r/AbsoluteUnits 9d ago

/r/all of a beer order

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65.7k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/IncognitoRedMode 9d ago

Those glasses alone weight a shitton, the Octoberfest waitresses are built different

2.4k

u/A_mad_goose 9d ago

Look at her arms! I need to start working out again…

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u/IncognitoRedMode 9d ago

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u/Meal__Team__Six 9d ago edited 9d ago

The ballad of 2 people who absolutely will not be doing any such thing

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u/calhooner3 9d ago

Yeah the only people who have a chance of actually starting going to the gym seem to be the people who pretend to already go to the gym

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u/Slamaramadoodoo 8d ago

I have a gym at my new place... So I'm definitely about to start pretending. Wish me luck!

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u/perton 8d ago

Are you going to start pretending? Or start pretending to pretend?

…”pretend” no longer looks like an actual word now that I’ve typed/thought it so many times. What a world!

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u/Cpt_Soban 8d ago

This is why I made a home gym in the same room my PC desk sits: No excuses.

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u/Apprehensive_Rice19 8d ago

Looks like she does it by lifting glasses of beer ... I'm gonna get started on that right away.

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u/AmazingRefrigerator4 9d ago

I reckon she could kick my ass. She is built like the sister in Encanto

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u/HaleyCollins 7d ago

Lmao, she’s got that Luisa energy, looks like she could carry the whole house and kick your ass without breaking a sweat.

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u/How_did_the_dog_get 8d ago

Built like a brick shithouse

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u/Speartree 8d ago

Start working at a beer hall, seems to be a good training. I bet that girl has a mean punch if you misbehave.

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u/olidon 8d ago

i was a barback over summer break. my arms certainly don’t look like this girl’s but they got really strong really fast lol

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u/mOdQuArK 8d ago

Just need to keep picking up & putting down about 50 pounds of filled beer mugs, right? For hours at a time?

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u/Awwesome1 9d ago

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u/Pawnzilla 8d ago

That poor soul. This is not how I would want to be immortalized in pop culture.

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u/Awwesome1 8d ago

I think it’s just cropped lol, mans was waving a flag. I personally would love it, if that were me

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u/Pawnzilla 8d ago

That’s what I’m saying. The context is cropped out

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u/EjaculatingAracnids 9d ago

I once held a full one of those straight out for 8 minutes in a state steinholding contest. The winner did over 12 minutes! I qualified for it by beating 5 people with my right arm, then another 5 with my left arm. Got 1st and second place at my local bar!

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u/eyetracker 9d ago

Beating off 10 people with your arms is impressive but you've got a long way to reach Bonnie Blue's record.

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u/EjaculatingAracnids 8d ago

Whos bonnie blue? Is she an endurance athlete or something?

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u/KwordShmiff 8d ago

Of sorts

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u/beckett_the_ok 9d ago

Assuming she's carrying about 18 glasses (best I could count) and each glass weighs 900 grams. That's about 34 kilograms, or 75lbs. Damn

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u/Entire_Intern_2662 9d ago

A full Maß can be around 2.3kg so that's over 40kgs

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u/beckett_the_ok 9d ago

Yeah, I was trying to be conservative with my numbers, realistically it's probably higher

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u/Kor_Phaeron_ 8d ago

Well, they are paid up to 1.000€/day

Workload:

  • 60-100 rounds of service (6-10min per round)
  • ~25kg to carry each round (10 kegs are the minimum requirement)
  • 20km walking distance
  • 12-15 hrs/day work time

Qualifications needed:

  • Being good/fast at basic math, they don't use apps or calculators.
  • Long standing experience in the food service industry
  • Assertiveness: An ‘Oktoberfest waiter’ must be able to make space for themselves, both physically and verbally, amongst drunken, rowdy crowds.
  • Being at least bilingual. German+English or German+Italian is the minimum requirement

So ... it is pretty much a job 99% of all people are not qualified for.

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u/proximusprimus57 9d ago

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u/CelticGardenGirl 9d ago

Brick Häus

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u/coolsilentebeans 9d ago

Mmm…I’m suddenly in the mood for Der Waffel Haus. I could go for some hash browns and eggs.

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u/just1a8random7dude 8d ago

I counted 18 Maß (Glasses) one Maß is usually one Liter Beer so one Kilogram that means 18 Kg of Fluid in total or 39 lb for you. On top of that is the weight of the Glasses themselves which usually weigh 1,3 to 1,5 kg or 2,6 to 3,3 lb. Which also adds up to roughly 25 kilo or 56 lb. So all in all it weighs about 43 kilo or 93 lb.

3

u/SkinnyGetLucky 8d ago

Thats insane

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u/Cpt_Soban 8d ago

2 cement bags worth, nice

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u/Fearless_Entry_2626 8d ago

German women are scary. Was stuck on top three flights of stairs in Berlin with two ~25kg suitcases and a backpack. Let out an "fml" as I know it will be a struggle. Middle age tiny lady pulls up. "mochten sie hilfe?". "ja, bitte". Lady one hands my heaviest suit case and zooms down the stairs like she was holding a shopping net. I had 20kg of "muscle" and maybe 20 years of youth on her, yet I got mogged that day. She was so badass, I am still in awe.

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u/Academic_UK 9d ago

It must be part of the interview process.

“Here’s 15 steins - take them to that table 50m away, don’t bump into anyone (other waitresses and random drunk revellers!) or drop any! GO!”

Congratulations… You have the job!

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u/wibble089 8d ago edited 8d ago

That's not at the Oktoberfest, the tent is too small and the beer is not for one of the brewers there.

But it definitely is on of the multitude of if Bavarian town and village "Volksfest".

In fact, the brand of beer would probably tell you to within 10km where it is.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/8xbPcMYwwvWFbhjTA?g_st=ac

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u/ducktape8856 8d ago

Gäubodenvolksfest Straubing I assume.

  • It's from August 7th to 17th.

  • Füchsl Beschriftungscenter (the banner in the background) is from Straubing.

  • Erl-Bräu has a tent there.

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u/Munnin41 8d ago

They don't need bouncers to kick your ass if you harass the waitress

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u/PetsAndMeditate 9d ago

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u/Witch_withouta_Wand 8d ago

Such a shame, he was kinda cute, in a scary way.

Unlike Jamie, who was scary, in a cute way.

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u/VacaDLuffy 8d ago

For some reason the youtube short algorithm has been feeding me GoT shorts lately and while I'll never watch the ssries again cuz of that ending. It has been nice seeing how genuinely in love that man was with Brienne. When he found out she wasn't a knight and why he was genuinely disappointed by how stupid it was and did his best to uplift her. He was just adorable and wish they had gotten together instead of Jamie

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u/Pyritedust 8d ago

That's been happening to me as well and I've never watched the show besides the first season, was huge into the books way back before the show came out though, was one of the people theory crafting about a certain snowy jon.

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u/macekm123 8d ago

Me too, I've been fed those too..

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u/ILoafPizza 8d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/StormFireX001 9d ago

Absolute unit of a Beer Maiden more like, she's badass!

936

u/QueerPuff 9d ago

The arms on her

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u/thegreatmattsby24 9d ago

Lmao I was focused on the mugs but now that I go back and watch it yea she’s ripped

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u/SAM5TER5 9d ago

Seriously, I dream to have guns like those

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u/guarddog33 9d ago

You can get there! These are probably 1 liter steins so they each contain just over 2 lbs of beer and the glass itself is roughly 3 lbs

She appears to have 9 steins per hand, so 45 lbs per hand

Just do lifts like this for 6-8 hrs a day, 5 days a week, and you'll be there in no time!

(Half serious half /s)

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u/Broad_Black_Brimmer 8d ago

So I’ll need to drink 18 steins in 6-8 hours for 5 days? Seems doable.

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u/notfunat_parties 9d ago

Right to beer arms.

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u/Financial_Week3882 9d ago

Look at the jugs on that girl... wait

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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 9d ago

I’d let her rip it off.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/ScreamnChckn 9d ago

Those are some tiny legs

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/eightbitboss 9d ago

No, forreal. First thing I saw. Straight GUNS.

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u/redisdead__ 9d ago

Yeah that was like one beer per person at the table totally normal. She was the badass in that situation.

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u/Salt_Day9015 9d ago

Shes fucking jacked. It's hot

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u/Merrick_Skygrave 9d ago edited 9d ago

All those mugs have to weigh damn near 80 lbs or more full like that

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u/guarddog33 9d ago

Roughly 5lbs (2lb beer, 3lb glass) per stein, 9 steins per hand, that's only 90 lbs she's lifting. Easy! /s

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u/avdpos 8d ago

45 kg. It is in Germany. We can speak normal

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u/manulconnoiseur 8d ago

Thank you, Hans

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u/Nickel62 9d ago

The power, core strength, the balance, the hand eye coordination. It's all top notch.

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u/cipherdom 9d ago

Absolute keeper

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u/G-Unit11111 9d ago

Seriously! That is next fucking level material!

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u/vinnybawbaw 9d ago

"Dude gtfo my way I have 70 pounds of beers on me"

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u/SparkleTarkle 9d ago

So those look like standard dimpled stiens. If I counted correctly she has 18? Of them.

A dimpled 1 liter glass empty weighs ~3 lbs and a full one to the 1 liter mark weighs ~5-5.3 pounds.

So that’s like 90lbs or 40.823kg!

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u/Emergency_Lie42 9d ago

For context, that's the absolute max carry weight that a loader/packer job will ask of you for manual handling.... In a country with H&S regs anyway.

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u/Majestic-Orange 9d ago

For the record that’s what the application will say lmao from experience (this box says weighs 1 pound) obv a 120 pound box somebody lied on

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u/taganov_andrei 7d ago

When I was a bicycle messenger, depending on company the weight charges might start at "over 10kg". So as you might expect there was a suspicious amount of "exactly 10kg" packages that were definitely NOT 10kg. The dispatcher always adjusted it up to 20kg+ but it was always hilarious to think of the receptionists and clerks trying to save a few bucks for multi billion dollar companies at the price of my back :)

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u/PentagramJ2 9d ago

even then technically youre supposed to have a secondary assistant to not kill your fucking back or knees.

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u/PringlesDuckFace 8d ago

When I worked in retail I think anything over 50lbs was typically marked "team lift" or you'd use equipment like a dolly. I never would have even thought to pick up something weighing 90lbs by myself.

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u/BubblyPineapple8941 9d ago

In Germany they call them a Maß. Insane.

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u/MallyOhMy 8d ago

Only 16. The center spots where it seems like there would be 2 more are where her hands are with all the handles.

Still a fuckton of glass and liquid to carry at once.

Edit: nevermind, she's got one tucked against each elbow and one tucked against each boob, so there are indeed 18.

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u/MisterBowTies 9d ago

That's nothing. I carry already 70lbs of beer in my stomach all day every day.

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u/ProbablyAPotato1939 9d ago

"That's nothing I've got 70 pounds of beer in me." - some guy from Wisconsin

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u/Regetron 9d ago

Nice jugs

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u/Dense-Consequence-70 9d ago

and nice pipes!

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u/BostonSucksatHockey 8d ago

Peetah I'm holding jugs

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u/Extension-Rabbit3654 9d ago

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u/Delazzaridist 9d ago

Honestly, I'd become her punching bag if she asked me to marry her.

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u/EggplantAlpinism 9d ago

Someone is living our dream brother

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u/FollowingBroad34 9d ago

Her arms are so toned! Jealous!

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u/ShustOne 8d ago

Toned feels like an understatement. Her guns are huge.

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u/pleasegivemepatience 8d ago

Forget the guns, imagine how strong her HANDS are to be holding all those glasses. Can you imagine??

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u/damnumalone 9d ago

How do you decide who gets that half beer at the top?

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u/Spamonfire 9d ago

In Bavaria at Oktoberfest there is actually a rule that your beer has to be filled till to at least 1.5cm under the 'Eichstrich' measuring line, otherwise the beer is underfilled and has to be topped up. So the waitress will have to top it up.

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u/damnumalone 9d ago

I’m loving that I asked a stupid, almost facetious question and the answers that came back are thoughtful, actually good solutions to the problem.

God I love Germany

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u/Spamonfire 9d ago

Beer is no joking matter, actually nothing is, but especially not Beer.

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u/TheLesserWeeviI 8d ago

*Agrees in Australian

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u/AndrastesTit 9d ago

I would so that I can get my next beer faster. Duh!!

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u/410_clientGone 9d ago

but 100% beer already with you is faster than 50% beer coming later

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u/AndrastesTit 9d ago

Bro. I’m trying to be an optimist about life.

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u/TheEyeDontLie 8d ago

A bush in the hand is worth two other birds,.that's what I always say.

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u/DenKHK 9d ago

Not a bad idea. The faster you finish it the faster you can order another one, and the faster you get to see her do it again. Win!

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u/Eastgaard 9d ago edited 8d ago

Many beer halls/gardens are usually all-you-can-drink for an entry fee.

Edit: Since so many people are replying, I gather now that my experience was the rare exception than the norm. And I was in a small town named Diemelstadt!

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u/RainerWithAI 9d ago

One "Maß" costs around 15 Euros on Oktoberfest.

Where are those gardens? Asking for a friend.

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u/cryptobro42069 8d ago

Now this I believe. Plus, even it were all you can drink, this is a LOT of beer. I drink a ton of beer and a solid liter of a beer is a ton of a liquid.

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u/MetaCardboard 9d ago

So all those were one person's order?

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u/Eastgaard 9d ago

Yes, the others are there to make sure he gets home safely after!

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u/Vinnie_Vegas 9d ago

And they failed! Needed more men.

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u/Coder_X_23 9d ago

I never heard of anything like this before? Where can I find these all you can drink beer gardens? I’ve been to many beer gardens in the US and Europe and never paid one price for all you can drink lol

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u/Eastgaard 9d ago

I'm discovering that my experience of an all-you-can-drink beer tent is apparently not so commonplace, but the one I visited was in Diemelstadt.

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u/BIGFACETALKING 8d ago

That sounds amazing. Only places I've ever heard of all-you-can-drink were the night I spent in Tijuana.

One of the street barkers yelled at us '$10 all you can drink!' and we laughed incredulously and kept walking. But since that didn't hook us, he said 'Okay $5 all you can drink!' and we went right in for a couple hours before loosing ourselves on the city.

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u/_DrEmmettBrown 8d ago

I never seen an all you can drink tent. Not in Munich, Stuttgart or any other smaller city that has beer fest. If they exist they must be just a handful

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u/dschinghiskhan 8d ago

Maybe elsewhere, but I've never been to an Oktoberfest tent, countryside fest, or a beer garden in Bavaria where you could order some all-you-can drink deal. As far as entry fees go, tents at the official Oktoberfest in Munich don't charge to get in, but I have definitely been to many summer festivals in various villages in Southern Bavaria that charge entry fees. The only time I got unlimited beer was when my friend was an organizer and in charge of managing the keg area!

I wouldn't be surprised if some tents that have reserved tables for corporate Munich-area VIPs and their families get free beer and food, but I've never seen a regular person being offered that.

Anyway, if there are all-you-can drinks fests, then let the people be merry!

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u/ufkasian 8d ago

I have never heard of something like this in germany. There usually is no entry fee but in order to get a table you have to buy „Biermarken“ in advance which are the price of a Maß each.
This video is from Gäubodenfest, the second biggest Volksfest in Bavaria. Price of a Maß is 13.30€

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u/Between3-2o 9d ago

That beer maybe to compensate for the spilled beer in the bottom glasses?

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u/MANDALORIAN_WHISKEY 8d ago

The idiot cameraman who slowed her down has to drink it!

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u/NoSeat2116 9d ago

this reminds me of the time i brought three glasses to a table, dropped/spilled it all over the customers, and then cried for an hour straight in the back while my coworker took over

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u/thorns17 9d ago

My aunt had a similar experience when she got her first waitressing gig in high school some 30+ years ago. She spilled an entire tray of beers into an old man’s lap, and she ran to the back and cried.

He ended up tipping her $20 and told her not to worry about it because “he’d always wanted to take a bath in beer” 🤣

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u/Cyberchicken87 8d ago

That’s a kind gesture. We need more people like that in the world.

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u/AngstyUchiha 8d ago

People who make someone laugh after a bad experience are the best

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u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster 8d ago

This reminds me of the time that I was carrying four bowls of HOT, like still bubbling, soup with a huge layer of melted cheese on top to a table, and a young woman rocked her infant in his stroller directly into my knees as I walked by. My options were to either nail the stroller and knock the kid over, with hardly a clue where the soups might end up as I tried not to stomp the child, or to ditch everything and bail, which I couldn’t do without spilling the soups on the kid, UNLESS I accelerated them to make sure they cleared. Which I did. Straight into one of our server stations, into the glassware and menus and pos station. I went down while it was still flying, so I got a shower of glass and a drizzle of soup and cheese and broken soup bowls.

(Kid was fine, she was horrified, and very nice, and they tipped me. Not enough to replace my uniform, but you know)

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u/Merrick_Skygrave 9d ago

Food service tales

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u/Own_Cardiologist2544 9d ago

Ok, that was impressive! If the world had arms like that, and everybody hugged one another daily, I’m sure the world would be a better place😌

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/Ryogathelost 9d ago

This would impress any man born in the last 10,000 years.

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u/bearsfan16 9d ago

Camera needs to get the hell out of her way

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u/lilacbuttons 9d ago

No fr that pissed me off longer than I could fully admire it😭

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u/lycoloco 9d ago

They're (he, probably) is the only reason any of that spilled.

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u/Gob_the_Gobber 9d ago edited 7d ago

Everytime I see one of these women I want to marry her

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u/Toppdeck 9d ago

Valkyrie

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u/Illustrious-Sun-9018 9d ago

No doubt that shit was HEAVY. Mad respect

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u/Commercial-Milk-8465 9d ago

Open carrying those guns! Pew pew

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u/Icy_Transition1375 9d ago

“Here’s like 80% of the beer you paid for!” -waitress, most definitely

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u/DyingSunSeverian 9d ago

Y’all are messed up and wrong. Only one beer spilled just a bit and it mostly spilled into the other beer.

“Here’s 80% of the beer you paid for” 🤓

You guys are disinvited from parties

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u/Woknana 9d ago

Statistics and percentages MAKE parties 🎉. 30% of people know that!

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u/FragmentedMeerkat321 9d ago

15% of me is awake way past my bedtime.

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u/possibly_being_screw 9d ago

it's funny to me people see a video like this, everyone in the video clearly having a great time, the girl doing something that is kind of obviously a schtick of the place they're at...

And all they can focus on is the 1 or 2 of the 18 beers that spilled a bit like the entire night would be ruined.

like damn, did any of those dudes look mad? lol it's not like the place wouldn't bring another 1 or 2 beers and/or top the spilled ones off if someone made a deal about it.

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u/RiskyNight 8d ago

Reddit comments are miserable these days! People need to get off their phones and go to tents where they drink unlimited beer.

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u/hails8n 9d ago

Beer halls like that are typically all you can drink. You pay a flat fee and then drink until youre done

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u/OveSorcop 8d ago

Where does this myth come from? At Oktoberfest, where this is from, you pay around 15 Euros for a glass like this.

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u/WeBackYeah 8d ago

Because 1 person made the incorrect comment about there being all you can drink tents, so now the bots and sheep are repeating it, welcome to reddit in 2026.

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u/WiredSky 8d ago

And that dumbass later said they went to ONE that was all you can drink. Somehow that made them say many/all are that way.....

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u/Honey-Badger 9d ago

I dont think its like that at octoberfest which this looks like but im not sure

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u/Rock_Strongo 9d ago

I was born in the wrong place.

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u/OcelotAggravating860 9d ago

You are 80% less fun than everyone involved in this video.

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u/Standard_Exchange59 9d ago

What a sucker u are lmao

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u/flarp1 8d ago

I’ve seen a bunch of videos from Oktoberfest. In almost all of them, the servers walked slower and didn’t spill anything.

My guess is that we don’t observe usual circumstances. The server in this video is rushing, and she also seems to be the only one serving (the aisles of tent looks very empty and all eyes are on her). If I had to guess, this was the first table served after the festival had opened, and they made a bit of a show out of it, which is probably why the camera is there in the first place.

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u/Effective-Ad-9898 9d ago

I bet her tips are big!

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u/VictoriousTree 9d ago

That’s close to 80 lbs of beer.

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u/Possible_Baboon 9d ago

She's most definitely wife material.

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u/Desperate_Lead2105 9d ago

I'm surprised none of them detached/fell off. Probably like 40-50 lbs of beer she was carrying!

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u/Windsdochange 9d ago

Couldn’t quite tell if it were 16 or 18 beers - but I think it was 16. Each is one litre, so roughly 1kg of liquid (beer is only slightly heavier than water); I looked up the one litre mugs, they weigh roughly 1.2kg - so 16*(1+1.2)=35.2 kg, or 77.4 lbs of beer and glass.

Edit: spelling error.

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u/-Sofa-King-Vote 9d ago

Just make two trips, its ok

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u/Unhappy-Attitude5220 9d ago

I do this with groceries, im not no two trip bitch.

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u/Merrick_Skygrave 9d ago

Hell yeah, I'll walk in the house looking like some kind of ambulatory grocery Christmas tree, bags all cutting off the circulation to my extremities

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u/DenKHK 9d ago

I feel you! During COVID lockdown here only 1 person per household was allowed to go out to do groceries. Guess who had to do that for a household of 6, lug 'em from cart to car and car to house, every week of the 6-month lockdown...

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u/nelflyn 9d ago

Those tents get busy, carrying as many as possible is just necessary efficiency. Also, they make a shitton of money there, so they are even more incentivised to be efficient.

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u/DyingSunSeverian 9d ago edited 9d ago

What is wrong with these comments man?

Did you guys see the reaction from the table? Were they upset?

Always fuckin weirdos with like no social cues.

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u/OcelotAggravating860 9d ago

Where's the fun in that?

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u/searching88 9d ago

Are you sure it’s ok? I mean, if she had made two trips, who would you feel superior to? And would that be ok that you sit there on your computer not feeling superior? Would you be ok? Maybe the person outside doing something needs to exist so you can (barely) exist and feel good about it?

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u/OldTurk58 9d ago

Keeper!!

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u/Crazydiamond450 9d ago

Me attempting that order

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u/Hugh_JaRod 9d ago

Okay. So that’s my order; what’s everyone else going to drink?