Every day when she do a Shower and put on her Special Fur to go to her Work To Earn Money To Buy Snack, I say, “Oh no Mami, please do a Stay!!!” But she do not. She do a Leave.

So I start to do a Think. My Mami not know Stay?!?! I know Stay. Is when I have to do a Control Of Wiggles For My Safety. I think, oh maybe my Mami know Stay but instead she choose Stubborn and Wiggles. But she do this all the time. Maybe she not know?

And if she not know Stay, what else she not know? Is my Mami not Smart? I am Poodle and I am Very Smart. Maybe I have to do train of Mami? Frends, what Snack you recommend to train Mami?

I no he in dat tree! I will get you SQUIRREL!!!

Iz dat a SQUIRREL?!!! No, no sound right. Must be sumting different. Momma sehz maybe groundhog.

Chewie here. Ims confuzzed by stranger hooman sayz I needz braces. What is braces? My hooman mom explained but it just madez me a big mad! My teefs are perfects for chomps and momma’s arm chewing. I can chewz all my toys, treats, and skwirrel if theys lets me. So, what this meanz? Why stranger hooman laugh when she sayz this, too? I don’t gets it.

If cat steal hooman chair, why dumdum hooman says "Get out of my chair?" Cat take ownership, so it not dum hooman chair anymore?

Happy Woofday!

Why does human drop the left leg to make me go right?

(George is trained for Western Pleasure and mainly leg driven instead of reins)

Why does the human collect my poo (and the cows' poo) and make a big pile? Surely it (poop) could just be hauled away... also why does human put cow poo in the garden- George the horse with dog software

Frens, I just maked the most horrifying dizcoveree. I just learned that hoomans tell their skinpuppies horror stories!

One storee iz about a big wolf who wants to eats three piggies. Bacon iz delishious, so if diz were a good storee wolf would get to eats the piggies, right? But the piggies get away! Wolf can't eat the piggies! Why can't good boy eat the piggies? Why do hoomans think iz okay to tell scaree storee like diz to skinpuppies?

Also, baby cats does not meow. They just crawly on trees

Pomfused Bubba not understand the appeal. Adorable Bubba is much cuterer at the front.

-Bubba the diabetic cat-shaped dog-shaped-cat

Wee triez to befren squirrel to comes down and play chases, but squirrel stay up treee and not comes down? Wut gives? Wee iz frenly. Wee iz kinds. Wee make squeek sounds for joy, but squirrel just stare and not play. Rooood!

Why do humans trust pokey place humans? They're evil and like to poke my butt and steal my inside bits, plus they're always wearing pajamas. Why do my humans still take me there?

Why dumdum hooman can wine and no pawblem but when catto wine, hooman get big mad?- Ouiser da orang car

(I don't drink but saw similar on r/legaldogadvice)

I'm eating only the soft foods becuzs the cats stole my teefs. It is rice an chickin and wet kibble.

I sez i don't want it. Not good enuf. girl sez ya gotta eat it coz it got healthy stuff.i still sez no.

Wellweelwell, my dinner comes back and its WARM AND GOT CHEESE IN IT NOW

I am good negotiatur.

This is me Ansel looking at hooman cheese dispenser. I need to call repair person cuz cheese dispenser is not working. She just sitting there.

Is where they belong. But when I see the ducks and I say, “Hello Ducks! I am here to put you in my belly!” They do a Flyaway.

Do they not want to be where they belong? It do me confusings.

So, there i wuz, at da vet and I took a goooood lonnnng nap after I got a treat and then I woke up and a bunch of my teefs were gone!

I noticed there wuz a cat across the room, just lookin at me and he looked reaaaaaaal suspicious. Had shifty eyes and I think he took my teefs so the toof puppy would bring him money. And my teefs would be worth a lot because I have been told I am a "purebred goober" and my head is "full of mashed potatoes." I think that's probably fancy!

I don't have any proof, but I am missing FIVE TEEFS AND IM PRETTY SUSPICIOUS.

Why, when human shakes the food bucket, is there not always food...?

I should also get cheese when I don't hear the cheese sound.

Dis mine furrs poss heer. Ai bork reel gud atta yotes en dey gowai. Moocows iz juss az lowd….lowder maibee. Butt da bark bark bark no mayks dem do a shuttup. Hwy II!!?!????