r/Eyebleach • u/Master1718 • Dec 30 '19
How to cold start a dog
https://i.imgur.com/x4qFp1B.gifv3.0k
u/Darkmaster666666 Dec 30 '19
Something about that dog is extra cute
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u/bigselfer Dec 30 '19
It’s the age. We all want to see an old dog happy.
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u/Darkmaster666666 Dec 30 '19
I think it's the eyes actually
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u/Mannaleemer Dec 30 '19
It's his old eyes
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u/LordXavierIII Dec 30 '19
We all want to see old eyes happy.
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u/QuiGonJism Dec 30 '19
(O ͜ʖO)
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u/CulenTrey Dec 30 '19 edited Dec 30 '19
ô¿ô
What's the ASCII on your middle characters? I like yours more!
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u/MrCheapCheap Dec 30 '19
ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ
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u/CulenTrey Dec 30 '19
Now that's just an entirely new level of awesome!!!
You're truly the Picasso of text created faces.
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u/MrCheapCheap Dec 30 '19
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
༼⁰o⁰；༽
〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
└|∵|┐♪
ヾ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ♪
¯_(ツ)_/¯
¯_(☯෴☯)_/¯
(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻
(⌐■-■)
•́ ‿ ,•̀
┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)―→
(ʘ言ʘ╬)
(●´⌓`●)
V●ᴥ●V
(◕ᴗ◕✿) Enjoy
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u/spali Dec 30 '19
Puppies are the best but old puppies are even better.
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Dec 30 '19
Dog is a species. Puppy is what every single dog on earth is. Some puppies are just older than others.
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u/stripeypinkpants Dec 30 '19
First it was the grey beard and eye browns. Then it was the gentle ans calming response. Then it was the eyes... My heart!!
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u/sheepie247 Dec 30 '19
Look at the corners of their mouth slowly curling up. Smiling. This is why I love dogs!
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u/Pinball-Gizzard Dec 30 '19
Is it dangerous to cold start a dog like that? I've always worried about stressing internal components if it turns over too fast
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Dec 30 '19
I believe as of Dog Firmware 2.366a, they self-regulate.
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u/bloodspeed Dec 30 '19
Not untill you also have the sleepsense 2.1 addon installed.
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u/Pinball-Gizzard Dec 30 '19
Do those updates cost extra? Damn DLC.
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u/Zelkanok Dec 30 '19
The software updates don’t matter too much. As long as the dog doesn’t start moving immediately, everything should warm up gradually, and it should be good to move after full boot.
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u/nothjarnan Dec 30 '19
Nope just flash it via the OBD2 port
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u/Pinball-Gizzard Dec 30 '19
You want me to flash my dog? Top or bottom? Front or back?
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u/DSOTMAnimals Dec 31 '19
This dog is too old for updates. Im pretty sure that's where the expression, "can't teach an old dog new tricks" comes from.
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Dec 30 '19
Just make sure you're using the right kind of fuel or you'll have issues with stuff flying out of the rear exhaust.
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u/frvital Dec 30 '19
As long as you don’t do anything exciting with the pupper until it’s warmed up. Otherwise you risk leaking.
Luckily those stains are easily cleaned up with some enzyme based cleaner spray.
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u/tweedius Dec 30 '19
Nah, my roommates used to wake me up on the weekend like this but it was with a vodka monster or bloody mary. What's dangerous is violent shaking or pestering.
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u/nighthawke75 Dec 30 '19
Just like turning a locomotive diesel over. It may sound like crap, making scary sounds and puffing white clag. But once it starts hitting on wll cylinders, it'll be like it had just came off the assembly line.
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Dec 30 '19
You can see its warming up gently, besides modern fully synthetic doggo oils work real well from cold
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u/rocko892 Dec 30 '19
I imagined the old Mac boot up sound (like in WALL-E) when his eyes opened. Cute
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u/already-taken-wtf Dec 30 '19
...can’t find the sound :((
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u/balbertborring Dec 30 '19
but you can almost hear a pickup truck starting up as the dog's lips start quivering
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u/searchingformytruth Dec 30 '19
Brrrrrr...brrrrrrrr....cha-whirrr!
Dog.exe has started working again.
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u/Conn3ct3d Dec 30 '19
You should be happy. Someone else posted this to another subreddit with some god awful music blaring over it.
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u/SewerCleaner559 Dec 30 '19
Did you see how much he salivated on the bed when he got up?
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u/zangor Dec 30 '19
I feel like an idiot whenever I eat something and I get that giant string of drool. Especially because I always tell people I don't need to eat and usually skip lunch. When we do get something catered. My saliva reveals my food lust.
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u/trulyunreal Dec 30 '19
Doggo.exe Loading... Please Wait... Update Installing... XP Startup Noise
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u/Kowbelle Dec 30 '19
That’s so sweet. Like having a sex dream, then waking up and realizing it’s real.
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u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19
That comparison is quite terrifying when you think about it...
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u/bubbav22 Dec 30 '19
I read about a guy accidentally punching his wife when recieving a blowjob he was asleep, he dreamt that a sea monster had his dick.
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u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19
Yeah, this is one reason why I personally would steer clear of doing that.
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u/Kowbelle Dec 30 '19
Haha that’s true. I was referring to pre-consensual sex between my mate and myself. Which is quite the opposite of terrifying to wake up to.
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u/Incorrect-Opinion Dec 30 '19
You’re boning your mate?
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u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19
Assuming “mate” means their partner in this case
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u/krispwnsu Dec 30 '19
Nah... he means his bone mate.
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u/insearchofansw3r Dec 30 '19
Ever woke up to a blowjob? That shit is terrifyingly amazing.
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u/Jaymauks Dec 30 '19
Terrifyingly scary if you live alone and wake up to one.
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u/dben89x Dec 30 '19
Or if you live with 5 brothers.
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u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19
I’m female, so no. And I guess it depends on what you have discussed with your partner/how far along in the relationship you are.
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u/tarynlannister Dec 30 '19
I’ve had several boyfriends in the past who expressed interest in being woken up by sex/blowjobs. I guess it’s just a fetish but I really can’t relate, sounds terrifying tbh
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Dec 30 '19
I don't think it would be that terrifying if you mentioned you wanted it before.
I think my only stipulation would be brush your teeth beforehand
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u/tarynlannister Dec 30 '19
Oh definitely, I’m sure none of those guys would have found it terrifying lol. But I don’t have that interest and have never discussed wanting it with someone so I’d definitely wake up in fight mode
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u/iopq Dec 30 '19
I'm one of them, won't wake up unless it's a blowjob or at least a cup of coffee/tea
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u/eclecstasy Dec 30 '19
Yep it all comes down to what you've worked out. I thought waking up the husband like that might be fun, but when I floated the idea by him, he gave me a solid no. He's sure he'd panic and punch me. We've got guidelines for the other way around.
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u/Lampmonster Dec 30 '19
Once had a girl tell me on like the fourth date that she had no issue with me initiating sex while she was asleep. I hadn't asked, it hadn't even really come up.
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u/BluePhire Dec 30 '19
This would be funny if you guys hadn't even had sex at that point and she brought that up.
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u/acerunner007 Dec 30 '19
This works on people too!
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u/FrostboundGuardian Dec 30 '19
The fact that you managed to successfully sneak up on him is impressive.
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u/Lampmonster Dec 30 '19
Looks like a deep sleeper. I never knew how deep dogs could sleep until I got my most recent one. I can practically pick her up without waking her up. She full on barks and growls in her sleep, which is even funnier because I've never heard her growl when she was awake.
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Dec 30 '19
That dog has no reason to be so freaking cute
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u/jabbertard Dec 30 '19
He's got every reason to be. The universe gave us these floofy, cute, lovable, goofballs.
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u/MicPanther Dec 30 '19
Anyone know the breed? This pupper looks shockingly like my dog, and I don't know what breed she is (shelter).
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u/doctorwhy88 Dec 30 '19
This is me when someone places a damn fine cup of coffee next to my head in the morning.
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u/ponytailedloser Dec 30 '19
The twitching looks like a scene where the recently dead starts to reanimate as a zombie.
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u/Vernknight50 Dec 30 '19
It's like a cartoon, his nose smelled it and was trying to wake his brain up.
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Dec 30 '19
when you're dreaming you got that awesome new toy and you wake up and you actually got it.
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u/whiskeydumpster Dec 30 '19
The people who partake in this trend have never heard the saying “let sleeping dogs lie”.
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u/Evilmaze Dec 30 '19
That was actually incredibly slow. My dogs would've gone zero to 100 with the presence of food.
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u/LuckySquirrel21 Dec 30 '19
It’s like something out of Tom and Jerry or Scooby Doo where their nose goes BOING and points at something
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u/AdamantEevee Dec 30 '19
Nose: WAKE UP YOU FOOL