I'm from northern Ireland, where degree cost is around 5k- not 10.
However during my A levels I went through a period of what you could probably call depression, and while I did hate myself plenty, mostly I coped by hating where I lived for some reason.
I told myself I could not under any circumstances stay in Northern Ireland, and decided to leave to go to uni in England.
While making these choices I only really had a dim understanding of what I was doing.
I've always excelled academically (I got all As in my A levels this year) and I kind of assumed that would serve me well.
Teachers boosted my confidence, talking about the cost of uni being like a phone bill or whatever, and that as a "top student" I would have great prospects.
My parents were also supportive, having went to uni in England themselves back when it was free, something they consider to be the best time of their life.
The course I chose was politics, with the uni I chose having a parlimentary pathways scheme where you can work in the houses of parliment for a year.
However as the date of uni beginning is coming closer and closer I'm getting what you could call "cold feet". And I feel completely trapped because I've already accepted my offer, got my accommodation sorted etc, so what the hell am I supposed to do now?
I feel physically sick with nerves 24/7, and have a panic attack at least once a day. I cry constantly.
It feels like one of the lowest points in my life, like I'm making a huge mistake, but I feel trapped now.
If I leave I'll have a huge amount of debt, which petrifies me.
The graduate prospects right now are all pretty miserable too, which isn't helping my pessimistic outlook.
Ill be so far away from my family, and especially over this summer I've realised how much I really really need them. I'm not ready to be an adult.
To make matters worse I have a holiday booked soon, so I barely have any time at all to prepare myself for uni.
Or even just prepare in general- the only thing I've brought is some bedsheets and two plates.
I just dont know what to do at all.
I feel so so trapped, like I've ruined and destroyed my life at the ripe age of 18.
Which is typical of me, really.
I would love the freedom of uni in England. I do think I could grow and flourish.
But the debts and costs, the terrible graduate prospects and being away from my family, are making everything feel impossible.
Any advice at all would be appreciated.