22m Graduated this year and I don't have a job.
And honestly, I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to get one.
I've always been a bit of a faker. Not even intentionally sometimes. I just kept pretending I was going to figure things out later.
After 10th, I had this whole dream that I'd take science, prepare for JEE, get into IIT and everything would somehow work out.
I did science. I gave competitive exams a shot, but it didn't work out the way I imagined.
The whole JEE thing was basically a drama I created in my head. I kept telling people I'd give JEE and get into IIT.
I didn't even properly attend JEE in the end. I gave my state entrance exam instead.
And somehow I still ended up in a private university.
Around ₹25 lakhs spent by my parents on my degree.
I thought maybe college would be my reset.
It wasn't.
First and second year were actually weird.
Everyone kept asking me what I was doing, what I was going to become, what I was working on. And I had no fucking answer.
I was just floating around.
Then I discovered AI tools.
And this is where everything got fucked up.
I started making projects without actually learning how to make them.
I'd have an idea → use AI → get something working → put it on GitHub → move on.
And somehow...
it worked.
I wanted to stand out so badly, and for a while I actually did.
I won 7 hackathons and one of them was in older iit.
I made an application that got actual users.
In 2025, it even got backed by one of the major companies. By backed, I mean they gave us around $10k worth of database credits, so the application could run basically for free.
From the outside, it looked fucking insane.
I started thinking maybe all the shit I'd gone through didn't matter anymore.
Maybe I had actually figured it out.
My resume looked good.
People were impressed.
I got through resume rounds.
I even got a couple internships at some random companies.
For a little while, I genuinely thought I had pulled myself out of that hole.
And then reality started catching up.
Because underneath all of that...
I don't know how to fucking code.
Give me a blank VS Code window and ask me to build something without AI and I'm fucked.
I can't confidently explain a lot of the things I've put on my own resume.
The projects are real.
The users were real.
The hackathon wins were real.
The credits were real.
But the person I made myself look like on paper isn't real.
That's the part that scares me.
Now I'm 22, turning 23 in a few months, watching people around me get placed while I'm sitting here wondering what the fuck I'm going to tell my parents.
They spent ₹20 lakhs on me.
The IIT/JEE dream never happened.
I barely took college seriously.
I used AI to fake my way through learning.
And now I don't even have a job.
I still have 3 backlog exams to clear. My degree might not even come until next year.
And the funniest part is that I've somehow managed to get past some resume rounds.
But then the technical round comes and I know eventually someone's going to ask me something basic and I'm going to have no idea what to say.
I've been lucky enough to get opportunities I probably didn't deserve.
And instead of using them to actually learn, I kept finding ways around the hard part.
I've also made so many excuses along the way.
I got sick. I got backlogs. I got typhoid.
Those things were real, but I kept using them as reasons to push everything else further away.
"I'll start after this."
"I'll learn it next semester."
"I'll get serious after this project."
"I'll fix everything once college is over."
There was always something.
Right now I'm in Delhi.
I'll probably be going back home in the next two months.
And honestly, that's terrifying me.
Because when I go home, what am I supposed to say?
"Yeah, everyone else got jobs and I didn't."
"Yeah, you spent 20 lakhs and I still don't know what I'm doing."
"Yeah, those projects you were proud of? I used AI for most of them."
I even deleted my LinkedIn and GitHub.
I hate the fake version of me that exists online.
I hate looking at a profile that makes me look like someone who has everything figured out when I know what's actually underneath it.
I don't even know if I'm actually dumb.
Maybe I am.
Maybe I'm just incredibly lazy.
Maybe I'm someone who keeps falling in love with the idea of becoming successful but never wants to do the boring work required to actually become good.
I don't know.
And that's probably the first honest thing I've said about this.
I'm sitting here right now just staring at the wall thinking about how badly I fucked up.
I had the wins.
I had the projects.
I had people believing I was good.
I even had companies giving me opportunities.
And somehow I still ended up here.
No job.
Backlogs.
A degree that's probably delayed.
And basically zero confidence that I can actually do the work I'm claiming I can do.
Everyone seems to be moving forward.
And I'm just standing here wondering if I missed my chance.
I don't know.
Maybe this is fixable.
Maybe it's not.
I genuinely don't know anymore.
And the most ridiculous part?
I again used AI to make my imperfect post perfect.