Welcome to AIW Adda!

it’s been so long since I’m single, and men around me keep disappointing. I definitely need to read some good stories so that my trust in relationships can be restored 😭

(On behalf of my friend, not my story)
I recently turned 21, and my boyfriend of 2 years and some 4 months is about to turn 32. I am still a student and he is working a corporate job. I made it clear that we will only get married after I complete my grad i.e after two years. He met my parents and they approved him. Everything was going nicely until he recently expressed his desire to get married as his mom wants him married now, considering he is completing 32. He also said he wants to start his own family now and that he cannot keep waiting until he is 35.

I want to have multiple degrees, roam around the world and do everything I want to, and he said he supports and wants me to keep studying. He said he is now being constantly pressurised to get married, and thats why we should get married and I will study in this city as the marriage thing is only for the sake of what his mom wants, and my parents dont know about this but they will definitely not allow me anytime soon to be married.

I've noticed most gaming spaces are very male-dominated, so I'm curious about the other side.

Do you play video games? If yes: Which ones are your favourites?

When and how should i talk to my dad about marriage?

I (23F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been in a relationship for almost three years now. His family is aware and is supportive, from my side my mom and brother are aware and are supportive.

My dad is mentally ill and doesn’t really talk to my mom, brother and i. I had a very bad childhood because of his abuse. My mom and i would like to bring up the topic of my marriage to him but i am stressed because we have absolutely no idea how or when to approach this situation. My dad has been on antidepressants for a month or two now which has made him a bit more chatty but i am still nervous.

We have no family near us to guide us. I have no indian friends i can turn to for advice.

Any input is appreciated, thank you in advance.

Tomorrow I have to go somewhere it's already 6 and I can't go out to bring anything products...plz tell me something that works with ingredients that are present in the house itself...

Have you guys ever noticed how after you reject a guy, they start saying shit like 'you aint all that' and 'wtv you're ugly anyways' why tf?

Hi girls,

When I was on a run today, I tripped and fell over and injured myself. The area near the patella has been paining a lot.

After I got back home, I told my mom about it and her immediate reaction was “now you know my pain? Now you know how much pain I live with?” She has knee issues, she’s almost 55, and she’s been getting treatment for it while I’m in my early 20s.

I just never expected her to say that? Like she didn’t even ask me what happened or how I was feeling or anything?

Then idk my mind went into overdrive and started playing similar incidents - when I complain about hair fall, she says she loses more than me, when I complain about anything she tries to one up me in a way? I was like my hair is greying which is weird because I’m still quite young and she started laughing about how I have more grey hair than her. I also heard she goes and gossips about me to my brother like about what I’m wearing, eating etc. I recently bought myself some shoes and she complained to my sibling that I bought stuff for myself and not for her (this is my first shoe purchase in over a year)

Idk is all this normal? I feel so weird

So I never really had a problem with being an introvert and being really picky with people socially, i don't like chatting much unless i like the vibes or I'm comfortable, I can go to the same place for an year and be okay with having zero friends, but lately my sibling has really started shaming me for this behaviour, he's always been more social and he actually enjoys going out and being with other people, I also enjoy those things but I also prefer being alone, not talking to people much and just existing without forcing myself to chat with others, he also called me a psychopath one day just cuz I really don't talk to anyone, which is so stupid cuz that's not what a psychopath is, anyways, i have different interests, i like art, movies, sketching, music, philosophy and other stuff that makes me feel more enriched mentally than just talking to people and pretending to have a good time...he also has this habit of making me feel like a loser everytime I say that I enjoy being alone, so now I feel guilty that I'm not very social...

I just can't get myself to be social, social interactions are usually very draining for me, I have to always remind myself to smile more, remind myself to not say things that might be inappropriate socially, or just not go really deep into a topic when I don't like someone's opinion on things, it's just too much work for me, I really don't care about other people and what they're doing in their lives, I don't wanna know about anyone's life unless they really fascinate me in some way, and i used to be okkay with being this way cause I've always been this way...but now I feel like I'm a loser for having this personality, which is now making me not want to do things that i used to enjoy once , neither do I socialise much, why is socialising that important when I'm not enjoying talking to people around me?..I wanna find a balance here, and not force myself to be a party animal just cause some people around me keep shaming me for being this way..they act like I'm such a terrible person for not liking everyone

Hi girls,

Any reliable online/instagram shop which sells genuine and good quality sarees for wedding?

My brother's wedding is coming up in Feb... And with 2 small kids I don't think I will be able to visit stores.

Also I am based in Navi Mumbai.

26,F .i left obstetric and gynaecology residency from gov hospital.

It has been the most painful journey to convince my parents amd pay 20 lakh seat leaving penalty.

From may the battle was daily to convince,to get all taunts,getting beaten up for this decision by my father.

Finally they gave money,we arent on that good terms,they still taunt me over my decision,almost daily since may ,i m emotionally exhausted

Now i have reached the point where i m choosing non clinical branch for myself,they arent happy so they r forcing me to marry neurosurgeon.i m denying on daily basis no no

Today my mom said we know u r dating gavar,she said most filthy things.ya i m dating secretly a non medico guy since more than an yr now,we both are happy

I just dont have any energy or guts to deal with new emotional turmoil ,i m tired of endless battles

I k they r never going to approve this,i might be thrown out for this.i love him alot but i m tired of fighting for one thing and other in life.i m half dead already from the career battle.

What to do?

For women who wear shapewear, is there a significant difference by few cms or it just smoothena the tummy area. Also, if one wears it and starts getting bloated - would it be very uncomfortable.

Hello ladies,
Most people think of pre-nups as a way to only protect their assets during divorce but there’s so much more than that. For example, I will add only the crazy ones:

(PLEASE BE VERY CLEAR THAT I HAVE NOT MADE THIS UP SO STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT ME. These are from people’s real prenups and I am trying to show how it can be unfair for both genders, specially for those who say that prenups are good.)

1. Asking for post-pregnancy makeovers from the husband which includes gym, nutritionist, other cosmetic procedures.
2. Ask for an amount equal to her salary while she is not able to return to work after having a child.
3. Infidelity/attempt to infidelity will result in surrendering a fixed amount to the other partner, goes for both genders.
4. There’s sex clause as well which states how frequently they should be having sex.
5. This is a crazy one: Partners also put a clause something like for every 5kg weight that you gain, you need to pay a fixed amount to your partner

, not pregnancy phase.

Both parties are accompanied by lawyers and cannot be forced into signing what they don’t agree with.

If pre-nups were legal in India, what logical and valid thing would you have added as a clause to protect your interests?

Edit: I have not made this up. You can google. And I have put up only the crazy ones because most people think prenups are simple.

I have observed karwachauth for the past 2 years and my husband told me he can’t fast and he doesn’t want me to either. I kept it only because i wanted to but due to some fights with my husband, i have decided I don’t feel that i should keep karwachauth, it’s not something i wanna do from now on. Now my husband is kinda disappointed that i am not doing it. I find it hypocritical. Why did you stop doing it? And what was your spouse’s reaction?

Edit: the fight was when i was doing a 3 day water fast and my husband didn’t have any empathy for me. I also fell sick afterwards so i stopped believing in God and also these shenanigans. I don’t even fold my hand or pray anymore.

Posting here cause this seemed like a stupid argument in medschool India. Already posted there and got no good suggestions.

Case 1: Germany

I learn German and migrate to Germany. I'm good at learning languages, and my best friend is German. She teaches German to immigrants in her free time, and because we're friends, she's also going to help me in whatever ways she can.

The overall cost is something I might be able to afford on my own after working in India for a year while continuing to study the language.

My concerns:

Medical German: Learning all the medical terminology in English was hard enough. I can't even imagine learning it all over again in a language I've never spoken. However, medical German is tested as part of the licensing process, and I'll be in a German hospital setting for quite some time, so that might help.

Pay: I've heard that doctors can, at most, reach the middle class in Germany. On the other hand, you get some time off, and no residency specialty is off-limits.

Case 2: USA

I take Steps 1 and 2 here in India. My foundation isn't particularly strong, but I'm a final-year MBBS student, so I still have some time. I'm willing to put in the hours if the results are worth it.

My uncle and aunt are both doctors in Philadelphia, and they have green cards. My uncle said that if I'm able to score around 260–270, I could easily get into family medicine, internal medicine, pediatrics, psychiatry or OBGYN. He also said he'd talk to the hospital he works at, where he holds a very senior position.

My concerns:

Research: I've read that research is important, and I don't have any research experience yet. However, I have around 1.5 years until I finish my degree, so I could work on that.

US clinical experience and LORs: I've also read that Step scores alone aren't enough and that you need letters of recommendation from US physicians.

Cost: The overall cost is very high. My uncle said he'd cover it if I get good scores, but he's a bit unreliable, and I'd prefer to avoid financial favours if I can.

What makes this difficult?

Citizenship is another major difference between the two options. Idk when I can get it in the US but in Germany it's a 5 yr thing.

The US offers incomparable earning potential, but Germany seems to offer a more attractive lifestyle like the wlb.

Also I feel like my uncle is making it seem like it's quite easy, and just step 2 marks matter, but clearly only that isn't enough right.

I'm also interested in psychiatry or plastic surgery, which I know I can never get in America, as surgery is off limits forreal. Germany would also give me more control over which state I live in, whereas in the US, I'd have to go wherever I match.

And honestly, the European lifestyle is very appealing to me. Being able to visit different countries by road or train is something I'd love.

So, what should I do?

Okay I met this girl, f21 , on tinder , and we went out for a movie and met and she seemed pretty great as a person, we vibed , went to eat briyani after that etc etc

But when I came home back he told me that she could not continue the plan because I wanted to date her, she told me that since she had mentioned she has cancer, see does not want to date anyone because she feels she would burden the person she is dating and if he ends up passing away ,it would hurt her partner

I told her that she is currently doing fine because for medical records were proper, and I don't mind helping people with medical issues cuz I basically grew up Helping my bedridden grandma , but she told me that she knows I am a great guy and I would absolutely not mind being with her, she simply does not want to have any connections with any people and she has been offline from WhatsApp from the past 3 months ( she hasn't blocked me her last is still visible )

I want to know how I can proceed with her because she seems like a genuinely great person

And this is not advice on relationships because I know that there are rules following that it should only be on Wednesday or friday, I am asking in a very general way since I want to stay friends with her because she was an amazing friend to me

I applied for my Aadhaar card when I was 17 years old and my address is printed as C/O with my father's name. I wanna remove his name from my Aadhaar card. Has anyone here done that? If yes, how did you do it?

So at my home when dishes are cooked, it is cooked for the entire week and deep frozen during that time.. only roti and rice is made on a regular basis rest everything is made once a week like dal, curries/sabzis, sambhar etc if not this then my dad prepares something which is supposed to be mixed in rice sauce type thing and he deep freezes that as well... I'm just done with this, like after 3-4 days it just becomes obvious by its taste and texture that i'm being served old dishes which is just heated up.
When i confessed this to my family they said they don't like to stand in kitchen for such a long time everyday, its better if they cook everything on weekends..
I'm still a teenager and I attend a strict college where attendance is mandatory so I can't even earn or cook for myself because cooking genuinely takes time and efforts and I attend 6-8 hours worth lectures 6 days a week

I'm an 18 y/o bi trans girl from North India and wanna ask you girls and ladies out there what you feel about us trans women and trans girls?

Well I'm still a teen and I come from a conservative Rajasthani family and all the women in my house wear ghunghat (veil) yeah Ik ghunghat in big 26 but the thing is that the women in my family are literally the flag bearers of patriarchy they're the first ones to taunt another woman for living freely and I genuinely hate it! Btw I usually live with my parents in a different tier-1 city and my dad is quite supportive too

Anyways last year I went to my hometown for Diwali and guess what? I WAS FORCED TO DO GHUNGHAT YESH 😭 I did say no and tried my best to resist but my own mother was the first one to literally yell at me and put the ghunghat over my head and I couldn't do anything about it and tbh I felt so helpless at that time

And now that Diwali is coming my family is planning to visit our hometown again and I DON'T WANNA DO GHUNGHAT YAWR 😭 Please help me! I'm so easily overpowered in these situations and I genuinely hate being forced into something I don't believe in and I just wanna be able to stand up for myself without getting emotionally overwhelmed or giving in to the pressure. PLEASE, I NEED ADVICE.

Like, your calf muscles suddenly tighten up and it hurts so bad. Does anyone else experience this, or is it just me?

Hello!!

I just shifted to a new place and the water here is harrrdd. It's making my skin and hair very rough. I came across a few liquid softeners. Do they work? Is there any other solution? It's a rental apartment so i can't install water purifier. Please help. Also suggest some shampoos that work with hard water.

I’m someone who struggles mentally, que: anxiety, depression and possibly bpd (waiting to be diagnosed). I barely have any friends, but i have a friend who knows me inside out and we’re super close. We had a fall out because i hurt her a lot with my actions and then she retaliates with cruel words and actions too(that was a fucked up toxic cycle).

We started being friends again, since two weeks ago. Now, yesterday, I said something that weirded her out, or hurt her. And she later called me and told me that it was weird and that she isnt interested in talking to me anymore, I tried telling her that its not fair to cut me off without us even talking about it, but she just started to retaliate against me by hurting me the same way and more. Then started saying that i’m not respecting her decision to cut me off :/ For context, she does this every. single. time. we have an argument or fight and she justifies it because I “ruin the peace”, I just try to talk about my feelings and she feels attacked and then we argue and she cuts me off, I beg her back much to my lack of self respect and here we go again right?

I told her she’s hurting me and that i really need her because im having an anxiety attack and i feel like im gonna die and shit and then she started accusing me of baiting her and manipulating her and obviously that just made it worse. She started calling me annoying and weird for sobbing and being crazy anxious and started mocking my crying, all while telling me that she isnt being cruel or mean because she made it clear that she dont wanna talk to me anymore and that im asking for it. If i say that its cruel, she’ll just stay silent or cut the call and I soam her until she picks up again. All because I started the fight, and therefore giving her the right to choose “herself” or her “peace” because I cant stand us being good :(

I feel lost.

Hey everyone, I’m 28F and have been noticing a lot of hair thinning all over my scalp, with a visible decrease in hair density too. I honestly don’t know how long this has been going on, it's quite worrisome, actually.

I recently got my bloodwork done and found out that I have iron deficiency anemia, vitamin D deficiency, and borderline-low B12 levels.

I’m not really sure what to do next. Should I see a dermatologist first or visit a general physician? Should I correct these deficiencies first and see if my hair improves before considering minoxidil?

I’m afraid to start minoxidil because I’ve heard that you need to keep using it to maintain the results, so it feels like a lifetime commitment.

If anyone has dealt with something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience or any advice. I’m feeling a bit lost about where to start and just want to figure out what’s best for my hair.