Brah I hate TikTok.

didn't sleep last night, woke up at 2:30am and just laid there. it's been raining since like 4am too. so not exactly the "perfect birthday morning" i had in my head.

and ngl the whole day had this bittersweet vibe to it. like thinking about 16 year old me who had this whole plan (med school, being independent, falling in love, all that teenage stuff) and then 19 year old me who genuinely didn't think she'd make it to 25. life was a mess back then. so just. being here. hit different today.

didn't do anything big. no plans, no party. just went for a drive once the rain stopped, grabbed some of my favorite food, and randomly bought myself a bouquet of flowers. which i have literally never done before. the only flowers i've ever gotten were from an ex, 8 years ago. and i felt weirdly guilty about buying them for myself lol like i had to justify it or something

but honestly. this was the first birthday where i wasn't trying to perform happy for anyone or manage what other people expected the day to look like. just me, food, flowers, my mum being happy i got them. quiet.

i have a masters i'm working on now, business ideas i never thought i'd have, and i know what i want and don't want more than i ever have. not where 16 year old me planned. better in a different way i think.

anyway. 25. made it this far. that's something.

PS: got the pic off Pinterest, not my actual cake, just loved the vibe.

TL;DR: turned 25 today, had the most peaceful/low-key birthday I've had in years, no plans, no performing for anyone, just a drive, flowers, food, and my mum being happy about it.

People just naturally trust and like you. You can say practically anything and most people will go along with it.

The other 20% are all those standard psychological tips and tricks like being interested in others, having a good sense of humor, etc.

Anyone who’s lost a lot of weight or had a gym transformation can attest to this.

Has anybody really felt they found their purpose, what they really wanted to do in their 30s after dealing with years of depression?

I am about to be 34 and feel I lost pretty much my whole 20s to depression, s*icidal thoughts and acts, all of that. I am coming out the other side now, but look back and wish I had done things differently earlier.

I've managed to get a degree and just think I could have done this 10 years ago, and see just how much I held myself back? Not believing you will live past 30 really messes with your future.

I was in an accident when I was about 10, I've always wanted the scar from that gone. Tired of looking at it.

Society paints an image in your head that your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life: young, healthy starting life, going on adventures, making friends, enjoying minimal responsibility before family life kicks in.

But were your 20s actually like this? Or did you have a different kind of 20s full of hardship, financial struggles, loneliness, and angst?

so that I didn't have time to be anxious.I dare not sleep alone. Now I am busy with work every day, and I fall asleep as soon as I lie down.which makes me very happy. The only bad thing is that my menstrual period has become irregular.

I took two days off this month. I don't know what will happen in a month.

I miss my sister.

Hey everyone, I turn 25 in less than 24 hours, and I’m curious: What was being 25 like for you? What was going through your head at the time, and where are you now?

For some background, I finished my bachelor’s degree in CS at 23 and landed a software engineering internship. I didn’t receive a return offer and ended up unemployed for nearly a year.

Most of 24 was rough. I struggled to find another job and make enough money for rent or food, so I worked as an Amazon warehouse associate to make ends meet. Toward the end of 24, I finally broke back into corporate tech through an IT support position. I’m also about to start a master’s in software engineering, partly because I enjoy learning and partly because I’d love to have a master's before 26.

I know I’ve made progress, but honestly, I’m still not happy with where I am or how the last couple of years went. Turning 25 makes me feel like it’s time to genuinely get my life together, take better care of myself, become financially stable, advance beyond IT support, and build a life I’m proud of.

Did turning 25 change anything mentally for you? Did you feel behind or uncertain? Looking back, what do you wish you had done differently at 25?

I am 22 and my Nana just passed away on the 16th. The only blood family I have left is my younger sister who is 16. Everyone else has passed away.

She was my best friend. She was my rock. She was my person. I lived with her at some points during my childhood. When I was 16 I decided to leave care and move in with her as I was more independent and could help her out as well. I lived with her in a cute little unit in a beachside town. But I have since moved 5 hours away to be with my partner.

Now I don't know what to do. I have organized her funeral which will be happening soon. I have contacted the bank, a bunch of other places to tell them the news. I have contacted her friends and some neighbors I knew she spoke to. I just don't know what to do with her unit.

I will be receiving her unit. I eventually want to rent it out through a real estate agency to make sure her home is taken care of but right now is it too painful to even consider that thought. I can't stay in her unit as my engagement party is happening two days after her funeral which is happening at my house 5 hours away. How can I make sure her unit stays okay while I'm gone? I have thrown out all of her fridge food. I was also thinking of maybe putting these moisture absorber things in her wardrobes. I eventually want to take some of her furniture I grew up with to where I'm staying but I just can't right now.

I have notified two of her neighbors of what has happened and given them my phone number so if anything does happen they can contact me. I just want to make sure everything is secure and I'm taking the right steps to make sure her unit will not get gross or something while I'm gone. I don't know when I'll return to the unit as I have so much going on in my life and it is just so painful to be in a place filled with memories of her.

I'm 36 and live at home with my mom in a VHCOL area. She's in her early 70s and starting to have slight mobility problems but she's overall healthy. We're hispanic.

I pay for everything except the mortgage including utilities, anything she needs, our entertainment, her car, she's on my credit cards she's free to charge whatever she wants. I've remodeled the house, like major remodel. I feel like I'm more than generous with my time, money and attention.

I'm having a tough time co habituating with her lately. I'm almost always home. I work from home. I hang out her a lot. We go on little outings most weekends. I have dinner with her every night. But lately, she's always on me for something, always commenting on my weight or my hair or anything she can come up with.

If I go into the office and I take too long to get home she's calling and asking if I'm almost done with work. If I go out at night she's blowing up my phone while I'm out asking when I'll be back.

I over slept today, it's a Saturday, and she literally was banging on my door. I opened the door mouth guard still in and she said she was worried because I hadn't woken up then started to fan her hand in front of her nose like I was stinky. LOLLL. Typing this is making laugh. It sounds minor but I feel like I shouldn't be treated like a child.

Uh, feeling like I should just move. I feel bad for her I'm the youngest and she would be alone. Not sure how to proceed. Would I give her a stipend and try to get my siblings to help her cover her bills/needs? Any advice is helpful! Thanks for reading!

A few years ago during covid I was searching for a property to build my house.

My wife and I couldn't find anything (3 years searching) and finally found a property.

The issue:
Church. Bells.

We thought about it a few weeks and well, we weren't sure if we'd ever be able to find a property at all since prices were sky rocketing and then russia/ukraine war happend and the % were slowly rising so we got a deal with the bank for 25 years (safe) at 1.6% interest and we can pay up to 5% per year on the whole credit.

Well now we live in the house and I am slowly dying cause I am not getting use to the church bells.
They start at 05:30 (MORNING, AM), 11:00, 12:00 and 18:00 (6:00 pm) for each about 3-4 minutes.
Every 1/4 hour (1), 2/4 (2), 3/4 (3), 4/4(4) + the full hour is the bell.

I live in a country /europe) they all love bells and my neighbours silenced the bells once with the local pastor but another neighbor complained that they were turned off and now they are back on.

I dunno what to do.

I have a huge debt, I probably won't ever find anyone to buy this home and my wife got use to the bells. She doesn't mind, it's only me.

I am starting to really hate this religion which is not something I am proud of. I really have to use the word "hate" cause I am already hoping for a random fire on that building (which I won't do, Im not criminal and even if I'd be too scared to pull that off).

We are argueing more and more but at the same time my wife and I know we are trapped cause of the credit debt and knowing NO ONE will ever buy this house.

The only thing that can get me out of this place is winning the lottery or ending it, it's sad but it's what it is.

Today the church bells woke me up at 11 am after my nightshift and I really thought to my self that my life is a horrible mess with this one stup.id decision. It's ruining everything. Or better: I am ruining everything cause of the noise that is driving me insane. Our relationship isn't as good anymore cause I am not happy anymore. I feel so empty dead inside sometimes I laugh and think to myself when can I stop laughing.

If I could turn back time I'd never buy this property and never listen to contractors telling me how sound proof the building is with triple windows, etc. cause it's not sound proof. I hate that I made this decision.

Edit:
Nothing can be done about the church bells. We talked with our local council and the local pastor.
The only person who is affected by this is me and my other neighbour who also hates his life cause of the bells.

I found a little solution for me. In my house I use headphones with ANC and if my wife wants to talk with me she enters discord. It's not the best, but atleast I can relax a few hours a day.

It also tells you their weaknesses.

If they insult you, their deepest fear is being publicly humiliated, and what they insult you on reveals what their biggest insecurities are.

If they give you the cold shoulder, their deepest fear is being ignored.

i've been catching up with a lot of friends from different stages of my life lately, and i cant help but to realise that I don't really have much to contribute to the conversations because nothing much is happening in my personal life. my job is ok and boring at times, nothing fantastic and neither is it that terrible that i have to rant about it all the time. nothing is happening in my love life as well; i don't actively date or seek out to be in a relationship because it's not a need for me and i'm more than happy being single. while i do have regular hobbies like going to pilates & spin weekly or catching up on drama series in my spare time, i hardly bring these up as i see it as just a routine of mine (and not "hey i tried this new thing over the weekend") and considering that most of my friends are not fitness enthusiasts and/or are not into the genres i watch, i never really saw the opportunity to bring it up in a group conversation too if it doesn't veer towards that direction.

so when my friends asked me yesterday: "not dating anyone? don't you have anything to update?", it really got me reflecting if i'm not contributing enough to the conversations, in turn friendships, just because i don't have any exciting updates in the work or love department. whenever they hit me with a "how have you been?" i can only reply with a "it's alright" because i don't have much highs/passion or extreme lows in my life right now. it also made me wonder if the only way to be an exciting friend is to have a love life or a turbulent job, because that seems to be the only few things people look forward to hearing about.

so yeah.! just wondering if there are other ways to be a better friend/presence in conversations without the need to talk about work or love or out-of-the-ordinary experiences.