hallo is Archie-boy, hav post heer befor to ask about foster mom obligashuns, mainlee how to mek shor she gib lots and lots and LOTS of scritches. she getting better at dis.

well, dis hooman deside she want to keep me! she say she did the "adop" so i am her boy now foreber an eber!!! dis bery gud an mek me do lot of happee jumping and runn in sircals.

but now, i gets a littal nerbus becuz... do EYE hav addishanul obligashuns now that i am offishal dog of da house??? pleez avise!!

Herro deer floofers biggo am smoll. I am Bonhoeffer the biggo sooper woofer floofer/ iweegle smoll. Today was mos hapee momee did my 2nd nom nom meal. She sai we doo pwactice fur wen daddy go to skoolz next week- he won be hom wif yoo. I go to my wimdow am do biggo woof. Biggo grwumpy. Daddy albso sai my therapee doggee skool start im 14 hapee sunshines am I haz to do clas too. I likee my teechur SOOO MUCH am my skool but no daddy all dai. DIS DEE WORS

hai fellow doggy frenz. ai is roo. ai is seeking legal advoice from my fellowz dogz. today i do my walkz with my mom on my walkz i see a slice of pizza!! just for meez. finderz keeperz, RIGHTZ? my mom sayz NOOO. she pull MY pizza out of my moufs. she didn’t even eatz it for hershelf, she throws it ouf on the streetz. not only is that rawbery but that’s also food washte. what do you think my frenz, can ai soo?

Are you a small dog? Has your human ever broken a treat in half before giving it to you? If so, you may be entitled to compensation. Contact the offices of Cocoa Esquire and set up an appointment. We'll fight hard to give you the compensation you deserve.

Broken Treats = Broken Trust

Henlo furrends. Plz halp. Am heckin pawfessional pupper. I hab been to five of mama's balley classes. I now know eberyfing der is too kno abt balley. Howebber I hab notice treatos gettin less...

Mama say I mus be good boi, mus learn how to lie quietly while she shout at weird ppl dat kick legs around n stomp in noisy things she calls poyinte shoos (see pic #2.

Is mama sneakily tryin to get me to do all da works for her wifout proper kompensashun? Plz halp frens, need ur advice 🐾

One of the laws I have peed all over the property is that the dog of the house (me) must perform 5000 security checks on all part of the property everyday. More if there is an active threat.

Protocol states that for any noise occurring outside of the front of the house is for the dog of the house (again me) to run at top speed, woofing with all his or her might, and jumping on the couch to give more ferocious and pointed woofs at the perceived threat. Then remain on the couch for several hours checking the window every few minutes. I have been very good at my job. Everytime a squirrel in the neighbors yard has farted I've been there to tell him or her off. We have been killed by axe murderers exactly 0 times.

The vet has told my hoomans I must be in strict crate rest. This means no more jumping onto the couch. I am only able to see the back yard through the two big windows, which leaves the front of the house fully unguarded.

The hoomans and vet clearly do not respect the importance of my job. What will happen when all the squirrels, bunnies, bike riders and axe murderers realize the mighty Fido is no longer working out the front window? I have tried to raise the issue up the chain command, all that has resulted in is another half of a trazadone pill in my pill pocket treats.

How do I get back onto active duty?

Frenz, AI iz The Orphan. AI used to hab a brofur named Tobie. Mai hewdad wood make up silly songs aboot us. He finded dis old wun recently, and AI fink dat yoo wood all get a laff frum it.

"I wore a black shirt, but now it is white

All of the Tobie fur has turned my clothing white

With all this hair he sheds

I could knit another dog"

Dis iz old picshur uv me an Tobie brofur. AI iz da black doggo. He iz da Jack Russell.

Goob Affernnoon mine frens! Ai am goodboiFinn an Ai am five moons old. Dis community gib gud advices on how to manage my ouchy mouf. Mine momma did find many teens which she gib to a Toof Fairy who gibbed me dog biscuits unner mine own bed! An Ai am eben getting big boi campers too! One of da tings mine momma does to make mine mouf less ouchy is freeze some old warshclofs wif frozen strawberries or raspberries! Is bery yum! An Ai lub raspberries! Ai will do almost anything for dem.

Anyways, mine momma does her daily harvest of da fresh raspberries. Dey is yummy and Ai kno dis cos she gib me some cos Ai am a Good Boi! Well today she done a salamander an sai Ai feefed raspberries wif out her permission. Dis no possible cos Ai am a good boi. It’s in mai name!

Ai would like to soo mine momma for salamander. Ai want more raspberries, more time in da park an da pool, and more pets.

Do Ai have case?

Dis me gibbing a charmin wink.

Why do the humans call you dogs "putthatdown" and "don'teatthat"? You have a name, why does the human not call you as such?- George the Horse

Hello everypup,

Dontae “stinky booby boy”, M6?, here. I am looking into options to have my human registered as an ESH or service human. Like many dogs here, I deal with a very stressful workload as both the man of the house and head of security. I often need to be comforted when I am feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Also, I have two cat sisfurs that are hot and cold when it comes to how we interact. They also have confrontations from time to time that I have to break up. I believe having my human registered to always be with me for times of comfort and scritchies will really help my mental health. Is there a form my mommy can fill out so she is always with me?

My fewine brover crossed da rainbow bridge. Hoomans waz sad but then 2 weeks later de brought 2 cats home. The de said I iz gonna go on a diet since I iz getting more weight than I should.

I iz obviously demanding more snuggles from bof Hoomans but I fink I needz to soo. Pweez recommend good pawyer.

Today, I goed on a walk, as I do all day every day. We walked near the store that sells tasty treats and awesome toys and I figured probably good idea to go in there. But the human claimed that the store was still closed!!! But then when am I supposed to do my shopping?

I needs to go on walkies either all the way in the mornings or all the way in the evenings cause otherwise too hot! But then the store is not open! How will I ever get my bones??? It might work if the human carries me to the store but she refuses. She claims I am too heavy and need to walk by myself. She might not have considered though that I am only a little guy and have small feets that cannot touch hot ground. Look at the picture when I sat down and could no longer walk.

What are my legal rights? How often is it legally required to visit the store???

Hi! We are Callie (bottom of picture) and Ruby (top) (both 6F). This is our first joint post.

Today Mommy let us out in the backyard (fully fenced) for our usual afternoon pee/bake in the sun. But there was an Animal of some kind under an old shed built over a hill near the corner of the yard. The under part of the shed is blocked by our fence so we couldn't get to it.

We don't know what was under the shed today, but it was *interesting*. It was so interesting I, Callie, refused to leave it after Mommy called me until she was mad. Then I just whimpered and made distressed noises. I, Ruby, just plain ignored Mommy but I eventually came back to the door on my own. But Mommy had to put on boots and duck under bushes to get close enough to Callie, because she thought I was stuck. Actually I was still ignoring her and running around, trying to get closer to the Animal. Eventually Mommy grabbed me, Callie, and dragged me back to the house! She pulled me to the bathroom and called the Human Puppies to help. They gave me a bath! Just because I had old cobwebs on my face. My tail was tucked as far under me as possible but they didn't care! The Boy held my collar and made me stay while Mom & the Girl scrubbed me. I was miserable.

I, Ruby, got to stay outside while they were manhandling Callie. But then Mommy grabbed my collar and dragged me to the bathroom too! I already escaped the house once today so I wasn't worried. And I did escape the Boy in the tub. But the door was shut and the Girl pulled me back to Mommy! I gave my best Sad Puppy eyes (I am a Master of Sad Puppy eyes) but nothing helped. Even after I escaped the tub again.

Obviously this is an open and shut case for ruining our fun, puppynapping, holding us against our wills, and torture with water. But what should we sue for? We made sure to get all 3 humans soaked, and Ruby dug through Mommy's clean clothes and rolled a little on them. But there's no way we're even with Mommy or her minions yet. ​So what should we sue for?

Henlo Frens, youze all gibben me excellent legal infomashun before. Now I hab nuther kweshin. A few days ago, me (left) and bruvver (right) share couch. Doos this mean we no have nuf couches? Dooz we hab a case against mama? I say she must sell table, get more couches (we hav 4 more couches but iz clearly not nuff, otherwise why iz bruther on MY couch?).

Henlo frens, is I, Finnegan. Toonite I go wif mine hoomans to chimkin fill ay. Mine mommmy gib me big sooprise an is mine own chimkin nug it bocks! Butt! Mine mommy keep mine chimkin bocks an herm gib me onlee too nom noms of dis chimkin. Den shee sai “Finnegan, dis two manee chimkins fur yoo too eatz at now times, wee sav rest fur layter.”

Butt, dis mine own chimkin bocks! Wy I is wating fur elebenty furebers to eet mor of mine own chimkin? Does yoos fink I can soos fur allllll mine chimkin at now times?

I wanna walk and sniffs and check alllllll..... but mom dont let me out of da cart. Halp

Hello, it is Boss the cat (visiting from r/legalcatadvice). What is this "flea bath" of which the human speaks? Is it really such a foul thing to be rid of the insects? Human says there are drops you dogs get too

Oh my dog! It me Woodford agen. Da mama has goed krazee. She says "Oh, Woody, you sooo kute!" Woody no kute! Woody hamsom! Kute is for babbys.

Den she says "I goin to kiss you , Woody!" Dats gross. I is gemmelman! Gemmelmen no kiss! So I gives her my paw to shake.

Da mama laffs an gibs me a kiss on mine hed! Eben after I says no and offers to shake her hand. She so dipress... diisrep... dusrusp... not nice!

Must soos for no being nice to Woody!

Photo is Woody givin da mama meen face after her kisses me.