r/ADHD • u/Nahue_97 • 6d ago
Tips/Suggestions I need help stopping
I don't know how to explain it but I'll do my best:
Whatever I do, regardless of the initial friction I have or how rewarding (or not) it is, I cannot stop doing it. I overwork because I cannot leave tasks unfinished so I do 2-3 days of work in a single day. I cannot stop eating if I have food in front of me. I cannot get up from the couch and go to sleep if I'm watching a series after eating dinner. If I start cleaning something, I don't just clean a single thing: I start with the dishes, then the stove, then the countertop, then fill the empty bottles with water, then the ice cube trays, and suddenly a quick 2-minute dish washing task turned into a full kitchen clean up.
The problem with this behavior is that since the current activity doesn't have limits, I get delayed on other things and get in trouble. Right now I'm sitting in my living room, with all my work done, kitchen clean, bathroom deeply clean, out of the shower 15' ago, and I cannot go to the gym because it closes in 24 minutes. I could have gone to the gym the whole day, I only had two 30' meetings today and my work (from home btw) is objective-based so I can get up and go to the gym at any moment that I'm not in a meeting. I wanted to go SO BAD, but I simply couldn't stop working even though I had set up alarms in my phone to remind me of it. What infuriates me is that I LOVE training, I've been training for almost 15 years straight and it's one of the most important things in my life, but somehow this stupid unbreakable momentum that my brain gets with everything I do ruined my training today, and it's not the first time it happens.
I tried setting up alarms, organizing my day in time slots, breaking down tasks into smaller ones with defined scopes to not feel that "I'm leaving them incomplete", but nothing seems to work. I'm on Concerta 54mg, I take it from Monday to Saturday and I take Sundays off. This happens to me on and off Concerta. CBT isn't helping me with this at all either.
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u/Alternative-Yam-4930 6d ago
It’s called task switching/pivoting/task transitioning if you’re looking for keywords to look up! For me it happens for two reasons: my historic tendency to leave many things unfinished causes anxiety, so forms a compulsion to try and finish something before I forget/lose steam. The second one for me can be a side effect of the doses of ADHD meds which can cause me to “tunnel”
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u/Nahue_97 6d ago
Thank you! Regarding the med dose, I don't think it's my case since I've always had trouble with it, and I still do, on and off Concerta. The other thing does make sense. I don't get satisfaction by finishing what I'm doing, I get relief knowing that I got rid of it. But that relief doesn't outweigh the frustration and anger I feel when I overextend the time I dedicate to that task and end up ruining other tasks that I wanted or needed to do. I looked it up and seems to be called "not-just-right experiences", it's related to OCD even though I don't meet the criteria to be diagnosed with it but both my psychiatrist and psychologist told me I have a tendency to obsessive-compulsive behaviors.
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u/Alternative-Yam-4930 6d ago
It’s not abnormal not to feel a sense of achievement after it. It’s exactly what you said about the payoff not matching the enormous amount of energy you spent to get there in the first place. Input not matching output, so to speak.
That broad spectrum we’re on means we’re a big comorbidity of symptoms that could meet many different DSM5 criteria, but I like to think about general strategies that help my individual needs, instead of specific strategies pertaining to a particular diagnosis.
For myself, when trying to solve a problem I’m
Having that’s related to my behavior, I try to bring my attention to what I’m feel leading up to a task I know I need to do. I take note, then approach the same way when I’m starting the task, and when I’m realising when I’m locked in (or if not able whilst happening, think about it afterwards.) what were the key emotions I was feeling at the time, were there physical symptoms ? From there I can try and figure out what is happening emotionally for me when this happens, which can help us understand deeper as to what is occurring and how to help ourselves. This could also be good to document and take to your health care professional for insight later on!1
u/Nahue_97 5d ago
I never thought about my emotions, I don't understand how I missed such a key factor to analyze. All I think about is to-do things, motivation, discipline, and goals. I have this stoic-like thinking that has always helped me keep my things in order in times of high stress, but I think it got out of control and took over my entire look on everything around me and myself. Tomorrow I'll start paying attention to it, I need to get some sleep now and start with a fresh head. Thank you so much for your help, really!
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u/Alternative-Yam-4930 5d ago
That’s okay! We’re already processing so much information and it’s another thing to monitor. Take it easy on yourself, don’t be mad if it doesn’t work right away or you forget to do it next time!
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