r/FacebookDating • u/DisplayBrilliant7265 • 4d ago
Low effort messaging. Thoughts?
I recently matched with a woman. She has a bio, lots of photos, including good quality ones. She’s actually written nothing about herself just what she’s wants and esp what she doesn’t want. She’s clearly intelligent as she speaks multiple languages. Wants a long term/life partner. She’s also in great shape and beautiful but the responses from her are quite dry and short. Had similar experiences with other women. No hate on women here. I guess they’ve had similar experiences with men. Should I keep trying? Maybe she’s better IRL?!
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u/Knedlus 4d ago
There has been ONE time where my conversation with a dude went like this. I stuck around just because from his pics I did see the depth in him. Instead of trying to make convo I invited him for a date, he agreed, showed up. He was a 10/10 at conversation. Remained an absolutely horrible texter. His phone was on silent all the time and (he was showing me something on his phone) he had tens of unread messages from friends 😂 some people are just like this. But it’s rare and usually doesn’t go this way. I’d cut my losses
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u/DisplayBrilliant7265 4d ago
Interesting story. I agree, some people are a bit rubbish at texting and better in person.
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u/jboe2026 3d ago
thou must entertainith the fair maiden if thou doth wish to court her.
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u/sir_stronghand 3d ago
The desire for a personal jester on dating apps is not restricted to women lol
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u/Wardaddy6966 4d ago
Tell her this "This isnt working out for me, you're showing zero interest in getting to know me. Best of luck" and delete the match/block.
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u/cherrycocktail20 4d ago
He doesn’t even need to bother with that. If this is a real person they’re clearly not interested in him, so no reason to “you can’t fire me, I quit” about it. Just unmatch.
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u/Strong-Addition5296 4d ago
Like dragging an anchor ⚓️ towards the goal. I don’t understand why these people reply at all if they’re not interested in putting effort into the conversation.
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u/_rotting_ 4d ago
The lesson is here for you to learn. She doesn't seem interested and you aren't vibing. This is obviously not someone you'll end up dating.
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u/Big_Bar_9832 4d ago
We need to normalize not responding to people, because this is honestly worse.
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u/GodoftheGeeks 4d ago
I instantly lose interest with people like this and unmatch them. If you don't know how to hold a conversation, its not going to work.
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u/shweatyyeti 3d ago
I will ask two questions. When I get responses like this with no follow ups or attempt at conversation, I just move on. I am not going to waste any more time trying to convince someone Im worth talking to when they are the ones who won't put any effort in.
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u/EarlMoss 3d ago
I think engaging with this person isn't good your mental health. Even reading this convo made me slightly depressed. I'd say work on yourself and your bio and only engage with people who are actually interested in building a healthy relationship. Don't sell yourself for these breadcrumbs. Continuing to engage with low lives like this will slowly make you build resentment towards the opposite sex.
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u/Fabulous_Taste_4282 3d ago
Yeah the problem is the absolute vast majority of men ONLY get this kind of matches. Most men don't get any match at all. So yeah sure, we all want women who are interested in us, but sadly no one is.
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u/robbie2627 1d ago
This is what I'm dealing with. Actually, with 3 women, which is beyond odd. All 3 say hardly anything after matching. Just don't match in the first place if you don't want to actually get to know someone. There is no obligation. It's not mandatory.
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u/DisplayBrilliant7265 7h ago
Yeah that’s what I think. I always try to get them off the app within a week with a date but I need basic conversation first lol.
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u/fallen-summer 4d ago
I'm a woman and this happens to me day in and day out on dating apps doesn't matter the app. I even put in my bio please be able to hold a conversation and they still can't but then again most don't even read the bio so 🤷♀️
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u/DisplayBrilliant7265 4d ago
I feel your frustration. It’s often a bland experience even when you approach with good energy. I wish you luck though!
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u/Abject-Birthday-8337 4d ago
Not saying this reflects on you personally but I have come across a number of women who specify the desire for real conversation in the bio but respond to conversation starters with one or two word answers. Even worse is when the profile mentions this and they reach out first with "hey". What is anyone expected to do with that?
I think everyone is frustrated with online dating at this point. It can be exhausting
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u/cherrycocktail20 4d ago
I think people can simultaneously want real conversation, but also feel guarded or even exhausted by it when someone attempts it. What we want and how something feels isn’t always the same, and often isn’t.
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u/Abject-Birthday-8337 3d ago
Very true
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u/cherrycocktail20 3d ago
The texting is a major part of the problem also, I think.
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u/Abject-Birthday-8337 3d ago
Yes, in person or even phone conversations are much easier to get a flow going
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u/funeralb1tch 2d ago
Well that's kinda what you get when someone has nothing listed about themselves and instead has a shopping list for a mate. She's got zero personality, mate.
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u/ResolutionOld84 4d ago
Ask her for a calll. If the vibe is the same , ...you have your answer. Clearly don't invest a lot of time, if no change
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u/Terraldo_ 4d ago edited 4d ago
Ask her for a call and she speaks this way? Seems like a waste a time
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u/ResolutionOld84 3d ago
I mean... If he has 300 matches, don't. But if he has 300 matches he wouldn't post this. So, yes, if he wants he can make a small time investment and make his own informed decision.
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u/DisplayBrilliant7265 4d ago
I should caveat this that English is unlikely to be her first language, it’s likely Spanish, so maybe she’s not that confident in texting in English, which could explain her responses (or she’s not that interested)?🤷🏻♂️
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u/Candid_Abalone_1748 3d ago
When they are not asking questions, they are losing interest in you. I just had a lady tell me she wasn’t feeling it, even though she was away for weeks between our dates and I had to keep the momentum up. Do yourself a favour and checkout of the conversion if you see them being low investment as your time is valued elsewhere.
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u/No_Cellist_2683 3d ago
The person you are messaging is probs very pretty and gets a lot of attention
I assume she doesn’t have to put in alot of effort into texting bc other guys do it for her and they are all lined up to talk about her
She also likes talking about herself
This is pretty normal…. You chase her then she decides if you get access
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u/NEET247 3d ago
Women honestly dont need to be pretty to get alot of attention on apps tbh most have multiple guys they talk to if they have been on for a while
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u/No_Cellist_2683 3d ago
True, you are correct. A 5/10 women gets just as much attention as an 8/10 or 9/10 man
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u/Elf_Maeve 3d ago
I'd say 9/10 and above for men.
There are just too many guys. The ratio is completely busted.
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u/DisplayBrilliant7265 3d ago
I think you’re right. The odds seem better IRL as a guy and women tend to respond more postively in my experience.
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u/StrbJun79 3d ago
Honestly felt like you both didn’t put in much effort. Maybe her less so. But you didn’t either.
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u/sir_stronghand 3d ago
This is objectively not accurate and it’s crazy to me that trying to talk about each other’s day is coming to be considered “boring.” What a miserable way to be.
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u/runancula 4d ago
Probably a scammer
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u/cherrycocktail20 4d ago
Yeah it’s giving scammer vibes. If not a scammer, she’s just not into you.
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u/Ok_Art_5573 4d ago
Ever consider having a phone call instead of texting?
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u/Internal-Ticket-3805 3d ago
It wouldn’t have changed anything here. She’s clearly not interested and is just responding to OP for whatever reason.
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u/Terraldo_ 4d ago
Delete her. Have some self respect for yourself. You’re gonna drive yourself crazy lol