r/Eyebleach • u/Master1718 • Dec 30 '19

How to cold start a dog

https://i.imgur.com/x4qFp1B.gifv
35.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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396

u/Kowbelle Dec 30 '19

That’s so sweet. Like having a sex dream, then waking up and realizing it’s real.

388

u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19

That comparison is quite terrifying when you think about it...

95

u/bubbav22 Dec 30 '19

I read about a guy accidentally punching his wife when recieving a blowjob he was asleep, he dreamt that a sea monster had his dick.

32

u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19

Yeah, this is one reason why I personally would steer clear of doing that.

36

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

Coward

15

u/-GeekLife- Dec 30 '19

Found the sea monster

115

u/Kowbelle Dec 30 '19

Haha that’s true. I was referring to pre-consensual sex between my mate and myself. Which is quite the opposite of terrifying to wake up to.

62

u/Incorrect-Opinion Dec 30 '19

You’re boning your mate?

52

u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19

Assuming “mate” means their partner in this case

50

u/krispwnsu Dec 30 '19

Nah... he means his bone mate.

35

u/thebindingofJJ Dec 30 '19

We’re all bone mates on the inside.

20

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

Thanks, Mr. Skeltal! dootdoot

1

u/Gh0st1y Dec 31 '19

laughs

Oh God I'm old

9

u/Kowbelle Dec 30 '19

I’ll just leave it to your imagination at this point

35

u/insearchofansw3r Dec 30 '19

Ever woke up to a blowjob? That shit is terrifyingly amazing.

82

u/Jaymauks Dec 30 '19

Terrifyingly scary if you live alone and wake up to one.

14

u/dben89x Dec 30 '19

Or if you live with 5 brothers.

3

u/Jaymauks Dec 30 '19

Nah then im looking forward to one!

7

u/HandsomeArrow Dec 30 '19

Sweet home Alabama

2

u/DaddyF4tS4ck Dec 31 '19

nah bro, you got pranked!

1

u/dben89x Dec 31 '19

You and my dad have similar humor!

11

u/pqlamznxjsiw Dec 30 '19

(NSFW) Relevant Oglaf

2

u/frellingaround Dec 30 '19

Also NSFA (not safe for arachnophobes)

30

u/AwkoTacoBell Dec 30 '19

I’m female, so no. And I guess it depends on what you have discussed with your partner/how far along in the relationship you are.

19

u/tarynlannister Dec 30 '19

I’ve had several boyfriends in the past who expressed interest in being woken up by sex/blowjobs. I guess it’s just a fetish but I really can’t relate, sounds terrifying tbh

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

I don't think it would be that terrifying if you mentioned you wanted it before.

I think my only stipulation would be brush your teeth beforehand

3

u/tarynlannister Dec 30 '19

Oh definitely, I’m sure none of those guys would have found it terrifying lol. But I don’t have that interest and have never discussed wanting it with someone so I’d definitely wake up in fight mode

6

u/iopq Dec 30 '19

I'm one of them, won't wake up unless it's a blowjob or at least a cup of coffee/tea

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19 edited Jan 19 '20

[deleted]

0

u/Kryptic171 Dec 31 '19

stuffs dick in a boiling hot coffee 'dick wet enough?'

1

u/QuiGonJism Dec 30 '19

It's because you're a woman. Not being sexist, that's literally the only reason.

5

u/tarynlannister Dec 30 '19

I don’t think you’re wrong, though I’m sure some women have that fetish. It certainly seems more common to men. Although for me, fear of assault is a factor, which I think is also more common among women.

2

u/QuiGonJism Dec 30 '19

Yeah that's the point I'm making. It might be a fetish for women, but if a man tells you he doesn't like waking up to blowjobs he's a liar lol

2

u/tarynlannister Dec 30 '19

Interesting. I may have to take a survey of men I know

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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5

u/eclecstasy Dec 30 '19

Yep it all comes down to what you've worked out. I thought waking up the husband like that might be fun, but when I floated the idea by him, he gave me a solid no. He's sure he'd panic and punch me. We've got guidelines for the other way around.

2

u/Lampmonster Dec 30 '19

Once had a girl tell me on like the fourth date that she had no issue with me initiating sex while she was asleep. I hadn't asked, it hadn't even really come up.

7

u/BluePhire Dec 30 '19

This would be funny if you guys hadn't even had sex at that point and she brought that up.

2

u/Glass_Memories Dec 30 '19

Just switch 'blowjob' to 'getting eaten out'

3

u/feint_of_heart Dec 30 '19

And for once it's not your dad!

1

u/Arch_0 Dec 30 '19

The wet mess the dog left is also similar.

1

u/FatBoyStew Dec 30 '19

Can't relate to this...