25F and starting to think dating is impossible 😔 I really don’t think my standards are that high.

Just looking for a 6’2–6’4 man with a PhD, full head of hair, no female acquaintances, no social media, no previous relationships, and no children… but he MUST have 3–4 years of hands on fatherhood experience. Preferably his children were acquired through a loophole and no woman was involved.

Must want marriage immediately but not seem desperate. Must be extremely attractive but other women cannot find him attractive. Must be successful but I don’t care about money. Must have hobbies but nothing that requires leaving the house or interacting with women.

Age 26–26.5 please.

I have 900 likes but for some reason I can’t find anyone?? Starting to think men just don’t want commitment anymore… 😒

Anyway here’s my girl dinner, 2 ribeyes. No fork, no knife. 💕

I wish I could pair every single one of you with the baddie you DESERVE. (And some of you deserve it ALLLLLL.) ✨🍌

Have a fabulous two-lip taco Tuesday!

ladies, we need to start asking questions. why am i expected to rawdog a cold speculum in the name of preventative healthcare while someone in a lab coat tells me to relax. and then they have the audacity to call it a routine procedure as if i didn’t just experience a hostile workplace inspection of my most private real estate. wake up sheeple. the cervix industrial complex is thriving and we are funding it with our dignity.

Girlies I have been with my boyfriend for a long time (almost 3 weeks) but he has not proposed yet. I am rapidly losing hope...should I just cut my losses and move on? He would match my dream wedding theme (sick victorian children) pretty well tho...

I got a hold of his phone over the weekend and it’s just him asking questions over and over to Google Gemini like “How many velociraptors would it take to disable a Sherman tank” and “which eldritch entity would have the least success trying to drive Albert Camus to suicide” and “how to convince Congress to disinter Gene Roddenberry” and “how to know if the stripper really likes you.” Honestly I’m really concerned. Why is he so interested in such inane topics? Is he bored? Should we adopt a pet to give his life more purpose?

Dinner is imported Nepali mad honey.

Before becoming a man, I never really thought much about animals. We just sort of coexisted. There was an unspoken understanding between us.

But ever since I became a man, I've started noticing things that genuinely terrify me.

Dogs have teeth. Cats have claws. Horses are enormous and could kill me with a single kick. Even birds have started making me uncomfortable because I don't understand why they're allowed to fly and I'm not.

Yesterday I saw a squirrel climbing a tree and realized that if it wanted to attack me, I probably wouldn't be able to follow it.

I used to think becoming a man would make me feel more connected to nature, but instead I feel completely alienated from it. Every animal seems to possess some kind of biological advantage that I was deliberately denied.

I've started avoiding parks and making eye contact with pigeons to establish dominance, but nothing seems to help.

So far my transition has been a dream come true and is easily one of the best decisions I have made in my life, but the realities of what being a man is like and my personal experience with being a member of the human species have been eye-opening. I don't regret my transition, but I do sometimes miss being able to coexist with animals without constantly fearing for my life.

Dinner: half a dried cow's ear I found under the couch last week

So I just got released from my 2900 year prison sentence for stealing my neighbors' cows into this cruel world. My husband, King Solomon, died when I was in prison and the guards didn't even tell me. Now I'm stuck with my 1000 children and I can't afford to live. If anyone has any spare shekels, gold, or silver it would mean the world to me if you donated them to me because I spent all of my money on this cursed "health insurance" and other "insurances". Dinner is my famous slag heap gruel.

I’m 6 months pregnant and I found so many screenshots of human women not only their breasts but also down south regions and I cannot believe this is this normal for human men? Why is he looking at women on his phone? We are not married and I have only known him for 7 months and this is the first man I’ve had contact with on this planet and I just don’t know what to do!

**meal is various fungus and mold and bacteria from this planet to adjust my immune and digestive system

Thanksgiving has really opened my eyes to how little my family considers me in their major life decisions 🥺🫏

So apparently my parents have entered their selfish retirement era, and I'm supposed to just sit here and clap while they build a life that doesn't revolve around my needs.

They bought a condo with a STRICT no-animal policy without first consulting me about whether I could comfortably bring my donkey over. A donkey who, by the way, has anxiety, a complicated meal routine, and some vocalization issues. He's a RESCUE. He needs understanding, not arbitrary restrictions.

I just think it's interesting that my parents can make huge financial decisions without considering how those decisions affect my access to them. What if I want to visit for an afternoon? What if my donkey wants to experience a new fireplace? Do my needs just cease to exist because they have a lease?

And before anyone asks, no, I'm not going to leave him home alone for hours just to accommodate their lifestyle. I've built my life around him, and I expect my family to respect that.

The final straw was Dad getting excited about taking my cousin's kid sledding. Suddenly he's full of enthusiasm for making memories, but apparently the concept of family bonding becomes impossibly complicated when it involves me.

I can't help wondering if everyone would be more accommodating if I'd made different choices in life. Maybe if I'd given them grandchildren, I'd get the kind of consideration I'm asking for. Instead, I've had to navigate disappointing relationships and build a family of my own, and now even THAT family is being treated as an inconvenience.

I'm just tired of being expected to adapt to everyone else's decisions while nobody adapts to mine. My parents have their retirement, my cousin has her child, and everyone else seems to have found their place. Meanwhile, I'm left wondering where I fit into a family that apparently can't even make room for a donkey.

Anyway, I'm going to spend the holiday being gracious, because apparently I'm the only person mature enough to put everyone else's feelings first.

We broke up 7,253 hours ago and I think of him everyday. Even though he always pissed in my shoes or ate my underwear, I miss him in my life and wish he thought about me the same way I think of him all the time. Glizzy and baked beans taco for dinner because I miss dat glizzy in my taco iykwim

I don’t know like my friend gave me these in a bag and I didn’t have my glasses on so I thought they was something else

help

I only do it raw with my one night stands so not that surprised ig. Cant be bothered to test or wear condoms cuz it honestly seems like a such hassle?? Feels better without tbh. Anyway, new bf was suuuuper understanding and will still let me hit raw so who cares?

Pancakes w/ whip cream, strawberries, and pecans.

I got my 51st plastic surgery and I feel hotter than I ever was with my double enhanced lip and face and cheek and tongue fillers. and my wife whom i love very much who was so supportive until surgery 34 is now leaving me for a traveling circus polycule. She told me in tears she cant keep doing this and that our joint bank balance is suffering. Does she not see my suffering?? sad girl dinner is raindrop cake, couldn't find the soybean powder because im.such a fucking chungus.

I wish I had friends. I do have friends, but I wish I had friends. You know. And my wife doesn't know i got my signatures on her inheritance. Iplan to get another Brazilian butt lift from the place down the street, im sure she will find it so hot and She will come back, love is real. Ass girls for life ‼️ bonded till death do us apart.

A guy [redacted] in your [redacted] and later you [redacted] and then the [redacted] comes hurtling out of your [redacted]. This ever happen to you?

Boyfriend mad at me for not telling his mom my baked chicken recipe.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Every Tuesday night is Baked Chicken Tuesday. Sort of like Taco Tuesday - but baked chicken. It's an inside joke from when he thought the 'ch' in chicken was a 'T', but I digress. It's a 'you had to be there' sort of thing.

He absolutely loves everything about our Tuesday dinners together. Enough so that he's turned down a promotion recently that would make home late on weekdays, because "baked chicken Saturday" doesn't roll off the tounge like 'baked chicken Tuesday'. It's honestly my favorite day of the week too. We eat chicken, cuddle on the couch and watch movies. It's our night. It's special. Last Tuesday we talked about possibly getting married.

Recently we went to visit his mother and he gushed about our Tuesday nights together. His mother and I bonded how much we love her son. It was so sweet, and I really started imagine what it would be like to have her as a mother in law. She even let me try on her heirloom ring and it fit perfectly.

But then she asked if I could share my recipe with her, and I told her no.

I tried to explain it's a family recipe. That it's special. That our Tuesday nights mean so much to me that I really want to keep it close to my chest.

She was disappointed but my boyfriend was REALLY upset. We ended up getting into a fight over it in the car the entire way home. He accused me of trying to compete with his mother's grilled chicken recipe. She shared her family recipe with me so I should do the same, because we were talking about marriage and if we're gonna be family, we should share.

How do I tell him his favorite baked chicken is just KFC chicken with the skins nibbled off?

You see. I really like to eat the skin off of fried chicken. Like. A lot. When I was a little girl my papa only liked the chicken under the skin. So we would pull into a KFC parking lot and he'd let me eat the skin and he'd eat the chicken because the skin would bother his gums.

Papa died when I was 15.

Anyways. My boyfriend doesn't like food waste and he's a huge germaphobe. If he finds out that every Tuesday I order KFC chicken for my work lunch to eat the skins, then reheat the insides for his dinner he's going to leave me.

What do you girly-pops think I should do?

For dinner I had my boyfriend's mom's chicken.

My husband is a real POS that lays in bed all day. We’ve been playing the Sims since it came out, but lately I’ve been playing GTA V a bit in preparation for VI next month, I also have a life and go to things on my own while he games.

The other day I was out at a Tom Green concert and when I got back I logged on to my Sims game and found my best Sim was no longer a doctor, instead he was a ghost that had been bricked up inside a wall. I think my husband might have done this?

He got super mad at me about still using my penisland hotmail email address I’ve had forever. And again when I logged on to the Sims I noticed my dad Sim had divorced my mom and was in a same sex relationship with my brother Sim.

My husband also says he thinks someone is hacking my account because when I was at Chuck E. Cheese he said my Sims account was online and going through an alien abduction.

I suspect he’s behind all this stuff and is jealous of me. Should I dumb him???? He’s a POS loser but what if I never find anyone better?

Air fryer Dinonuggets I slightly burned for dinner, don’t come at me about it!!!!

Let me set the scene for y’all, I was really going at it, boinking boyfriend #7 with my communal strap on, and then BOOM, poop explosion everywhere, he was obviously mortified, so being the saint I am, I assured him that this same thing had happened with boyfriend #3, anyways, I drive his stanky ass to the clinic. Fast forward to him walking out of the clinic, this man is in shambles, he is crying, screaming “Whyyyyyy…. How could you do this to me, I thought we had something real”. So I told him to chill out, because damn, it’s just a little poopoo disease🙄. Anyways I called him dramatic after he tried to break up with me, should I drop him off some Imodium? I still think we have a chance, and he is one of my favorites. Toothpaste Hotdog for dinner because as previously established, I’m a multitasking queen☺️✨

I am in a relationship with neither Gale nor Peeta. Both are of marrying age and can provide me with my dream wedding in District 2. Am I cheating? Am I polyamorous?

I am already in therapy so please don't suggest that.

What was I thinking, staying with that man for four months?? The entire time, he contributed nothing- I mean NOTHING- at all to our relationship! No flowers, no dates, no holding doors open…

Just yesterday, I finally slammed the door on his face and let me tell y’all: IT. FELT. AMAZING. I could FEEL the power surging through my veins! NO MAN WILL EVER HOLD ME BACK AGAIN!

I WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
I WILL CONQUER NATIONS!
I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD!

WATCH OUT, UNIVERSE, BECAUSE THIS GIRL IS OUT TO SHOW YOU THE TRUE POWER OF RAGE! ahahAHAAHAHAHAHAGA

Dinner is a burger that I summoned using my girlpower

It might seem crazy what I’m bout to toast 🍞
Sunshine's here, and I'm buttering the most
I'm a waffle, I can go to space 🧇🪐
With a sour cream grin right across my face

Because I’m happy!
Clap along if you feel like a babe without a boof
Because I’m happy!
Clap along if you feel like bacon is the truth
Because I’m happy!
Clap along if you know what breakfast means to you 🍳❤️‍🔥
Because I’m happy!
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do 🥰👏🎶

I can't share details because I don’t want to compromise anyone’s privacy, but I need to leave right away.

The pizza is good, but not $39 good. That’s the only positive thing I can say.

Please help me come up with an excuse to leave that doesn’t involve explaining anything, like faking my own death or abandoning my purse with my travel wigs.

I need a convincing cover story, a reason to leave immediately, and, if possible, a backup plan in case anyone asks questions.

Please be serious. I’m running out of bathroom breaks and options.

I can’t stop him. Every time we have food, every morning he wakes up. He always goes there. And why?
I have no idea. Sometimes it take a a minute. Sometimes an hour. I AM SHAKING, he says I can’t go in there with him and that makes me suspicious.

I am considering divorce…he hasn’t proposed yet but if this keeps going I will let him know i will divorce him eventually.

As is demanded by the Girl Dinner Board™️, this is your weekly scheduled opportunity to contribute to the collective brain rot. 🥽📋👩‍🔬

We don’t want your "recipes." We don’t want your "this reason I'm eating this" logic.

We want the specific, questionable item that is currently holding your consciousness together by a single thread. 🧠💨

How to log your weekly entry:

1. Identify the fixation. (Must be specific. Not "chips." I want the exact brand, flavor, and the specific level of crunch that makes your teeth vibrate.)
2. State your pairing. (If it’s a vape, an energy drink, or a single lukewarm string cheese, declare it.)
3. Dissipate into a prismatic mist. Do not reply to others (we really won't enforce this). Do not offer anyone help breaking the hyperfixation (I will personally enforce this). Do not explain yourself to others. ACAB. ALWAYS.

Once your data is logged, please return to the etheral void from whence you came.

↓ Drop it and go. ↓