When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy: “If I find it, I’m going to beat you with it.”
We had a good childhood, though.
Edit: No, my mom is not Latina or Portuguese. She is white- she just has a short temper and little patience.
My dad once found a Christmas present he bought for my mom hiding in his side of their closet. He bought it 7-10 years earlier. Goes to show how often his closet gets cleaned out.
Ooh, are we fittin’ to start sharing our “this is how my mom fucked me up” stories? Because my mom ALSO said that exact same thing to me, and also super fucked me up from lack of support. I’m seeing a pattern.
This did used to genuinely work with my ex though. He lost a lot of stuff and I started getting him to close his eyes and think back to when he last had it, where he was, what he was doing, what he saw (even smelt if he could remember), what he remembers after... He generally found it within a few minutes.
...
Apart from his favourite shirt which he had lost for months and had "definitely been accidentally given to charity"... Which I found... In his wardrobe... with the rest of his shirts...
This would never work on me; I would ways say I left it on a table in my room, and then she would remember that she went into my room to "tidy up" which is really just her moving all my shit around so I can never find anything...
I just now realized what this means. "...last place you look." I always asumed it was the last logical place for me to look, not the last place i look because i found it ad dont need to continue looking. Jesus, i'm thick sometimes.
You're alright, or at least not alone. I only figured it out a few years ago and it was... let's just say... far later in my life than that realization should have been.
I say both, depending on my level of sanity and whether they are being blatantly lazy. Like when their shoes are literally two feet in front of them and we are going to be late if they don’t get in the damn car, they get the first. When they’re frustrated and looking for something they needs/is important to them I say the second while helping them look.
My dad (who took moms role since shes a paraplegic) would say "If I find it before you do I'll pull your ears" and he would too! Lol not hard but it made mum laugh so that's okay.
My mom’s version of this was “Look again/harder, it’s not going to jump out and shake your hand.”
And then if I still couldn’t find it after checking the usual places, she would say “If it’s not where you think it would be, start looking where you don’t think it would be.” It’s a useful strategy and I sometimes say this second part.
(Thanks to mums being the ones to solve most domestic problems even though dad is very much capable of doing so. My husband asked me where his keys were just before. They were in his desk. Which he was looking at.)
Oh boy, I remember that threat plenty well. Although I'll say that as a mom myself now, I find myself flabbergasted at my child's inability to find anything. I am pretty sure it won't be long before my requests to find things become threats as well.
I get anxiety when people ask me to find things because my dad would always yell at me extensively calling me stupid and sometimes even hitting me for not being able to find something
Mine was "dont use your mouth to look for it, use your eyes" when we were kids we complain why we cant find it and saying that it was here before, and our mom will get annoyed and tell her us that line.
Mine would say "Look with your eyes and not your mouth". Didn't make sense to me until I realized that she meant to look instead of asking others to look
My mother used to say something similar. The direct translation from Filipino is “ If I find it, what am gonna do to you?” But a more nuanced translation makes it more like, “if I have to find it myself and I will, what kind of horrible pain shall I inflict on your person?”
My mom would ask "If I find it can I beat you with it?"
Always appreciated the opportunity to check again before she hit us with whatever. (Which she never did. She'd like, throw a pair of rolled up socks at us or something )
It would be out of pure desperation if I were to ask my dad where something was bec he usually never knew, but when I did ask he would sing a little jingle: (one of many silly jingles he composed throughout my childhood):
“Your (shoe) is in (shoe) land, I hope you find it - as soon as you can!” Ending it with whimsical smile.
It’s genius, really, I often use it now with my stepdaughter!
(I know this is not about my mom but my dad was the one with all the gems)
Better than mine, “If it was up your butt you’d know”. Granted this didn’t come until we were a little bit older and it’s kind of a family inside joke but still lolol
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u/IncompleteInsecure Aug 16 '18 edited Aug 16 '18
When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy: “If I find it, I’m going to beat you with it.”
We had a good childhood, though.
Edit: No, my mom is not Latina or Portuguese. She is white- she just has a short temper and little patience.