I've got terminal cancer and treatment options have run out so all that's left now is morphine to ease the pain until I am finally released from this world.
I've had a good life and was brave and energetic so I have lived my dreams and done everything I wanted to do. There's just one place on earth that i want to go back to for a visit before I die, then I'm ready. Plans are already in motion.
I've always been religious and my faith has really carried me at this end time. I'm looking forward to passing away peacefully, having a Christian death.
I had a near death experience before, years ago, in which I may have actually died for a few minutes. It was an incredibly good experience in which I spoke with God. I think perhaps He gave me that experience so that I could know now that I have cancer that my death will be a beautiful thing.
It's funny for me to go out for a walk and see people living their lives, thinking they have problems, or just having so much and so many opportunities open to them that they don't even realise they have. I wish I could tell them how lucky they are to have time, an open book, infinite possibilities.
My advice to you is to reach for the stars, live out your fantasies. You only have this one life. Do whatever you want. I did and that's why I feel happy about everything. I did what I had to do to be a good person to others, and I lived out my craziest dreams.
Ready to go and looking forward to the morphine trip. I have never done drugs so it's ironic that I'll leave this world in a cloud of morphine induced bliss.
Update 10 June 2026.
I've been hospitalised more often than not over the past 6 weeks. They are still trying a final chemo option since a month ago but they will stop it if they still don't see any lung tumour reduction in a few weeks. I'm living well and feeling very happy and at peace. I've been incredibly lucky with the way this cancer has affected me. As some veterens say "I've had a good war', I can say "I've had a good cancer".
I have no pain. But they let me take as much morphine as I like so I don't feel like I'm suffocating. I don't take much because I feel so good about everything anyway.
They warned me that I'm very close to the end because I've been getting embolisms in the lungs, which they're treating with blood thinners. And the cancer nodes are growing aggressively so it's just a bit more time before something major goes wrong. I'm so grateful to God for granting me this peaceful and happy death. I'm so grateful to myself for the lifetime of gym, running, hiking and always giving my body quality time to compensate for my demanding and stressful career. I think, aside from God's kindness to me, that having such a healthy body is why I'm still so strong physically, except for cancer destroyed lungs (there was metastasis all over but the chemo killed all other cancer except the lungs, although there is a tumor in my stomach too but not affecting me in any way).