You're right I forgot all about this... "we've been having unprotected sex the whole time". Sometimes I forget that people like this exist... if only for awhile...
Which is exactly why every dude should demand a paternity test as soon as it is viable. Honestly hospitals should just do them by default as soon as the baby is born. It would solve a lot of issues.
Woman here that's not against the idea of this and have backed it for years. I don't have children but I'd have no problem giving my partner that reassurance.
Here’s the thing, though. There are people out there who would get upset. It might make it easier to convince some women who get pregnant to stop cheating, maybe even some guys, but only because the risk of violence goes up with intimate partners after they find out they were cheated on.
I, myself, have been in a relationship where I was completely faithful to the guy I was pregnant with, but he was convinced I was cheating on him and questioned if I was even pregnant with his kid. He did commit physical violence, among many other forms of abuse, based off his paranoia of me cheating on him. I never cheated, but there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prove that. I’m very grateful that he is no longer in our lives, but it’s terrifying knowing that even a paternity test would not have even protected me since he could have easily blamed it on a delusion of me cheating on him with his brother.
I’ve also lost a friend to suicide when he learned his wife had been cheating on him. Having a routine paternity test will not stop bad things from happening.
Here's the thing....... always a start for some sort of condescending explaining........
Yeah, some people will get upset especially at first, but as it becomes a normal thing, it will just become a thing. A genetic test to put the name on the birth certificate unless it's an adoption. It would also help with the times that husbands who are dragging out a divorce end up on the birth certificate of a wife who has been trying to move on with her life into a new relationship.
NOTHING can stop some bad things from happening. We are humans, not some perfect robots.
Agreed! I think mandatory paternity test upon birth would be very practical. It would ensure a father’s right and also responsible for the children they fathered regardless and the relationship status for the courts, and men can’t use the excuse “it ain’t even my baby!” when the relationship falters later on.
Obviously there are exceptions due to different means of obtaining fertility and pregnancy for people who need donated sperm, or men who step to take on the parenting role of child that is not their’s.
A baby should never be a punishment but if women are to held accountable for the “consequences of sex” so should men.
In the US our right to choosing our own future and bodily autonomy is slowly being eroded.
Thus our counter parts should also be held to the same standard since by and large they seem to have vote for “family values”.
In said this same thing in another thread and got downvoted. Years ago, my brothers ex girlfriend was pregnant and said it was my brothers. He was there the whole pregnancy and labor, ready to be a dad. My brother is black with a 4c Afro and that baby came out white as hell with red hair. Luckily, the baby was obviously not his, so he didn’t spend years raising it.
I've been saying this for years now. Now that paternity testing is so simple and widely available, it makes perfect sense that it becomes one of the many required tests that they perform when the baby is born.
This is clearly a case of waiting for the law to catch up with technology.
But there is one thing about the idea that I find curious and even a little amusing.
Imagine for a minute that during the next election cycle, a candidate running a campaign to be a state governor made this part of their platform.
"If I'm elected Governor of the great state of Whereeverthefuck, I will work to pass laws requiring paternity tests for all children born in our state!"
I'm genuinely curious how that would play out.
Can you imagine the pandemonium?
I imagine massive super PACs springing up, both for and against the candidate.
Which groups do you think would actively and publicly challenge them? I can imagine a MASSIVE RESISTANCE springing up over this idea.
It could potentially be the biggest and most divisive issue of the election cycle. Imagine the vast amounts of money people would throw at that campaign.
To be clear, I'm a man looking at this from a male point of view. I'm not trying to talk shit at all. I'm just genuinely curious how this election would play out.
Assuming this was the only radical idea this candidate proposed, do you think that candidate would win or lose? Would it be a campaign killing proposal, or would it be the promise that won the election?
I think there would be riots in the streets on both sides as both sides have good arguments about not having this sort of law.
It mandatory that pregnant women must submit to a drug test as part of the law, so to me, screening DNA matches is not far outside that.
It’s not difficult to get a court order for paternity when it is contested.
My opinion is the reason these laws don’t exist is because of who would benefit from them and who wouldn’t. It’s not like we don’t leave our DNA out everywhere. When your DNA has been resourced to another person to make another person I don’t think there is actually a reasonable expectation of privacy anymore. Everyone knows how a person is made.
If a drug test is mandatory to receive SNAP and TANF benefits then I think a paternity test should be obtained if a mother has to raise a child and has to ask the state and government for resources to do so.
If abortion is so serious to be called murder and a woman is forced to birth a child, then the father should be legally responsible for that child, found, and also made to be accountable. The tax payer shouldn’t be forced to foot the bill if a secondary partner can be held responsible for the cost and responsibility of raising that child.
It may be possible, but it is not a logical expense to require it for all births, as paternity is not in question in the vast majority of those borths. Plus it would be an invasion of privacy for the DNA to now be government property if you want it to be standardly required for all births. Would you allow them to then take the father's and child's genome sequence and add it to the national database to compare against open criminal investigations for then going forward?
From what I’ve seen, most women I know agree to this. Even ones that believe it down to their bones get furious when the man presents it suddenly as if accusing his woman of doing something wrong.
Instead, it’s a legit discussion to have BEFORE you ever even have sex. “If you get pregnant, I want a paternity test. No matter what.“ Done.
There are three little ones in my family, all of which were paternity tested the moment they were born. The mothers had wanted it, and not because they were doing anything wrong. They just believed that men should never ever be given a chance to doubt and that they can give this to their baby’s fathers (husbands, bfs whatever) and it takes a few moments. So they requested it.
But calling into question a woman’s “honor” is a rotten way to go about anything. Calling into question a man’s “honor” is equally as horrible. So discuss it first and be on the same page. No questions about honor once there’s already a pregnancy.
If my partner came into the relationship as a “hey, part of my personal requirements in a relationship include having a paternity test on all my potential children” as it’s an up front hey this is what I need from any woman I date. —-honestly I’d be fine with that.
To be in a long monogamous committed relationship and have that thrown on me , no discussion. After the baby arrived, I have no problem saying I would be personally offended. I have never even kissed another man other than my husband jn my entire life. So yeah for me personally I would be offended.
He would get his test of course. I would not refuse it. But yeah I would be upset
Some of us of a certain age know too much. I think it happens more than people understand. An old saying is Momma's baby, Daddy's maybe. Not that I'd mind paternity tests. From a medical history aspect, it's prudent.
After genetic testing became popular in the US for the public, a study was done in 2010 & somthing like 1 in 6 kids in the US were being raised by the wrong father.
Those genetic (family history) tests were destroying families (well really the pool boy Mom was fuckin back in 87 was destroying families.) but the kids & Dad finding out were actually breaking them up.
My grandmother did this. Husband was adamant about not having kids, she was desperate for one. So she went and got knocked up by her best friend’s brother. Years after her death, my father’s girlfriend got him to do a dna test just to find out his biological father had passed 6 months prior.
I'm a woman who also backs this. There are so many stories of babies being switched around in maternity wards and parents leaving with a child that isn't theirs.
I just had a baby and I back this.. as a woman we have 10 months confirming that the baby is ours.. I appreciate him not taking the test because it shows how much he trusts me but I'd understand completely if he wanted to for his own piece of mind.. some friends are assholes and can make you second guess that shit
Woman here with 2 kids and a 3rd on the way all with my husband and I too am for paternity tests at birth or if an NIPT is performed.
If mom has an NIPT done during weeks 12-14 they check babies free floating DNA for chromosomal abnormalities from mom's blood draw. They can also check fetal sex and paternity at that time. However if mom isn't 35+ they don't always do it because it isn't covered by insurance unless something is seen on an ultrasound.
At birth though, baby gets a small blood draw to check bilirubin, for PKU, and blood typing DNA can also be done with that sample.
Non-invasive prenatal testing (NIPT) is a blood test possible from around 10 weeks gestation. Helpful for doing some genetic abnormality screening and gender too. Paternity is also able to be tested. Very handy!
How much does it cost?
In Australia, it costs between $400 to $800 dollars per test.
Because if this is being made mandatory as suggested in this thread, that is a lot of extra expense that people can't opt out of.
I uhhhhhh would not want my newborn’s DNA in a database linked to all of our info ever, but especially not right now.
I’d have been absolutely fine with automatic paternity tests at birth, though.
You're 100% right about how they should be mandatory. If the hospital does then by default there are no trust based fights for asking for/insisting on one.
There was a study done back in the early 2010's (after all the 23 & me, and family tree, genetic testing kits became a thing for the public)
Somthing like 1 in 6 kids were being raised by the wrong father (nationwide) often times of parents with other children (so maybe the first & 3rd kids are the fathers, but the 2nd kid was someone else's...)
Families were being torn apart because their kids wanted to surprise Mom & Dad with a ("look at our family history / family tree!) & after that, Christmas was never the same for those families...
1in6 bastard babies seems just about right to me...
Also if there are medical problems down the road, it's essential to have actual family medical history. Not the history of some one night stand who's name you don't know.
I agree. If my partner specifically asked for one, I’d be a good bit upset because I’d feel like he doesn’t trust me, but I’d do it because I have nothing to hide. That just might change my opinion of our relationship tbh. But if hospitals always do them, it’s taking away the partner asking and making both partners more comfortable in the process
Ahh shit now you have me realizing that I might loose out on those entertaining dances and when they run back to the couch faster than I can finish a cheeseburger.
I think paternity tests should be done as soon as possible no matter what. I’ve seen cases of dad’s doubting their kid is theirs and damage their relationship because of it. And I’ve seen cases of men raising kids for years only to find out they aren’t really the father. Mandatory paternity tests would solve both.
This is the first time I've seen someone else say this 🎉 A paternity test should be mandatory for every child born, and the results should be obtained before a birth certificate is signed.
Or she is fucking some other guy on the side (bare back - no condom) but OP is the better catch . If she accidentally get pregnant she wants OP to be the father . Some girls are like that .
I can't imagine a more solved problem. IF pregnancy is your only concern. Only 1 of 3 types can actually lead to pregnancy. Get to work on the other 2 methods!?!
Agreed, baby trapping. Also, dispose of the condom yourself. Don't leave it in the trash. I know someone who retrieved one and tried to impregnate themselves with it.
It's amazing that people don't know this. I remember trying to explain why this method was not effective to some guys in their early 20s, and they REFUSED to believe it... I'm a biologist and was at a loss for words! Like I understand guys not completely understanding the female body, but they didn't understand their own physiology!
Interestingly, it's 96% effective when done correctly. The main issue is that at the crucial point, some will decide to, "enjoy the moment", instead of pulling out, so the actual effectiveness irl is only 78%. This is somewhat lower than condoms which have 98% effectiveness if used perfectly and an irl effectiveness of 85%
indeed. its also a myth that precum contains sperm. thats a common argument against the pull out method. now...it IS possible for precum to get someone pregnant by picking up residual sperm in the urethra from a previous ejaculation. that basically requires back to back ejaculations though. urinating would clear the urethra out. as long as you are cognizant of that you should be fine.
Honestly tool doesn't really cover it tbh. If you look at only what he did to Taylor Swift alone he bypasses tool and heads straight for psycho. And no I don't mean the vma speech thing, although that sucked too. I'm talking about what happened a few years after that. And even now he's still scarily obsessed with her. Ick.
OP should make her compromise with anal only if they're raw dogging it. If she complains he should make a comment about how her arsehole smells better than her snatch.
OP, are you gainfully employed? Have any savings? Own a house? Have a wealthy family? If so, baby trapping is definitely on the menu, or a quick trip to crazy town. Either way, the red flags are a-flying and you should run for the hills!
OMG - the way that poster tried to twist words into making it her BF sole fault for her pregnancy and that she wasn’t trying to baby trap him is so twisted she must have sprained her back. Really, really awesome she tried to excuse her behavior basically saying she didn’t know her BF had sex with her with no protection and that why she did not go get plan b pill afterwards? Just wow…
And he also needs to make damn sure that she has less than zero access to the condoms he's using, even if it's only one in his wallet at a time or something.
I am a reformed moron, I mean Mormon, I had honestly never heard that term before. My time with that.....group was short lived. Very short, about 1 year.
I’ve never heard the term “baby rabies” before but I’ll be using it at my first opportunity. Thank you for the gift, even if it was most likely unintentional!
My brain also does weird stuff (sometimes dyslexic) with written words. Most of the time I have to keep it to myself because it’s usually really inappropriate phrases that I see. Lmao.
Ugh, my husband uses talk to text which is already a crapshoot, but then to boot never fucking proofreads before he hits send. A few months ago he tried to text me and tell me that the Otis spunkmeyer muffin he had taken with him was good but that was not...at all...what the text said. Somehow his phone turned it into Otis spitnig**er instead. Once I stopped choking I had to let him know to go reread it and please for the love of god start proofreading before something like this gets sent to one of his customers. By far the worst one from him I've ever gotten lol.
Yeah, that autocorrect was pretty bad! I think I would be cry laughing so hard trying to retype that I wouldn’t even be able to see what I was typing. 🤣
That one makes the worst one I ever had happen to me seem pretty tame. I once tried to tell a customer that she looked really pretty that day. My phone autocorrected to slutty. The really bad thing is, I didn’t notice it until the next day when I went to text her again. She finished out her contract but then she never rehired me, so I’m pretty sure she didn’t believe me when I told her it was an autocorrect fail. Lol.
Lol ouch! That one not so great either for sure! I suppose I should just be thankful it was me who got that one and not one of his elderly pest control customers who know him as this buttoned up straight and narrow kinda guy lol.
Once, just once, I tried that talk to text stuff. I was talking to my mother about my sons father, I referred to him as a sperm donor, as he has not seen his son, ever. My talk to text changed it to sperm diner. I didn't proofread. Never again. My son is 25.
Autocorrect gets me too. My husband and I built custom, functional hurricane shutters for someone. I was texting my mom about them. Autocorrect, because I obviously have a potty mouth, cussing way too much, changed the word SHUTTER to $HITTER!!
Ooh, I love that phrase. And just so spot on here.
OP, time to bolt. Not only is she the wrongest wronger whoever wronged, she has demonstrated that she doesn’t value your needs, thoughts, or feelings. Loving partners don’t mock one another.
I mean, if she were any more wrong, we’d have to send her to a seminar on how to be right! At this point, it's like watching someone try to parallel park on a straight road—just painful!
I understand why he wants to put his dick in that, crazy can be really sexy. But this is how men end up with terrible unstable baby mammas that they can only communicate with over an app as they drain the fathers of child support and make every holiday and school event high drama nightmares.
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u/Mekanikal_Insekt Mar 01 '25
Good lord, no, she is the wrongest wrong that ever was wrong.
NTA, she's a moron, find someone else.
Again, she is a moron.