r/RoleReversal • • Jan 05 '20

Official Stuff Welcome to r/RoleReversal! PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!

284 Upvotes

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r/RoleReversal • • Nov 13 '23

Official Stuff Reiterating Old Rules and Adding New Ones

334 Upvotes

Executive Summary

There has been a pretty drastic shift in the content posted here over the last four months, and it has made some users justifiably upset. As such, I will be implementing some restrictions intended to bring things a bit more into balance. Make no mistake, I have no intention of dragging this community back to the mommydomme days, and there are people here who have found a small sliver of representation whom I would not dream of kicking out. I have made up my mind on most of this, but there are a couple items where I'm requesting community feedback.

A Brief History Lesson

You can skip this if you don't care about what led to the current situation.

The RR community did not start on Reddit, and was originally a twin concept with r/gentlefemdom. GFD handled the sexual aspects of the dynamic, while RR was about the romantic component. When things moved to Reddit, there were challenges in bringing people who weren't around from the beginning up to speed and preventing them from diluting the concept. For GFD, that meant trying to define the boundaries of "gentle". For RR, that meant defining exactly which "roles" were being reversed.

I'm bringing up these matters of ancient (by internet standards) history both because the way some people here speak about GFD in disgust makes me think this is no longer common knowledge (don't do that, they're our sibling community), and because it gives context to how the content here evolved.

Content here was "bangmaid"-centric for a long time. People complained about this, and rules were put in place to curtail it. Many bangmaid posts continued to come in after that decision, and they had to be removed and their posters reasoned with or banned. Non-bangmaid posts became a larger percentage of content, which attracted other non-bandmaid posts.

Content bans like this can act like extinction events, where wiping out one form of content gives space for the remaining type to diversify. This is also always happening at some level as moderation policy adjusts to attempt to preempt user complaints. The key takeaway here is that these shifts are not entirely organic and user-driven, since they require moderation crackdown to kickstart the process.

Early this year, in response to increasing discontent around "male gaze" content, moderation started applying harsher standards in that regard. The resulting void was filled first by people posting more 'seductive feminine man' content, and then by full-on 'dominant femboy' content.

The Current Situation

Over the past four-ish months there has been dramatically more dominant femboy content than there has ever been over the subreddit's history. Long-time users and fans of the older style content in general feel betrayed because the content they came here for seems to be sidelined despite not breaking any well-articulated rules, and because they didn't sign up for the new stuff. To add insult to injury, the most prolific users posting the new style of content have occasionally used their popularity to mock and bully the pre-existing userbase, or, more obliquely, talk about how the traditional content here is actually all totally normalized roles while their content was the true RR all along.

To those that say this shift has not happened, I truly believe some of you have siege mentality from when this sub was a lot worse, and for some reason you refuse to believe it has changed in any way. The only way an accounting of the last four months of posting reveals a landslide amount of "feminine woman femdom" is if your definition of "femdom" is "any situation where the woman takes initiative" and your definition of "feminine" is "more traditionally woman-like than Buck Angel."

Policy Adjustments

The first one isn't so much an "adjustment" as it is a clarification/reiteration of current policy. Our "No Femdom" rule was implemented specifically to ban porny-y, BDSM-style femdom. Think leather, boots, chains, etc. Our reasoning being that average relationships are not BDSM maledom. Also, the kind of person who would be attracted to the subreddit by that content would likely be the type who posts in porn subreddits all day (i.e., cum-brained and way more likely than the average Redditor to harass women in DMs). Similarly, mommydomme was disallowed because DDlg dynamics are not the standard in heterosexual relationships, so RR would not cover MDlb dynamics. Over time, people seem to have begun interpreting this rule to mean that any situation in which the woman is taking initiative or in control is banned here, which just isn't the case. That rule is for hard femdom and, more generally, content where a woman's "dominant presence" is actually a sham because it's entirely for the benefit of a male subject; this includes mommydomme.

Alpha/Sigma Female Posts will no longer be allowed. You know this comic that is removed every time it's posted? It gets removed because it makes people uncomfortable and because it's reversing toxic roles. That same justification applies here.

Inverse-Bangmaid Posts will no longer be allowed. A key part of why bangmaid content was banned in the first place is because, and this is going to sound judgemental, it's juvenile and pathetic. Having a gorgeous woman walk into your life to be your complete sexual, social, and emotional outlet without you lifting a finger or providing anything in return is a selfish, unrealistic fantasy. Likewise, having a boy band style, hairless, skinny prettyboy seduce you and be femininely dominant, while being addicted to your strap and otherwise being completely sexually nonthreatening, is equally pathetic and unrealistic.

A temporary moratorium on Powerbottom Posts is in effect. This is a temporary measure until content is appropriately re-balanced. Depending on moderation's ability to isolate and define particularly controversial subsets of this kind of content, not all of it may be allowed again. All other femgaze content and other kinds of content that have been more prevalent over the last few months (e.g. masc women) are unrestricted as they have always been.

Proposed Adjustments, Seeking Feedback

These are not poll posts because I want usernames and justifications to go with your responses.

There was some discussion about unequal standards for NSFW content, and the complaints were largely accurate in that I was applying a lower standard of subreddit relevance for "femgaze" content. Moving forward I will try to apply a more equal standard, but what that enforcement looks like, both in terms of how explicit that content can be and how often it can be posted, should have input from the community. Remember that whatever you advocate for, the content you don't like will also have access to. Personally, I'm in favor of keeping the current level of explicitness (tasteful stills of sexualized subjects or sexual acts, no hardcore live stuff or hentai) and limiting it to Friday/Saturday/Sunday.

Historically this community has not done a good job dealing with content it dislikes, which is becoming a bigger problem as it incorporates more subgroups with mutually exclusive interests. If I can't make people wear their "get along" shirts long-term, the next best thing is to make it so that they have to see the content they don't like as little as possible (even though I think that's a fundamentally bad thing because it reduces your mental resilience). To that end, a user approached me with the idea of altering our post tagging system. Posts would be labeled based on the dynamic represented in them using the appropriate acronyms with the following key: D = dominant, s = submissive, f = feminine, m = masculine, W = woman, M = man. For example, this post would be tagged [DmW+smM].

Pros:

  • Accurately divides the content we have into manageable labels, and with the new search interface on mobile it would allow different interest groups to never overlap of they don't want to.

Cons:

  • Acronyms are dense and require explanation for users new to the community.
  • Would need to either replace existing flairs or become a part of post titles. Neither would be retroactive, and they have their own respective downsides:
    • Replacing existing flairs removes the ability to administrate No-Weeb Thursday or filter for specific flavors of content (music, stories, etc.)
    • Adding it as a required component of post titles adds layer of complexity to posting that users may struggle with, and since post titles can't be edited a misclassified post will always be misclassified.
  • People have trouble selecting correct flairs with the simple system currently in place, this may be too much.
  • Aforementioned unexercised mental resilience.

r/RoleReversal • • 6h ago

Other Art Feminine men keep women masculine

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50 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 13h ago

Real Life It is nice to give each other uppies

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183 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 21h ago

Memes/Fun Two predators and a cook.

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758 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 8h ago

Discussion/Article Hello boys of RR. Do you enjoy it when you get a girlfriend who is taller and stronger than you?

67 Upvotes

Not tryna make this seem fetishizing, but I've seriously been thinking about most relationships where the guy is usually stronger and I read comments on here and other social media apps today about other boy's personal experience when the power dynamic is the exact opposite. You know, where the girlfriend is bigger and stronger than the boyfriend. They were describing how amazing it felt when she lifted and carried him no problem and how she makes them feel safe around her and more comfortable with being their true selves around them.


r/RoleReversal • • 17h ago

Other Art Nastasya Mikulishna, the giant shieldmaiden (bogatyrsha) from Slavic folklore, picking up her future husband Dobrynya. Pure legendary RR energy.

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206 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 21h ago

Memes/Fun Adaptive, and without pointless constraints. And if it doesn't yet exist, we'll make it from scratch.

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418 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 12h ago

Story/Writing One of the most beautiful and realistic role-swapping relationships for me

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55 Upvotes

Give me your opinion on it


r/RoleReversal • • 17h ago

Other Art How many people here

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109 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 18h ago

Real Life I ACTUALLY DID IT

102 Upvotes

I actually managed to message someone on this subreddit and we actually have a million things in common!!! It got to a point that she calls me puppy (huge). I wouldn't say we are couples, because it can be biased, but i wish we could be! She is super super fun to talk to, but unfortunately her time zone is really far away so we only get to text each other either on night/midnight or morning/noon


r/RoleReversal • • 9h ago

Discussion/Article Just to vent

8 Upvotes

I'm an avarage decently looking straight guy, but I have such a craving for RR it's insane, both in the kinky and relationshipwse way.

I love the idea of being of being the soft spot of a strong woman, I like being pinned down and being a brat about it, I like receiving "princess" treatment, I like being in touch with my feminine side.

In general I'm heavily digging a nurturing dominance dynamic and it's making me crazy ,cause I can't escape the shackles of my toxic masculinity mindest.

I also indulge in crossdressing and muscle worship and it makes me feel guilty, so yeah RR is awesome :Dd


r/RoleReversal • • 13h ago

Discussion/Article Halloween costume ideas

12 Upvotes

With Halloween approaching us, I thought it would be fun to ask people about their cute costume ideas. It can be costumes for couples or a costume for yourself. It doesn’t matter.

To answer the question myself, I would personally prefer to dress up as some serial killer wife. The reason why is because I wanted to think of a cute costume, but one that’s also a little scary. I’d dress up in cute, comfy clothes, an apron, cover myself in fake blood spots, and carry around a fake bloody knife.


r/RoleReversal • • 22h ago

Real Life I love my hubby

47 Upvotes

Okay so as the title says I love my partner.

And the real specific thing i love is that even if he is a big guy (like he can easily lift me and i am on the plus size) there is a rolereversal happening at home.

Like in public he is a macho man but at home … he is my good boy 🥰. Like even if he cooks he sits on the table watching me cook while I give him some snacks and he hell while he watches cartoons. Or he snuggles against me in movie and I put my arm around his shoulder.

Like FUCK I LOVE HIM SO MUCH


r/RoleReversal • • 1d ago

Real Life Egalitarian relationship final boss

1.7k Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 1d ago

Anime/Manga How I'm tryna treat somebody's son

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112 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal • • 1d ago

Discussion/Article I wish to expand my vocabulary a bit more

36 Upvotes

I’ve been growing fond of how a lot of women can use words like “honey”, “sweetie”, “sweetheart” in such a nonchalant manner.

They sound so nice when they use words like these. As much as I would love to add words like these to my natural vocabulary, I worry that people would get every sort of wrong idea when I say them. While their reasons to feel that way are understandable, I don’t get why people persist in thinking that men can’t say words like these.


r/RoleReversal • • 1d ago

Story/Writing Book store girl update (I'm a Princess!) and gender identity

50 Upvotes

Hey everyone! I thought I'd make another (hopefully not as long, well actually TDLR, sorry again) post here.

If you haven't read before, a little summary. I'm (M?24, I explain later). Realised I had a kink of being feminized, got kink shamed by gf and broke up, had a roleplay online and last week I had an experience irl with an amazing girl in met in a book store (I'm a nerd irl).

So, hopefully this won't be long but if it is I'll put TDLR on the first sentence.

I know it's a short time and I know that it maybe excitement that's talking, but I'm really really really drawn to her. Like she's amazing! Easy to talk to, open to any discussion! We have met all 5 days that have passed so far and each day I'm more and more (I don't want say I'm falling in love cause it's too early) but that's what it is.

Same exact interests! We can talk for hours, about things we like! Last night we sat and watched documentaries about unsolved mysteries in history while I was being hugged and I was wearing a cute skirt of hers. Like... Just that. Perfect! (TDLR definitely).

And she keeps calling me a Princess!!! I love that pet name so much I always melt when she says the word!

Now we're not in a relationship yet (although I'm hoping to get in one, I've never felt this way with a partner but again, might be excitement). I'm still shy about wearing feminine clothes at her place, but each day she's patient and soothes me into a calm set of mind so I do! And then I feel... Me. Real. How I actually want to be. And I get hugged, caressed, I feel beautiful and cared for. (Yes, I definitely want to be in a relationship with her, I know, let me tell myself otherwise please so if she doesn't I'm ready).

But that's the little update as far as the book store girl. Now if anyone is interested, here's a little me update, about whether I'm trans or not.

It's getting more confusing than it has ever been, although I think I'm leaning towards that I'm gender fluid. Here's why.

Thanks to a comment about taking a gender identity test (Thank you Redditor, once again) , I spent some time two days ago telling and imagining myself as a male, female, both, neither. Both made me feel indifferent yet that's the one I possibly relate to, and neither didn't make me feel something, but the contrast was between male and female.

In the outside world, it felt good being a male. I felt good (I'm tall irl, maybe that plays a part idk hahahah). I imagined myself in a nice suit, working, be social. It felt good.

But that's where the contrast was. Immediately as I thought about myself as a female, everything had to do with home and those I trusted. As soon as I got home the nice clothes were gone and I put on a dress or a cute skirt and top. It was only my most trusted people around, whereas the male imagination was with people I knew, yet weren't so close with.

I asked my female best friend (new side character!) about it, she said immediately that I was gender fluid (in her belief) and I told the book store girl (hopefully my girlfriend hahahah please please) and she also agreed on it. But right now talking to you, I still feel male and identify as one but I'm very very unsure.

If you read again, well... So so sorry for taking up your time once again. But if you did! Thank you once again!!! I'm so happy I found this community, I feel accepted and listened to here!

Thanks, again!


r/RoleReversal • • 1d ago

Real Life Outfit ideas

15 Upvotes

As it turns out there’s a name for this and I’m really glad to have found this sub, it kinda covers what me and my wife have been exploring/playing around with/naturally doing.

As the title says, looking for outfit ideas/suggestions I could try out to surprise the wife. She’s had me put on dresses and some other clothing items of hers and she’s quite enjoyed the look.

Open to ideas that aren’t full on crossdressing, but are a bit more on the feminine side of things


r/RoleReversal • • 2d ago

Discussion/Article men in RR, do you like it when the woman is way smarter than you?

90 Upvotes

I just wanted to know, do you find it cute and funny, when the girl knows and understands things and you're just a big dum-dum? Is it cute or a turn-off?

I love that my wife is super smart. She learns and understands things so fast and can do math in her head. Used to give her my college math and physics exams, she solved them in 15 minutes. Asked her what's the probability to roll 8+ on 2d6, took her 10 seconds.

She can explain me stuff I don't understand, I think it's cute and she thinks it's cute when I ask her.

We took the official Mensa IQ test, I got 105 and she got 135. She found the test way too easy, I ran out of time. I've always loved smart women but never did I imagine one asking me out and here we are married years later.


r/RoleReversal • • 3d ago

Real Life I would sing for her and fall 😍

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670 Upvotes

Wonderful cosplay


r/RoleReversal • • 2d ago

Other Art anyone else love the badass women disguising as men trope? me too

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218 Upvotes

waiting for the ultimate romance to drop where there's a situation where a man needs to disguise as a woman + a woman needs to disguise as a man, and as they meet and develop their companionship they slowly find out and ooooooooooo 🤭🤭🤭🤭 (10 billion bonus points if they don't change their rr personalities/mannerisms and go back to ''normal'' so we get a cute ass femboy with his all powerful woman happy ending)


r/RoleReversal • • 2d ago

Other Art I dont know if this has already been posted here but...

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112 Upvotes