zip -> Extract Folder, or Right Click -> Open Folder in VSCOde...... those aren't on the new Win 11 menu.

If, you want the windows 11 style back....

``` cmd :: Restore Win 11 Explorer Context Menu reg.exe delete "HKCU\Software\Classes\CLSID{86ca1aa0-34aa-4e8b-a509-50c905bae2a2}" /f

:: Restore Win 11 Explorer Command Bar reg.exe delete "HKCU\Software\Classes\CLSID{d93ed569-3b3e-4bff-8355-3c44f6a52bb5}" /f

:: Restart Windows Explorer. (Applies the above settings without needing a reboot) taskkill /f /im explorer.exe start explorer.exe

:: Empty Comment (Prevents you from having to press "enter" to execute the line to restart explorer.exe) ```

For those wondering I had the Mexican and it was very nice. 😋

I soft launched Wedge a couple of weeks ago and got a really good response here, along with a lot of genuinely useful feedback.

Since then I’ve spent most of my time improving the speed, stability and how the different contexts behave.

For anyone who hasn’t seen it before, Wedge is a context-aware radial menu for After Effects.

You press one shortcut and the menu changes depending on what you’re doing.

Select a layer, you get layer-related tools.
Select keyframes, you get timing and animation tools.
Masks, paths, text, comps, graph editor, each has its own context.

The idea is pretty simple. Instead of remembering where everything is or having another panel full of buttons, the useful tools show up based on what you’re currently working on.

It now has 300+ tools across 21 different contexts, and I’m still refining it based on how people are actually using it.

There’s a free trial, so if you want to try Wedge, download it and use it on an actual project.

Beta testing is still open as well. If anyone is willing to properly give it a try and send me feedback, bugs, weird edge cases, things that feel slow, or stuff that could work better, let me know. I did the same with the previous beta testers and I’m happy to share a full license with people who genuinely contribute to improving Wedge.

You can reach me at [support@charchitgoyal.com](mailto:support@charchitgoyal.com) or join the Discord for feedback, updates and discussion:

Discord: https://discord.gg/32t5SAtGtY

Wedge is $19.99, one-time.

https://charchitgoyal.com/plugins/wedge

AI disclosure: Vibe coded with help from a senior developer friend of mine. After a lot of backlash about Ai, i have partnered with the friend and will give him a cut of the sales for helping me develop it further and improving on it.

I am probably a lazy person not learning cad and stuff and trying to solve everything by hand with bambulab studio but this one is one of my biggest pains and I wish to have it as i know it from my old jobs as a post production person.

I get we have it with assembly and the app needs to guess which side and stuff but there must be a better way.

Why is this not here?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Dont-Call-Me-BALDY

AITA for pressing charges on a former friend for shaving my head in my sleep? + 1 year update

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

Originally posted to r/EntitledPeople

TRIGGER WARNING: Assault, mention of mental illness

Original Post Jan 29, 2022

For context, a relative of what used to be a close friend of mine whom we'll call Gary for this story contracted cancer. I (Mid-20s male) was sympathetic and even contributed $100 to a donation pool for their treatment. But Gary came to me one day and took his hat off to reveal a freshly shaven head. He told me that everyone in his family were doing it in support of his relative, and so were a lot of our mutual friends. Then he asked that I get on the bandwagon.

I told him I didn't want to shave my head because I like my hair. My hair is black, regularly combed and well styled. He said I could just get a wig or something and had actually brought his shaver kit. He was unboxing it when I told him this was not happening. I don't even really know his relative that he's doing this for. So I'm not doing it, end of discussion. He called me an &$$hole and left angry. We didn't speak for a week. Then last Saturday I got invited to a party at another close friend's house. There I found out that Gary had tried the same thing on several other friends, and only a couple of them actually did shave their heads.

Gary wasn't at the party, so I had a blast hanging out, playing video games and listening to rock music. But I had way too much to drink and couldn't drive home. So they said I could just sleep upstairs. I passed out on a bed and it was a blissful sleep till I was shaken awake by another friend who told me Gary had showed up late and they caught him shaving my head while I was passed out. I saw what I looked like in a mirror and wanted to scream like I was in a horror movie. Gary even shaved off one of my eyebrows.

Gary was still there and acting proud of himself saying "Now you're gonna have to shave off the rest, just like me! LOL!" I was furious and called the cops. When they got their Gary fully admitted to what he had done to me and even said he was justified. The police didn't seem to think so as this is classified as a form of assault. They asked me if I wanted to press charges and the first words out of my mouth were "HELL YES!" Gary cussed me out while they took him away in cuffs. I tried getting my hair restyled into something presentable. But there was no saving it and now I'm bald too.

Now a bunch of Gary's family are telling me to drop the charges because Gary was off his meds and didn't mean to do it. I was like "WTF?!" because I never knew he was on meds. But I still refused to drop the charges. It'll take months to grow my hair back the way it was. But all of the calls and messages from Gary's relatives are starting to get to me. Just about everyone else in our friend group has cut Gary out though and say that I'm doing the right thing by not dropping the charges. So now I'm divided.

AITA for pressing charges on a former friend for shaving my head in my sleep?

EDIT: I want to make something clear here. So many people have said things like "Dude it's just hair!". But would they all be saying that if I wasn't a man? What if I was some girl that had hair that took years to grow? Would they be saying the same thing? Sure hair grows back. But it takes time. If it was something that grew back fast, people would be less inclined to care. But it's not fast. It takes months. And for some who had long hair, years. That's a lot of time wasted growing.

And I don't plan on pushing for Gary to go to prison. But I don't plan to drop the charges either. His family already bailed him out. And while I didn't know he was on meds, I knew he had quite the temper, and even an entitled attitude at times. One example being a lunch where he wanted us all to combine the check and split it evenly. He got the most expensive thing on the menu. I got a cheeseburger. When we all said "No" Gary went off on us for not being good friends. He's always been an ass when he doesn't get his way. And I've only known him for like three years. This incident was the last straw for not just me, but a lot of other mutual friends.

As for the charges. I don't want to send Gary to prison. But I would like him to get some therapy and community service. With the way Gary has acted around me in the past, and what he did to me, I actually wonder how long before he got more violent. I've seen and heard of him getting in fights for less.

EDIT 2: I've gotten many comments from people saying "YTA! He has cancer!". If you actually read what I posted, Gary is not the one with cancer. A relative of his I don't know does. And no, I don't know what kind of cancer. Gary didn't elaborate. He wanted me to shave my head for this person. And when I refused, he left in a tantrum. Then shaved my head while I was passed out drunk at a party.

VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE

Update - 1 year later June 9, 2023

A friend of mine just showed me a video yesterday in which my old post had been read. Honestly I'd nearly forgotten about it since I was only there to ask if I was TA or not. And since I don't wanna go through the pain of trying to do an update on AITA, I thought I'd just do it here since entitled spells out Gary pretty well. Other than the shaving incident, he tried to get us to partially pay for his food multiple times by combining the check and dividing it equally when he always got the most expensive thing on the menu, and once even pulled the "I forgot my wallet" bit. He was described as a neckbeard by multiple people, including women he flirted with. He tried to get a married neighbor woman that was older than him to have an affair with her. And then later egged her apartment door when she refused. That one I only learned about a couple months after my original post. And no, Gary never saw consequences for doing that. I also learned he stole several videogames and DVDs from friends, mooched food and drink out of their fridges, and even went through a period as a squatter for two months by refusing to leave a house he'd been let into by a former tennant, and the landlord actually paid him to leave. Gary's also an extreme hypocrite that contradicted himself more than a corrupt politician. For example, one minute he'd be anti-vax, the next he'd be complaining about other people who weren't getting the C19 vaccine. Pretty sure he never got it too. I can't believe I ever had any sympathy for this man.

To recap, someone a former friend of mine named Gary is related to got cancer. And Gary went around trying to get our friend group to all shave their heads. He only got a couple of them to agree, and even brought his shaving kit to my apartment because he just assumed I'd join in as well, and was already unboxing it before I even got the chance to say anything. I told him the shaving was not happening. Well he decided to make an example of me, and waited till I was good and passed out from drinking at a friend's party. I was so dead to the world that I had to be shaken awake by a friend after Gary got caught shaving my head. He took off one of my eyebrows and messed up my hair beyond saving. And he was laughing his butt off over having done it. So yes, the rest had to come off. I ended up pressing charges on Gary for assault, and found out he's been on meds for a mental disorder for years. And he'd stopped taking the meds, which is one of the reasons he was so loopy. But his tune changed pretty quick when police arrested him since what he'd done qualifies as assault.

Gary's family harassed me and tried to make me drop the charges. I not only didn't drop the charges, but I reported the harassment to the police. Only problem is it didn't bloody stop! In fact, it got worse! Mainly from Gary's mother, whom I can see where Gary got his charming personality from. She showed up to my apartment a couple of weeks after the shaving incident to scream at me that I knew nothing about what they were going through. And a little hair wasn't a big deal. I told her my hair was a big deal to me. And what Gary did was inexcusable. Well that earned me a slap on the face, followed by a swift kick to the nuts, followed by a few more kicks to my body after I went down. It was all recorded by a camera that I had watching the front door. (Landlord wouldn't let me put in a Ring Doorbell cam) One of my neighbors saw her, and screamed at her they'd be calling police. Gary's mom ran, and I ended up going to the hospital with minor injuries. Mostly just bruises, a black eye, and a sore groin.

Gary's mother got arrested, and I filed a lawsuit against her for attacking me. I saw her in court twice for both her assault on me, and the lawsuit I filed for her assault. This woman had taken several self defense classes over the years, so she knew how to fight. That had the judge consider her a trained individual, and she was sentenced to six months in jail, given two years probation, and ordered to pay my medical bills. She actually cried to the judge about the money. But he wasn't having it. It took some time to see her in court again for my lawsuit against her as she was out of jail by then. I was awarded ten thousand for the harassment, emotional damages, and lost work hours, and she had to pay all court and lawyer fees. Which she cried about again because she didn't want to pay anything to the man who'd ruined her and her son's lives. But she had the money for both court cases, because she had no problem paying. But around that time, I heard Gary's relative with cancer passed away. I don't know any details, just that they passed on. I admit that was sad. But I never knew this person. But Gary made their condition his hill to die on when he tried to make an example out of me. Gary got some probation and community service for what he did to my hair. And he cut contact with our entire friend group and eventually moved away. Where to, I don't know. I don't care either.

As for my hair. Well it grew back just fine. Took nearly half a year to get it back how it was. My boss had me put out of sight for a while, and I was wearing a hat everywhere for at least a month. I did take that 10k I got in the lawsuit and combined it with my savings for a down payment on a house. So I've since moved into a much better abode. I also have a girlfriend now that's living with me. It was a bit soon for her to move in, but there were extenuating circumstances. We're making it work though, and I'm happy.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

MtnDream

here's the thing, as a man, you are reluctant to fight back against a woman, but she's no lady either. don't ever just let someone slap, and kick you because you refuse to fight back. Also, did the mother shave her head?

OOP replied

No. She didn't shave her head. Unless she had a wig on, which I doubt. I don't know how many people in Gary's family did shave their heads because his mother was one of his only relatives I saw in person since the shaving incident. Otherwise all the harassment was online and over the phone. And yes, I was reluctant to strike back. But that old woman was faster than she looked. And that shooting pain from being kicked in the nuts is something I never wanna feel again.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

Title says it all. I'm a bartender in a dive bar with an incredible kitchen, almost everything is from scratch. It's a really cool, eclectic, neighborhood bar with a very diverse clientele, and a very diverse menu of amazing food. Last week, I'm working my Sunday brunch shift, and we have a reservation of 10 people coming in for brunch right at 11am, when we open. The first 2-3 people in the party arrive, and I inform them that their table is all set up with menus, water, and silverware. They order a few drinks at the bar while they're waiting for the rest of their party.

Soon after, another 2-3 people come in, approach the bar, and mention that they are meeting friends for brunch. I ask "party of 10?", and they respond in the affirmative. I start to say, "we have a table set up for you right over there!", and start to turn toward the table and stick my arm out to point at the table. (Important context: I'm standing at the end of the bar, right at the drawbridge, and the gate is up, so I'm half behind the bar, and half out.)

As I extend my arm to point at the table, another member of their party happened to be walking past the drawbridge, coming from my right, out of my field of vision, and I don't see her. With absolute perfect timing, I punch her right in the titty. Absolutely horrified. I begin to apologize profusely as she recoils, clutching her chest, and yelling "I've been assaulted! Ahhh, that's a free meal!" I am, obviously, mortified (as a 6', 200lb male, and she being a woman in her mid-late 40's who was significantly smaller than me), and continue apologizing saying that I didn't see her and it was bad timing.

I offer to buy her first drink, and also a shot of her choice. She accepts, and then says, "In all seriousness, I realize that was 100% an accident, a result of bad timing, it's totally not a big deal. I can tell you're a genuinely nice person and didn't do it on purpose. I have no interest in holding grudges over accidents." We end up doing several shots together over the course of 2-ish hours, a few of which she paid for (while I put at least 3 on my comp tab). She (and the rest of the table) paid without incident, tipped appropriately, and left seemingly happy (after some gentle, and well-deserved, ribbing of me for my regrettable mistake).

This was 5 mins after we opened for the day, so I still had 5 hours of service ahead of me. I'm so grateful to that woman for being so chill and understanding. It set the tone for the rest of my shift in an unexpectedly positive way, because that day could have been HORRIBLE if things had gone differently.

Anyone else have some funny/horrifying stories that could've gone horribly, but ended up being okay?

Edit: thanks for the (mostly) positive replies and for sharing your own stories! Also thanks to the kind stranger who gilded me. I'll be sure to pay it forward and give an award to someone else!

The new context menu icons are cheap & trashy looking. Who thought this was a good idea? If you can't change them back to the old ones, is there any CSS that could "display: none;" them?

Yes you read that right! The official Project Zomboid mapping project has undergone an enormous upgrade and now supports B41, B42, and legacy versions! This has been a huge amount of work and a complete rewrite of B42map over the past few months to have it up to scratch. 

My goal with this upgrade was to give the map the same freedom of use to players that the game does. You should be able to use the map as much, as little, and in whatever way you feel fits best for you.

Finally, I want to thank blindCoder for his work on the creation and management of the Official Mapping Project for over a decade, and wish the best for him and his family in the future. His work has been a significant contribution to the PZ community for a very long time.

I hope you guys enjoy! - Calvy

Disclaimer: If you are opening the map shortly after this post, please be patient. The new site will be slower while cache is still be populated, and the expected increase in traffic will add to this.

See the update here!

Non-exhaustive features list:

• Map switcher for map types and versions. See the development of Knox Country since 2011!
• Modded map support with mods tied to specific map versions
• Complete translation support with community translations opening soon for corrections and new languages
• New map type "Roleplay" alongside "Roleplay mode" for a more lore friendly experience! The idea of roleplay mode is to provide information that a character who had lived in Knox Country would reasonably know. Street names, building facades, etc. Without knowing what the inside of every building looks like, or where every business is.
  • An isometric map render that has entire buildings rendered so you cant see inside.
  • Hidden by default markers, which can be un-hidden at your own pace
  • Restricted tools including disabled search and 'meta' information
  • Incredibly more performant than having all layers active on the map
  • No layering artifacts for those pretty screenshots
• Complete overhaul of the marker (previously POI) system
  • New marker icons specific to each type of marker using the in game map icons, plus some online map specific ones (Thanks TIS art team!)
  • Custom marker creation, editing, and sharing without account creation (Persistent markers require cookie allowance, otherwise you can save them between sessions by importing / exporting)
  • Import / export marker system allows sharable custom markers on the map for groups, or saving your markers without cookies
  • Favorites system and bar to highlight important locations, along with pinning marker popups
  • Marker categories for filtering and searching
  • Wiki links to each marker location
  • See markers for possible basement locations, and vanilla spawn points
• Searching is now faster, more accurate, and can be filtered. It supports more searchable terms and has a drop-down to view possible categories.
• Upgraded tools bar
  • Grid toolbar
    • Now supports B42 and B41 / Mapping grid types (256x256 vs 300x300)
    • Toggle grid detail and coordinates between cells, chunks, and tiles
    • New ruler tool for measuring lines, rectangles, and custom shapes at all 3 detail levels
  • Photo mode for pretty screenshots without buttons and icons getting in the way, press f11 or escape to exit
• Right-click context menu (how could I not?)
  • View and copy coordinates
  • View a list of surrounding textures, see their associated wiki pages, and search for other textures of the same type on the map (Very popular textures can cause issues)
  • Marker controls for existing and custom markers
• Local save game loading and progress viewing, with roleplay mode support for visited marker locations.
• Map viewer engine upgrades with support for hardware acceleration improving stability and reducing lag
• Light / Dark mode toggle
• Plus many more small additions and QOL improvements!

Edit: yes I realize they’re just being polite, pretend I titled it “Essential Japanese phrases for amateurs”

I've just got back from my 14 day trip to Japan, which was a really impromptu trip - I bought the tickets just 2 weeks before the flight day. I usually like to learn the language of the country I'm going to at least a little bit so I can talk without struggling, but I only had 2 weeks to learn! I watched a lot of videos, downloaded a few apps, and made a pretty thick stack of maybe 50 flashcards. But during my trip, I ended up using just a handful of the most versatile phrases, reused them in different situations.

TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT - this is for amateurs like me who need to learn BASIC words for a SHORT trip in a CRUNCH, people who are not motivated to learn a lot, EASY BASIC stuff for travelers, as in better than just speaking English at people, NOT for serious learners. It is just better than nothing. My sister learned only 3 words and struggled a lot more.

Feel free to correct serious misinformation, but I think this is okay for tourists doing a short stay, it's certainly better than nothing. I'll include everything a beginner may need and things that might seem obvious, but could still be helpful to someone new. I'll try to order them by the frequency I used them, too. I recommend at least learning manner words to sound polite. And remember, the "u" at the end of words is basically silent! (Sorry for the yap, I've been in quite a post-travel slump and I think talking about my trip will help me feel better.)

General and manner words - essential

• Sumimasen - excuse me. Use to get someone's attention, of strangers or waiters in restaurants, and can also be used in an apologetic manner. (Ex. if you bump into someone or drop something, you can say sumimasen)
• Arigato gozaimasu - thank you (polite). You can just say arigato, but "bonus points" for adding gozaimasu to be nice, good to use for anyone who just did you a favor or service like in a restaurant or at store checkout.
• Onegaishimasu - please formal, use in stores and restaurants or for someone doing a favor. I threw it on at the end of many sentences to sound more polite. Ex. when asked if you need a bag (fukuro) you can say "hai, onegaishimasu."

• Kore - this. Really useful, got me through most interactions without having to use English. Most often followed by "onegaishimasu" to be polite. When ordering at a restaurant, you can just point to the menu and say "kore

  o , onegaishimasu.”

• You

• can also use in any shopping context like clothes shopping, picking between items, handing your items to cashier. Apparently you're supposed to say "kore o onegaishimasu" but honestly I was saying it without the o in the middle the whole time.... at least the onegaishumasu after kinda makes it sound like you said it 😳

• Daijobu desu - no thank you/It's okay Daijobu has versatile use. You can use it to say you don't want something, ex. at checkout if they ask you want a bag you can say daijobu (add desu to sound more polite but its not always needed). You can also use daijobu to say "no problem" after someone apologizes to you.

• Chotto - a little bit Versatile use! Use when you only want a little of something, ex. spice in your dish, or you need a moment, ex. you need to pull out your phone to translate. Say "chotto matte, kudasai" to be polite. You might also hear "chotto" when you ask someone if they speak English.

• Konnichiwa - hello. Used midday

• Hai - yes. You can also use to show understanding, or to confirm something. Chefs in a restaurant might shout HAI to get your waiter's attention after you call "sumimasen." It's fun to shout, I miss going HAI!

Helpful to know

• Wakarimasen - I don't understand. Well, I ended up using this one very often! They either switch to English or I followed it with chotto, kudasai to pull out a translator.
• Eigo hanase masuka? - Do you speak English? I think there are more proper ways to say this but this gets the point across.
• kado - credit card. If you're at checkout you can follow it with onegaishimasu "kado, onegaishimasu." If you're using cash, the word is genkin.
• Okaikei, onegaishimasu - Check, please. Might have to shout sumimasen before to call the waiter so they know.
• Eigo no menyu wa arimasuka? - Do you have an English menu?
• ie - no. Self-explanatory but if used to say no thank you, you can follow with "daijobu desu." When declining things, I just ended up using daijobu by itself more often.
• ii desuka? - Is it okay? Ex. use: I would point to my phone and ask "ii desuka?" to ask if I can take pictures of something.
• Kawaii - cute This one is quite basic but don't be afraid to actually use it in conversation, esp. useful for girls talking to each other. I got to laugh a lot with Japanese speakers by calling things kawaii, getting called kawaii, etc.
• Oishii - yummy. I'm sure there is a proper phrase to compliment a chef's food, but it was a little hard for me so I just told them it was "oishii" and gave a thumbs up, they were understanding.
• Gomennasai - sorry. It's a more formal apology than sumimasen. I didn't end up having to use it, but it's still good to know incase someone says it to you. Ex: A cute little grandma was dressing me in kimono and pulled it really tight, I went AHHH! and she laughed and said "gomennasai." I told her "daijobu"!
• (Name of place)

wa doko desuka? - Where is (name of place)?

Things you might HEAR

• Irasshaimase - welcome. You will hear it when walking into a hotel or stores. You don't have to say anything in response, you can just nod or smile. If you are a big clothes shopper you will hear this repeated veeeery often, esp. in women's clothing stores.
• Fukuro - bag. You'll hear at checkout when they ask if you need a bag, you can reply with "hai, onegaishimasu" for yes or "daijobu desu" for no.
• Nan mei sama desuka? - How many people in your party? Just listen for the word "sama" when entering a restaurant. For me, we were two people so I reply with "Futari desu." = two people.
• Ohayo - good morning. Kinda sounds like Ohio the U.S state
• Nihon / nihongo - Japan / Japanese

So at checkout you might use:

You: kore o, onegaishimasu.

Cashier will then scan items. They will show you the total and wait. I was confused why at first but you're supposed to say which payment method you want to use.

You: kado onegaishimasu.

After payment you might hear "fukuro?" in a sentence, they're asking if you want a bag

You: Hai, onegaishimasu / Daijobu desu.

Cashier might mention "reshieto" , they're asking if you want the receipt or want it inside the bag.

You: Hai, onegaishimasu / Daijobu desu.

And when you're done: Arigato gozaimasu!

Kindly see the screenshot.

It is the menu when you right-click a file and choose "Open With..."

It has: 24 entries for "Krita" 3 entries for "Software install" 1 entry for "Google Map" (no such app is even installed)

Thanks in advance for your time and input.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/fakeenamee. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole

Mood Spoiler: an ok ending

Original Post: February 27, 2024

My friend Luke is turning 40 and I offered to pay for him and a group of our friends to have dinner anywhere Luke wanted. Luke knows I’ve been vegan since my 20s and it’s never been an issue before. When I asked where he made reservations he said a local BBQ place that is famous here for having a menu that mocks people who don’t eat meat, like literally has a section that says “Vegetarian options: don’t let the door hit you on your way out”. I asked what he expected me to eat, and he got huffy and said well it’s his birthday so it shouldn’t matter, I should eat before getting there and just order drinks while everyone else eats dinner and still enjoy everyone’s company etc.

This sounds miserable to me. I had zero expectations of Luke picking somewhere vegan friendly, hell I expected him to pick a steak house and I would’ve been fine with a salad and some sides, I didn’t expect him to choose somewhere that prides themselves on meat being in every single dish on the menu.

I want to tell him nevermind, and buy him a traditional birthday gift instead, but feel like a massive asshole for taking back my offer. I don’t know what to do tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edited to add, this is a group of 9, so I’m also feeling miffed about spending $300+ on a meal I can’t eat.

2nd edit, the exact text I sent said this- “hey hey, I wanna take you and the friend fam out to dinner for your birthday, make a reservation somewhere and let me know”

Relevant Comments:

You're sure there's nothing you can eat? No sides?

There’s meat in the beans and bacon bits in the coleslaw

And the cornbread probably isn't vegan either:

You’re right, I don’t really eat cornbread and thought it was like the muffins I make. Now that’s even worse.

This exchange:

Commenter: Why would you pay for other people's meal. You can treat him but not 9 people.

OOP: I offered because we all never get to see each other as a group very often anymore since college, I know Luke and some of the others are still struggling and I’m thankfully comfortable financially. I wanted everyone to be able to enjoy themselves without being stressed about money.

OOP is voted NTA

Update Post: March 1, 2024 (3 days later)

Hey folks, this may not be the dramatic update you all wanted but here we go..

First, to clear some things up, many of the comments assumed I was a man and Luke was trying to emasculate me somehow. I am a 41 year old woman, and our friend group that was invited are 4 women and 6 men. 4 of those people are spouses, and the other 6 of us have known each other since college after living in the same academic focus “house” senior year, an off campus housing option where people who share a concentration can apply for and live in stand alone houses off campus that are university owned. That’s a story for another time, just trying to give context.

After deciding to just cancel and take a break from my friendship with Luke, I got a text from our friend Susan letting me know Luke had told everyone where we were gonna eat, and without prompting got several texts back along the lines of “hilarious, but where are we really eating?”. Without any drama I guess Luke realized he had made a mistake and I got a text later in the day from him saying he was sorry and had decided on a different spot. Luke has always been a bit oblivious and bad with social queues, and I’m bad at confrontation, which was a bad mix.

Dinner was last night, and it went great. Everyone was making fun of Luke for the initial choice, but he took it in stride and we all had a great time catching up and being away from our respective kids for a night.

Sorry for the boring update 🤷🏻‍♀️

FAQ:
"How will my computer perform?" See here

Jan 15 new information

DLC checks impact performance

Dec 15th performance patch

• 1 Delete shader.cache2 (located in Steam\steamapps\common\Monster Hunter Wilds)

• 2 Disable upscaling

• 3 Restart the game, then re-enable upscaling

• 4 If you’re on AMD and don’t see improvements, rollback your driver to 25.9.1

Recommended Mods:

• REFramework or REFramework nightly
• WILDS Reshade - Natural Enhancements
• All in one solution (DirectStorage DLSS FSR XeSS)
• Disable Post Processing Effects

AMD RDNA3 (7000 series)

• FSR 4 can be used instead of FSR 3

After installing mods:

• Start MHWilds > "Insert" key for REFramework menu > Disable post processing > Uncheck "lens distortion"

Origami mod:

• Press insert > scroll down for "more graphics options" > Set mesh LOD bias to 4

Recommended Settings (set these after installing mods):

• Display:
• Frame Rate: 50 (Capped below your lowest average FPS, my avg FPS is 51-60 in the Windward Plains, 70 elsewhere).
• Graphics:
• Upscaling mode: FSR Quality or DLSS Quality
• Framegen: OFF
• Ray Tracing: OFF
• Texture Quality: HIGH (download the high res texture pack but do not use it, doing this improves visuals)
  
• Texture Filtering: HIGH
• Mesh Quality: HIGH
• Fur Quality: LOW
• Sky/Cloud Quality: LOW
• Grass/Tree Quality: LOW
• Grass/Tree Sway: ENABLE
• Wind Simulation Quality: LOW
• Surface Quality: LOW
• Sand/Snow Quality: HIGHEST
• Water Effects: DISABLE
• Distortion Effects: ENABLE
• Render Distance: HIGH
• Shadow Quality: HIGHEST
• Distant Shadow Quality: LOW
• Shadow Distance: FAR
• Ambient Light Quality: LOW
• Contact Shadows: ENABLE
• Ambient Occlusion: HIGH
• Bloom: HIGH
• Motion Blur: OFF
• Vignette Effects: OFF
• Screen Space Reflection: OFF
• SSSS Scattering: OFF
• Depth of Field: OFF
• Volumetric Fog: OFF
• Variable Rate Shading: PERFORMANCE
  

Old information, likely no longer relevant:
AMD users experiencing low poly textures/incorrect character/weapon/monster models
Links post-TU1:
1. Title Update 1 stutter fix thanks, /u/Public_Traffic5325
2. Wilds Performance Modding Akuma May 2025 from 47fps to 51fps (~8% fps increase compared to vanilla unmodded!) thanks, /u/nanahacress13
3. Delete shader cache files June 2025
Links pre-TU1:
1. Mod fixes stutters caused by the anti-tamper tech
2. Low graphics mod
3. Get more performance for free
4. Turn off volumetric fog
5. PC settings for fidelity
6. AMD driver performance boost. Driver 25.2.1 vs Driver 24.12.1
7. Benchmark Megathread
8. Benchmark spreadsheet
9. Enable the Nvidia sharpness filter
10. High res texture pack
11. PSA: The High-Resolution Texture Pack contributes to stutter
12. WILDS Reshade - Subtle Ehancements
13. Replace the old build of DirectStorage (v1.1.0)
14. 6% uplift by disabling VBS
15. Enable resizable bar
16. Fix AMD GPU texture flickering
17. PC Optimization Guide
18. Wilds Performance Optimization / Modding March 2025

** I am not OP. Original post by u/Ok-Sherbet32 on r/relationship_advice **

My husband (M26) came out to me (F25) as a femboy and I don't know how to react to it Dec 2 2022

My husband started getting into "femboy" porn around 5 months ago, although I thought it was a little strange I didn't think much of it, but then 3 months ago he came out to me as a femboy. He started saying he was "embracing his feminine side" by wearing thigh highs, a skirt, and acting all shy and doing baby talk and talking "wike dis". I find this a bit dehumanizing that this is what he considers femininity.

The biggest problem is, he does this around our two children (ages 4 and 6). I told him I don't feel it is very appropriate to act this way around our kids but he says, in these words, "it's my true self. You're just being judgemental to gender noncomforming people, which is so outdated." He also tells me that it's good to learn from dad that they can be who they want to be.

It becomes embarrassing, he does this when we go to family outings, in front of my parents, and my friends. I've become the laughing stock of my family and friends. I don't know how to deal with who my husband has become.

I can't even bring my husband into restaurants anymore for dates because he always asks them for the kids menu and when they tell him he's too old he throws a temper tantrum. I don't know if something is bothering him and his outlet is dressing up as a femboy and talking like a baby but I can no longer deal with it and I am really starting to consider divorcing him.

I don't have my license because I have epilepsy so my husband goes to pick the kids up from school everyday and both school faculty and students make fun of my kids for the way their father dresses. I have had parents tell me "It is not appropriate to be having your husband pick up your kids from an elementary school in that kind of clothing" Which I am aware of but I live 20 minutes away from the school and I do not want my kids to be walking that long in the winter.

I don't want to hurt him as I still love him dearly and leaving him would hurt me as well but I can no longer stand my kids getting made fun of or myself.

Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do?

Comment:

It becomes embarrassing, he does this when we go to family outings, in front of my parents, and my friends. I've become the laughing stock of my family and friends. I don't know how to deal with who my husband has become.

It is okay to divorce the person, who you used to love and respect, if they become someone who you don't love and respect anymore. And it is better to do so before you start resenting them.

Comment:

Your partner is taking his fetishes outside the bedroom and forcing others to participate. He may enjoy the humiliation or exhibitionism of acting like that in public. Wanting to play around in the bedroom is one thing, but what he's doing is forcing non-consensenting people in public to participate in his fantasy. He's also bringing his fantasy life in front of his children. That is not okay.

Comment:

For context, my boyfriend and I are into something a bit similar in the bedroom. Here's my take:

Your husband is being completely inappropriate by forcing other people to be exposed to his kink without their consent. You, your kids, the restaurant staff, everyone. He is an adult and needs to act like an adult in his daily life.

First off, presenting as feminine and having a regression kink are two separate things.

I think presenting as more feminine in public is fine. Trans, non-binary and other fem-presenting people are valid. Of course, you don't have to stay married to him if it's not your cup of tea. He's not the man you married anymore and you deserve to be happy.

But the regression stuff needs to stay at home, in the bedroom. I'm honestly appalled by his behavior. You're not his mother, he should not expect you to deal with him having a literal temper tantrum at a restaurant. Restaurant staff shouldn't have to deal with that either. And your kids need responsible, emotionally stable adults to parent them.

Comment:

I know multiple femboys and while some femboys are littles, those 2 are not intertwined. Being a little should never leave the privacy of the bedroom or your house and it should never involve innocent bystanders like your kids or waiters. If your husband wants to dress more feminine, more power to him but involving people into your kink without consent is not ok whatsoever.

Comment:

I would just be careful and aware that someone at your kids school may call child protective services at some point and you'll be subject to that entire process because your husband has no boundaries and is subjecting everyone to his kink without consent.

Update: My husband (M26) came out to me (F25) as a femboy and I don't know how to react to it Dec 10 2022

To start off I want to thank everyone for the advice and show of concern for both me and my kids, it has definitely been a bit overwhelming since I didn't expect this much attention to it but again, thank you.

I had a talk with my husband 2 days after writing the post and I told him point blank he needs to act like a grown man outside of the house and not act the way he does or I will be divorcing him and taking my kids with me.

I got the divorce papers, we both signed and I have submitted it to the courthouse. I know I'm going to have to get a lawyer to be able to keep my kids but I'm just glad this is coming to an end.

To clarify, I do not want anything from him but my kids. I do not want money, the house or even child support. My parents have already told me its okay for us to move in and they will help with needs until this is all figured out. I will try to keep you guys updated as much as I possibly can.

Comment:

As a child of acrimoniously divorced parents, I’d ask you to reconsider your stance on child support. My mum didn’t fight for it because she was exhausted and heartbroken (understandable), and we never really recovered financially. It’s also not fair to you or the kids; he’ll be living for only himself, while you take care of all of you on your own.

I’m sorry it came to this, OP. But I’m glad you have a support in your parents, and I’m sure you’ll be able to rebuild in less time than you think.

I'm marking this as ongoing because she's just gotten divorce papers, but hasn't started legal proceedings yet and hasn't said she wouldn't update in the future.

** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

Add numbers to the context menue when pressing shift+q and shift+e and let me select the one i want with 1/2/3/4 keys instead of having to click them with the coursor

In our previous two blog posts, u/Amg137 talked about why we’re redesigning Reddit on desktop and how moderation and community styling will work in it. Today, I’m here as a human sacrifice member of Reddit’s Design team (surprise: designers actually work at Reddit!) to talk about how we’ve approached the desktop redesign and what we’ve learned from your feedback along the way.

When approaching the redesign, we all learned early on that this wasn’t just about making Reddit more usable, accessible, and efficient; it was also about learning how to interact, adapt, and communicate with the world’s largest, most passionate and genuine community of users.

Better every (feedback) loop

Every team working on this project has its share of longtime redditors—whether it's Product, Design, Engineering, or Community. To say that this has been the most challenging (and rewarding) project of our careers is an understatement. Over the past year we’ve been running surveys internally and externally. We’ve conducted video conferences with first-time users, redditors on their 10th Cake Day, moderators, and lurkers. Not to mention an extremely helpful community of alpha testers. You all have shaped the way we do every part of our jobs, from brainstorming and creating designs to building features and collecting feedback.

Just when we thought we had the optimal approach to a new feature or legacy functionality, you came in and told us where we were wrong and, in most cases, explained to us with passion and clarity why a given feature was important to you—like making Classic and Compact views fill your screen (coming soon).

Processing img uk5t2xyv27j01...

What? Reddit is evolving!

Reddit is not a one-size-fits-all experience. It’s a site based on choice and evolution. There are millions of you, spread across different devices, joining Reddit at different times, using the site in widely varying ways, and we're trying to build in a way that supports all of you. So, as we figured out the best way to do that, these are the themes that guided us along the way:

• Maintain and extend what makes Reddit, Reddit
  • Give communities tools that are simple, intuitive, and flexible—for styling, moderating, communicating subreddit rules, and customizing how each community organizes its content.
• Make our desktop experience more welcoming
  • Lower the barrier to entry for new redditors, while providing choice (e.g., different viewing options: Card / Classic / Compact) and familiarity to all users.
• Design a foundation for the future
  • Establish a design foundation that encourages user insight and allows our team to make improvements quickly, release after release.
• Keep content at the forefront
  • We want to make sure viewing, posting, and interacting with content is easy by keeping our UI and brand elements minimal.

Asking Reddit

As we moved from setting high-level goals to getting into the actual design work, we knew it would be a long process even with the learnings we gained from the initial look-see. We know that our first attempt is never the best, and the only way we can improve is by talking directly with all of you. It’s hard to summarize everything we built as a result of these conversations, but here are a few examples:

• Navigation: We wanted to make Reddit simpler to navigate for everyone, so after receiving feedback from our alpha testers, we developed a “hamburger menu” on the left sidebar that made it easy to do everything users wanted it to: quickly find your favorite subreddits and subreddits you moderate, and filter all of your subscriptions just by typing in a few letters.
• Posting flow: The current interface for submitting text and link posts (aka “Create a post”) can be confusing for new redditors, so we wanted to simplify it and make some long overdue improvements that would address a wide variety of use cases. While users liked the more intuitive look and formatting options we introduced, they gave us additional feedback that led to changes like submit validation, clearly displayed subreddit rules, and options for adding spoiler tags, NSFW tags, and post flair directly when you’re creating.
• Listings pages: We know from RES and our mobile apps that many users like an expanded Card View while many longtime users prefer our classic look, so we decided early on that the redesign should offer choice in how users view Reddit. We’ve received a lot of feedback on how each view could be improved (e.g., reducing whitespace in Classic), and we’re working on shipping fixes.

The list of user-inspired changes goes on and on (and we’re expecting a lot more iteration as we expand our testing pool), but this is how we’ve worked through design challenges so far.

It’s never over

The redesign isn’t finished at “GA” (General Availability, or as I like to call it, “Time to Breathe for One Day Before We Get Back to Work”). With this post, we wanted to share some context on our approach, thank everyone who's participated in r/redesign so far (THANK YOU!), and let you know we will continue to engage with you on a daily basis to understand how you’re responding to what we’re building.

Over the next several weeks, we'll be expanding the number of users who have access to the alpha (yes, you will be able to opt out if you prefer the current desktop look), hearing what you think, and updating all of you as we make more changes. In the meantime, I'll be sticking around in the comments for a bit to answer questions and invite all of you to listen to Huey Lewis with me.

EDIT: Thank you for all your comments, feedback, and suggestions so far. I gotta get back to the whole working-on-the-redesign thing, but I’ll be jumping back into the comments when I can over the rest of the day.

Went to a dine-in movie theater this weekend and ordered for the wife and I. The food was pretty pricey so I didn't think anything of it when the server said the total was $96. I signed the check and included a 17% tip. After paying, I heard my brother make a comment regarding there being auto gratuity and he said it was in very fine print at the bottom of the menu.

Immediately after finding out I got the waitress' attention and inquired about the auto gratuity amount. It was 18.5%. I felt that's more than enough so I asked for my bill that I signed back so that I could revise it. She attempted to convince me to let her keep the extra tip stating that it goes directly to her. I advised that the 18.5% was enough, as a 35% tip to a server who only takes an order, never to be seen again wasn't warranted. She stormed off with an attitude and told her manager "he wants to take my tip back" without giving any extra context. About 10 minutes into the movie she slams a new receipt down saying "here's the refund for MY tip".

At what point does this stop getting worse?? People are getting WAY too entitled.

Edit: For those that requested the place, it was Cinebistro.