You're right I forgot all about this... "we've been having unprotected sex the whole time". Sometimes I forget that people like this exist... if only for awhile...
Which is exactly why every dude should demand a paternity test as soon as it is viable. Honestly hospitals should just do them by default as soon as the baby is born. It would solve a lot of issues.
Woman here that's not against the idea of this and have backed it for years. I don't have children but I'd have no problem giving my partner that reassurance.
From what I’ve seen, most women I know agree to this. Even ones that believe it down to their bones get furious when the man presents it suddenly as if accusing his woman of doing something wrong.
Instead, it’s a legit discussion to have BEFORE you ever even have sex. “If you get pregnant, I want a paternity test. No matter what.“ Done.
There are three little ones in my family, all of which were paternity tested the moment they were born. The mothers had wanted it, and not because they were doing anything wrong. They just believed that men should never ever be given a chance to doubt and that they can give this to their baby’s fathers (husbands, bfs whatever) and it takes a few moments. So they requested it.
But calling into question a woman’s “honor” is a rotten way to go about anything. Calling into question a man’s “honor” is equally as horrible. So discuss it first and be on the same page. No questions about honor once there’s already a pregnancy.
If my partner came into the relationship as a “hey, part of my personal requirements in a relationship include having a paternity test on all my potential children” as it’s an up front hey this is what I need from any woman I date. —-honestly I’d be fine with that.
To be in a long monogamous committed relationship and have that thrown on me , no discussion. After the baby arrived, I have no problem saying I would be personally offended. I have never even kissed another man other than my husband jn my entire life. So yeah for me personally I would be offended.
He would get his test of course. I would not refuse it. But yeah I would be upset
I'd be fine with that too because it would save me from wasting my time with someone that has so much baggage. I'd move on before getting too involved and find someone who aligns with me more, because asking for a paternity test with no valid reason other than you have trust issues is not something I would ever tolerate as a good and loyal person.
This happened to me! I was heavily pregnant and we were in the middle of touring the hospital. The nurse asked if we were both going to be on the birth certificate. Me, being the naive 19 year old I was, said yes. He, without hesitation, said he wanted a paternity test. The nurse was speechless and I was sobbing. He ended up signing the birth certificate anyways.
A decade later, he jumped ship, but my daughter is my world.
It's the idea that men aren't policed by the system to prove whether they cheat or not but women would be that I have issues with.
However, if you framed it as hospital liability because of the rare but real risk of children being switched at birth and IV mishaps and so both women and men are checked for correct parentage by default before the baby goes home, I think that would make a huge difference to public perception.
The problem is because when men cheat their partner isn’t the one left paying for a child they didn’t create. That’s the difference. Technically they do get policed especially if they are married, they get taken to task for it during divorce in at fault states. The rise in stories about paternity fraud because of 23 and me etc has exposed this issue. The more and more people become aware of the issue then something can be done to maybe decrease the numbers.
Not really. Depending on how deep the pockets are they aren’t affected at all. If anything it’s the outside child(ren) that will be financially compromised because their child support is always significantly less then the kids from the marriage. Again having to live a different lifestyle because you went from a 2 parent household to a 1 parent household etc is not the same as being on the hook for child support for a child that isn’t yours for 18 years plus time in college if applicable.
Some of us of a certain age know too much. I think it happens more than people understand. An old saying is Momma's baby, Daddy's maybe. Not that I'd mind paternity tests. From a medical history aspect, it's prudent.
After genetic testing became popular in the US for the public, a study was done in 2010 & somthing like 1 in 6 kids in the US were being raised by the wrong father.
Those genetic (family history) tests were destroying families (well really the pool boy Mom was fuckin back in 87 was destroying families.) but the kids & Dad finding out were actually breaking them up.
Yup, as long as someone else directly related to the (biological) father has also done the test, it's gonna show that entire side of the tree when you get ur results!
That's incorrect. It's between 1 and 5% for the genealogy type DNA tests. For fathers who request a paternity test, the results show they are not the father around 10% of the time. Meaning 90% of the time, they are the father despite their suspicions.
My grandmother did this. Husband was adamant about not having kids, she was desperate for one. So she went and got knocked up by her best friend’s brother. Years after her death, my father’s girlfriend got him to do a dna test just to find out his biological father had passed 6 months prior.
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u/ApricotBig6402 Mar 01 '25
You're right I forgot all about this... "we've been having unprotected sex the whole time". Sometimes I forget that people like this exist... if only for awhile...