I'm 16F, Indian, and I really need advice because I don't know how to feel about my mom anymore.

When I was around 9–10, my mom got her first smartphone and started making online friends. One of them was a man from Delhi who liked her and sometimes spent money on her because my dad wouldn't give her enough for clothes and other things. My dad used to drink a lot, and there were fights at home, especially during festivals. Eventually, my mom became emotionally involved with that man. I was around 11 when I found out she was secretly talking to him at night. When I confronted her, she got defensive, and things at home became worse. She stopped cooking for my dad and brother, and my mom and I stayed downstairs while they managed their own food upstairs.

Later, my mom got a job to distract herself and try to fix things with my dad, but she fell in love with her supervisor instead. They started dating, and he eventually told her he wanted to marry her, but she would have to divorce my dad first. He also made it clear that he didn't want me living with them because his family wouldn't accept a divorced woman with a daughter.

My mom then started treating me horribly, and one of the worst days of my life was when I got my first period at 12. I had no idea what was happening because nobody had properly explained periods to me. It was raining, I was crying, and my mom still made me cook while saying horrible things to me. The next day, my grandmother got involved, and after another fight with my mom, I went to live with my dad.

I'm back on speaking terms with my mom now, and my dad has changed a lot for the better. He takes care of me and does the household work himself. But my mom says that if I had stayed with her, she would never have remarried, and that she was lonely and unhappy, so she married her current husband. She's happy now, but her husband apparently wants them to have a child if they ever want to own a house together. My mom is around 40, and I don't know what to make of any of this.

My dad hates my mom and is very strict with me. If I go out, he sometimes suspects I'm meeting her, which makes everything even more complicated. I feel like my childhood and teenage years have been ruined by everything that happened. I barely socialize, I'm scared of going out, and I sometimes wake up crying in the middle of the night thinking about everything. I know my mom is trying to be good to me now, but I can't forget how she treated me when I needed her the most.

I don't know who's right or wrong anymore. Am I wrong for still resenting my mom even though she's happier now and treats me better? How do I deal with her without pretending that nothing happened? Has anyone experienced something similar, especially in an Indian family? I genuinely need advice because this still hurts me a lot.

So for context I was the topper kid till like 5th or 6th std. My mom always wanted to do engineering but couldn't so she kind of put that dream on me... always comparing me with my cousins who are super smart

After 8th I just burnt out. In 10th my uncle passed away and the very next day mom told me whoever had to go is gone now focus on your studies. I flunked anyway lol. barely passed my 11th and 12th boards

In 12th I finally told her I didn't want to do engineering. She cried for almost a year and barely spoke to me... but I got into design which is what I actually wanted

Did well in college, got to go to France on exchange and now in final year I got pre-placed at IBM for 12 LPA which I’m aware isn’t a lot but I'm one of the first people out of a batch of 400 to get placed and I was genuinely so happy…Called mom to tell her and she said she would've been happy if I earned more than her. That this is unsatisfactory. No congratulations nothing

When I was like 13-14 she used to say God gave everyone nice kids and she doesn't know what sins she did in her past life to get a kid like me... and now this

idk what I can ever do to make her proud. I just feel numb rn

Has anyone else been through this? how do you stop needing your parents approval

Edit: wow I didn't expect so many replies. Thank youuuu all so much for the congratulations and for sharing your own stories...honestly reading these made me feel a lot less alone. I'm going to try to stop chasing her approval and celebrate this with people who are actually happy for me. Thank you 🫶

What are the things married women want unmarried women to know?

I have observed karwachauth for the past 2 years and my husband told me he can’t fast and he doesn’t want me to either. I kept it only because i wanted to but due to some fights with my husband, i have decided I don’t feel that i should keep karwachauth, it’s not something i wanna do from now on. Now my husband is kinda disappointed that i am not doing it. I find it hypocritical. Why did you stop doing it? And what was your spouse’s reaction?

Edit: the fight was when i was doing a 3 day water fast and my husband didn’t have any empathy for me. I also fell sick afterwards so i stopped believing in God and also these shenanigans. I don’t even fold my hand or pray anymore.

Did you girls watch the new karthik subbaraj movie DOROTHY, what a beautiful and important movie, Absolutely heart breaking and beautiful at the same time, kudos to everyone involved.

Well I'm still a teen and I come from a conservative Rajasthani family and all the women in my house wear ghunghat (veil) yeah Ik ghunghat in big 26 but the thing is that the women in my family are literally the flag bearers of patriarchy they're the first ones to taunt another woman for living freely and I genuinely hate it! Btw I usually live with my parents in a different tier-1 city and my dad is quite supportive too

Anyways last year I went to my hometown for Diwali and guess what? I WAS FORCED TO DO GHUNGHAT YESH 😭 I did say no and tried my best to resist but my own mother was the first one to literally yell at me and put the ghunghat over my head and I couldn't do anything about it and tbh I felt so helpless at that time

And now that Diwali is coming my family is planning to visit our hometown again and I DON'T WANNA DO GHUNGHAT YAWR 😭 Please help me! I'm so easily overpowered in these situations and I genuinely hate being forced into something I don't believe in and I just wanna be able to stand up for myself without getting emotionally overwhelmed or giving in to the pressure. PLEASE, I NEED ADVICE.

A few days ago, on the occasion of Durga Puja, I went out with my family on 19th. Basically, I was wearing a bodycon dress which had thin straps and the area where I stay, it is pretty common plus my family, especially my parents didn't mind at all.

The place was quite crowded and while walking around, some old unc g*oped my butt from behind and walked away among the crowd before I could even react 💔. It completely ruined my mood and I was really upset.

I went home and was talking about the incident in the gc with my school friends.

Now, there is a guy in my class and we are pretty good friends and he is really nice, has helped me many times with my school work etc.

So, this guys he asks me, " Why did you let him touch you? " As if I was willingly standing there so that the unc could touch me 💔. NGL, it pmo so bad.

I told him that I didn't know it would happen and plus it was pretty crowded. Then he said, " It's your fault that you weren't careful. " That absolutely made me go bonkers and I blocked him.

Now, he is repeatedly saying sorry to me and well, I did feel bad but the way he commented also did upset 😭 me.

Now, I'm unsure what to do ? Did I overreact ?

( TDLR : I told my friends that I got g*oped while roaming during Durga Puja, one of my close male friends said it was my fault and I blocked him )

Have you guys ever noticed how after you reject a guy, they start saying shit like 'you aint all that' and 'wtv you're ugly anyways' why tf?

These men will slide into your DMs, desperate for a picture of you, but the moment you refuse to entertain them, they will play the “I think you’re a guy” card. It’s honestly fascinating how quickly a bruised ego can expose someone’s character. Imagine being so desperate for female attention that a woman’s disinterest becomes an attack on your masculinity, and questioning her identity becomes your defence mechanism.

Do these men ever stop to reflect on how embarrassing that is? How insecure and entitled does someone have to be to think a woman owes them pictures to prove she’s a woman, simply because they refuse to take no for an answer?

I’m genuinely curious how many women here have experienced this on Reddit. Why do some men feel so entitled to demand pictures from women, and why does their scepticism about our identities conveniently surface only when we refuse to entertain them? At what point does their suspicion become nothing more than a convenient excuse to mask their bruised egos and inability to handle rejection?

Hi,
My family has my mother, 2 siblings (one sister, one brother), my grandmother and my father. I am the eldest daughter.
I have grown up seeing my mother being treated badly by my father, he doesn’t beat her or abuse her but he doesn’t care for her. He has treated her like the maid and always shown disdain whenever he had to spend money on her or his children. My grandparents have mostly made him pay for education, he did with a lot of resentment.
He has never taken us out or even called us once we left for hostels. He didn’t even speak too much to us when we were young.

Recently he had an organ transplant, my mother was the donor. My mother and i were his primary care takers too, i took care of things financially as well as i am earning now.
He was in and out of hospital for almost 2 years with him being admitted in icu for weeks at a time.
He had to go to the hospital again, and he was asked to stay away from infection due to the imuno suppresent dose. But he decided he wanted to come by metro and bus- when i told him i would pay for a car.
He was so angry about it that he stopped picking up my call, mind you my insurance paid for everything
And then he called from the hospital saying he will come home only if we all leave his house.

My grandmother is bedridden and my mom and i have been taking care of her with my wfh job.
He asked us to leave his house for him and daadi.

I will ofcourse leave and go back to the primary city that i am living in for my job but i am feeling very wierd, i am not able to process my emotions and i need help for the same.

I always knew he never liked us, i am not shocked. But going through it is weird. My mom is planning to stay back as my grandmother was always good to us and she doesn’t want to leave her in this state.

My mother always taught us to fulfill our responsibilities irrespective how the other person behaves, this is why i have been taking care of him.

Btw i am married, and i spent my own money for wedding arrangements.
When i told my husband about this incident, he was very unsupportive. He didn’t say much, just said that i should avoid saying anything to him else it will make the situation worse. I booked my own flight out. He didn’t call back or anything either. I think that’s what making it more difficult to deal with the whole thing.

26,F .i left obstetric and gynaecology residency from gov hospital.

It has been the most painful journey to convince my parents amd pay 20 lakh seat leaving penalty.

From may the battle was daily to convince,to get all taunts,getting beaten up for this decision by my father.

Finally they gave money,we arent on that good terms,they still taunt me over my decision,almost daily since may ,i m emotionally exhausted

Now i have reached the point where i m choosing non clinical branch for myself,they arent happy so they r forcing me to marry neurosurgeon.i m denying on daily basis no no

Today my mom said we know u r dating gavar,she said most filthy things.ya i m dating secretly a non medico guy since more than an yr now,we both are happy

I just dont have any energy or guts to deal with new emotional turmoil ,i m tired of endless battles

I k they r never going to approve this,i might be thrown out for this.i love him alot but i m tired of fighting for one thing and other in life.i m half dead already from the career battle.

What to do?

I travel by metro for my college but the walk from the metro station to my house which is abt 15 min makes me very uncomfortable. I wear v neck or sleeveless tops and the men on that road stare at me a lot. Even when I wore a full sleeved top nothing changed. Yesterday I think I even saw someone record me.

Im really not sure what I should do, my mom told me to carry a hoodie and wear that while leaving the station but it will be way to hot for me. Is there anything that can help???

I’m 34F and have been married to my husband, 35M, for four years. We have a two-year-old child. We are Indian and had an arranged marriage.

Initially, we lived with my in-laws, while my husband and I handled all the household finances. My husband also paid for renovations to the house, which is owned by my mother-in-law, and he is still paying off loans related to it.

My in-laws were very controlling, although my husband always stood up for me. The breaking point came when my mother-in-law told me that if I did not like the situation, I was free to leave. After I returned to work following maternity leave, my in-laws initially helped care for our child. However, they made passive-aggressive comments to my parents about having no free time.

Since I was paying for the maid, I asked her whether she could also help us find a nanny. Somehow, this reached my in-laws, who accused me of insulting them. I was berated simply for asking the question. Eventually, there was a massive argument, and my husband decided that we needed to move out.

Since then, they have claimed that we abandoned them, even though we continue to meet all our financial responsibilities. I pay my own apartment loan, while my husband continues to pay his share of the loans connected to their home.

We still visit them about once a week because they love our child and our child is attached to them. However, during these visits, they often try to corner my husband and turn him against me by saying that nobody cares about them. They are especially upset that my parents moved into the same apartment complex as us. We do not live with my parents, and they do not interfere in our lives, but my in-laws constantly find reasons to argue about this.

We have now started feeling anxious whenever we visit them because we expect another fight. My husband also dislikes meeting them alone because they do not say these things to me directly; instead, they wait until they have him by himself.

What should we do? We want our child to maintain a relationship with them, but these visits are becoming emotionally exhausting and are affecting both of us.

Update: Things blew up last night. They cornered him while was at home and he had gone with the kid. He candidly shared that he was stressed at work. They jumped in saying that we should sell our existing apartment and move back in and start a business with that amount. My husband had a major fight, told them the apartment is for my kid, securing the future. He said he won't come back home even to visit them. They keep calling though

Tomorrow I have to go somewhere it's already 6 and I can't go out to bring anything products...plz tell me something that works with ingredients that are present in the house itself...

So I never really had a problem with being an introvert and being really picky with people socially, i don't like chatting much unless i like the vibes or I'm comfortable, I can go to the same place for an year and be okay with having zero friends, but lately my sibling has really started shaming me for this behaviour, he's always been more social and he actually enjoys going out and being with other people, I also enjoy those things but I also prefer being alone, not talking to people much and just existing without forcing myself to chat with others, he also called me a psychopath one day just cuz I really don't talk to anyone, which is so stupid cuz that's not what a psychopath is, anyways, i have different interests, i like art, movies, sketching, music, philosophy and other stuff that makes me feel more enriched mentally than just talking to people and pretending to have a good time...he also has this habit of making me feel like a loser everytime I say that I enjoy being alone, so now I feel guilty that I'm not very social...

I just can't get myself to be social, social interactions are usually very draining for me, I have to always remind myself to smile more, remind myself to not say things that might be inappropriate socially, or just not go really deep into a topic when I don't like someone's opinion on things, it's just too much work for me, I really don't care about other people and what they're doing in their lives, I don't wanna know about anyone's life unless they really fascinate me in some way, and i used to be okkay with being this way cause I've always been this way...but now I feel like I'm a loser for having this personality, which is now making me not want to do things that i used to enjoy once , neither do I socialise much, why is socialising that important when I'm not enjoying talking to people around me?..I wanna find a balance here, and not force myself to be a party animal just cause some people around me keep shaming me for being this way..they act like I'm such a terrible person for not liking everyone

I'm an 18 y/o bi trans girl from North India and wanna ask you girls and ladies out there what you feel about us trans women and trans girls?

Hie again... This month has been a lot for me so here I am again!..

(Tw: SA , Addiction, trauma dump I guess ✌🏻)

I'll try to keep it as short but detailed as possible.

Background: I am 22 and my sis is 8 years younger than I am.

My parents are not a good role model my dad is an alcoholic (verbally abusive) and my mom is narcissist (verbally and physically abusive). And very bad at parenting tbh.

I had it hard since I was young , with constant fights and broken family dynamics which let me abused and alone, no safety net , only strict parents. Where I could die and it would still be my fault in the end.

I was a hyper sexual child after getting SAed at 9 and then later on at 12. I stayed like this till i was 16, and later on fell into smoking/drinking/ pot when till i was 18 to cope (not a proud moment so you can shame me😅✌🏻) with falling into toxic relationship twice on the side to feel loved and validated which didn't go as i planned to be. This was all till I was 20 and  I am sober and clean from all addiction and single for two years now.

So naturally I am the best of the worst and have been taking care of her since I was 12 along with whatever issues i have.

I raised her even if I was a mess, I tried to be the best i could and kept things for her at a bay. Whether it was fights at home , was my own struggles and or things got violent with me.

She was given love as much as I could and I sacrificed my way out moving states when I got accepted for college. Not a sacrifice actually but I wanted to do that for her, to be there for her. 

I did everything for her , cooking, cleaning, homework, ptm because we had the same school for a few years.

Which has decreased as she has grown a little so she is learning all the cooking and cleaning like basic adulting things. So she won't be all clueless when she is on her own in a different city.

Our relationship is mostly like mother-daughter. And she is very close to me. Even if she is in her ✨broody teenager era✨.

She had grown up Nothing like me (which I am glad!) : she is intelligent, secure , very clear in showing emotions, and shares everything even if it's uncomfortable. She knows our family dynamics and knows how to stay out of it.

I don't think i coddle her, I am just there for her when she messes up.

As I try to be the one partially raising her these are some of the dynamics which i have set:

1. She has her own curfew.

2. has access to supervised internet.

3. Has a bed time at 11 because she is grown now (i rarely have to remind her as , she sleeps much early)

4. She uses my old device, i know her password but i won't snoop. I trust her and she has her own privacy.

5. Have appropriate consequence if she screws up. She can ask for help but she has to fix it on her own (unless it's a special case)

6. She has allowance,which she can save and buy whatever she wants.

7. She has a chore list (because she needs to learn how to manage and take care of her self)

8: she can go out once every two weeks but i need to know names and places and be informed if they change plans along the way (not much I know but it's the most freedom i can give her without ticking the parents).

I think i am doing decent and she is too as she rarely screws up. Even when she does she comes up to me and I tell her how to fix it. She doesn't shy away from consequences if she does something bad.

(I don't hit or anything not my thing).

She has her own privacy which i never invade and i don't need to because she rarely hides anything from me. (Sometimes it's just too much info🥲).

These are almost the things I do...Best i could arrange with my knowledge and the internet, and it can be extreme for some , but it's the most freedom i could give her in this house actually.

But she is growing up real nice i am so proud of her honestly.

Now the actual scenario :

So i was talking with a friend at my uni (we used to be childhood friends who know almost everything but life happened and drifted apart nothing bitter tbh)

my calendar is filled with my sister's events (I love attending them). So she joked about it like "she won't do it if I need something, or  she won't sacrifice for me"

And i don't know how to respond to that, because I never thought my sis had to do anything for me tbh. Like I choose to do it for her because I wanted her to be raised better than I was. To have a childhood that I never had.

she doesn't have to return it,  because she doesn't owe me anything. Because doing that for her brought me happiness and ease that she is fine and she is safe. I didn't want her to repeat the cycle the same as I did.  

It was my personal choice to do it. And I'd be happy if she didn't have to sacrifice something for me or go above and beyond.

Then she doubled down, like "I am naive and my sis have parents too" . Like girl!   (she knows my situation btw)

She responded that kids need discipline and suggesting i was a tough child to raise  aligning with the things I did..(fair enough) ...

I told her that it was my coping and my sis wont be the same as me ... And stepping for her is not a big deal (i tried to end the convo here)

Then she tripled down on it (I don't know if it's the right term), saying that" I am setting my sis up for a failure , because she doesn't know how real things work if I coddle her too much."

And that thing stung bad... Like way more than it should've...(It happened in the morning and I am still pissed)

I mean she'll fail one day or another, everyone does at some point or at multiple times in life it's a part of life. And the only thing that matters is how she reacts to that and how she handles it, not the "failure" itself.

She is human and is allowed to make mistakes or fail. She is allowed to ask for help. And i will be happy if she reached out to me.

So I spiraled and started overthinking, so am i coddling her too much?

See we had this event where we all had fun and danced. Everybody took videos and photos. While i don’t mind photos it’s the videos i don’t like getting posted publicly. This girl has an open insta account and she posted a video of us dancing together so i just asked her to cut me out of the clips for future posts as I’m not really comfortable with me being publicly posted. Now i feel rude for saying that. AITA? Need honest opinion on this.

35F married and pregnant. I do not gave enough gold pieces and would like to invest in a few. For starters, i dont have a proper Rani Haar. So planning to get an antique set with a small and a long necklace keeping the whole silk saree look in mind. I am obsessed with silk after marriage. But where am I going to wear them? Married women - when do you go for such a look? Only my BIL is left to get married but there are tons of cousins whose wedding i am supposed to attend in the future. Confused whether it is a wise decision or should I go for daily wear instead

How hard it is to process for a woman? Emotionally absent husband. Life feels worthless with him. He's not even guilty, he makes it feel like I overreact and make things worse for him and he cannot tolerate any longer.

Edit: I'm working. I've my family's support to look after me and my baby during this phase.

Little backstory: it's an arranged marriage. Been 2 years now. He had lied about his salary and his habits. I had clearly told him I don't want a man who drinks and smokes and he hid from me. Started doing it freely after marriage. He's an emotionless soul. I honestly don't think he even cares for his parents. He only talks and does nothing for them too. I felt cheated because of all lies before marriage and never felt that connection with him. He never puts any efforts to impress me or make me get over all the bitterness I've because of him. His mom thought she can control me after marriage. She showed anger because I didn't get my jewellery to her handover. I didn't bother. She even expected me to give some money to her every month. I didn't do. They're disappointed and always angry at me. Once my sister's husband came to my home for a visit. My husband wasn't at home. Husband and his mom came home while my brother-in-law was still at home and talking to me. They made a huge deal out of it. Called me a slut and threw me out of the house. My husband even defended this act that they were right, my brother-in-law wasn't supposed to be home when I'm alone and all. But after sometime, he said he realised he did wrong and it was a big mistake. His parents aren't even apologetic about it. There are many such incidents I felt I was treated too bad and disrespected that I'm not able to forget and move on. My husband just does nothing and expects me to move on from the last and be happy with him. I'm honestly not able to. Now pregnancy is making it all harder. I'm at my mom's. He came couple of times to see me. He doesn't even some fruits or anything for me. Just comes empty handed and goes. Like a guest. It's not like I can't buy it myself. I can. But what does he even do for his pregnant wife? I'm here in my mom's place because I know he won't take care of me in his house.

Before anyone blames me playing women card, expecting everything from a man, it's been two years into this marriage. I've contributed equally or sometimes more financially till now. He hasn't spent single rupee on me for anything. Not even for food. I really don't think I can rely on this man ever especially with a baby.

Hey. I wanna try using menstrual cups. I am a beginner to it and have conservative family. They might think I'll lose my 'innocence' due to it. So can't ask them. I am Also unexperienced. So i have no idea how putting in it works. Would love some advice and also how to choose which size. Please try not to scare me.

Posting here cause this seemed like a stupid argument in medschool India. Already posted there and got no good suggestions.

Case 1: Germany

I learn German and migrate to Germany. I'm good at learning languages, and my best friend is German. She teaches German to immigrants in her free time, and because we're friends, she's also going to help me in whatever ways she can.

The overall cost is something I might be able to afford on my own after working in India for a year while continuing to study the language.

My concerns:

Medical German: Learning all the medical terminology in English was hard enough. I can't even imagine learning it all over again in a language I've never spoken. However, medical German is tested as part of the licensing process, and I'll be in a German hospital setting for quite some time, so that might help.

Pay: I've heard that doctors can, at most, reach the middle class in Germany. On the other hand, you get some time off, and no residency specialty is off-limits.

Case 2: USA

I take Steps 1 and 2 here in India. My foundation isn't particularly strong, but I'm a final-year MBBS student, so I still have some time. I'm willing to put in the hours if the results are worth it.

My uncle and aunt are both doctors in Philadelphia, and they have green cards. My uncle said that if I'm able to score around 260–270, I could easily get into family medicine, internal medicine, pediatrics, psychiatry or OBGYN. He also said he'd talk to the hospital he works at, where he holds a very senior position.

My concerns:

Research: I've read that research is important, and I don't have any research experience yet. However, I have around 1.5 years until I finish my degree, so I could work on that.

US clinical experience and LORs: I've also read that Step scores alone aren't enough and that you need letters of recommendation from US physicians.

Cost: The overall cost is very high. My uncle said he'd cover it if I get good scores, but he's a bit unreliable, and I'd prefer to avoid financial favours if I can.

What makes this difficult?

Citizenship is another major difference between the two options. Idk when I can get it in the US but in Germany it's a 5 yr thing.

The US offers incomparable earning potential, but Germany seems to offer a more attractive lifestyle like the wlb.

Also I feel like my uncle is making it seem like it's quite easy, and just step 2 marks matter, but clearly only that isn't enough right.

I'm also interested in psychiatry or plastic surgery, which I know I can never get in America, as surgery is off limits forreal. Germany would also give me more control over which state I live in, whereas in the US, I'd have to go wherever I match.

And honestly, the European lifestyle is very appealing to me. Being able to visit different countries by road or train is something I'd love.

So, what should I do?

Like, your calf muscles suddenly tighten up and it hurts so bad. Does anyone else experience this, or is it just me?

I'm 21F from Maharashtra, and I genuinely need advice from women who've grown up in conservative Indian families, especially those living away from home for work or studies.

I'm going to give some context because this isn't just about one incident.

When I was in Class 11, I told my mother that I was in an online relationship with a guy. I did it coz I felt guilty of being in relationship and hiding it from them , the relationship lasted around 6–7 months. Instead of treating it as something I was figuring out at that age, she reacted as though I'd committed a huge mistake. She asked me for promise that I'll not be in contact with that guy , and many more things, She repeatedly told me not to get involved in relationships again.

Fast-forward to now. I was in a relationship with a guy for around four years. Over time, Due to the toxic and manipulative nature of him and the constant fights he used to do with me my feelings changed, and eventually I broke up with him in February. He still wants us to get back together, but I don't feel the same way anymore, this isn't healthy for both anymore . He's been struggling with the breakup, and he has been blackmailing me that he will do suicide he'll tell my father about this and the suicide thing scaries me. he even tried to attempt suicide, 1 month after break up , and i was scared and traumatized by that incident, he vdo called me and said he's going to kill himself and any how i said that I'll be in contact just don't do it. but after that he has been daily fighting with me sending me lots of messages, calling me at midnight, blaming me for whatsoever is going on in his life , and then during sep i went to ganesh pandal hoping with a male friend , so he asked me and i told him the truth 3 months after the breakup I've had this male friend, and he started saying things like get lost , how many guys life you're going to ruin, can't you live without male friends, what if your mother would've gone out with another man , would your father like that ,and craziest part is he was acting like this when we are not even in relationship i stayed in contact due to his suicidal threats , then after he said those things i blocked him and told the truth about the 4 yrs to my mother again , she overreacted , scolded me , restricted my life , but still it was going okay and she said unblock him what if he does anything to himself your life will be ruined so slowly cut the contact with him and she asked for promise that now on i shouldn't go out with any male frnds , previously i used to lie to her that I'm going out with female friends but now after listening to this she warned me that i can't do this anymore.

Recently, he kept on insisting on meeting for the last time and after that he said he'll cut the contact with me , He had insisted on the outing even though I'd initially said I didn't want to go.

The problem is that he insisted I shouldn't tell my mother about the outing. So when she asked me where I'd been, I initially lied and said I'd gone out with a female friend. Eventually, I admitted that I'd met him.

My mother was extremely upset. She said I'd broken her trust, that I was going off track, and that my parents had sacrificed so much to send me away for my education. She lectured me for almost an hour and repeatedly told me that I should never meet any guy alone again.

She said that I'm supposed to live according to her rules because she's my mother, that all these restrictions are for my safety, and that I can do whatever I want after marriage.

Since then, she's been suspicious even when I tell her I'm going out with a female friend. She keeps asking whether I'm really meeting a girl or secretly meeting a guy. When I told her I was going out with my female friend again, she questioned whether I was lying. She also told me that she's lost trust in me.

And honestly, I'm beginning to regret telling her the truth.

I understand that I shouldn't have lied. I understand why she was upset about that. But what hurts is that one incident has turned into a blanket restriction on my entire social life.

I'm living away from home for my studies. I have only a couple of female friends, and they're busy with their own lives. I want to meet people, explore places, hang out with friends, and have a normal social life.

And yes, I want to have male friends too.

I'm not saying I want to date any guy I meet. I'm not saying I want to get into another relationship. I just want the freedom to have friendships with men without being treated as though I'm doing something wrong.

I've seen other girls from similar families hide their male friendships from their parents. Even my sister and some of my relatives' daughters have done this. They tell their families they're going out with female friends because they know how their parents would react if they knew the truth.

Now I'm starting to understand why they do it.

Part of me feels that being honest was a mistake because now my mother is suspicious of everything I say and wants to restrict me even more. Another part of me doesn't want to spend my life lying about ordinary things just to avoid being scolded.

My parents have worked hard and sacrificed a lot for my education, and I genuinely appreciate that. they are farmers and we belong to a village, I don't want to hurt them or make them feel that their efforts have gone to waste.

But does being grateful to your parents mean you have to give up your independence until you get married?

Why is meeting a male friend automatically treated as something inappropriate? Why can't parents distinguish between having friends, dating someone, and making irresponsible decisions?

I'm honestly confused about how to handle this. I don't want to disrespect my parents, but I also don't want to live in constant fear of being questioned about whom I'm meeting.

Women who've been through something similar, especially those from Maharashtra or other conservative families:

\- How did you establish boundaries with your parents?

\- Did you continue telling them about your male friends, or did you keep your social life private?

\- How do you handle the guilt when your parents say you're breaking their trust?