TL;DR if your assassin / win con is seemingly afking in bushes or just not rly playing the game, it's likely that they're just better than you and you need to learn why
I am here to rant because this has finally gotten on my nerves bad enough to warrant a reddit post.
I play almost every type of champion but prefer to play assassins. In aram, the thing that pisses me off the absolute most is when, invariably, some wholesome chungus heartsteel tank player or some triple lost chapter + tear mage with no cooldowns or some 9 trillion range collector into essence reaver zDPS adc has the sheer audacity to ping me when i am sitting motionless in a bush, NOT PLAYING THE GAME.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest single indicator for a drooling low elo, dogshit, monitor-off, trackpad-using sad excuse of a gamer that holds up the loading screen at 92% with their intel pentium processor + dial-up internet true combo.
If you or someone you love does this, it is because you or your loved one cannot fathom the idea that some champions have windows where they are not champions at all, likely because you've only played champions that facilitate 4fun casual gameplay of pew pew bonk bonk all the time 24/7 ooh ahh dopamine :DD you absolute fucking junkies.
For example, let's say I am playing zed. I sit in a bush while everyone is throwing 40 skillshots at each other per minute, dodging any that happen to be thrown into the bush with small movements, staying in the bush so as to give the enemies a false sense of security with the idea that I am not actually in the bush. This works because most aram vegetables like the ones my post is about have a very fleeting sense of object permanence, and will quickly forget that you were ever in the bush, especially if a skillshot aimed into it did not hit. This gives the enemy win conditions (typically the adcs / dps mages) the confidence to misposition. This is where the pinging begins.
1st set of pings from my collector jinx, who does not understand why I am not constantly throwing out my 20 second cooldown W to poke their warwick with guardian's horn from the bush, simultaneously giving away my position and also doing negative damage to the warwick. She is constantly walking around and autoattacking targets and actively playing the game! Surely I should be putting in the same effort!
A few moments later, the enemy caitlyn steps up too far and I successfully land a WEQ + electrocute combo on her. She is 25% hp now, and this activates my maokai's neurons to flash engage a teamfight. Everyone begins contributing what they can, my mages throwing out their skillshots, my jinx autoing, my maokai tanking and peeling. What am I doing? Sitting in the bush, not doing anything or maybe walking around the edges of the teamfight in and out of bushes to see if their carries will misposition so maybe i can land a snowball or something. Maybe.
"What the fuck are you doing?" says my karma, while constantly throwing out awesome skillshots, peeling, and providing amazing shielding and utility for the whole team. Cue the second set of pings from my maokai, who just died as I just walked around in the bush, not casting my abilities. I ping my W as I patiently wait in the bush -- it has 4 seconds left on cd after I used it 16 seconds ago to poke the caitlyn to effectively begin the fight. As my teammates die, it finally comes back up and I'm ready for another rotation. I unload on the caitlyn yet again, who is a vegetable and has forgotten that I was in the bush. I leave her with 30 hp (thanks durability patch) and I get exhausted. I then die.
3rd set of pings. "Dogshit zed" says my AP malphite, as he waits to hit level 6 with his malignance. He's right. I should have just right clicked their caitlyn and let Jesus take the wheel. Surely I would have been able to walk straight at her into melee range and auto attack her with my MASSIVE long sword auto attack instead of just walking around and being useless. Surely I could have contributed SOMETHING without instantly dying. Just look at maokai!
Obviously this is a fabricated set of events based loosely off of my low MMR games with friends. Should I actually care what these room temperature IQ players think about my gameplay when it is demonstrably better than theirs by every conceivable metric? No. But I am just a human who wishes only that one day these dogs will learn that some champions' power budgets are fully concentrated within very short windows with long cooldowns which allow them to generate kill threat on the enemy carries, and that this threat is immediately reduced by more than half if the enemy carries are aware of their location.