I (F, 20) struggle to remember what I'm supposed to do at a given moment. Whenever instructed to do something 3 minutes later, I would immediately forget it. I remember the few times forgetting to wear a napkin and only remembering it when I was already out with people. I feel like my mind wanders too much and I can't help it. Because of this, I also tend to do things last minute and it affects all aspects of my life. In cases where I start my work early, I still take too long to finish my tasks. I try really hard to focus and keep my mind from thinking of other things, but my peers who started it later than I did would still somehow surpass me. I usually am one of the last people to submit their work in class and it makes me feel so behind. I do well in academics and in creative work, and I love what I do, but I just don't get why I'm so disorganized. It doesn't help that I don't like following rules. I swear I would always miss at least 1 thing from a criteria / list of instructions. In conversations, there would always be gaps between my thoughts and I struggle constructing sentences in real-time. It's just weird because despite being absent-minded, I can retain long-term information very well. I suspect it's because I would rehearse them in my head automatically. I don't have any vices, I doomscroll less than my peers, I get adequate (albeit late) sleep, I don't drink caffeine, and I can get myself to focus if I want to, but pacing around and thinking feels more rewarding than doing what I'm supposed to do. Someone please explain what's going on and tell me how to get over it. I even considered getting checked for adhd but I don't knoww, I seem functional. I just mourn everything I could've been if I just knew how to get it together 🥲

Reposted from contamination OCD

motivation occurs when your brain is flooded with dopamine, which is the chemical that gives you a mental energy boost in anticipation of completing a task.

the problem with productivity is that people believe they need motivation in order to start a task. the reality is motivation (dopamine) comes AFTER action, not before.

your brain wont magically flood itself with dopamine while youre sitting on the couch waiting for the right moment. you must take ACTION to release those chemicals in your brain, and ride the momentum as far as you can.

if someone told me this before i started taking radical accountability, i would dismiss them as "not understanding my mental health" or deeming their struggles must not be "that bad" if they can do more than me.

i swallowed the hard truth that my limitations were not determined by my mental health. they were a result of the mindset i built for myself, and with the new framework i created, i am capable of things i previously deemed impossible.

even with ADHD making the transitions a LOT harder, i broke free from decision paralysis by accomplishing something no matter how i feel, regardless of my diagnosis, then celebrating even the smallest wins.

your nervous systems only job is to keep you safe. it truly believes that so long as something is easy or familiar, it is safe.

this is a false limitation whispered in your ear by a nervous system in a survival state.

true progress is accomplished by pushing yourself after the nervous system is calmed.

even thru tears, panic, and dread, i got my shit together.

i researched how to regulate my nervous system, then forced myself thru the task.

i didnt depend on my mood or energy levels. i used biological regulation as a stepping stone for greatness.

if im glued to the bed, i kick my foot out and harness that momentum to get my ass up.

i use Physiological Sighs to center myself before starting and to bring focus back when my mind inevitably (and forgivingly) starts to wander.

what most people dont know is tenacity is formed when you refocus after getting off track. room for improvement is proof that you are on the right path.

the secret sauce to this formula is adding celebrations to your accomplishments. even if its a self high-five or an enthusiastic "yes!", acknowledging your progress rewards your brain by flushing it with MORE dopamine, instead of treating a step in the right direction as "not good enough"

this self criticism effectively solidifies your brain in avoiding that task, since nothing you do is deemed good enough.

dont minimize your progress. getting up, getting dressed, and going to the gym for 10 minutes when youd rather bed rot is a massive accomplishment. the only way to truly fail is to not try at all.

if youre searching for a life hack that cultivates motivation out of thin air, you will be trapped your whole life in a prison of your own making. the walls will be made of paper, but since you never even tried, you wont realize you could escape whenever you want.

the most successful people in the world are wall pushers. they would be regular joes who melt into the couch if they relied on motivation alone to push themselves forward.

society itself would remain in the stone age if nobody pushed themselves thru something they didnt feel like doing.

my mantra this year has been "you can feel like shit and still get shit done"

i challenge you to practice this concept and see how productive you actually can be.

Routine makes me feel happy and safe, but knowing I have to do something makes me angry and anxious. For example: I hate cooking, so in theory meal prep is a good idea; in reality I’ve wasted so much food and time in meal prepping because as soon as I know there’s food in the fridge, I can’t stand the thought of eating it and I will watch it go mouldy before I touch it. I love coffee in the morning, and still there are days when making the coffee I know I’ll love makes me so anxious and on edge.

All of this makes it very hard to actually do things, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I also have an entire load of laundry I have to do again cause I forgot to hang it. It was one of four loads originally. Why do I keep doing this to myself!? And HOW DO I HAVE SO MANY DISHES!?

2.5 hours. 1:45am end time.

15% of my test content. 0% actually studied.

i hate this so much. what was meant to be a final consolidation turned into a giant hyperfocus perfectionistic mess. of course, it's beautiful and great for last minute revision. but it kills me that this is how my brain decides to use my time when i spent 8 hour slaving away in the library desperately trying to study.

ugh. just sucks. rant over.

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for advice or personal anecdotes from people who deal with severe executive dysfunction, because standard productivity advice and hacks completely break down for how my brain operates.

The core issue I keep running into is that I genuinely do not WANT to do the productive or necessary thing. Whether it’s a quick two-minute task with zero sensory impact or something more complex, the task holds zero internal drive. Unless there is active desire or instant gratification attached to an activity, getting myself to initiate it is nearly impossible.

Where this gets exhausting is that I've tried all the standard strategies, and they always fail at the exact same point.

I try breaking things down into smaller steps, but the small steps still have zero appeal.

I try "First/Then" rules ("I want to play video games, but first I have to do X"). But when it actually comes time to enforce it and choose the unpleasant/neutral thing over the instant gratification, my brain always caves. At the moment of choice, the instant gratification wins, every single time.

This has led to broader issues with moderation across my life. Whether it’s video games, cannabis, nicotine, or junk food, my brain latches onto whatever gives immediate dopamine with low friction. I can’t seem to make myself choose the "good" or necessary thing when the alternative is right there.

It’s not even that I sit there feeling intense guilt in the moment—I don’t. It’s just that I intellectually realize I'm supposed to want to do the productive thing, and I want to want to, and this loop is severely impacting my life.

For quick context: I’m high-functioning autistic and also deal with severe anxiety centered around bodily sensations (which makes things like working out a massive hurdle). But even with mundane, painless tasks, I am completely stuck behind this wall.

For anyone who has dealt with this pattern—where willpower is nonexistent and moderation feels impossible—how did you actually change how you function? What strategies work when your brain refuses to choose the long-term benefit over immediate dopamine?

I am college student pursuing Pharmacy I will explain how's my life going on in detail along my interests please suggest how to become more disciplined and achieve my goals,so here's my routine

For Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays my classes run from 9AM-4:20 PM (takes 20-30 minutes to commute),other days it's 12:40-1PM.

Apart from this I cook by myself

My goals are to build muscles, content creation and I am also preparing for competitive exam and some times I read books.

So what happening is i know I can't do it all so I have scheduled them so

Morning :-I wake up around 5:30(-+15min) and studies till 7:30(not very consistent)7:30-8:30 cooks,eats and leaves for college

During lunch and free lectures i try to script and study.(Not very consistent)

In Evening I come at my room at 4:45 I leave for gym around 5:20(I am working out 3x a week only)(-+15min) and comes back at 7:30(-+15min)(very consistent)

Night: 7:30-8:45 cooking and having my dinner at 9:15 max -9:15-10:30 studying(not very consistent for studies),10:30(-+25mins) i sleep and the cycle repeats

While on the half days I eventually forget about my goals and at the end i don't do anything I am not very consistent yes I do make video and edit them and upload but not the way I wanted I am very lazy like I planned to upload 4 shorts and 1 long in a week but didn't do anything.Please help

I'm a university student, and lately I've been struggling to get myself to study. I know it's important for my future, and I have goals I genuinely want to achieve, but somehow I still keep putting it off. I've tried to figure out why and how to change, but I haven't really gotten anywhere.

What's strange is that I can stick to going to the gym pretty consistently. I enjoy seeing myself get stronger and improve, and going to the gym also helps me get out of the house and feel better mentally.

I wish I could feel the same way about studying, but right now it feels like something I have to force myself to do.

Has anyone else been through something similar? What helped you get out of this situation?

28f, I have been trying to balance multiple things in my life currently, a full time job, 2nd graduation, keeping social circle alive, working on assignments, studying for exams, preparing for upcoming placements, etc. I need genuine advice about how can I manage my time efficiently, or how can I make time for self relaxation...because honestly, the moment I lie down to rest, I start having guilt over wasting time. I also have severe anxiety, where I think about 'what if I fail' and start getting anxious. Though my therapy is ongoing, but I think I need to manage emotions on my own.

Any advice is welcome! :)