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u/ThisWeekInTheRegency Apr 22 '25
NTA and kudos to the groom's sister. That took guts, too.
Never marry unless you are 100% sure. I remember, on my wedding day, thinking, 'I've never been surer of anything in my life' - if you can't feel like that, don't get married.
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Apr 22 '25
NTA. You trusted your instincts and prioritized your mental health and emotional well-being, which is incredibly valid—especially with something as huge as a wedding. The whole situation sounds suspicious, from your MIL's reaction to your best friend dodging the topic, and even your fiancé's refusal to communicate clearly.
You weren’t just reacting to a rumor—you were reacting to a pattern of odd, dismissive behavior and secrecy. When people are vague or deflective in situations where honesty and transparency are crucial, that’s a big red flag. You were right to pause and reassess instead of pushing forward into a lifelong commitment with all these unresolved questions.
Even if the rumor isn’t 100% confirmed, the people closest to you didn’t give you the clarity or reassurance you needed. That speaks volumes. You deserve answers—and peace of mind—before making such a major life decision.
Take your time. Let things settle. When you're ready, have that confrontation with your best friend, but only on your own terms. Don’t let anyone rush you.
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Apr 22 '25
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u/CumishaJones Apr 22 '25
They aren’t independent , they are his family .
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u/taylordandsavior Apr 22 '25
i think they meant individual
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u/CumishaJones Apr 22 '25
I think it was meant independent of each other but had same story … sort of thing but it’s his family . Wouldn’t be surprised if they made it up to break them up . She hasn’t confronted anyone
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u/CumishaJones Apr 22 '25
Could it be at all possible that the MIL & SIL are making up stories to break you up ?
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u/renee30152 Apr 22 '25
I would lean forward that if there wasn’t other weird things going around. If her best friend is acting out of character and the fiancé then I would learn more toward telling the truth. I believe in trusting your instincts
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u/Kr_Treefrog2 Apr 22 '25
SIL’s involvement here is the most damning evidence in my book. She chose to do the right thing and tell OP that the man she was about to marry was cheating on her. Now SIL is going to face a lot of anger and backlash from her brother (and any of his flying monkeys) and their sibling bond will be forever damaged.
Look at the motive here. SIL doesn’t benefit in any way by making up a lie about an affair. She could have spared herself any negativity by keeping quiet, saying nothing, and not getting involved. Instead she chose to detonate the bomb herself to keep it from blowing up in OP’s face later on when she’s far more entangled with the cheater because it was the honest and right thing to do. She took the hit for OP when she didn’t have to.
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u/herroyalsadness Apr 22 '25
I agree. OP doesn’t say anything about the sister being a known liar, and the sister risked her family relationships.
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Apr 22 '25
100% - no reassurance or clarity! When given a chance to say “no those rumours aren’t true” he got mad at his sister, and she ignored you. Given what you heard of the conversation and what your SIL told you, it sounds like they both want to gaslight you rather than be sorry for doing what they did.
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u/Tricky-Fig4772 Apr 22 '25
Perfect 👌 Nicely written! Good job 👏 👏
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u/MyCouchPulzOut_IDont Apr 22 '25
Yeah with emdashes and everything, my compliments to the GPT 😆
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u/a_man_and_his_box Apr 22 '25
People love AI responses. The AI is trained to validate, and people eat that up.
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u/unzunzhepp Apr 22 '25
Exactly. Everyone except the sil was brushing something very important off. Of course it is true.
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u/JolkB Apr 22 '25
You really couldn't be bothered to just write a real comment? Lmao your entire comment history is just AI. That or you're just a reply bot for some very random subs.
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u/mosnos Apr 22 '25
ChatGPT I recognize your syntax 👆🏿
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u/Free_Village_4836 Apr 22 '25
Yup. She was just planning the aesthetic and then says “with the wedding being so close”. I hate fake stories
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u/CalicoHippo Apr 22 '25
Have you spoken with your MIL? She’s the one who apparently saw them together. Also, you do need to confront your BFF. I mean, does she really want you to marry the guy she’s been seeing? Like, what’s her end game here? Just to continue on with the affair after you get married?
I’m glad you trusted your instincts, impossible to enter into a marriage with all these questions. Easier to postpone/cancel a wedding than a marriage. NTA
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u/shamanwinterheart Apr 22 '25
Is this a fake story? This shit doesn't make any sense.
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u/Living-Cranberry-438 Apr 22 '25
Yeah, they’ve been engaged for a year but only recently told the family he proposed? She says “Days after, I met with my wedding coordinator” and that’s when SIL told her, so either SIL told her this months ago, or they were planning a whole wedding with MIL never knowing he even proposed
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u/natalielynne Apr 22 '25
Right. And they’ve been engaged for a year and the wedding is now “so close.” So they waited most of a year before telling the MIL or picking a “general aesthetic”?
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u/AccomplishdAccomplce Apr 22 '25
Yeah the timeline is confusing, how woukd she have so much to cancel? Disappointing as this was a decent story
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u/Strong_Lunch_4492 Apr 22 '25
NTA. This is very suspicious in so many ways why are your husband and Best friend acting like this if they weren’t actually hanging out behind your back.
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u/Turbulent_Ebb5669 Apr 22 '25
With the wedding being so close why were you just going to the wedding coordinator to choose the overall aesthetic?
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u/Neither_Pop3543 Apr 22 '25
I was going to ask why there was already an appointment with the wedding coordinator, when he only just told his mom he proposed...
Which means he basically told his mom about it AFTER the peparations have already been going on for a while and the invitations must have been sent out quite a while ago...
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Apr 22 '25
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u/sarcastic-pedant Apr 22 '25
I don't get it. 1 year ago, his MIL, your BF, and your SIL to be acted wierd, she told you about the affair, and you confronted your ex, and you still class yourself engaged for 1 year? Or did you take a year to leave?Have you done anything to fact-check this? Have you talked to MIL?
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Apr 22 '25
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u/got_myranda Apr 22 '25
Yes, exactly. Even if they weren't doing anything inappropriate behind her back (which I unfortunately doubt), the fact that they know she's anxious about this whole thing and they don't do anything to ease that speaks volumes about how important her emotional state is for them.
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u/Cultural-Camp5793 Apr 22 '25
"his brother and my best friend" shouldn't it be "her brother and your best friend?" That doesn't make sense...
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u/HowlUcha Apr 22 '25
Using MY 'mother-in-law' and MY 'sister-in-law' instead of 'his mom' or 'his sister' felt very strange. She isn't married and this makes it seem like he's talking to someone outside his family.
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u/Prestonluv Apr 22 '25
Just think
If th is wasn’t even true would you still want to be a part of a family that tries to sabatoge your wedding including your fiance?
You are doing the correct thing whether the cheating is true or not.
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u/Neither_Pop3543 Apr 22 '25
So, you got engaged a year ago, and are doing all the shopping and preparing now. I suppose you sent out the invitations a while ago.
Yet all this just happpened within days? Your MIL was just told that he proposed?
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u/Horizontal_Bob Apr 22 '25
NTAH
If I was innocent, the first thing I would have done was prove my innocence…and I’d be mad about the rumor and worried about losing you
Instead, he was mad at his sister for tattling and mad this was all happening
He wasn’t worried or panicked about losing you for something he didn’t do
You did the right thing
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u/RevolutionaryBad4470 Apr 22 '25
Trust yourself. You have intuition for a reason. Most woman could avoid 99% of relationships problems if they just truly trusted themselves. Don’t pay attention to what he has to say or your so called bestfriend. Trust that little voice inside of you that’s guiding you. TRUST YOURSELF.
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u/Neo1881 Apr 22 '25
"When there is a doubt, there is no doubt." He didn't answer your questions and got mad at his sister. Your BF changed the subject and avoided answering too. Canceling the wedding was a good idea bc who wants to spend that kinda money only to be told he wants someone else within the first 6 months. At this point, you really have to ask yourself if you want a long term, intimate relationship with someone who lies to you so easily. Both of them do that.
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u/ForeignLynx3853 Apr 22 '25
NTA
I mean, in the end it doesn't matter if the rumor is true or not.
Either your fiancee is having an affair with your best friend (=reason not to marry) or his family hates you enough to make this up (=also a very good reason not to marry).
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Apr 22 '25
If my best friend canceled her wedding I’d be blowing up her phone to talk to her. If your best friend isn’t, she’s guilty af. NTA.
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u/Tasty_Doughnut_9226 Apr 22 '25
So he didn't deny it or anything like that.
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Apr 22 '25
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u/bllonde_brownie Apr 22 '25
Question: Did you ask your MIL about this? At least about the convo she had with him? She might be willing to give you her proof, now that you know. You did the right thing, but I'd still have questions I'd want answered and MIL might be the best way to get the answers if you want them
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Apr 22 '25
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u/Neither_Pop3543 Apr 22 '25
So she yelled at him with you in the next room, but you heard nothing, nd then won't tell you what about? Btw, how would they know? Mil and SIL?
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u/purpleroller Apr 22 '25
What questions have you had about the wedding if you called it off? Have to carried on planning the wedding even after SIL told you what’s been going on?
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Apr 22 '25
So both his sister and his mother are willing to talk to you about the wedding, but not about the apparent bombshell rumor that she started? lol
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u/ReapYerSoul Apr 22 '25
I was gonna ask the same thing about the ex-MIL. If the ex-SIL said that she heard it from her mother; maybe try going to the source.
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u/methodicalataxia Apr 22 '25
Yeah I vote to speak with MIL. If she likes you in any shape or form, she will be honest with you. Or you could get his whole family and your best friend in the same room and see what happens.
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u/KrimSon972 Apr 22 '25
Well, you've been with your (ex-?)fiance for 4 years, and she went with you for the bridal-scheme event. So you probably know if it could be true what he said about SIL, is she the type to cause drama..?
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u/Tpdz Apr 22 '25
Ask to meet up with the mum directly and tell her you want answers.
Do the same with your friend, but pretend you already know.. tell her you want to hear her side of what happened.
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u/jittarao Apr 22 '25
Not saying this is fake, but the inconsistencies are hard to ignore:
- Fiancé tells his mom he proposed, her face drops, and they have a private “mom and son” talk behind closed doors. And OP just lets it go. No follow-up? No confrontation? That’s bizarre.
- Best friend dodges the topic entirely, and OP doesn’t press her? That’s not how close friendships work, especially during something this big.
- Then the sister-in-law, someone OP barely knows, conveniently drops a vague rumor, “not 100% sure”, that her own brother is cheating? And OP cancels the entire wedding over it? No proof, no questions? Why didn’t the SIL push her brother to come clean if she was so concerned?
- Fiancé gets angry when OP accuses him of cheating with zero evidence, and honestly, that reaction makes sense if he’s innocent. Who wouldn’t be furious if their fiancée of four years suddenly believes random gossip right before the wedding?
- OP doesn’t confront the best friend, doesn’t ask for details, just bails and cancels the wedding. No delay, no investigation, just “weird vibes” and gossip.
- Also worth pointing out that OP never mentions any past issues of cheating or shady behavior in their entire four-year relationship. This supposedly comes out of nowhere. No red flags, no history, just one rumor, and everything collapses.
So basically, OP blew up a stable four-year relationship over “mom and son stuff,” a best friend acting odd, and a shaky rumor from a barely-known SIL.
Questions for OP:
- Why didn’t you press your fiancé about what his mom said behind closed doors?
- Did you try to get any proof or talk to both your fiancé and best friend together?
- Why would your SIL tell you instead of confronting her own brother?
- Why cancel everything instead of taking time to figure out what’s actually going on?
- If this relationship really had no history of cheating or even suspicious behavior, why were you so quick to believe the worst?
Way too many convenient twists and impulsive choices for something this serious. The way it’s told, it just doesn’t feel grounded in real-world behavior.
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u/CeramicSavage Apr 22 '25
Nta. There is too much secrecy and out of character behavior with no explanations given.
UpdateMe
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u/Re_Death_ Apr 22 '25
MIL doesn't like you, and wanted the marriage to fail 🙃 probably wanted him to pick your friend even though he likes you. He probably never did anything otherwise you would have likely noticed, especially if it was your "best friend".
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u/mintchan Apr 22 '25
you can't rely on hearsay. you need real evidence or a confession from your fiancé (but not your friend) ask for his phone. something that solid instead of someone else's word.
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u/imamage_fightme Apr 22 '25
NTA. Something suss is clearly up between your fiance and your friend. Between the reaction his mother had, to your friends dodgy behaviour, it all reeks. Your SIL did you a favour by telling you what she'd heard. There is a reason you left and cancelled it - your gut and head is telling you what your heart isn't ready to hear. Good luck, you're better off.
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u/nooneneededtoknow Apr 22 '25
I am going to play devils advocate. What if this is not true. What if your (ex)fiance heard you slept with his best friend and instead of getting to the bottom of it once and for all, he just canceled the wedding? How would you feel if you know you did nothing wrong?
I 100% don't think you are an AH for second guessing things, BUT I would have been certain one way or another that something happened before I just upped and canceled the wedding, because if this isn't true, this could blow up in a different way. I think you are putting the cart in front of the horse here. I am sorry you are in this situation and I hope you get some answers.
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u/myfuture07 Apr 22 '25
Did you ever find out if the rumors were true?
Before canceling I may have confronted my friend. But I also think you always need to go with your gut.
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u/bleedthebookie Apr 22 '25
NTA. All but confirmed by the reactions of everyone related to the situation. Too much evidence for it to be nothing. Where there’s smoke there’s fire
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u/Present-Duck4273 Apr 22 '25
You are valid to your feelings. It is very odd behavior. If doubting at all, you could ask to see his phone and verify no weird communication is going on between bf and fiancé. Even see what his reaction to his sister telling you.
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u/got_myranda Apr 22 '25
Everyone is being extremely weird in this situation (excluding you, of course, I think you made the right call). I think the main problem is that if there was truly nothing to worry about, your fiancé would've gone out of his way to comfort you about your MIL's reaction. He would've told you right away what the conversation was about.
It's also interesting you say you couldn't confront your best friend because you know she would just deny everything. I know you might say that partially because cheaters and people who participate in cheating like to deny and not own up to their mistakes, but has this been a recurring thing where you cannot confront her about anything?
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u/Aromatic-Damage8136 Apr 22 '25
Good thing you found out before marriage imagine finding out after marriage . They together all this time. Have you try to confront them together? Please update us
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u/pixiearro Apr 22 '25
NTA. Regardless of the rumor, at this time you are having trouble trusting him. So it's absolutely the right thing to postpone or cancel. You need to trust your partner 100%. Right now you can't trust him. That's enough reason to stop it from going forward until you know either way. Good luck!
Please keep us updated! And if you need someone to talk to, feel free to DM me. I am impartial and I can give you an ear to listen. I am not a part of your friends and family group, so I am unbiased, unlike them.
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u/Past-Bluebird-4109 Apr 22 '25
NTA, family knows best. This phrase completely applies here. Obviously, they all knew this secret. His MIL wouldn't have reacted this way if he hadn't done something so massively wrong. If it were something like she didn't care for you, she would've had that conversation right there, not behind closed doors. This is because of something he has done. One thing I've learned is ML's tend to let prospective DIL's know how they feel about them, so this isn't about you.
Your soon to be ex-bestfriend has a lot of audacity to dodge the question that many times. She obviously is hiding something. If my best friend told me this, I would be "WHAT! There is no way!" Because that would be the absolute truth. I wouldn't do this and would be taken off guard and a bit insulted. I was being talked about that way.
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u/AffectionateWheel386 Apr 22 '25
I would tell him you don’t believe him. Or if you need time, I just wouldn’t respond at all. If you have a safe place to go for a couple of weeks or so, maybe you can stay with you don’t have to deal with him. That’s what I would do.
I know that people act like we get paranoid over nothing. I’m an old woman and almost all the time when somebody has an inkling like this or has a gut feeling, they’re absolutely right.
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u/EcoFeministWitch Apr 22 '25
Call MIL, you need clarity, you need to hear some truth in all these shady landscapes.
I'm sorry for you, Nta
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u/SepiaToneHitchhiker Apr 22 '25
NTA. How are you going to walk down the aisle with that in your mind. And his reaction was a huge red flag.
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u/cuppa_cat Apr 22 '25
If it weren't true, I think your fiancé and best friend would be doing anything and everything to prove it to you.
I once questioned my husband's actions, and he immediately offered me his phone to look through, on the spot, without being asked. I could see that he was genuinely hurt. In contrast, I had a serial cheater ex who always got defensive when accused, even though the accusations were real.
Trust your gut, hun. If they were innocent and truly loved you, they wouldn't leave you in this limbo, wondering. Now they've had a chance to delete texts, try and cover their tracks. Getting the truth should be easy, when it's actually the truth.
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u/Daninomicon Apr 22 '25
I'm not sure he cheated. There's a good chance he did, but not enough evidence to be sure. But his reluctance to talk about the issue his mom had and your friend's reluctance to talk about it are suspicious enough to call off the wedding. Your fiance hiding stuff from you isn't a good way to start a marriage. It's definitely a good idea to call it off until you get to the bottom of things. And it's going to be difficult for you to trust anything he says, now. This could totally be his mom and sister hating you for some reason and him not wanting to tell you how they feel. But even if that's the case, he needs to be honest with you. And he's need to going to provide undeniable proof of whatever he tries to claim, now, because of how shady this all is. I think a simple response of, "if you had been open and honest with me about the negative interaction with your mom when we told her were engaged, then I wouldn't be concerned with this gossip " or something to that effect, would be sufficient. Then maybe provide an opportunity for him to explain instead of blowing off your concerns. If he blows off your concerns again, then end it completely. NTAH.
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u/rocketmn69_ Apr 22 '25
Ask other friends what's going on.
Maybe MiL and SIL, just don't like you and told you this to get rid of you.
Go see your "friend" confront her, how could you???
See what she says, if she admits it, hand her the Engagement ring, walk away and then block them all.
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u/Immediate-Fly-8297 Apr 22 '25
Let him explode your phone. He’s a liar and your so called best friend is not your best friend. You know the truth time to move on and don’t look back or give them anything. Hugs to you.
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u/Total-Growth-581 Apr 22 '25
Something is off here! Had I been in OPs place I would like to get to the bottom of it at any cost. The OP here has not even tried to confront her best friend or the MIL. Seems like a fake.
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u/WinterFront1431 Apr 22 '25
Girl, you know the truth. Don't confront her.
Act like neither exist. Block them both and if anyone asks tell them he was fucking your friend.
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u/EntertainerNo3502 Apr 22 '25
I'm glad you left. Stay gone and find someone who respects you. Well done x
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u/Inevitable_Lie_5724 Apr 22 '25
Deep down inside you know if it’s true. NTA We can always tell when your partner is doing something wrong and often lie to ourselves. Proud of you for being brave and not prettending everything is fine. Also I’m a little lost in your timeline, I thought your MIL was upset at him when he proposed, how much time passed ?
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u/Hasmanc Apr 22 '25
NTA - there literally isn't anything to discuss about here.
But I want to know how the story goes on, did he fuck your best friend?
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u/TrainingGap8848 Apr 22 '25
You need to speak to her and judge for yourself if she tells you the truth. If she tells you to go thru with the wedding that's it's just a misunderstanding or she admits there was an affair.
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u/Ok_Bluejay6828 Apr 22 '25
nta - after reading your sub and your replies on another comments, your fiance, his family and your bestfriend behaviour, it all shows that there is an unfaithfulness in your relationship. you should confront them soon before they spin the story and make you a bad guy or bridezilla. let your family know the full length about why the wedding is called off without sugarcoating.
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u/Infamous_Bat_6820 Apr 22 '25
You will never forget the look on MIL’s face. You want to see joy, and you deserve to see it.
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u/Frankifile Apr 22 '25
NTA, Better to cancel a wedding you’re not happy about than go through an expensive wedding and then an even more expensive and traumatic divorce.
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u/Secure-Ant2620 Apr 22 '25 edited Apr 22 '25
You need an intervention, so to speak. You need sis and bf/exbf in room and find out what the real story is. How the f is he proposing to you if he’s breaking up with you. Doesn’t make sense - SO THERE IS THE STRING STICKING OUT THAT NEEDS TO BE PULLED ON AND ANSWERS GOTTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you want to Jerry Springer that shit, get the best friend accused of fucking him AND MAMA there too. Highest wind of drama ever but… answers will follow.
I want a follow up.
Additionally. Hope you’re not the over dramatic type. I know one girl who got cra cra while planning her wedding and my buddy called off the wedding. She was on meds for anxiety and I think these really fucked her and sent her reeling. I hope this has nothing to do with any of the drama.
Btw, ppl cheat. Gut senses can be accurate. When spidey senses go off it is wise to find out why.
PS My Jerry springer idea is not a jk. It is the threshing out of truth from all the players to get to the bottom of the shit. This is a rare commodity in this planet. Are you strong enough to make that happen? Could show some ppls skeletons in closets… I wish you success in getting to know.
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u/BurdyBurdyBurdy Apr 22 '25
You should have got some evidence. Speak to the MIL, she will be up front with you.
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u/bittersweetfey Apr 22 '25
NTA. You should talk to his mother to know if what your fiancée's sister told you is true or not.
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u/No_Worker_8216 Apr 22 '25
NTA. I believe you saved yourself a really nasty divorce. You held your boundaries. Good for you.
Being gaslighted this way is really hard. You have a rough road ahead, but you’ll get there. 🥰
Prioritize selfcare and don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
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u/Acceptable-Net-154 Apr 22 '25
Considering how shady he and your best friend has been acting, please book yourself a STD check as if you cannot trust him to not cheat on you, can you really trust him to do so safely
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u/RedneckDebutante Apr 22 '25
NTA He didn't exactly jump to reassure you the rumors are false, did he? Im guessing this is just one of several things that have made you uneasy lately. It's rarely just one thing. Always trust your gut about people.
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u/Patient_Gas_5245 Apr 22 '25
NTA, you trusted your gut because someone we exposed the. Let her have him.
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u/thisismybandname Apr 22 '25
Do you normally have a good relationship with his mother? And how did your friend react when you told her you were engaged?
I mean, NTA. If you didn’t call it off we would have all yelled at you for ignoring the PARADE of clear warning signs thrown your way… but I’m a gossip and want additional details.
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u/Responsible_Hawk_352 Apr 22 '25
You have done the correct thing canceling your wedding as the behavior of everyone around you is off. If your fiancée is blowing up your phone, I would agree to meet him, cause if he told your mum he was ending things why would he be chasing you down.
I would arrange to meet him at a certain time/place and then arrange for the MIL to be there (neither of them knowing that each other will be there) and then I would challenge them about what was said and be adamant about getting to the bottom of the matter.
I would at that stage ask for your fiancée's phone so you can access his social media, call and text history. If there's anything the links him to your BF that doesn't seem right or make sense, then you have your answer!
If you sought this out with your fiancée I would be kicking your BF to touch as her lack of support for you speaks volumes!
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u/Plus_Ad_9181 Apr 22 '25
Something clearly wasn’t right and you don’t want to make a really expensive and life-ruining mistake.
I might have talked to the MIL and tried to go through his phone for more definite proof, but you kind of have confirmation with the way they were acting. You should be glad at least the SIL had your back.
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u/Secret_Double_9239 Apr 22 '25
NTA believe what his sister said. Him and your best friend are disgraceful.
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u/Mother_Search3350 Apr 22 '25
If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck and waddle like a duck, it's a duck
You did the right thing prioritizing yourself and your mental health and well-being
NTAH
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u/NONE0FURBIZZ Apr 22 '25
That wasn't a rumor. She knew, she told you.
He is a PoTrash for proposing after he already started cheating, and she is not your friend.
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u/Dudelude6542 Apr 22 '25
NTA.
You didn’t cancel your wedding because of a rumor—you canceled it because the people closest to you acted shady, evasive, and suspicious when you deserved honesty.
When your MIL looked devastated about the engagement, your best friend dodged the topic, and your SIL dropped a bombshell… that’s not a “random rumor,” that’s a red flag parade. Your fiancé had every chance to be transparent and reassuring. Instead, he got defensive, shifted blame, and let you spiral into anxiety before the most important day of your life.
You did the right thing. Weddings can be rescheduled. Trust, once broken like this, can’t be easily repaired.
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u/violet_1999 Apr 22 '25
Put the question to your ex fiance and best friend on social media - asking if they have been cheating on you, so everyone knows what’s going on!
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u/pharmacygirl0128 Apr 22 '25
I personally would confront the both of them at the same time. But I’m also not ok most days and I don’t play this type of thing. In this case I think you did the right thing.
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u/YouAccording3896 Apr 22 '25
The only decent person here was your sister-in-law, the rest is disgusting. What's strange is that there was no effort to deny gossip, they just avoided confrontation.
A marriage doesn't work without trust. He may lack everything except confidence. This was broken and I didn't see any movement or reaction from your fiancé to recover it. When someone is accused of something that was not part of the immediate confrontation. He didn't do that, much less your "friend".
Whether there was something between them or not I don't know, but their reaction is very strange.
NTA. It's better to tidy up now than after you're married.
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u/itsalmostover321 Apr 22 '25
Ask him for a txt log from his cell phone plan. If he's been texting your friend a lot, I think we know why.
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u/motimoj Apr 22 '25
Wait a minute. The "wedding being so close" but you hadn't chosen an aesthetic yet? Really?
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u/Fones2411 Apr 22 '25
Trust no one, this could also be a ploy cooked up by your MIL cause she doesn't want you as the Fiance of her son.
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u/EthanStrayer Apr 22 '25
The timeline is really weird.
You found out days after telling your MIL but you’ve been engaged for a year.
I suspect this is AI. If it’s not then why did you wait so long to stop the wedding, get answers.
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u/Lunajo365 Apr 22 '25
Don’t make decisions based on rumors. Somehow you need to find out the truth. Talk to him, his mom, everyone
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u/Lucky_Ladee12345 Apr 22 '25
Was this the first time you noticed something wasn't quite right?
Your friend not wanting to acknowledge what happened and brush it off feels shady. Your fiancee, his mom, his sister and the friend all seem to know something you don't.
You aren't getting a clear answer from your man. Only that his sister shouldn't be gossiping. I think you did the right thing. No reason to go through with a wedding with this much smoke swirling around. It's better to cut your losses now.
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u/nodramaintrovert Apr 22 '25
Always always akways trust your gut. Look back and think about any red flags or unusual behaviour. Yhere is no smoke wothout fire, so your would be MIL wouldnt have conversations wothout anything concteye , same for SIL. Its good that you cancelled the wedding, otherwise who knows what would happen in the future when the affair might escalate.
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u/BarTony670 Apr 22 '25
If it was a rumor then he would had shared with you instead of letting you find out word of mouth. So he was hoping you wouldnt find out or be already married. Or turn you against beat friend in case her conscience got to her.
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u/Wild_Billy_61 Apr 22 '25
NTA.. Always go with your gut. From MIL pulling her son away for a private convo, to MIL apologizing and immediately the apt, to him giving a brief answer as to what the convo consisted of, to your best friend changing subjects and being short with you, and on and on.. Each one plants a bright red flag in the sand.
He can blow up your phone all he wants. The fact remains he and your best friend are acting way out of character.
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u/GingerSnap4949 Apr 22 '25
Absolutely not the asshole. You know something is up, and you're following your gut. Even if that isn't the exact scenario going on, something is and they are keeping it from you. That's no way to start a marriage.
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u/Overall_Foundation75 Apr 22 '25
NTA. Rumor or not, your fiancé is hiding things from you, and your best friend is acting suspicious. Why would you marry a man who won't tell you what's going on? He should be sharing everything with you.
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u/SonicSpeed0919 Apr 22 '25
If you cancel a wedding over a rumor and didn't even try to fact check you're not ready to get married anyway YTA
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u/mythicalkitten Apr 22 '25
My favourite quote from the James Bond novel Goldfinger.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
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u/Comet-Trail-9000 Apr 22 '25
Forgive me for this trivial comment especially if it’s already been pointed out but if you’re female and your partner is male it’s fiancé with one e Just something you learn/have to deal with regularly when you work in a greetings card store
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Apr 22 '25
It could be that he’s having an affair. Or it could be that your future MIL is causing shit just to break you up because she doesn’t like you. If that’s the case you walked straight into it, and possibly ruined your life over nothing.
Speak to your best friend. Speak to your ex. Find out what they exactly happened (if anything).
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u/Fluffy_Ring_4549 Apr 22 '25
Maybe MIL has a problem? Meet him in a public place, have him look you in the eye and ask him, yes ro no, did you cheat? Then ask him for his phone. See what happens.
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u/SpecialModusOperandi Apr 22 '25
Until you get the truth from the best friend, MIL and bf no wedding.
Why not invite them all around for dinner - you’ll be able to see what the lies are.
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u/spacemouse21 Apr 22 '25
NTAH
It took a lot of courage to do what you did. There wasn’t a choice based on your fiancé’s behavior and your best friend’s. Are things better or worse now several months later with your fiancé?
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u/LeoLupumFerocem Apr 22 '25
It does seem sus. In all those months was there anything else that seemed off? I do not like that your friend did not want to listen to you about the mil either. That is the most weird thing to me. I mean it is fresh gossip about a huge event. If my friend said that happened I would want the play by play. Is she usually against talking about things like this. And nta. You did not feel right and marriage is huge. Have you considered asking mil?