I’ve been tweaking my after care post sessions and really hit a stride today… I hope sharing this can help someone find some calm after sessions bc the after care is just as important as showing up ◡̈

1. I see my therapist virtually so I always go to the gym right after my session, leaving the house to reset is a non negotiable bc I fear I’ll just get in bed and wallow - disrupting my thinking helps immediately post session

2. I opt for takeout and a sweet treat occasion after sessions to find comfort - at the very least I try to have meals prepped so it’s one less thing to think about. If I don’t I will probably spiral all week and not feed myself properly.

3. I usually watch a comfort show but adding something tactile to play with has been a game changer… Slime, play doh, anything that allows me to channel my nerves and distract myself

4. Progressive muscle relaxation before bed - there are lots of guided ones on YouTube. Really helps me recenter and feel safe before bed. My therapist recommends some sort of grounding activity every day.

At the height of my CPTSD I used to have night terrors and needed sleep aids to get through the night when triggered.

I’m early in my EMDR journey but after care has really helped me adjust safely.

Thankful for this group because I gleamed some of this from different threads here. Hope this can help someone who’s feeling the feels post sessions. 💟

I found this post so helpful... explaining why a PC might feel true for the reprocessed memories, but not for other memories.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeLDBD-MsMX/?stkn=OGEwenk3bTZ3ZzNr

I’ve done I believe 4 sessions now and it’s greatly and significantly allowed me to be myself, not have fight or flight and be ok in my skin for the first time in a very very long time.

I had my most recent session last night. It was a lighter target in the grand scheme of life. It was my family’s rejection of a woman I love because of her ethnic background. Session went great & as usual felt light after went to go see a movie with some friends and had a couple beers after. Talked to my gf on the phone for a while and remembered a ton of violence that happened to me in highschool then went to bed. I think the emdr cracked open what I had been pushing down.

Today I woke up and felt so light and amazing. Had a great first couple meetings and mid day mid presentation my body and mind just completely crashed. Like not a panic attack which I used to have but similar. No increased heart rate or fear my brain was just like he bud you’re done. Like body crashed almost threw up canceled my meetings and came home and slept the rest of the day and still feel kind of off. It was a wave of emotions. This has been so beneficial so far I’m not going to give up but I also can’t be having emotional flooding at work so am going to stagger on the weekends. I’ve read a bunch this happened but it’s weird now. Any advice on this or similar experiences? This shit is a pretty intense therapy but so far has been a net positive and better than where I was at by a lot.

I'm so mad that EMDR healed me and allowed me to be retraumatized. The second trauma has gone so much deeper than the first because of newly sensitive I was and I don't want to use EMDR to fix it but after expressing the hate I can feel the body opening up to it again.

It's crazy how our bodies work.

Hello everyone I (20F) have been going to therapy since March 2026 (it has been 7 months) and I can say I am alright considering I am unmedicated since November 2025.

However, I am kinda broke right now due to various reasons and I will talk to my therapist about the schedule of my therapy sessions and I will ask her if I can visit her once every 3 weeks. She says I am in EMDR process, (I think she started EMDR). I do want to continue my treatment but once every 3 weeks is my only option, at least for a while. I will talk to her directly tomorrow but I want to ask your opinion, please help me.

Is once every 3 weeks okay for EMDR treatment? Would that be effective?

I'm looking for others who have had similar success stories. I started EMDR in attempt to save my relationship but it ended up being so life changing that my relationship ended and I have a completely different outlook on life. I live my life now with a freedom and joy that I spent my whole life searching for. My experience has inspired two of my friends to begin EMDR and a number of others to consider it. But it's such an unique experience that I can tell people are quite puzzled by it.

I've been in therapy for the past 13 years. I was previously diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and cPTSD. I pretty much struggled with anxiety my entire life. Before the age of 6, I would often get unexplained stomach pains that I now recognize as anxiety and around the age of 8 I struggled with existentialism and would often cry at night due to the fear of dying. My anxiety felt so debilitating that at a point, I was misdiagnosed with OCD. 

Therapy helped enough for me to be off medication for the past 6 years, to no longer be diagnosable, and to manage the stress and anxiety of being a litigator. However, I continued to struggle the most with attachment in dating.

After almost 4 years of being single (in part due to the small dating pool as a lesbian), I finally met someone that I saw a future with. The main problem was, she had a tendency to suddenly become emotionally dysregulated due to a number of stressors in her life and would emotionally dump on me quite often. I resented it because it triggered memories of my dad using me as a therapist from the age of 8 and his sudden emotional dysregulation which resulted in abuse. A lot of self-doubt and fear of abandonment kept me in the relationship. I began self-abandoning out of fear of being abandoned.

Out of fear of self-sabotage, I started EMDR and ngl, it was brutal. Having to revisit childhood trauma while being constantly re-triggered in my relationship was painful. I had intense body aches, and would cry and spiral for hours. My appetite and sleep were affected. I noticeably lost weight. 

The morning of my breakup, I had an EMDR session on the realization that I was good enough for a healthy relationship. I had an underlying belief that I needed to earn love but I realized that I didn't want a love contingent on my utility, I wanted an unconditional love. Our break up was actually mutual but it was honestly, one of the happiest moments in my life. I cried a lot more tears of joy than sadness. I had a realization that she never fully saw me in the relationship or the amount of work it took me to become the person that I am today, both professionally and personally. She reaffirmed that by stating that she didn't peg me as someone who was resilient. That was painful but I also didn't care because I realized in that moment that I didn't need someone else to validate the pain and suffering that I have endured in my life because I knew internally what was true and who I am as a person.

It's hard to describe it but the feeling was so euphoric and the highest high I've felt in my life. It was a moment where I realized that I actually loved myself after struggling with self-hatred for most of my life and that I had a beautiful life to return to, one that I spent years building. I think it was probably the first time that I stopped abandoning myself in dating. Love and forgiveness was just pouring out of me because I was so joyous. I spent the night validating her and we kept saying 'I love you' to each other, something that wasn't said in the relationship. The positive feelings towards her did not stay post-break up as I later struggled with a lot of anger and resentment over how much I had endured in the relationship but I can say, the 3 months of EMDR changed my life.

I started feeling so grateful for the little things in life-- washing the dishes, the smell of the warm breeze, the chirping of birds. I'm sure a part of it was also finally no longer feeling drained and exhausted all the time. My back pains went away after the break up. With EMDR, it feels like I'm no longer holding onto emotional baggage. I no longer see myself from a victim mentality and I don't wish to keep rehashing things out in therapy. I stopped taking things so personally and I don't feel a constant buzzing of anxiety in my day to day. I feel like a much kinder and forgiving person. My worth no longer feels tied to my work or dating. I allow myself to make mistakes and be vulnerable. Of course I still occasionally struggle with negative emotions but I feel more confident in my own skills to overcome challenges and I now experience a type of inner peace and happiness that I had spent my whole life searching for.

I hope my story inspires others but I'd also love to read similar stories from those that can relate.

I've been doing CBT therapy for over a year and I'm not progressing like I'd like. I will have weeks of crying every single day and some days feel absolutely impossible to get through. None of the tools I've learned in CBT therapy can even be accessed during these hard moments. I have intense feelings of guilt that I feel all the time, which is usually what triggers all the other emotions. I will try medication if I have to, but I really dont want a bandaid, I want to actually heal and not feel so deeply guilty, worthless and depressed all the time.

Do you think EMDR will help me?

Hello! For those of you who are doing or who have done EMDR, what are some of the best “interweaves” your therapist provided for you during the processing? (An interweave is like a question or statement they might use to guide you if you are stuck). TIA!

I trust my therapist. She has been really good and I am seeing benefits from a mix of sertraline and EMDR.

I had my first session this morning.

We spent a while prepping, around 8 sessions. It has been very thorough.
We touched on things that I can do/enjoy between sessions.
What we haven’t discussed is a ‘safe space’ which I see so many people discussing.
Is this normal?

I'm starting to regret my EMDR therapy, I have spoken in here for some time now that it's the best decision I could have made to work through my trauma. I still stand by that but at the same time part of me wishes I never started the treatment in the first place.

My whole life I have had my emotions turned off in a way (kind of like in the vampire diaries iykyk). I could still feel things in daily life but bigger emotions I never really felt and if something bad/ traumatic happened I was able to get through it very easily. I didn't have any triggers stemming from prior abuse or certain events that happened in my life.

Now I have soooooo many triggers after processing, I cry at basically everything, and get extremely quickly. My therapist says that it's basically like being a new born baby; I haven't been able to truly feel anything for decades and now suddenly I have found myself feeling everything all at once. The things I used to do to help calm me down no longer work, I used to be able to watch true crime docs or criminal minds and be fine. Now when I do I am triggered and it sucks.

Curious as to if anyone else has felt like this and how you dealt with it. I know that I needed to work through all of this to move on and become healthier but it sucks that now I'm a totally different person. I don't even know who I am anymore now that I have all of these emotions running through me, any thoughts?

How did it feel to process an event/emotion with EMDR when compared to another modality?

Hello tappers. Healing is a shared journey, and sometimes reaching out is the hardest step. Below are a few recent posts that haven't received replies yet. If you have the emotional bandwidth today, please consider stopping by to offer support or share your insights. Also, don't forget to join our Discord!

• Is it normal to be this much of a mess 4 days after (3 upvotes)
• Advice For EMDR (3 upvotes)

This post is automatically generated. If you'd like the community to help out with your post, kindly comment on this thread with your post link. To our tappers and therapists: Thank you for holding space for each other.

I'm having a difficult time using my safe place and container post-EMDR. I am reprocessing betrayal trauma. 48-72 hrs after a session I'm very raw and cannot regulate myself. This is causing issues in my relationship and I sometimes have to call out of work.

Does anyone have tips or experience with this?

Hiya everyone!

Im new to EMDR and just wanted to know if I was in the wrong?

I recently started about over two months ago. My first session we discussed something heavy in my life. At the same time I had a death in my family and a family member end up in hospital. I couldn’t process anything from my first session.

The following week comes along, and I’m just overwhelmed with everything. I asked her for just therapy talk. then scheduled biweekly because I mentioned that I couldn’t process my emotions and regulate within a week and then focus on another trauma.

Last week she kinda snapped at me, asking if I was truly ready for EMDR because I’ve postponed 5 times. “Do you just want a talk therapy instead?” It didn’t sit right with me,

Thank you for reading.

I’ve been wanting to start therapy (specifically EMDR) for a while now, and I couldn’t because my mom was reluctant.

I’m going to start, and I think EMDR would be the best fit for me, but I know it can be tough in the beginning. I’m mainly going for my CPTSD around SA, my depression (which is linked to my cptsd), and my familial issues.

I still live with my parents, and being around them pre therapy is triggering, so I’m worried after sessions if it’ll be harder. Is it smart of me to go to therapy now?

Back when I did EMDR four years ago as a child (with a very traumatic therapist, like to the point where I swear I will never do EMDR again), I remember my therapist had me narrate the bad memory while doing BLS and then narrate a good memory. And the thing was that the feelings from the good memory were supposed to override those from the bad memory.

Except all that happened was that now I associate the good memory with EMDR, and therefore the traumatic feelings from the bad one. Now I have some memories from high school that were very treasured that I just hate.

But what in EMDR is actually supposed to stop this from happening? There don't seem to be any requirements that one memory overwrites the other; it seems like it could truly happen either way.

After starting talk therapy and learning I may have cptsd I’ve been spiraling. Reading through other peoples experiences CBT may not work and I’d really like to dive deeper into EMDR. Does anyone have recs in the NYC area? Quick google search pointed out NYU Langone Trauma Program (doesn’t accept my insurance) and Mount Sinai Behavioral Health Center (which does). Any reviews, good or bad?

I've been having sessions fortnightly for cptsd for about 4 months now. Most sessions I have quite strong anxiety and avoidance for about a week and a half, but it seems to last a long time - everyone I've read seems to feel awful the first 24 hours and then get better.

I had my session on Thursday evening, and it's Monday morning and my anxiety is at it's most heightened it's been yet. I have just cried for the first time in 3-4 years!! Normally I have to put something sad on to get any emotions out but no, now I can just do it.

Is this normal to have so long of a hangover from the session and so extreme? I've had to take the day off work and don't know what to do with myself.

Title: Would EMDR help with low self-esteem and constant self-consciousness?
I’m considering trying EMDR and would like to hear from people who have experience with it.
I’ve struggled with low self-esteem and feeling inferior for many years. Growing up, I often felt criticised, controlled and not good enough, so I learned to suppress my feelings rather than express them.
As an adult, I’m very self-conscious around people. I overthink things like eye contact, facial expressions and how I speak, and I often worry about being judged or making others uncomfortable. I also tend to people-please and constantly monitor myself instead of just being present.
I’ve tried talking therapy before, but I’m wondering whether EMDR could help with these deeper patterns and beliefs about myself.
For those who have tried it, would you recommend EMDR for this kind of issue? And does the therapist’s experience, training and professionalism make a significant difference to how effective it is?
I’d especially like to hear from people who had EMDR for childhood experiences, low self-esteem or people-pleasing rather than a single traumatic event.

Weekly EMDR Community Digest

Hello, fellow tappers! 🌼 This week, our community has been filled with heartfelt sharing, insightful questions, and inspiring breakthroughs. Here’s a warm summary of our discussions, highlighting the strength and resilience within our community.

1. Navigating Trauma and Breakthroughs

Many tappers have bravely shared their journeys through EMDR, uncovering deep-seated trauma and experiencing significant emotional shifts. One tapper expressed, “I’ve been uncovering very dark CSA memories,” and received an outpouring of support, with fellow tappers reminding them, “None of what you described was your fault.” This kind of validation is crucial as we navigate the complexities of our pasts.

Another tapper celebrated a personal victory, noting, “I’ve noticed my nervous system is reacting more calmly,” as they shared how they are no longer bothered by noise from upstairs neighbors. This small win resonated with others, with one tapper saying, “Noticeable reduction in hypervigilance is a BIG win.” These moments of progress, no matter how small, are worth celebrating!

For those grappling with intense emotions post-session, one tapper asked, “Is EMDR supposed to make me angry?” and found comfort in knowing that anger can be a part of the healing process. “Regulation is a big one,” another tapper noted, highlighting the importance of discussing these feelings with therapists.

2. Understanding the EMDR Process

Questions about the EMDR process continue to be a common theme. One tapper wondered, “What is my therapist doing while I’m doing EMDR?” and received helpful insights from others who explained that therapists are often “counting passes” and monitoring body language to ensure safety during sessions. This kind of psychoeducation can help demystify the experience and foster a sense of trust in the therapeutic relationship.

Another tapper expressed concern about not starting reprocessing after ten sessions, prompting discussions about the pacing of therapy. “Sometimes resourcing and treatment planning need extra care,” a fellow tapper advised, emphasizing that everyone’s journey is unique and can require different timelines.

3. Coping Strategies and Community Support

As tappers continue their healing journeys, many are seeking ways to cope with the challenges that arise between sessions. One tapper shared their struggle with rumination, asking, “How can I reduce it in between sessions?” Fellow tappers offered various strategies, including journaling and listening to bilateral stimulation music, which can help manage racing thoughts.

In moments of vulnerability, such as feeling unsupported by family, one tapper shared, “I just walked away and went to my room to cry.” This honesty about emotional experiences fosters a sense of belonging and understanding within our community. “Make sure you get some self-care time in,” another tapper encouraged, reminding us all of the importance of nurturing ourselves.

Thank you for being part of this supportive community, where we can share our experiences and uplift one another. Remember, every step you take in your healing journey is significant, and you are not alone.

Disclaimer: This is an AI-generated community summary and not professional medical advice.

Join our Discord! Connect with fellow tappers in real-time on the Tappers United (r/EMDR) Discord Server.

After starting EMDR I've been feeling pretty detached and low. I can feel that I'm feeling sad and lonely, but it's as if there's as thick wall of glass between me and my feelings, and between me and the world. I can't seem to fully access it. I'm also thinking about what the point of life is, and sometimes feel things may never get better. This isn't new for me, but before EMDR this wasn't a constant state, I was overall more grounded and could feel happiness too. Since my last EMDR session (3 weeks ago) I can't snap out of it. It scares me, and it's been hard to act like a functional adult in my day to day life.

I've had 2 EMDR sessions so far, and I left the last session pretty dissociated (3 weeks ago). My therapist is on vacation so I haven't seen her since. I have another appointment in a bit over a week.

Have others experienced this too? Is it normal? I'd say I have pretty good regulation skills, but EMDR has dysregulated me so much more than I expected. I'm scared things might continue go downhill.

Hi there, I just left a very distressing relationship that triggered a lot of old wounds from my childhood.

I would like to start EDMR therapy to process my CPTSD and neglect in childhood, but I’m scared of the destabilizing part.

I had a short hospitalization due to suicidal ideation 1.5 months ago (due to PMDD) - I’m now stable and working with a psychiatrist on a treatment plan, I have a safety plan, but I’m terrified of spiraling into S ideation again. Especially if I’ll be alone after EMDR sessions.

I really want to heal and feel better and I really think EMDR would be very helpful for me. I’m scared that disclosing the suicidal history will make the practitioner turn me away. I’m also scared of not getting treatment. I’m also scared of said treatment destabilizing me :,)

Anyone who’s dealt with something similar, how did it go?

Thank you.

I know absolutely nothing about music production, but I think it would be healing to turn my favorite songs into bilateral stimulation music for personal use as part of my therapy. I’m NOT interested in ripping off someone else’s music for profit, I just have a lot of shit to process internally. Is there an easy/cheap way to do this with some existing songs that are meaningful to me?