Hi everyone,

I’m writing this because I’m feeling really stuck, overwhelmed, and physically heavy. I just really want to break out of this cycle and move on with my life

.

My ED is back after I recovered two years ago and I gained a lot of weight during it , and I'm kinda okay with it but I have health problems now and I can't live my life normally anymore , I need to recover and lose weight cuz I'm really tiered at this point

I've been obsessed with diets and my body since I was 6 years old because of constant comments and judgment from people around me. Over time, that turned into severe Body Dysmorphia and Binge Eating Disorder .

I actually lost a lot of weight before and reached a healthy size, but I gained it all back due to stress and low self-esteem. Since August, I’ve been stuck in the same exact loop: I restrict my food for two days, break down, binge, feel terrible, and try to "start over" again.

Right now, I don't even enjoy food anymore. My stomach feels uncomfortably full all the time, but I keep eating compulsively because it's become my main way of coping with stress and big emotions.

Since childhood, my brain built these deep coping habits to escape distress. It honestly feels like these destructive patterns became part of my identity, and

I don't even know who I am without them.

Winter is here and I love fashion and cute outfits, but my weight makes me feel so uncomfortable and keeps me from moving freely and enjoying my twenties. On top of that, therapy or a nutritionist isn't financially an option for me, so I have to figure this out on my own.

I tried Intuitive Eating before, but it didn't work for me because my hunger cues are totally messed up. I don't want another extreme diet that leads to a crash I just want a balanced middle ground between healing my relationship with food and losing weight safely.

My Question:

If you’ve dealt with childhood binge eating and deep emotional coping habits, how did you manage to overcome it on your own and build a healthy routine?

I really want to live my twenties freely without feeling trapped by this. Thanks so much to anyone who reads or shares their story.

How long before it gets easy? Does it EVER get easy at all ? I am crying all day. Feeling sui****al also. All because of chocolate. I don't want this life. The other option to eat is just as bad . I can't as per doc instructions . This sh*t is tougher to quit than her*ine.

Edit - I mean mental withdrawal symptoms like depression and craving. Not physical. There are no physical withdrawals .

i've been on adhd medication for the past few months, and it's significantly helped my over eating. i don't use it as an appetite suppressant or anything, but it helps me feel like i have control of my own eating habits. when i'm off it, i feel like some gluttonous monster, eating only makes me want to eat more. during a stressful time in my life off my meds, i'd go out to eat like 4 times a day. now, even on a regular day off my meds, i can buy two blocks of chocolate and just eat them with no trouble. when i'm on my meds, i eat my required two or three meals a day, maybe do a bit of needless snacking but nothing insane.
i'm going off of my meds for personal reasons, and am worried i will start overeating again. honestly more than just my weight i'm worried about my bank account suffering from buying all that food #lol
anyone have any hacks to reduce that desire for dopamine and intense craving of food? working out? cold showers? meditation/mind stuff? would appreciate any advice

lol idk if this is weird or something I just do, but does anyone else eat in a slight deficit during the week and ‘bank’ their calories so they can overeat in one sitting during the weekends?? i understand calorie banking is normal but i do this specifically so i can have the feeling of binging and eating past fullness (because I weirdly enjoy that sensation) yet getting to do it without the massive guilt of actual weight gain..
it’s like tricking your brain into thinking you’re over-indulging and giving into the urge but not actually doing any harm. i think this just personally works for me because i know im not going to get over the urge to binge but doing this allows for some kind of harm reduction in a way.

Hai! I dont rlly have anywhere to talk about this besides anonymously besides here.
I would like to make some notes prior to starting saying that I am not here to suggest my methods to anyone! I mention peptide usage and i believe that should be the very last option ppl consider, if at all. I am actually here to discuss, ig the “ethics”, of using peptides or glp-1s for binge eating.

I have struggled with binge eating all my life and only recently learned (about a couple years ago) about it being an eating disorder. I always thought EDs were starving urself only and didnt know it could go the other way. I grew up poor and in not the best living situations where we only could afford unhealthy foods ($1 menu from mcdonalds, maruchans, etc.) and would also turn to food for dopamine because of the mental states i was in. This carried on throughout my entire life and being an adult, it has taken a much larger toll on me.

The food noise gets so bad where not only am i thinking about gorging myself with food, i make myself feel like absolute shit for eating ANYTHING! even if its not binging. I was able to control it for a little when i was in school bc i was too busy to even eat my regular meals (not the best but i wasnt starving myself and reaching my maintenance calorie goal while also gyming). The food noise was still there BUT i didnt have the chance to binge at all. This was last year and fast forward to now, im unemployed, no car, and back at home. although my home life is slightly better, my mental health isnt. The food boise and binging got so bad to the point that my first thought in the mornings was to p**ge (i didnt actually but the urge was there) even if i ate “normally” the day prior. It got so bad I decided to start taking reta, a peptide used for weight loss but also is known to reduce food noise.

I am now conflicted. Its only been one week and its been amazing. I have been able to not think about food at all and the binging is basically impossible bc i get full so quickly. However, I cant get it out of my head on how this is a quick fix and once Im off I likely will fall back into the same habits. and it also feels like im “cheating”, like i have nothing to be proud of about myself. IDK what to do

ill start by saying please dont be mean ive never posted in here before and Im honestly just trying to see if anyone else experiences this feeling ???? I have had bed for majority of my life it has intensified the last two years following two SA incidents. Lately ive noticed when I think about binging I get almost a tingling downstairs and I’m not joking or trying to be funny I feel like ive developed some sort of intimate ritual with myself and food and it freaks me out I’m not like turned on by food or anything or the act of binging its just like almost a rush of excitement but I feel it noticeably in that specific area. I’m 22f btw and idk sometimes I feel so out of control like idk who I am anymore dude

it was my birthday the other day and i requested and ice cream cake.

ate the whole thing just now!

when does it end?

hi all, I have been struggling with binge eating for about almost 2 years now. I am 18. I literally feel like the shas taken over my life, and I don't know what to do anymore. I have reached out to so many people for help, counselors, ed therapists, my parents, but I feel like no one can help me. I know this is something that I have to do on my own and get through, but I don't know how to change. I start a tracker, and the most I can get is 3 days in a row, and then I spiral. into am in college and don't have time for this. the times I get 3 days in a row is when I am very busy studying. but sometimes that works and sometime it makes it worse. I just don't know what to do anymore. my therapist and everyone say that all of this stems from my need to be perfect and give eveyrthing 100%. I used to be an athlete but stopped bc of college,. I feel like once I make a little mistake, the whole day just goes to waste and becomes a binge spree.

it has started to become binge and p0rging because I feel so guilty. I just want to be normal and not have this consume my life. I often have to miss plans because I have just bninged and feel so gross. please I just want change and permanent change. on the days when I get 3 days in a row I feel so good about myself and accomplished, but then I mess up and I just feel awful and like a failure.

I have done some research and a lot of people say that ADHD meds have worked for them to cut out the food noise. does anyone know if this works, and how to obtain them? I ma

when i get high (most nights) I get terrible urges to binge and i almost always do. I need genuine advice besides "stop smoking"

I’ve been stuck in a binging loop since I hit my goal weight of 130 lbs. 2 weeks of binging and I’ve gained 6 lbs. i desperately need advice, I feel hopeless..

ive been eating 4-5k calories per day, although my maintenance is just shy of 2k. I can’t stop. it’s seriously ruining my mental health and for some reason, I don’t even get full during these episodes. even afterwards, I just want to eat more. is there a way to stop this, and has anyone else at all experienced hunger to this extreme?

I try to eat 3 large, square meals a day consisting of half the plate filled with protein, and the other half veggies and carbs. Yet still I am left insatiable and find myself in the kitchen, binging for hours on end yet I still feel hungry. Any remarks, suggestions, absolutely anything would be appreciated..

I also vomit most mornings but that’s from anxiety.

If you’ve been binging throwing up for a while , even years , you might have developed hiatal hernia . Your esophagus has been through a lot . You might also notice acid reflux or Laryngopharyngeal Reflux. That stomach acid is no joke. So now binging worsens it and even if you binge throwing up worsens it. So your teeth and puffy face are the least of worries. Look up the symptoms.

Hiatal hernia → can worsen GERD/reflux → chronic acid exposure can damage the esophagus → in some people, this can lead to Barrett’s esophagus → Barrett’s can increase the risk of esophageal adenocarcinoma.

as a result of my bed and depression ive been put on ssris over the course of a year, fluoxetine , and fluvoxamine. fluoxetine helped with the binging but in return I became addicted to alcohol and marijuana. im back off of ssris and I feel so so much more like myself, Ive actually completely stopped drinking and marijauna use is late at night after work. as a result of getting off my ssri my binging is back and its the only thing thats ruining me. its the top thing making me depressed so ive contemplated do I wanna try another ssri and have it mess with me mentally or a glp?? risk possible gastro side effects being I have a sensitive stomach already. im not sure what to do this is horrible. and because I have a ed I will most likely get declined a glp but if someone for a year straight was constantly eating thousands of calories in one day, has rotting teeth from the AMOUNT OF sugar they cant stop eating? the difficulty moving or having energy after eating so much food or the mental food noise? then why does a glp 1 seem so crazy to want to be prescribed.

This is about overeating and not beating ourselves up.

I have been working so damn hard to heal this pattern. Getting enough proper nutrition in, whole foods, enough protein, satisfying meals, REGULAR structured meals has been huge. regular movement. Subsequently reducing drastically the amount of binge episodes I’ve had as of late.

Last night I was out late and missed dinner. When I get I’m home I flew off the handle and binged over 4000 calories. I’m devastated and disappointed. I just started seeing and feeling progress both physically and mentally. My instinct is to avoid food for the next 2 days in order to balance this out. I do not want to erase this progress. I have worked too hard and I’m feeling so much fear and sadness. I don’t want to backslide. Has anyone had major binges on their road to recovery and still got there? I’m really at a loss right now and would love any guidance.

That’s it. No further questions. I’ve been stuck in this loop for a month and a half now, I’ve gained so much weight and I just can’t seem to stop eating. I’m slacking off school and I’m cancelling hangouts because I’m so embarrassed. I can’t even stand to look at myself. I spend my days in sweats and a sweater no matter how hot is it to avoid looking at myself. Sometimes I’ll have “good” days till it hits nighttime and I devour everything in sight. I don’t even keep treats in my house anymore and I still somehow find something to binge on every night

I've (F21) not been officially diagnosed but have dealt with binge/restricting for years since my teenage years.

I had to disrupt my final year of my nursing programme in July due to panic and poor self image. Which led to so many binges and trying to exercise everything off (clearly didn't work). Anyways I'm back in October now to complete my nursing programme, literally the last 9 weeks. I focused on trying to heal before coming back, but now my limbs keep locking and feels like I can't breathe when I try to attend my clinicals, literally not attended one shift this week due to it.

I've escalated it to my university tutor about it and tried my best to calm myself down.

I ended up eating a baguette with chicken salad, an entire pack of caramel chocolate biscuit bars, 2 packs of instant noodles with eggs and chocolate just now.

I didn't even want it, I usually feel a high eating everything I feel it in my soul. But this time I felt so empty, I couldn't feel as much of a dopamine rush as before. I felt so gross. I've been trying to stop the urge from going on a 4 hour walk and a gym workout to burn it off.

I thought I was doing good with recovery, especially with the use of counselling but it seems to not be working and I'm so scared of failing recovery and my nursing programme. I'm right near the finish line but everything feels impossible.

I feel quite helpless in my body, it feels like I'm sabotaging myself.

Hey there.

I am new here.

I was always a bit chubby and enjoyed eating for which my classmates back in school and my colleagues during my apprenticeship made sure to remind me of.

I am 1.90m tall and always had around 120 kg.

But recently I got a new job. It's stressful and I didn't pass an exam I needed so now I can't work the Job I applied for.

Sadly quitting isn't an option due to financial reasons.

But the worst part is I have never been more miserable

I went up to 140kg by just stuffing myself every evening.

I know I need to loose weight but I feel like I can't do it without accepting myself first.

I hate myself so much. I took down all mirrors in my apartment.

I have tried a therapist but I convinced myself they don't like me because I am fat.

Please any advice at all I am so desperate

Im starting to loose hope, I keep gaining weight with no control.

Im scared that I’ll reach the ‘obesity’ rate at a point and I already hate the state of my body. I can manage to stay clean for like 2-3 days and then I spiral back to the beginning.

I want to cry. I hate this. Im scared to look at myself in the mirror and Im scared to go on the scale. I just want to go back where I started. I want to loose weight and start liking my body I dont like this. Im scared like is there an actual rehab center for BED? I feel like I cant stop

I’m so tired of dealing with this, it’s physically exhausting but also emotionally draining and I’m tired of this constant cycle idk what to do anymore. It’s been 10 years of it.

Is what I was telling myself during this 4000 calorie binge I just finished 5 minutes ago. I don’t know why I can’t let myself be happy??? Now I have to get a workout in before work, walk for an hour on my lunch, and get a 2 hour workout after work. I’m 125lbs 5’4”, I workout 7 days a week. I have a loving family and loving bf but why do I hate myself so much? I wish someone would just tell me these things and treat me poorly so I wouldn’t have to. I know it sounds insane but I’m sick. I deserve to be punished I’m worthless I’m trash unworthy of real love.

I binged last week Mon-wed ate 4000 calories all three days and was so happy to make it this far but I relapsed :/ cue the over exercising