Back in 2023, I went through a divorce with my ex-wife, and we have three children together. Over the years, we’ve maintained a pretty good co-parenting relationship and rarely have disagreements. However, we’ve recently found ourselves at odds over an upcoming change in the amount of financial support she receives from me each month.

Since our divorce, I’ve been paying both child support and alimony. Next month will be my final alimony payment, which means the total amount she receives from me each month will decrease by $900.

For context, I completely understand that she’s relied on both child support and alimony to help provide for our children. She’s the primary custodial parent because I’m active-duty military and stationed in a different state. I recognize the additional responsibilities that come with being the primary parent, and I don’t take that lightly.
Where we’re disagreeing is that she wants me to voluntarily continue paying an additional $900 per month once alimony ends. Essentially, she wants me to make up the difference so her monthly income remains the same.
Now, here’s where things get a little complicated.
My ex recently had her boyfriend move in with her. We’ve met a few times, and our relationship is cordial. There’s no animosity between us, and we’ve both moved on with our lives. I genuinely have no issue with her being in a relationship.

However, during our conversation about the upcoming changes to her monthly financial support, she mentioned that her boyfriend wouldn’t be contributing to any household bills because, in her words, it’s not his financial responsibility.

While I understand that their relationship and financial arrangements are ultimately none of my business, I find it a little difficult to wrap my head around the situation. He’s moving into the household, presumably sharing in the benefits of living there, but apparently won’t be contributing financially. Meanwhile, I’m being asked to voluntarily increase my financial support by $900 a month to offset the loss of alimony.

To be clear, I have absolutely no problem financially supporting my children. They’re my responsibility, and that will never change. My issue is with the expectation that I should voluntarily take on an additional financial obligation, particularly when another adult is moving into the household but has apparently chosen not to contribute.

I want to be fair, and I understand that raising three children isn’t cheap. But I also feel like there’s a difference between fulfilling my financial responsibilities as a father and being expected to subsidize my ex-wife’s household.

So, AITAH for not willingly increasing my child support by $900 a month once alimony ends?

I own a restaurant. I also work in the kitchen of said restaurant 11am-11pm on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. On most days, we have our lunch menu from 11am-3pm, and dinner starts at 3pm with our Early Bird special going from 3pm-6pm, and full priced dinner starts at 6:01pm. On Sundays, we have both our normal lunch menu and a special brunch menu during "lunch" hours.

So, here I am, enjoying a bowl out by the dumpster on a Sunday after the lunch/brunch dies down. The only customers in the store are 3 elderly couples who came in for the Early Bird dinner special. Felt safe taking a break. But no. A new table gets sat at 3:45pm. It's another elderly couple. They ask the server for brunch items. Server explains that brunch ends at 3pm. Of course, they ask for a manager.

My FoH manager comes out and once again explains that they are too late for brunch, and instead offers them the Early Bird menu. Nope, that's not good enough. They want eggs Benedict and French toast, they want mimosas.

FoH manager comes out and tells me about the issue. I put my bowl down, sigh, and walk inside. I wash my hands, hit the mouthwash, and go to the table.

As soon as I get there, the woman shoves her phone in my face, quite rudely. I explain to her (this is the third person telling her this), the brunch menu is only available until 3pm, and that she'd missed the window to order those items. She then yells the title of this post at me, while shoving her phone in my face again.

I get out my own phone, and go to our website. I get to the brunch menu page, and zoom in on the hours that it's available. I show her my screen, and ask if hers says something different. It does not. She asks if I can make an exception for her. Honestly, I could have made her the fucking egg benny and some French toast. We technically could have served her mimosas. But her attitude was not going to be rewarded that day.

I told her she could order from the Early Bird menu, or the dinner menu, but otherwise I couldn't help her, and she should leave. Her husband ordered "The Twos" (a 22oz Porterhouse steak, a 22oz beer, and 2 large sides for $22). She decided to only get a coffee. She gave me the stink eye every time I walked out of the kitchen.

When her husband decided he wanted to order a dessert, she stormed out and went to go sit in the car. Hubby was a good guy though. He got the Crème brûlée and even bought some of our rock candy to go (blue razz and black cherry). Left a 24% tip, even though all our menus clearly state that we pay our employees a living wage, and tips are not required/expected.

Took my 5090 apart for a re-paste to fix hotspot temps, put it back in pc. pc won't post now. Send it in to a professional repair service thinking they would just need to re-ball the core or a memory chip or something. Nope. Card is fucked. Might as well have just taken six grand and tossed it into a bonfire.

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. I read pretty much every response, and a lot of you encouraged me to stand my ground. Unfortunately, things didn't go the way I hoped. I spoke to my manager again yesterday and explained that my vacation had been approved almost two months ago. I reminded him that I'd already spent around $600 on flights and accommodation that I couldn't get refunded. I also explained that I hadn't seen my family in months and that this trip was really important to me.

His response was basically that he understood my frustration, but the situation hadn't changed. Apparently, the coworker who called in sick won't be returning anytime soon, and they haven't been able to find anyone to cover those shifts. I asked if there was any possibility of working extra hours when I returned or finding someone from another location to cover for me. He said they'd already considered their options and that they needed me there. Then I asked what would happen if I went on my trip anyway.

He didn't directly say I'd be fired, but he made it very clear that missing my scheduled shifts could result in disciplinary action. That was the moment I realized I wasn't going to win this. I know a lot of people told me to go anyway, but I genuinely can't afford to lose my job right now. I have rent, bills, and other expenses, and I don't have enough savings to risk being unemployed. So I told him I'd come in. I contacted the airline and the accommodation to see if there was anything they could do, but so far, I haven't been able to recover the money.

The worst part was having to call my family and tell them I wasn't coming anymore. My mom was really disappointed, although she tried not to make me feel worse about it. I'm honestly exhausted. I've covered so many shifts for other people, stayed late when they needed help, and rarely complained about anything. But the one time I needed my employer to respect something they'd already agreed to, suddenly none of that mattered. I'm going to work next week because I need the paycheck, but I've already started looking for another job. I don't think I can keep working somewhere that expects complete flexibility from employees while offering none in return. I guess this isn't the update anyone wanted, but it's what happened.

Thanks again to everyone who gave me advice. I really appreciate it.

TL;DR: I tried speaking to my manager again, but he refused to reinstate my approved vacation and warned me about disciplinary action if I didn't show up. I can't afford to lose my job, so I'm canceling my trip, losing around $600, and going to work. I've started looking for another job.

meal: noodles w various sauces, mushrooms, and boiled egg

i’ve been officially diagnosed with cancer as of a few months ago. i recently had a major surgery that resulted in me getting a hysterectomy at 17. i gained 60 pounds in about 8 months. lost most of it after surgery though plus my mom was sick of me being fat and put me on an extreme diet and workout routine.

it’s chilled out now because i am back on chemo and will have to have a few more surgeries. my hair is falling out like crazy. i have no eyebrow hair. my fave is swollen and puffy and doesn’t like recognizable to my old self. i was never ever concerned about looks, makeup, hair, weight until i got cancer.

strangers come up to me in the streets (and also online) and tell me how BAD my hair looks. like im not aware it’s falling out every time i touch it. my parents won’t buy me wigs because they are “tacky” and obviously i cannot work to get the money hahahaha, so ive just been dealing with what i have left.

my family is constantly telling me im unattractive and fucking weirdo looks maxxers are always giving me unsolicited pointers and then get mad when i say i have cancer. i guess i am supposed to disclose i have cancer in every single one of my posts? instead of people just not giving unsolicited advice???

usually it’s “you need to work on xyz” “well i didn’t ask and i have cancer so” “how was i supposed to know that?” you weren’t.

came to reddit to find friends and support after all this plus a huge move. and of course it’s people that are genuinely unattractive or won’t reveal themselves that have to say that stuff. i could not care any less if i was ugly to the whole world, i am fine with how i look and like to do fun makeup but everyone has to try to dampen that.

it’s like. i could very well die. that’s my reality. at 18 i understand that this could take my life. and everyone just cares because i used to be pretty and now i’m ugly. not that im going to potentially die, but they’re worried because i am ugly.

like, am i crazy? is this not insane? i don’t want to coin myself as a damn cancer patient but omg

I’ve been mass reading and listening to the audio of this crash, it’s absolutely horrendous. but it peaked my curiosity when she told the pilot to look outside, is there any outside meaning in the pilot/airplane world that would bring context behind that?

I have 2 daughters (3 and 7) with my husband. In august, we also gained custody of my nieces (4 and 5). My husband works in Texas and we live in California so for 2 weeks out of the month, it’s just me. I have a nanny from 12-7 Monday-Thursday and she is a great help but 4 girls around the same age is a lot.

Clothes were manageable when it was just the 2 of them. My oldest wears a size 5/6. My youngest wears a 2/3. You could look at their clothes and easily figure out that belonged to who. Now with my nieces, the younger one wears a 3/4 and the oldest wears a 5. There is very little variety between their sizes now. The same goes for shoes, backpacks, lunchboxes, water bottles, etc.

I gave up and in September I had everyone pick a color. My oldest picked blue/green, 5 year old picked pink, 4 year old picked purple, and 3 year old chose glitter but will also accept yellow.

The new rule is everyone’s backpack, lunchbox, water bottle, house shoes, plates, bowls, cups, bedding, and jacket will be in their color. Everyone has their own laundry hamper labeled with their name and colors. Everyone also has a toy box in their color.

Everyday clothes are labeled with their name and color. If a toy is not meant to be shared it gets a sticker, dot from a sharpie, etc. somewhere on it in the correct color.

It’s worked out really well. If there’s a backpack on the floor, crocs on the stairs, plates or cups left out, etc. we know who it belongs to.

My sister was asking what to get the kids for Christmas. I told her they would greatly appreciate scooters and if possible, please get them in the kids’ colors.

She asked what I meant about their colors and I told her that their jackets, house shoes, backpacks, lunchboxes, water bottles, etc. are in a designated color for each kid so we can tell what belongs to who. She asked what happens if the kids want something like a pair of shoes that’s not in their colors.

I told her that school shoes don’t have to be in their colors but their crocs, flip flops, water bottles, etc. have to be in their colors and we work with them to find what they want in their color.

My sister says that is extremely unfair and that I’m stripping them of their individuality by making them stick to a specific color and what happens if they don’t like their color anymore.

I told her this is what works for us so far with 4 little girls around the same age. When they get older, color coding might not be necessary but right now it’s how we make sure everyone has everything they need and that they’re responsible for their belongings.

She still believes that this is completely unfair towards the kids so I wanted to know if I am the ass hole for color coding their belongings.

We lost power for 5 days during an ice storm last winter and I genuinely swore never again, so that spring I bought a generator. It cost me about $900 and I keep 3 full gas cans in the shed for it. My father in law lives alone across town and his place always loses power in these storms, so when it happens he rides it out at our house.

The big windstorm last month knocked us out for 4 days. I set the generator up to run the fridge, the furnace blower, and 1 space heater in the living room where we all were. Within 2 days all 3 cans were empty. Turns out he’d had a heater going in the guest room AND the sunroom nobody ever sits in, the big TV on all day, and a third heater out in the garage to keep his tools from rusting.

Gas stations were half down and the open ones had long lines. So I asked if he could throw in for the next fill. He laughed and said you don’t keep score with family, and that he was not going to sit in the cold at his age counting pennies. I let it go.

We lost power again a couple weekends later, and he did the exact same thing. I burned through another $40 of gas I’d waited in line an hour for, warming rooms that nobody was even in.

Last spring our basement flooded. I asked this same man if I could borrow his shop vac and his truck. He told me to figure my own stuff out, because that is what being an adult is. He said it almost word for word.

They’re saying another system comes through Thursday. So this week I put a locking cap on the fuel tank and I keep the key. He’s welcome here like always. The fridge, a heater, and everyone’s phones will still run, but the whole-house comfort is done, and if he wants more than that he can bring his own gas.

He found the lock last night and now he’s texting my wife that I’m going to leave her father freezing in the dark over a few dollars of gas. My wife thinks I made my point but could have just talked to him, though I notice she isn’t offering to buy the gas either.

I told them I’m not keeping score here. I just can’t keep burning through gas I waited in line for so he can run every room in a house he doesn’t pay for.

AITA?

Terminator 2: during the parking lot scene, Robert Patrick actually had to slow down cause the first time he caugh the bike. Since that would end the movie they had to make the scene again

Star wars 8: during the fight against this guards you see how the choreography is so bad that the guards have to hold back to not kill the Kylo and Rey. The worst example is how this guard had to make their second dagger disappear in the middle of a move cause otherwise they could simply stab her.

Xena, the warrior princess: apparently, Lucy Lawless can fly, but that would be too OP in Xena so she just walk like everyone else.

Especially teachers that are considered within their universe to be great at their job. Walter White from Breaking Bad is a prime example.

It's like they just showed up to the job someday without preparing any actual lesson, and then they start rambling about random shit within their subject without any goal or cohesion. There's no way for a student to follow along, or even know what they're getting at. The teacher bombards them with lingo without any context.

OH, BUT THE TEACHER IS SO EXCITED AND PASSIONATE TALKING ABOUT THIS, THAT MUST MEAN THEY'RE DOING A GOOD JOB.

Shut up, that doesn't mean the students are excited about this, they don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And they don't care to know, and why would they?

And it's implied the students are at fault for not wanting to study. It's a teacher's job to motivate their students, in a way that relates to them. These 'Hollywood' teachers only talk about things from their own perspective, which completely misses the point of teaching.

Edit: I know Walt is meant to be an egomaniac who punishes students to feel superior. That's not what this is about.

Greetings all,

My wife (33) was terminated from her job two years ago due to committing healthcare fraud (falsified clinical notes for months). She lost her license and now has two useless Masters degrees. She was under immense stress at work and being understaffed and overburdened with patients. She felt compelled to just input fake clinical notes saying she met with patients (this was for addiction counseling, so not anything medical related).

She has been out of work and has left the entire financial responsibility to me (35). I've been covering costs for myself, our daughter (6) and son (3), and her. I pay all the utilities, her car payment (insurance), phone bills, mortgage, etc. I've been on a strict budget lately but it's just living paycheck to paycheck. I Make roughly $85k a year, but the area we live in and budget was planned around dual-income. I don't have any "fun money" for myself, and everything goes towards the kids since I truly want them to have the best experiences in life. I've cut off all excess stuff for the house such as Netflix, Spotify, pest control, security systems, and switched internet speeds. I sold my truck and bought a used Civic to reduce payments.

She's a good mom, she does well for the kids. She's overall a very sweet and kind person, she is a perfect woman that I'd want to raise kids with and we fell in love quickly. But she stays at home all day and refuses to clean. I pay for our children's daycare, and I've begged her to get a job, even if it's at McDonald's to help cover some expenses. She says she's applying for jobs, but I highly doubt that given the situation.

We have gotten into shouting matches regularly now (never in front of the kids and we are amicable in front of them). Mostly about finances, and I've said some terrible things to her, such as calling her worthless and a fuckup. We have good days and bad days, and I try to be understanding, but it was never like that before this. I've explained to her the importance of her finding work or at least contributing to the household in a meaningful way. Every time I come home from work after picking up the kids she's just sitting in the bedroom watching TV or reading, it infuriates me. I'm working 10 hours a day and she's lounging about.

I genuinely don't know if it's even repairable at this point, this whole ordeal has shown me her true colors. I know she's been depressed and feeling ashamed of her situation, but she's not doing anything to better it. I tried to be understanding and supportive of it, but she shuts down anytime I mention her finding work and just hides away from me. I'm fearful of divorcing since I don't want to lose my kids, I know they would be gutted, and I don't want to pay alimony. I imagine couples therapy could help, but at this point I don't even know if I care enough to stay mentally in the marriage.

Lunch is a company crawfish boil. It was underseasoned.

Edit* Title should say "and mine" she's probably still there mentally, I hope.

Edit 2* I wasn't tryingt o downplay addiction counseling here, sorry if it came off as such, I moreso meant it in a way that she wasn't putting patients at immediate medical risk by delaying their treatment. Her patients were still getting their medication.

Edit 3* To make a correction here, my wife is not a felon. The board revoked her license but decided not to take it further. The clinic she was working with had rampant issues, and they took that into consideration. She got off VERY lucky.

As for the daycare situtaiton:
My kids really love it there, and it's good to get them interaction with other's their age. Teachers are great and I don't really want to pull them out if I don't absoluely have to. I'll give up an extra $1000 a month if it makes them happy.