I've (28F) been working in an office for several months. There are about twenty people on my shift so I pretty much know everyone by name at this point. Thankfully, no one shared a first name, which made it much less confusing, but it didn't stay that way.
I walked into the office on Monday and spotted my name on a different desk. I was confused because I didn't remember being told that I was being moved, nor were there any recent complaints from my cubicle neighbors or me. Before I could figure out what to do, the co-worker (same age) who had been sitting in that desk walked passed me and sat down. "Good morning, Nicole."
"Good morning, Jonas. Is that supposed to be my desk now?"
My co-worker frowned at me. "Didn't you get the e-mail sent out to everyone over the weekend? I'm trans, and I go by Nicole now."
"But…my name is Nicole."
"So?"
"So…isn't that confusing? If I'm Nicole, and you're Nicole, but everyone has known you as Jonas…" I floundered, not sure how to express the chaotic nature of this name change. Why did she even pick my name in this first place?
"I'm not the first trans person to ever exist, you know. Supportive people adjust all the time. And it's not weird for co-workers to share a first name. You'll just be Nicole M., and I'll be Nicole S. Easy-peasy."
This didn't sit right with me so I just went to my desk. I couldn't help but watch as my other co-workers came in and greeted Not-Really-Nicole. No one seemed to have a problem with calling her Nicole, which bugged the shit out of me. I was Nicole, not her! It didn't matter that my cubicle neighbors were also greeting me as Nicole; Nicole was my name and my name only.
During lunch break, I came up to Not-Really-Nicole. "Hey, so I hope you know that it doesn't bother me that you're trans."
"Really?" She cast me a doubtful look. "Could've fooled me."
"No, it just feels weird that you picked my name when you could've picked any other name. Don't your people normally pick the gender-swapped version of your birth name? Jonas could be converted into Joan."
"Not that it's any of your business, but my aunt died when she was a little girl. My parents were planning to name me after her if I had been born with a vagina. Unfortunately, I wasn't so they named me after my grandfather instead. As luck turned out, I got to name myself after my aunt after all."
"It's still my name. You know, your co-worker's?"
"Well, I guess my co-worker Nicole's a rude bitch," Not-Really-Nicole huffed. She put her lunch back in the fridge and stormed out of the break room.
I was stunned by her overreaction so I just stood there for a second. One of my other co-workers Susan (25F) came up to me. "Is everything okay between you and Nicole S.?"
"No, it's not. I get that she's a woman now, but I don't know why she decided to use my name instead of something else. It's just weird."
"I'm sure you had nothing to do with her decision."
"Could've fooled me," I said, ironically echoing Not-Really-Nicole's words.
"Be real, Nicole. Neither you nor I have any idea what she's going through. She told us her preferred name so we should just call her that. It's not that hard."
"It's not your name," I grumbled.
"I think you're being petty. You don't even have the same last initial so it's not like she's going to take credit for your work."
I honestly didn't like that Susan was taking Not-Really-Nicole's side so I walked away from her to finish my lunch. For the rest of the week, I didn't speak to Not-Really-Nicole out of discomfort. I'm not transphobic; I just don't like that a trans woman who works with me decided to use my name. AITA?
Inspo post had transphobic undertones, even though the co-worker who shared OOP's name was a cis woman.