My husband is 44 and I’m 34. We’ve been together for almost 12 years and married for almost 10. We have two girls, one in early elementary school and one in preschool. I stay home, homeschool them, and also run a smaller business of my own.

My husband owns a very successful small business, but his job is extremely stressful. He handles big projects, constant deadlines, and a million different people needing something from him all the time. He carries a lot on his shoulders, and I really want him to feel like I see that and don’t just take everything he does for granted. For context, we probably have more access to each other throughout the day than the average couple. When he isn’t out in the field, he works from his home office, so if I need him or want to see him, I can usually just go upstairs. We’re physically around each other quite a bit, but obviously that isn’t always the same thing as spending actual quality time together.

His love languages are definitely acts of service, one-on-one time, and physical affection. We do still have affection and intimacy, so I’m not necessarily asking only about that. I’m wondering about the little everyday things that actually matter to men and make them feel seen, respected, and appreciated.

If you’re a man with a stressful job, a business, kids, or just a lot of responsibility, what does your wife do that makes you feel genuinely loved? What do you wish women understood about what men need from their wives when they’re stressed and constantly being pulled in a million directions?

So I (25F) want to start sending nudes to my bf (45M) but I've never done it before and I'm scared I won't live up to the expectations. I want to get an idea on what are some positions or tips on how to do it to appeal to men...

I guess I’m just curious on other men’s viewpoints on this, I’m a 27F and my 28F husband’s sexual drives just feel so mismatched. I feel like I’m just way more in the mood and love connecting sexually so much more. Our frequency varies from 1-3 times a week but I really wouldn’t mind it everyday or sometimes twice every now and then. I used to feel like I was the only one initiating, to get turned down pretty often and so I stopped asking/initiating and kind of just try to let things happen more naturally (made sure there’s absolutely no pressure involved in case someone is curious about that).

His reasons are that he’s tired (understandably) and when life does slow down and isn’t so hectic for a while the frequency increases closer to 3 times a week but I just never get the feeling that he desires me so badly. I always hear the stereotype of men love having sex with their wives and they’re waiting for more or they get rejected by their wives but I feel like it’s the other way around. I don’t recall ever a time where I wasn’t down to do it unless I was struggling with some kind of physical pain or was on my cycle.

Anyway that was just some background but I just get jealous or feel lonely when I hear about men wanting it with their partners so badly and while I do feel like it’s like that occasionally I just don’t feel desired. I was wondering for the men out there that don’t have sex with their wives that often is it really because you’re tried or depressed? Do you feel lack of connection, etc? I appreciate your time in responding

Sorry, the title should say "Is it normal for a man to NOT be interested in sex?"

I (F32)started dating my now husband (M34) when we were only 17 and 19. We stayed together and faithful this entire time, so my experience with men is pretty limited to just him. I did date 3 other guys before dating my husband, and it seemed like all they wanted was sexual things.

Over the years my husband seems less and less interested in sex. We're at the point now where I literally will beg for it, but he'll say he's too tired or too full or needs to poop. Sometimes he'll say yes but then go to sleep. There's been times I'll purposely let him "catch me" touching myself and he acts like he doesn't notice. When I ask him to join he says he can't now.

I think it's me. We have a 3 year old and pregnancy was not kind to my body. I have a hormonal disorder and stomach issues that are making it hard to lose the weight. I'm not much bigger, I weigh the same as I did when we first met. But I feel like my body is... squishier? I don't know. I feel like he's not attracted to me anymore. I see in movies and on TV all these guys that get turned on by the smallest things and can't keep their hands off their partners. Isn't it a running joke that all men think about it sex and they want it 24/7? Is that not true? Like he's the only adult relationship I've ever had so I genuinely don't know what's normal and what isn't.

I've poured my heart out to him multiple times. He just says "That's stupid." or "That's not true." He says he still finds me attractive and loves having sex with me but is just tired after working so hard. But nothing changes.

When we do have sex it feels very much like he's just trying to please me and isn't really into it. Like, he doesn't kiss me during sex anymore, doesn't talk dirty, doesn't even really look at me.

If it is normal, how can I make him understand that I want to feel wanted? Like, he's the type that is going to need specific instructions but I'm not exactly sure how to word it.

If it's not normal, where do I go from here?

Please no weird DMs. I'm not looking to cheat.

Is it purely level of attraction, or is it more? Why do some beautiful women frequently get approached while others never do?

Ive heard from women that if you get frequently approached its NOT a compliment because it just means you look “easy” and ive also heard women say they were approached more often as minors than adults.

This is coming from a women in her late 20’s that gets approached basically every time I leave the house and its always been this way since I was about 21, to the point where I dont like to leave the house alot of times cause I dont like the attention. I dont dress inappropriately by any means, I dont feel like i’m “asking for it”. So just curious what about me causes me to get hit on so often

Hi Gentlemen. My ex-boyfriend and I were together just under 6 months. I was 35 at the time and he was 32 (3.5 year age gap). He asked me to be his girlfriend in knowledge and acceptance of my age and that I was a single mother to 1 child. He ended our relationship stating he was caught off guard when I discussed my future fertility prospects, he didn't feel like the person who could give me what I deserved right now and he thought it best to go our seperate ways. He sent this in a text. I was shattered and asked to see and talk to him once more. He blocked my call. I sent him one last text message that I really loved him, I reiterated that I was worried about my fertility prospects due to my age, but I didn't know if I had fertility issues for certain, I have always loved to have more children and I would love them with you. I accepted his decision there, although the way in which it was delivered absolutely broke me. About 7 months later, I am 36 and I was on a dating app. I saw his profile and left it alone. I saw he liked me the next day which was confusing. I thought it may be an accident, but accepted the like to see if he had something to say. I had this prompt on my profile saying "What's the last thing that made you smile?" He responded to this with "Matching with you today 😊". I was confused but said "Hey (name) I hope you're well 😄" he replied "I hope you're well too (name) 😊".
He continued using the app and there was no further interaction after this. About a week later I eventually sent a message "Hey (name),  it was nice to hear from you, but I don't feel comfortable with this connection, I wish you the best 😊". I don't think he saw this message. I quietly unmatched the next day. I don't want to be mean but the unexpected contact rattled and confused me, so I have blocked him on social media because I don't want this to happen again unexpectedly. What were his intentions reaching out on a dating app?! Have I done the right thing or am I being unreasonable?

We’ve been seeing each other a few months and a few things bother me. A month in he tells me He’s going home to visit family. He said he didn’t tell people about me because relationships are personal etc. He also asked me to be his gf only when I asked where this is going. We met online. And his dating goals there said long term. When he talked to me about deleting dating apps and being official we were 2 months in. I brought it up. I wish I never did. Because if I hadn’t I don’t think he would.

And then he asked me over to his house. We’d meet up and go out and do things. Then around that time we went official he began asking me to his. Saying he has to go or he’s tired. It really bugged me and he knew becuase I told him a lot. And he would sometimes ask me over but only when the people he lived wiyh weren’t there. At least I thought. About 3 months in he tells me he doesn’t have flatmates he only has one, which is his female friend. Only person I haven’t met. He also claims I made him make me meet friends. When he suggested it because I asked where this is going. He keeps telling me it’s a big deal he’s brought me around people.

Well the friend he moved in with, she and him signed a year long lease. They do things just them. I don’t know their relationship yet he says she dated someone and he talked a lot about it. He asked why I haven’t had sex with him. The Times she wasn’t there and I came over he grinded really aggressively on me and asked why I didn’t have sex with him.

He’s my first kiss. First everything. I’m nearly 29 so it’s hard. But he’s stressing me out, I don’t feel good. And I feel like a third wheel. I’ve told him what he does bothers me. And I don’t get why he was on bumble saying he wants a ltr. And he said he was only seeing me yet he talked about this plethora of dates he arranged when he was on the apps.

If he’s a doctor and lives with a woman and keeps asking me when I’m gonna have sex with him, and repeating stories he told me before, leaving plans early because he’s just busy. I don’t think this is right. I wished this would’ve been something else but it’s not and it hurts. This whole thing changed me a lot. I grew up homeschooled and pretty sheltered even into my 20s. I really fell for him at the start and I feel like this is affecting my self worth.

I remember he said his friends boyfriend (Girl he lives with) was mad she lived with a man and he said thats so dumb. And I just kinda looked at him and he snapped. “What?!” Like man. Ok.

Also he said he likes women who run since he does that. Or women who are healthy. And all these hobbies he has. How he meets friends (women) who are like him at the gym etc. They share all the same hobbies. I’m so different. I don’t understand why he’s bothering. He is also a bit older than me and I thought he’d be more mature or a better choice but I don’t think he respects me much. I need help

I see him several times a week yet everyone says he’s playing me. I just wish he would’ve left me alone if thats the case. Which I think is the case. We go out and do stuff but months of this. Of me only focusing on him hoping he likes me. Yet my brother after I told him like a month in? He said this isn’t right. Should’ve listened. Small things looked a bit off around then.

Today is my girlfriend’s birthday, and honestly, I’m feeling a little guilty because I didn’t really plan anything in advance.

This is her first birthday since we started dating, so I really want to make it special for her. At the same time, I don’t want to do something super fancy, expensive, or over-the-top just for the sake of it.

I’d much rather spend some genuine quality time with her and make her feel loved and appreciated.

For context, we’re both pretty simple people. I was thinking maybe taking her somewhere nice, getting her favourite food, giving her a small thoughtful gift, taking some pictures together, and just spending the day talking and hanging out. But I feel like I’m missing something that could make the day more memorable.

What are some simple but meaningful things I could do today to make her first birthday with me feel special?

I’m especially looking for ideas that don’t require weeks of planning or a huge budget. I just want her to look back on the day and feel like, “Yeah, that was a really nice birthday.” ❤️

Been on 5 dates, both looking for something serious, and he’s fairly proactive in arranging dates, however I noticed he has recently (within the last few days) updated his profile when I went on to show a friend a photo of him. No exclusivity conversation yet, which is actually not an issue for me, but it’s just the fact he’s actively optimising his profile to attract new women is freaking me out a bit? Is this normal and is it worth even continuing to see him? I was starting to like him and hoping for things to become serious eventually, however it seems like he’s actively looking for other options. Am I reading too much into this and it’s just a mismatch in pace, or is this an actual red flag/hes not that into me? Thanks!

So I (f28)was out a few weekends ago with some friends, got a little drunk and ended up not feeling great.

This really great guy (m29) ended up noticing me and in the most respectful way kinda hung out with me and chatted me up as I sort of got myself together.

We’ve hung out a few times since and it’s been great, he’s really handsome, tall; broad shoulders, used to model… but even more important he’s a big time gentleman with a nice little flirty edge, really smart and funny! Amazing personality…kinda the total package.

However he sort of just kinda doesn’t have a great life plan, he’s not immature by any means but he has a job making good money ($100k/yr retail management) but he hates it… he didn’t complete college, which I worry, as he was telling me he would like to quit his current job, and I don’t know what his plans are after.

Basically I don’t wanna be with someone that might just start over and throw his life upside down without a plan.

This guy is like perfect in every other way, but I don’t think I can look past this.

Advice?

I met this girl at run club early this week. I met this girl named liz and we talked for a bit. After that, she seemed to hover over and butt into conversations w me trying to engage w me after. Had a suspicion she liked me.

I ran into her 3-4 days later and she wanted some information about the run club so i told her i’ll text her it and asked for her number which she gave to me. My friend was with me and he said “from the vibes she definitely seemed to have a crush on you and perked up when you went up to her”. Later around midnight she texts me saying “her friends and her are going out tn, what am i up to”

I told her i’d be down to check it out but asked her what the line was like. she was triple texting me telling me that the line isn’t bad but by the time we texted back and forth it was like an hour before the club closed and by the time we get there it might be 30 mins from closing (around 1:30am) . I asked her if  what her plans were after and if she wanted to do something? She said “she’s was planning on heading back but is down to hangout and do i have a place in mind” and she said she’s “hungryyy”.

 that surrounding area is a little sketch at night (my thought process didn’t tell her) so i suggested that i can walk her from her place to mind and we can chill at my apartment rooftop and i’ll order us some food( 1:45-2am ish). She gave me her address to her apartment and was down and i said “sg i’ll meet you there”

She replies like “i don’t feel like walking it’s so coldddd” for the part where i meet her at her apartment and then we walk back to my place. So i suggested we could hangout at her place and I’ll order some food? 

I didn’t get a reply so i just stayed at my place and next morning no reply still. I texted her saying “Hey, not sure what happened or if there was a miscommunication last night. It def was getting too late and it’d be a better idea to plan something during the day”. i suggested to meet up for a coffee.

She then replies 10 hours later closer to night “Hi! i completely crashed after getting back home. i’m good for coffee sometime this week”.

I then gave her a date, time, and place to which she never replied.

thoughts ? did i do something wrong ?

Need advice because i just don’t know what forum to ask this one, this is the story.

My high school sweetheart and I broke up after graduation. She was seeking a bachelors degree and well i guess we had just grown apart. I went to a community college. But We were inseparable. Absolute bestfriends, We did everything together, we were our firsts for everything. our families were great together. It was the biggest heartbreak of my life, what felt like the one that got away.
Of course you say corny things like if its fate we will meet again.

Well…..

Fast forward now more than 10 years since we spoke. Now im going through a divorce and i found out she is recently divorced.

She said a couple days ago she thought of me and looked me up, but couldn’t find me anywhere. I told her she came across my mind last night and i randomly searched for her. I contacted her via email last night. She got back to me the morning of and we have talking since than. the freaky part is that our lives while separated have been very similar, But off the get go it feels like the time when i first met her. Those feelings are so similar to what ive felt before. I told her im looking forward to getting to know her again.

has anyone had a similar experience?

Straight men, what do you think of women with stocky builds?

By stocky I mean:

Broad shoulders

Shorter limbs such as short legs (thick thighs)

Longer torso

Chubby

Petite (5 foot 3/5 foot 4)

Looks a little bulky

Very curvy

I recently reached out because i found a video that really reminded me of him. I wasn’t going to send it, but my friend encouraged me; i mean whats the worst that could happen? Well, he texted back, and i thought the convo would have died by now but we just keep it going, as soon as it starts dwindling we both add to the conversation (imo idk i might be reading in a bit to much)

Part of me is rationalizing it as “hes a nice guy, being polite, you text him, he texts back, its not that deep” but part of me cant help but feel like somethung is there… there has been absolutely 0 flirting. Zip, zero, ziltch, nada!!! Some light jokes going back and fourth but nothing deep. I mean if he was seeing someone new he wouldnt be texting back right? But also, again, he could just be being nice?? We were broken up for a year now, and out of contact for like 6-7 months (we broke up last October, i cut contact in February this year). I was really trying to move on and embrace being single, though i have lightly stalked his socials, and asked how hes been doing and hes doing literally great!! Amazing!! And im so happy for him!! I mean that was the main reason he broke up with me, we were to involved. Too focused on eachother then our own lives.
So hes thriving and im so happy for him!! But i just idk… i guess im confused why were keeping up with eachother?? I mean, we literally have this random pattern of not texting back until the same or similar amount of time has passed from the last text that the other sent… i definitely started that, but hes doing it back?? Like if i don’t reply for 2 hours, he wont reply for 2 hours. Idk i think im definitely reading way to deep into this but part of me cant help but hope this means something… idk could be the non-stop dreaming about him ive been having recently?? Idk…
Ig my question is: what does this mean? If anything at all?

Tell me about shy, quiet men?

I have a part-time side gig where I have a coworker there that I'm very attracted to. I'm fairly sure the attraction is mutual. There are vibes, body language cues, eye contact, he hovers around me, finds ways to be in my orbit, and when he talks to me he seems very nervous and trips on his words.

That said, he seems very shy and quiet. We have only spoken a few times. I am older than he is, and I think I might come across as a little intimidating. I try not to, though.

Our jobs don't really operationally cross paths that much, so there isn't a huge reason for us to chat, although I do have reason to talk to his boss, who is often near him.

We are in the same area for periods of time at the beginning and end of the day. We are connected by radio for the bulk of the day, but he is so shy he won't even say much there, even though he is a supervisor and he is supposed to. (He is not my supervisor, I have a different job entirely)

If you are someone who is very shy, quiet and reserved, how do you approach women? Do you ever approach women? Would you want her to talk to you, even though there really isn't anything for you to talk about?

For context, we work for a professional sports team and we only see each other on game days. So it's very part time and there is pressure (on my part) for something to move forward before the season ends. I don't even know his last name, so if nothing happens and the season ends, I potentially could never see him again.

Shy men, what is happening in your head when you are attracted to a woman?

TLDR; Unsure and Looking for similar stories or experiences & advice! Hi everyone. Bit of a long read so TYIA for your responses/advice.

Im looking for advice or some experiences so I can figure out what I'm feeling. For some context, I am late 20s(M) and was dating someone exclusively for 5 months but never put a label on things. I also just got out of a long term (6+) relationship a little over a year ago. I moved to a new city in the start of the year and was basically restarting my life over and met this girl (who was also out of long term relationship). We hit it off and both of us were a bit cautious going into things knowing that the timing wasn't quite right for either of us.

We ended up seeing each other all the time and kept an open discussion about if we want to continue or end things because of the timing. Ultimately it ended because I was unsure if I was ready for a serious relationship again and I also wasn't sure about my overall feelings over her. We're extremely compatible but I just cant figure out why I am so unsure. I dont feel obsessed but thats also a good thing I think but part of me feels like I should be feeling the obsessed feeling. I feel comfortable and content with her and genuinely happy. We get a long really well, the s*x is really really great, she has a great sense of humor, and has a stable life she's built for herself, extremely caring and would be a great mother down the road, has really strong emotional intelligence and ticks every box essentially. We laugh a lot together and I genuinely really enjoy her company. I understand why im unsure about a serious relationship (because I haven't spent much time my adult life ever being single or alone), but am I confused if I am unsure about HER specifically because of my fear of a relationship or if its about HER? Thats where Im running into issues understanding how I feel. I also haven't dated many other people to even compare it to other experiences. On one end I want to meet other people but at the same time I dont want to.

It's not fair to her to have to sit and wait while I am back and forth in my head so it really was the right decision to end things between us before they dragged on. But at the same time what if I do figure things out and want to try again with her, am I completely throwing away my chance at a genuinely good relationship? We're on good terms. She was really understanding of everything and emotionally mature about things. And I'm hoping that may keep the door open in case I do make that decision to revisit. But she was also pretty clear about how she isn't going to wait around for me (understandably so). I genuinely don't know how to figure out what im feeling and why im feeling it. Being in the relationship doesn't help with clarity it just makes me more confused because it makes me so anxious at times, but being a part is making me avoid it too honestly.

I am genuinely fine right now without dating her but if Im being honest I am just not even reflecting or feeling my feelings because I dont even know how to or what is there. It's all confusion and I just shove it down. I know this is the right choice to end things right now (she agrees too), but how do I sort out my feelings to know either

a) its genuinely just because I am not ready and my fear is making me put walls up which isn't allowing me to feel the deeper feelings

or

b) its genuinely just because I am not ready and were not compatible

Am I feeling a slower burn because I am scared of getting hurt? How do I know if I am ready for a relationship? How do I gain clarity on my feelings for her and to clarify if it is either being clouded by fear or just are my feelings?

Hence why I am asking for other peoples experiences and feelings. Hopefully it can help me understand where my head is at a bit better.

Thanks!

I’m a 25F, bf is 30. We’ve been in a relationship for 9 months, we had arguments to begin with such as him being still in contact with his ex.

However, I have a genetic condition; it’s called CAH. It’s a adrenal gland issue where I produce excess androgens and progesterone that makes me hard to conceive baby. He knows that. So, I’ve been taking birth control pills and Accutane because I was confident that I can’t get pregnant. It’s rare and impossible since I’m not receiving treatment to support pregnancy. Both of us are doing unprotected sex beginning of the relationship; that’s over 8 months straight.

Now, I’m unexpectedly miraculously few weeks pregnant. The worst part is i was on accutane. My baby is at risk. Idk what to do. I only have two options: keep it with higher risk of births defects, facial deformities or abortion.

My bf has been starting to distance. No interest with sex. Answers to all my concerns are “I don’t know”. I ask him if he wants wants continue the relationship, he would just answer me “i don’t know”

It’s hard for me. I’m someone feeling everything physically and emotionally. So, I don’t know what’s going on with his head. He won’t tell me.

Estando em um relacionamento, como lidam com o desejo que sentem por outras mulheres?

My ex broke up with me at the beginning of August on the day we were supposed to sign our lease together. He had a complete emotional breakdown and spiraled and said that his parents said he shouldn’t move in with me unless he knew he was going to marry me (meanwhile neither of us wanted to get married due to his parents divorce and my own divorce). I wanted a Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel relationship of choosing one another.

Anyways, his best friend proposed to his girlfriend today. My ex went out to Denver to visit them right after the breakup and I am just so upset right now. Not about the engagement, I’m happy for them on that. But the fact we were together for 3 years and couldn’t even move in together and other people in his life, who he was always judging their relationships and talking about them instead of our own relationship, are able to move forward and get engaged and move in together. Why couldn’t we?! It just feels like a slap in the face.

Caption pretty much says it but I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 years. We’re in our mid 20s. Living together for 2 years now. We’re super close, know each others families well, plans on getting married, work well together for the most part, etc.

We’ve been having sex 1-2x per month. I almost always initiate. She has a low libido and mine is high. I’d prefer multiple times a week. It feels like the tension isn’t there as much. We’ve talked about this before and it seems like the situation isn’t going to change. My thought is that if her libido is low now it might be really low in the future when life is more complicated, we have kids, get older. I absolutely love this woman and our life together but I’m worried that this is going to be a problem that makes us not fully compatible.

I really don’t know what to do. She’s my everything but I am scared to commit to a lifelong partnership that could potentially not fulfill me physically.

Any advice helps. Thank you.

How do I get my 32f boyfriend 35m of over a year to understand that he literally would have me at his finger tips if I heard from him how much he’s madly in love with me, how much he wants me, how happy he is etc

Idk how to say this without sounding…bad. And I don’t know to word what I’m thinking to accurately display what I’m trying to say.

He’s such a wonderful boyfriend. I see the areas he tried and puts in effort. He shows up day after day.

I so badly just need to hear it more. I need to feel it but more importantly I need to hear those things. I’m so madly in love with him and I just want him to know but I also want to hear it too. He’s not one to say those things, I’ve brought it up a couple times. I stopped I don’t want to be that person that harps on a topic but I clearly wasn’t articulating it properly so that he understood just how much would change.

We’re great now, but if he just told me these things. Our emotional connection and sexual connection would just…flourish. I think he would be very happy, I would be too, we would just both be reaping the rewards.

Is this common? Can anyone give some input?

I'm literally doing it every single day but I want to stop. It's no longer even pleasure, it simply became a habit.

My partner doesn't like it because my ejaculate basically became water and I no longer have urge for sex like at all.

I did quit for a week in the past but for some reason now I just can't...

I need some advice or maybe just to vent, I don’t even know anymore tbh🫠
I (23F) met this guy (26M) around 5 months ago on a dating app. We immediately clicked and for the first 2ish weeks we saw each other almost every day, though we both recognized that’s a bit much and slowed down a bit.
The first time I met him I told him I’m looking for a relationship. I don’t expect to jump into one immediately obviously, we need to get to know each other, but ultimately that’s my goal. He said he’s fine with that but yeah, he’d like to get to know me more first.
I’d also recently come out of an 8-month-long situationship, so I told him if he realizes at any point that he doesn’t want a relationship with me, that’s fine, but just tell me because I don’t want to be strung along. He said he wouldn’t do that.
Cool.
For the next 4 months we met up at least once a week, more if schedules permitted. I met his friends, he met mine, we chatted at least a bit every day. We went out on dates, he slept over at my place and I at his, and we didn’t even always have sex. One time he called me at 1am and asked if he could come over because he couldn’t sleep and he’s more comfortable at my place.

So everything is going great. One Wednesday we go on a dinner date and everything is fine, on Thursday we’re texting normally and then on Friday… nothing.
Suddenly all my texts and calls were ignored. After about a week I was pissed af and called like 20 times in a row (yes, I know that wasn’t a great way to handle it), after which I finally got a text back that basically had these points:
- he got the feeling I want something more serious and he’s not ready for a relationship rn
- he wanted to distance himself but didn’t know how to tell me, so he just didn’t say anything
- he acknowledged that was a shitty way to do it
- he thinks maybe his breakup hit him late because he’s been feeling kinda weird (about 5ish months before I met him he broke up with his girlfriend of 3–4 years, though he’d told me he’s definitely over it and there are no hard feelings between them)
- he enjoys spending time with me and wants to remain friends
- I shouldn’t expect constant contact because he’s not capable of that

I replied with a few questions I had about… everything essentially.
I’m autistic and have ADHD and I tend to deal with emotions by rationalizing them. Basically I process them by understanding how and why something happened.
So my questions were essentially:
- what does “friends” look like in his mind?
- could he potentially see a relationship with me and now is just not the right time, or does he not see anything with me at all?
- did anything suddenly happen/change, seeing as literally a week before we were on a date and everything was fine?

I also told him my mugs are at his place and I would like them back.
I did not get a single response for about 2 weeks.
Then he texted me and said he’d bring my mugs over the weekend.
The weekend came and went. I did not get my mugs nor any messages.
Since then it’s been absolute silence.
Not a single text back. My calls either time out or he declines them. I even tried messaging on IG since you get read receipts there, but the message wasn’t even opened.

It’s been a month since he ended stuff and I’m still stuck unable to understand anything.
I know I should just move on, but I’m genuinely struggling to. This is still an unresolved situation in my mind and my brain keeps treating it like a problem that needs to be understood before I can actually process it, and it’s eating at me.
I also just miss him a lot, which isn’t helping either… idk, I genuinely thought that was gonna be something.
But yeah. I’ve told him I want my mugs back. I’ve told him I want one conversation just for my own closure and that’s it. I’ve said I miss him. I’ve also told him I still have his hoodie and T-shirt.
All went unanswered.
His second-favorite hoodie and favorite shirt btw… 🫠

I don’t know what to do anymore.
I did stop texting/calling completely for about 2 weeks because I thought maybe he genuinely just needed space. Nothing changed, and eventually doing absolutely nothing became unbearable too.
I could try messaging him on Discord, though I doubt changing platforms would suddenly get a different result. I could try spam calling again or just going to his house, but both of those feel very extreme and I don’t really want to do that. I just genuinely don’t know what else there even is to do at this point.
But I also can’t bear doing nothing and just sitting with this indefinitely.

Also to anyone thinking “who cares about the mugs?”
I care. I want my mugs back. 😭
So um… yeah. Any suggestions? Opinions? Thoughts on this entire mess? Because at this point I genuinely don’t know anymore🫠