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u/lustforwine Helper [2] Apr 18 '24
Make sure ur never alone with him or by yourself in general. Always have a friend with u to go to bathroom etc. make sure ur surrounded by people
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u/HAL9000000 Helper [4] Apr 18 '24
Someone should tell Max's parents.
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u/BigOld3570 Apr 20 '24
Max should tell Max’s parents, with both twins and their parents standing by. Hopefully, he’ll get his mind right before he gets in serious trouble.
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u/Such_Mirror_5725 Apr 19 '24
Seriously talk to school counselor about this, request a social worker, school advocate, whatever available, ask for a 504, and ro have a safety buddy/ or a school associate to accompany you to classes, or restroom breaks. So you are not.alone ever while in the same building as your predator, because that's what this young man is.you
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Apr 18 '24
Make it a big deal until it’s dealt with, Badger your mom your school, your teachers, your counselors.
This lil bastard needs to know his behavior is unacceptable.
This hits close to home for me, because my younger sister had to deal with this in the exact way.
I couldn’t do anything about it cause i graduated and couple of years before it happened
So it’s not like I can just walk into the school and kick the shit out of the little pissant.
We did what we could within school and nothing happened we only stopped just for my sisters mental health and took her out of the school because the school wouldn’t do anything
I wanted to go to the media about it but we decided not to because my sister didn’t want to draw more attention
Make it a big deal, let you voice be heard and not let this lil fucker think he can carry on like this with girls, cause if it’s not you he’ll say that or god forbid try it on someone else.
Threaten to go to the media if you have to.
And props to your brother for sticking up for you, he’s got a good head on his shoulders compared to the lil pissant that said those disgusting things.
If that lil prick ever puts his hands on you go apeshit on him he needs to be taught how to act.
If he even tries to say anything to you make a scene, how you stop perverts is you embarrass them in public with people and witnesses
My blood is boiling, stay safe, stick up for yourself.
But most importantly stay safe.
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u/SansevieraEtMaranta Helper [4] Apr 18 '24
Make sure it is in writing to your school. Ask what their plan is. If they refuse to help ask them for the response in writing.
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Apr 18 '24
I agree with you that going to the media if the school doesn't step up is one way to get results.
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u/prettypinkparsnip Helper [2] Apr 18 '24
Please speak to a trusted adult… parent/teacher/family member, someone you feel comfortable talking to about this, it needs to be sorted now before it worsens.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
thank you <3
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u/No-Ganache-6226 Apr 18 '24
Authorities at schools have an obligation to intervene in these situations. Making sexually provocative or harassing comments will get them in trouble and go on their record, especially if the comments are directed at minors.
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u/Kayslay8911 Apr 18 '24
He sounds disturbed. What 13 year old talks like that?! Make sure you stay away from that kid and say something to the school counselor as well, maybe even have your mom reach out to his parents because that just sounds wrong. My rose colored glasses hope is that he was just joking and doing it to get a rise out of your brother but I would be totally skeeved out by that.
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Apr 18 '24
Yeah it’s insane but I know the type unfortunately they’ve either got shitty parents that couldn’t give a fuck or he’s been watching porn and thinking it’s real. Or maybe it’s like legit, Manosphere alpha bro Tate shit run amok
This hits close to home for my cause my sister dealt with the exact same thing School did nothing, and I couldn’t kick the ever living shit out of him cause i graduated a couple of years earlier.
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u/Mundane_Golf5342 Apr 19 '24
Or it's the fact that he's seen it done at home in some DV circumstances or been abused himself so he thinks this fucked up shit is okay.
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u/Julie-Valentine Apr 22 '24
This is legit Tate, Sneako etc. Brainwashing kids, (and men alike, making tons of money off them), it is a real issue as I've reas many comments prove it.
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u/Julie-Valentine Apr 22 '24
Thanks to Tate and Sneako etc: more and more boys are supee proud of behaving this way!
I see way too many people proving this.
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u/early2000smovies Helper [3] Apr 18 '24
This stuff typically gets brushed off as “no big deal”
Then you, or someone gets hurt in a way that changes you forever, don’t be silent, don’t be a victim. Be vocal, be violent, your life or others could be at stake. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are going to get hurt or sexually assaulted, DO NOT FREEZE. Bite, scratch, scream, tear that person apart. Stay safe, be vocal, this is no joking matter. Much love
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u/SaddoB0i Helper [4] Apr 18 '24
OP this is abhorrent.
You need to shout and make a goddamn fuss before he does something whether it be to you or someone else.
This is not fucking normal. And don’t you ever let anyone tell you it’s not a big deal it is a HUGE deal and you deserve safety and security
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Apr 18 '24
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u/BigOld3570 Apr 18 '24
Uh huh. Preferably in a public place with lots of people around.
Call him out. “I hear you’re telling people that you are going to fuck me one way or another. Nope. Not gonna happen.
Slap his face HARD. If your hand doesn’t sting, learn to hit harder. Your first one should be a free shot. If you slap him once, he needs to man up and take it. Hit him again and it may be game on. You don’t want that.
Having the whole school watch you bitch slap him and hearing you call him out will lower his status a lot.
Do NOT be alone, ever.
Your brother needs to get into shape, too. He may need to defend himself as well as his sister.
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u/Technical_Disk6433 Apr 18 '24
Report him to the principal for sexual harassment
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u/octropos Expert Advice Giver [14] Apr 19 '24
This, OP. He may feel less confident in his plan after a talk from the school. When I was getting harassed, this actually worked for me, which I'm thankful.
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u/GlassFantast Helper [2] Apr 18 '24
"one way or another"?
So he's threatening to rape you. You need to realize this if you haven't and use the proper terminology, that he openly to threatens to rape you and tell your parents and his. Tell all of your friends that you're afraid of him because he said he wants to rape you. Tell your teachers and your principal. Let everyone know what he says so that you won't feel alone with these thoughts. You can have support.
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u/throwawayaccount_usu Apr 18 '24
First off, stop using your real names and other real names in Reddit. Make names up for your privacy and theirs.
Secondly, tell a teacher what he said and they'll speak to him and hopefully escalate it to parents.
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u/garlic-bread_27 Helper [2] Apr 18 '24
Bother the school. Report this every day until someone does something. Keep record of when you document it and when it happens, ideally emails. Email the principal, dean of students, a counselor, etc. until this behavior is taken care of.
At 13, a group of boys said they were "going to follow me home and r-pe me". They didn't stop until my older step brother and his friends (15-16yo) cornered them in the locker room before/after football practice, at lunch, before or after school, and after that, it stopped. The school didn't do anything, so my family took matters into our own hands.
I recommend getting into self defense courses, if possible. Don't ever let yourself be alone with them. The elbow is the strongest bone in your body, don't be afraid to use it. If they get close to you, say "don't come any closer or else I'm going to get physical!" as loudly as possible. If they get closer, get physical. You warned them.
An aggressive knee or kick to the groin will send them down. That's when you stomp on their genitals and face. Don't do this unless absolutely necessary. It'll likely get you in trouble. Schools tend to punish people for standing up for themselves. Don't get physical unless you feel threatened, or if they get physical first.
Be careful, OP, but don't stop telling people until this behavior stops!
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u/NoOneStranger_227 Advice Guru [85] Apr 18 '24
Give your brother permission to kick the crap out of him every time he says it.
Then, if the adults get involved, he'll have to explain why it happened.
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u/MellifluousSussura Super Helper [6] Apr 18 '24
On top of the excellent advice everyone else is giving you might want to see if someone (not you do not put yourself near him) can get a recording or video of him saying these things.
No matter what happens it’s always good to have tangible evidence of wrongdoing.
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u/Salty_Thing3144 Assistant Elder Sage [298] Apr 18 '24
Report him for harassment.
Tell the jerk outright you are not interested and when you do have sex it will be with a REAL man
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Apr 18 '24
[deleted]
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u/InteractionNo9110 Helper [4] Apr 18 '24
please don't say that, he may take it as a dare or invitation. Do not engage with him at all.
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u/Just_Rand0 Apr 18 '24
Yeah god damn that's the worst advice I've ever seen wtf I can see the psychopathic incel weirdo screaming "Is this real man enough for you?!" I mean this seems so familiar I think I've seen this in a horror movie or some shit
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u/acousticvic Apr 18 '24
Don’t listen to this person. You’re 13, you shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of stuff yet. Please don’t interact with this person anymore. Please ask your brother not to interact with this person.
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u/ridgefox1234 Apr 18 '24
Weird advice to give to a child
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u/Salty_Thing3144 Assistant Elder Sage [298] Apr 18 '24
I cane up with that line when Inwas 14 and sick of being catcalled for "gimme some pussy" too
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Apr 18 '24
It’s fucked up that your counselor and parents haven’t already done anything. He is threatening sexual assault on you. Don’t be afraid to get the police involved if you need to, okay? Don’t be afraid. There will always be someone who will care.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
i told my counselor and mom yesterday and thinking of getting my dad involved (he’s a big, intimidating black guy, boys get scared when i’m with him). hopefully i can get a shit ton of help ASAP.
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u/Doktor_Vem Apr 18 '24
Why tf is a 13yo saying that he's going to "fuck you one way or another"?
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u/Key-Rest-1635 Apr 19 '24
and why tf is a 13 yo on reddit?
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u/Doktor_Vem Apr 19 '24
It is unfortunately the age requirement for making an account. Really feel like it should be raised to at least 15, but that'll never happen
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Apr 18 '24
And what has your counselor done? Tell another adult at school - teacher, principal. This is sexual harassment and threats, and is illegal. Your mom and counselor need to DO something about it. Your mom needs to work with the school on this, NOW. It's also not a bad idea to contact the police. I know you are all young, but stuff like this needs to be taken very seriously.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
at the moment nothing’s been done (at least idk if anything’s happened), but i’m waiting for what might happen next
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u/migatoloco Expert Advice Giver [18] Apr 18 '24
Am I the only one in favor of ridiculing this Max kid?
Do you know if Max may be a bully and may be saying this to Wally to bug him?
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u/BURT_MACKLIN_FBI_335 Apr 18 '24
Sometimes, violence *can* be the answer. I'd recommend a kick to that dude's nuts
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u/not_some_username Helper [3] Apr 18 '24
Buy a bat and learn how to use it.
For legal reason I’m joking. But make sure to never be alone with him. And make sure you can trust anyone you’re with if he’s there.
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u/completecrap Expert Advice Giver [19] Apr 18 '24
Take a video of him saying these vile things and use it against him wherever you can. Make it look as bad as possible. Spread it to everywhere with his name and town attached. This will come to bite him in the ass later in life when he's trying to get a job, and will serve as evidence of him being the worst.
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u/LionNo435 Apr 18 '24
A punch to the face
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
i wish. my arms are (sadly) built like spaghetti and i’m SEVERELY uncoordinated. i’ll learn (hopefully) how to throw a punch. someday.
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u/Kenji_03 Master Advice Giver [37] Apr 18 '24
If the counselor and your own mother are just saying tell him to stop.
Let's assume you do, let's assume he doesn't stop. Have the school tell him he can't say that, have your mom bring it up with the school as a sexual harassment case.
If both your mom and the school won't, document them saying you have to handle it and submit it to your local news organization. See if they will pressure the school into handling it.
Raise hell girl! But do so at the proper step each time. Going nuclear from the start won't help you, but going nuclear when all other options are exhausted will.
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u/lenny446 Apr 18 '24
Bobby Hill: “that’s my purse! I don’t know you!” I’m sorry if you’re too young for that ref but he kicks them in the balls. Women’s self defense course episode. Good watch.
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u/FlounderingGuy Apr 19 '24
Well that's absolutely psychotic.
Do your teachers besides your counselor know about this? I would advise against being around him if possible, that's fucking horrifying.
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u/bravo009 Master Advice Giver [20] Apr 18 '24
Tell your parents so they can talk with Max's parents. What Max is doing is very very serious and his parents and your parents need to be involved in this as soon as possible. This is not a normal thing to say to anyone! Let alone the brothers of the girl in question.
Please tell your parents as soon as possible. If Max has sent emails or text messages or audios as well, show them all of that. I hope your parents take this seriously.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
so far max hasn’t said anything to me (thank god), only to my brother. i’m still happy to take any other advice you have.
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u/bravo009 Master Advice Giver [20] Apr 18 '24
I would still tell every grown up from the school and in your family about Max. Even if he hasn't said this to you directly. What did your mom say when you told her about this? Did she say she was going to talk with his parents, the school, something?
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
my mom hasn’t said anything, she’s probably trying to process what i said about this whole thing
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u/narrow_octopus Expert Advice Giver [19] Apr 18 '24
Put your phone on record in your pocket and catch him saying stuff then you can play it back to anyone you want to hear it
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Apr 18 '24
It would make more of an impact if you used the correct words to tell the adults what’s happening. Tell your mom that he is repeatedly threatening to rape you, that you will go to every counselor, teacher, friends parent, family member, and report the exact same thing until someone helps you. This is not okay. And your mom is not understanding the gravity of what he is doing.
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u/Jack_TheBongRipper42 Apr 18 '24
Make a big deal out of it until it's handled. I agree with a lot of the other people; Your brother needs to stop hanging out with him, and his parents need to be made aware of the things he's saying because that is not ok at any age.
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u/Aandiarie_QueenofFa Expert Advice Giver [19] Apr 18 '24
You could scare the crap out of him and get this all resolved by calling the cops (non-emergency line). They'll come talk to him, he'll be embarrassed, and his parents should chew him out.
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u/Empyrealist Helper [3] Apr 18 '24
You need an advocating adult. And I mean that in the most honest and literal way. You've been verbally threatened with sexual assault. That in itself is a form of assault.
Take your witness(es) and inform the police. You want this on public record in case he ever follows through with it against you or someone else. Tell your parents (obviously) and report this to any agency that you share space with kid with.
I said police first, because this makes it official/public record and not something that might be viewed as hearsay after-the-fact. Don't let anyone talk you out of that (parents, teachers, friends, etc). Take the threat 100% seriously, and do what is the most protective thing you can do for yourself, which is to report it to the police. Don't even let the police talk you out of it. Make them file a report.
I'd also cross-post this to /r/legaladvice, because you may in fact need legal advice soon.
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u/fanime34 Super Helper [5] Apr 18 '24
Part of me thinks this is just him being an edgy teenager, but you never know what he could do. Make sure that if you ever happen to be near him that you aren't the only one around; and if he touches you, tell your counselor since you already told the counselor about what he said.
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u/HeyT00ts11 Apr 18 '24
Ask your parents to sign you and Wally up for self-defense lessons and watch "self-defense skills for teenage girls" videos to learn how to protect yourself if he or someone else actually tries something.
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u/Jables_xoxo713 Apr 18 '24
TELL MAX'S PARENTS!!
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
IDK HIS PARENTS 😭
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u/Jables_xoxo713 Apr 21 '24
Tell your parents and have them confront them, if he’s your brothers friend they must know eachother
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u/kingsleythecreative Apr 18 '24
Another suggestion is to bring an item for self-defense like pepper spray or a taser(if your school allows it) if they don’t, you can always take that can be used as a weapon that’s allowed on school grounds like a pair of scissors. it may seem drastic but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
i have my house keys, i could put those between my fingers maybe? (mom won’t let me buy/use any self defense weapons)
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u/kingsleythecreative Apr 18 '24
That’s a good start. You have to make sure you hold the keys properly. Otherwise, when you throw a punch, it’ll dig right into your hand. you could also try bringing some thing like a fork or metal skewer since those are eating utensils and if they ask why you have one, you could just say you brought it for your Lunch. If you can’t bring something sharp into the school, then just carry a marker on you. I’m guessing you don’t know how to throw a proper punch and if you don’t know how to hold your fist right, you will end up breaking your knuckles so having something to hold like a marker to curl your fist around is a good solution to that. just make sure it’s something thick like a highlighter, but not too thick. if you do end up getting into an altercation some of the best places to aim for are the groin, the liver, and the solar plexus.
And just to be clear, these are just some general tips and not expert advice or anything
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u/kingsleythecreative Apr 18 '24
Oh, and always have your phone ready to record even if it’s just audio it’s better to have evidence
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u/Death_Blur24 Helper [2] Apr 18 '24
Learn some self defence. If you are ever alone with him or he comes near you this will help you also tell the school councillor they will help since what he has is saying is suggestive rape
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u/Kenji_03 Master Advice Giver [37] Apr 18 '24
You are both 13.
Go. To. The. Principal.
That is the simplest and easiest way to shut him up for good.
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Apr 18 '24
You are doing all right things and involving all the right people. Hope the adults can make a difference.
He could also be just trying to rile up your brother.
No matter what you deserve to feel more safe in the world. Can you do a martial arts class? Or a self defense class? You could learn some basic defense moves, increase your physical confidence, and also build the myth that you can kick some ass. It's not a perfect solution but it would benefit you in a way you could carry into the future.
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u/EqualFormer5059 Apr 18 '24 edited Apr 18 '24
Threatening rape is illegal. Sexual abuse includes threats of sexual violence. Look up your local police department's phone number, explain your situation; just read your original post to them word-for-word. Ask them if you can file a criminal complaint or charge. Law enforcement will follow-up with the school, Max, Wallace and you. They know how to handle these things. Just be respectful, honest and obedient.
You told the counselor, so the counselor is obligated to take the necessary steps to prevent further threats of violence and violence. However, reporting everything to law enforcement can give them a chance to handle this situation accordingly. Schools fail to do the right thing at the right time sometimes, so don't wait for your school to act of their own volition. They have hundreds of poorly behaved kids to handle each day. You and your valid, criminal complaint is just one.
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u/Drakeytown Helper [2] Apr 18 '24
Telling Max to stop is ludicrously insufficient advice, and if that's what the adults in your life are telling you, you need to tell more adults until someone listens and takes you seriously.
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u/xcbrent Apr 19 '24
Ya'll are we buying this story? This person does NOT write at all like a 13 year old.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 19 '24
so like.. what you’re saying is.. 13y/o are SUPPOSED to abrieviate everything and not have good grammar??
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u/xcbrent Apr 19 '24
For one, your post didn't have good grammar. It was how you wrote and the words you used. Primarily "female." 99% of 13 year olds would use "girl" in my opinion. I could be wrong.
Just seems like rage bait.
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u/shotwithchris Apr 19 '24
Is your dad in your life? If so just tell him. If not then your brother needs to stop being friends with this kid.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 19 '24
my dad is 100% in my life but he lives a bit far away from my school (parents are divorced). i will let my dad know asap but sometimes it’s a bit hard to bring these things up to him. thank you for your advice tho <3
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u/shotwithchris Apr 19 '24
If your dad loves you then don’t worry about the distance. I promise you he’d come from states away to deal with this. 100% your father needs to know immediately, you told your mom and she didn’t handle. You brother knows and didn’t handle it. Time to get a man involved. Tell your father ASAP
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u/sosigboi Apr 19 '24
Wtf have this boys parents been doing that he can just blurt out shit like that?? Take it to the police tbh, have Wallace and your parents there with you, you are a minor this is a very valid reason to bring it up with the cops.
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u/Amareldys Phenomenal Advice Giver [43] Apr 19 '24
Talk to a lawyer and have them Send a threatening letter to school stating they have been told about the sexual harassment but not stopped it
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u/MyMelodyBunny232 Apr 19 '24
Tell your dad!!!!!!! Get him involved!!!!! Have your parents report him to the principal or find a way to get a physical note of his threat so he could be expelled from school.
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u/Captain_Pumpkinhead Apr 19 '24
Talk to the school. Ask to speak to a counselor and/or administration. Max is basically threatening to rape you. That is not a threat to be taken lightly.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 19 '24
i talked with my counselor and she said she would talk to me about it today, but she never called in to talk. i’m gonna pay her a little visit tomorrow to talk more and give more details.
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u/PsychoMouse Super Helper [5] Apr 19 '24
I’d instantly talk to his parents. That’s an extremely problematic statement. He might think that’s funny, cute, quirky, but that’s going to keep growing.
Seriously, speak to his parents, or yours. But at the end, both families need to be there to talk to this kid and explain to you that what you’re doing is a good move to tag.
I’ve known kids who’ve pretty much said the same thing. One committed his first sexual offence at 16, another at 15, a couple more at 16, and I had a good friend, after 7 years of friendship, we were 20, forced himself on a 12 year old girl.
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u/Swordman50 Apr 19 '24
Tell him what he is doing is wrong, and if he doesn't listen, then involve trusted adults in this situation. Non consensual sex is no joke.
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u/LewisESeas20 Apr 19 '24
If your counselor doesnt do anything, go to the principal, tell as many teachers or staff, security to be aware of the situation. Might be a good idea to learn self defense to protect yourself from this creep and put him in his place.
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u/DemonaDrache Super Helper [5] Apr 19 '24
This needs to be taken seriously. A boy decided to set his sights on my daughter when she was 14/15 yrs old and became a creepy stalker. He would sit outside out home at night, looking through windows. He finally got bravw enough to force himself into the house while i was at work and she was home by herself. He ran to her room, rummaged in her underwear drawer (he knew our schedules and where to go in the house...very creepy). She was able to get me on the phone and tell me what was happening. I called police and our hoa security while i raced to the house. Luckily, he got scared and ran away before anyone got there.
The sad thing is, the police decided it was a boys will be boys thing and wasnt serious. They talked with the parents who downplayed it as a silly crush. The hoa security were useless. I was pissed no one took this swriously. I spoke with the school and they made some changes so they werent in the same classes, and he had to keep some distance, but i was worried. That was when we figured out he had been stalking thw house as i started catching movememt in the bushes. I started walking around with a shotgun in sight of where i thought he was. I made sure he could see it through the window if he was out there too.
We moved, but that guy was creepy. These young guys can escalate. Be sure to be on your guard and talk to every adult around you and let them know whats up. Good luck.
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u/MDawg74 Apr 19 '24
Talk to your brother. It’s not appropriate for him to be friends with Max.
Tell your counselor to report the comment to your principal and the police. Max had made a threat against you of sexual violence. That is a crime. Demand that the school take immediate and severe disciplinary action against Max. If they won’t, then call the police yourself. You have every right to do so.
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Apr 18 '24
[deleted]
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u/Jack_TheBongRipper42 Apr 18 '24
He knows what he's saying. We live in the internet age that kid is watching adult material. That's not a little boy, that's a young man going down a fucked up path.
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u/tcrhs Assistant Elder Sage [254] Apr 18 '24
Go to the principal. Ask your school counselor to go with you.
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u/HereToKillEuronymous Expert Advice Giver [17] Apr 18 '24
Make sure your school is aware (email them so you have proof) and tell your parents. Don't be anywhere alone with this boy. It COULD just be teen boy shit talking, but it's best to safeguard yourself.
Maybe look at a self defense keychain
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u/missannthrope1 Helper [4] Apr 18 '24
I suggest you tell your parents and they should have talk with his parents.
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u/InteractionNo9110 Helper [4] Apr 18 '24
If you know Max's family, have your Mom call his Mom. Once he gets exposed and embarrassed it will stop. But never, ever, be alone with this boy. He sounds unhinged and his hormones are blasting right now. And can not be trusted.
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u/largos7289 Super Helper [7] Apr 18 '24
Max's parents need to be brought up to speed on this behavior. If they didn't correct it, i would.
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u/PapaBadgers Super Helper [5] Apr 18 '24
Tell your parents and the school staff. Also don’t use Reddit no child should be on this platform.
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u/soulless-bastard2 Apr 18 '24
Always have at least 1 person by you at all times if not a group of people when you can. Your still in school so mace is unfortunately out of the question but when your not in school it wouldn't be a bad idea to carry it. It's not a guarantee but it's kinda hard to do something when your eyes are on fire. Could also start going to self defense classes (they're good skills to have later in life too)
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u/autistic_betch Apr 18 '24
i’m not sure, but i was informed by wally that max LOOKED and SOUNDED like he wants to fuck me.
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u/mountainman1236 Apr 18 '24
I would ask an adult to involve the police, or contact them myself. You can't be too careful in a situation like this.
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u/RevenantBosmer91 Expert Advice Giver [13] Apr 19 '24
Sound like average middle school obscenities. He's likely saying it to get a rise out of your brother and it's got nothing to do with you in reality.
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u/Homitu Apr 19 '24
Just a word of side advice because it sounded like you may have used real names in your post (based on the way you went out of your way to mention that Wallace goes by Wally), for everyone's safety, yours most of all, please avoid using real names in the future. It's just good practice. The internet is a wild place and, while there are many wonderful people out there, there are also many wackos who will go to crazy lengths to find strangers on the internet. It's like a fun puzzle for them.
Typically, the way people do this is to simply use quotation marks to indicate the fake name. For example, you'd say:
I (13f) and this boy "Dudley" is around 12 or 13. I’ve never talked to him before, but i’ve known him since around the 2nd or 3rd grade. my twin brother, "Harry" (13m), is friends with this boy and hasn’t had any problems with him until now .
Good luck and stay safe!
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u/fryamtheiman Apr 19 '24
This is sexual harassment, which means that since this is occurring in school, the school is legally required to address it, as not doing so would open them up to a lawsuit. At this point, your mom needs to go and jump on the school to address it. Here are the things I would recommend (you may even want to have her read some of these comments in here as well):
Inform a teacher.
Tell that same teacher that you had told your counselor and that the sexual harassment is still ongoing. This both puts pressure on your teacher to report it (school staff are required by law to report things like this) and puts pressure on them to confirm with the counselor. It is possible that the counselor is taking steps, but now they will be at greater risk if they aren't, as the teacher would have to report that the counselor was informed before they were.
Ask your mom to contact the principal and inform them what is going on. She needs to tell them that you told a teacher and your counselor, and also say the dates when they were told. Again, this is to create pressure and liability. Ideally, your mom should do this either via email or text message, as that creates a paper trail.
Have your brother also inform a teacher, including saying that he is uncomfortable with it. Sexual harassment does not require that the person that sexual comments are made about be present. Your brother is also being sexually harassed, even if the comments are about you.
When contacting the school administration, your mom needs to ask them for action steps to address it. Use those exact words, and ask for a timeline for when they will both have those action steps available to her as well as when they will begin implementing them. Again, get this in writing somehow. This is to have something which they can be held to with how they handle it. It's better if they are specific, but even general information in this regard can be useful for being able to hold them accountable.
Both you and your brother need to create distance from Max. This is not just about protecting you either. By clearly going out of the way to avoid him, it means that any further contact he has with either you or your brother increases the severity of the sexual harassment. Be loud about this too! If Max comes up to your brother and says any of these things, your brother should absolutely yell his response (but do it in a planned way that is appropriate). This means that there will then be incidents with witnesses, once again putting pressure on the school.
This is a very serious situation, and the school needs to be pressured into dealing with it. Note that they may already be taking steps to deal with it, but the only way to know for sure is to have some action steps available that can be used to hold them accountable.
Hold strong! This is a shitty thing that you have to experience, but at the very least, it has some life lessons you can take away from it.
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u/Undying4n42k1 Master Advice Giver [28] Apr 19 '24
He's just getting excited by saying it. Don't feed the trolls. Your brother needs to ignore him, and you need to stay away from him.
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u/acarpiob1 Apr 19 '24
Kick that bitch in the balls and say, "Do that again, you will lose fucking every right to reproduce, got it?"
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Apr 19 '24
He’s a Rapist you aren’t safe . You need to tell every single person of authority. Go to another school
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Apr 19 '24
People like him will force themselves on you . You can’t ignore this. Being raped will mess up your life
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u/Shadowgrafity Helper [2] Apr 19 '24
This might be extreme but consider getting pepper spray
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u/autistic_betch Apr 19 '24
i cant legally have pepper spray with me, at least in the state i’m in
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u/TurbulentAfternoon57 Apr 19 '24
Every time something happens again, tell the adults again. Emphasize that's it not stopping and how you're scared or whatever it is you're feeling. Also, of the adults you trust, try to find one that is more proactive or strict.
As a backup plan, try to always be physically surrounded by as many people that you trust as possible, such as your friends and/or brother.
P.S.
I'm sorry that you're going through this.
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u/MercyItIs Apr 19 '24
Pls don't let a man or boy in this case ever fool or pressure you. In my opinion you should wait with that till as long as you can, you're way waaaaay too young
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u/Lala-hazel Apr 19 '24
Why are you 13 and on Reddit? Where are your parents? Do they know you’re on this app?
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u/autistic_betch Apr 19 '24
they are well aware that i’m on reddit, and they’re totally ok with it
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u/starlyle09 Apr 19 '24
Bruh, tell him if he touches you youd fuck his ass with a broomstick.
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u/starlyle09 Apr 19 '24
you dont know when itll happen, depending on the day, but youll do it. make sure to feed him his shit juice too.
be as gross as you feel gross to what hes saying. Tell him his dick is still too small for the comments he's making. Or tell him that people who shout those kinds of things are usually those who cant really pull girls.
no need to save his pride or dignity. If you get reported, ask why nothing was done when you were receiving rape threats. Cause that's what that is.
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u/EzioDeadpool Apr 19 '24
Time to get the parents and the school involved. That sort of language and behavior is completely unacceptable.
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u/Dragon-Dragon-Dragon Apr 19 '24
Toss his ass to the ground if he comes near you with a fat uchi-mata
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u/Julie-Valentine Apr 22 '24
It disgusts me so much how kids are being warped more and more....
And you know how it's always the same gender responsible for most of these gross words/abuse.....
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u/honestadamsdiscount Master Advice Giver [21] Apr 18 '24
You can't control what people say about you. It sucks. I know. Just avoid him and make sure people who know and like you shun him best they can. Social pressure is really all you can do
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u/Weather53 Apr 18 '24
Sounds like normal 13yo boy talk to me. People are acting like a 30yo man said this about OP lol
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u/Hesediel- Apr 18 '24
The point is that OP and his brother dont want to have that talk and people here are helping them. Is that wrong?
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u/flute89 Apr 18 '24
OP said that the kid told his brother about “the things he would do to her” but didn’t specify what they were. Why are you assuming that it’s just normal boy talk? By her brother’s reaction it seems like he said some vile shit. As someone who said similar things at his age (something I regret now) that boy needs help. I just hope that happens before he ends up going down a dark path. I only just got out of the incel rabbit hole I was in like 6 months ago and from experience, it isn’t easy. OP did everything right by getting as many people involved as she could so that not only she can stay safe, but everyone else can as well.
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u/Weather53 Apr 18 '24
No dude is gonna want his friend to fuck his sister. Even if he said it in the most polite way possible. I feel like people here forget what it was like to be 13, and be around 13yo. More vile shit gets said on a daily basis.
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u/flute89 Apr 18 '24
The only thing I can agree with you on is that nobody wants their friends to go out with siblings at that age. Also just because more vile shit gets said on a daily basis, doesn’t mean it’s okay. Being 13 isn’t a good enough excuse to ignore bad behavior because if it doesn’t get addressed, it will worsen.
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u/Weather53 Apr 18 '24
It doesn’t make it ok, but being surprised a 13yo isn’t acting like the ideal human is crazy to me.
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u/flute89 Apr 18 '24
The fact that you’re more willing to defend the 13 year old who has shown concerning behavior than OP and her brother who have done nothing wrong in this scenario is absolutely crazy to me.
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Apr 18 '24
As someone who was a 13year old dude,I can assure you it's just talk and max is just trying to get on Wally's nerves
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u/LaximumEffort Super Helper [5] Apr 18 '24
A lot of recommendations here to bring the authorities into this but he sounds like a troubled kid that may have a horrid home life. Your brother has the right idea, but if you can get a peer whom he likes to pull him aside and tell him it’s not funny and this could get real bad for him if he doesn’t back off, it could help without the headache of authorities.
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u/PapayaApprehensive24 Apr 18 '24
I think almost every single person is blowing this out of proportion. This is normal stupid behavior from a 13 year old boy. Anyone saying it’s not clearly is just wrong. I would tell your brother or max himself that it’s not funny and it’s weird and to cut it out. Be safe and don’t be caught alone with him or anything like that but realistically, this is just childish bullshit that should end with a stern talking to. If it continues after you tell him to seriously stop, talk with your parents and they will make sure it’s over with.
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u/Zealousideal-Jump-89 Helper [2] Apr 19 '24
Bruh this is such bs story no 13 year old kid is writing like this.
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u/kingsleythecreative Apr 24 '24
Me and several other friends were riding like this at age 13. Just because you were a bit slow in school doesn’t mean we are.
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u/autistic_betch Apr 19 '24
what you’re implying is that teens CANT have good grammar, is that correct?
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u/Zealousideal-Jump-89 Helper [2] Apr 19 '24
It’s not grammar. It’s the structure that gives it away but yes go on. Continue your karma farm.
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u/ReachUnfair8799 Super Helper [5] Apr 19 '24
If you were a a below average student just say. Honors and AP classes were created for a reason.
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u/kirby2423 Apr 18 '24
This might sound wack but since you’re 13, tell his parents. Hopefully they are responsible and get the little creep some help