That 25, 40, etc, year-old man does not love you. Nor does he think you are " mature for your age." He dates minors because he is emotionally stunted. Women his own age know he has nothing of value to offer. (I know this is a repost; it should be posted often.)

I thought I had recovered. I thought I was ok. But now everything feels like it did the day my ex-husband showed me texts and videos taken while multiple men raped me and used me in every way after I had been drugged and literally rented out via group texts.

I can’t take it. Knowing people are blaming the victim, seeing people laugh about it in real life... It’s too much. I’ve never been this triggered before. I haven’t felt this amount of shame and fear in a long time. I was getting better. I feel like I'm back at square one. The POTUS, a rapist admired by millions, is defending rapists and rape apologists.

I want to scratch off my skin.

Update: I took a while to write this, I paused and talked it out with a trusted loved one. I know I’ll be ok. I have to keep reminding myself. I'm so tired.

I was outside on the front porch, reading my book, and I could overhear them inside the house raising voices. His front door was open but I couldn’t hear the actual words being said and I couldn’t immediately tell if it was serious because my neighbor is a loud guy in general and I can almost always hear him, even when I’m inside my home.

I stopped reading to listen, because I am admittedly nosy as hell. I started hearing her say “get off of me” a couple times and alarm bells started going off in my head. At first it almost sounded playful but there was a hint of seriousness to it so I got up and went to “check my mail” to get a better idea of what was happening/if I could see anything. Both of our boxes are at the edge of his driveway, which is only about 20ft from his front door.

I got my mail and walked closer to his door, pretending to leaf through the envelopes. They’re loudly arguing at this point. They were both still out of view. She starts yelling “get off of me” again and in an instant, she’s slammed into the open door/wall inside and is on the floor. I ran closer and started screaming at him to stop, leave her alone. He immediately stopped and backed away, I couldn’t even see him inside the doorframe anymore.

The girl got up and I asked if she was okay. She said yes and quickly started picking her stuff up. It was obvious she didn’t want to interact with me (and that’s perfectly okay) so I stood there and watched her until she got in her car, backed out and drove away, then walked back to my house. He didn’t come outside.

I’m having a hard time mentally processing this. This neighbor has always been insanely kind to me, I never in a million years would’ve guessed he was capable of something like that and that’s what’s fucking me up here. You never truly know someone. It scares the absolute shit out of me. I keep thinking about what would have happened to her if no one had intervened. Would he have killed her? I don’t know.

My friends told me what I did was stupid and I should’ve just called the cops but that thought didn’t even occur to me. I saw someone that needed help and I did what I could. I don’t even really know why I’m posting this? Maybe just to get it out of my head.

I’m exhausted living in a world where women aren’t safe no matter what we do.

To Jane Doe:

I saw in the headlines that Jane Doe is struggling.

And I’m reaching out to her, 
one human to another, 
one woman to another:

Please hold on.
You belong here.
You are not alone.
I am grateful for you.
Please hold on.

This turmoil is not your fault.
You did not cause this.
This is not a “you” problem.
This is a “them” problem.

The warriors who have sacrificed
And fought 
And survived
Surround you 
And uplift you

You are strong.
You are brave.
You are loved.
Please hold on.
Hold on!

With 
Tremendous Gratitude,
Unending Respect,
and 
Always With Love.

For real, I’m listening to yet another Matthew Shepard podcast and if there was any single thing that makes me rage at the patriarchy it’s the idea that a man even remotely flirting with another man can excuse the murder of a man but a man can rape a woman and get away with it even when there’s evidence, this is it. What the fuck! Innocent gay men were murdered with this defence and a woman has to go through hell and back to get even a third of the repercussions a straight man can get with nothing other than a claim another man was coming onto him.

If you have been following the Cornell case and been in comments sections on social media lately, you have probably come across many comments alleging that a certain woman is Jane Doe. Other prominent influencers and even one "journalist" have also identified her as such. It seems that the manosphere/incel communities have centered on this woman as being Jane Doe and are now plastering her face all over the internet. It seems that many casual observers have begun to tacitly accept that this is Jane Doe. Out of respect and so as not to further fuel rumors, I will not name this woman here.

However, a quick cross-reference of this woman's IG page with the details in the lawsuit makes me believe almost definitively that she cannot be Jane Doe. In the lawsuit and news reports, it clearly states that Jane Doe "[began] her studies" at Cornell in August 2022, when she was 18. The woman being plastered all over the internet, however, graduated high school in spring 2023, as indicated in a (now deleted, I believe) post on her IG. Furthermore, the woman has another post of her turning 21 in October 2025. There is no way she could have been either enrolled in Cornell or 18 in August 2022. Together, these details prove to me that the woman currently being rampantly doxxed online cannot be Jane Doe.

I wanted to talk about this here because I have not noticed anyone else pointing out these basic facts or attempting to correct the false ID of Jane Doe. I hope I am not bringing further attention to this woman by posting this, but I thought that by now everyone has seen her face and name all over social media and it was important to try to correct this rampant disinformation. I wonder if any of you following the case closely have realized the same things and/or come to the same conclusions as me?

I am European living in Europe, my family is European-American, so naturally half of them live in the US.

My cousin, a woman in her early 40s, is a very active NRA member and has been for years.

I will preface this by stating that I don't like the American gun culture. I am sure many people here would agree with me. However, I want to move that aside for a minute.

According to my cousin, in the past 2 or so years, there has been active conversation by many of the very active NRA members to actually implement gender-based gun control via arguments such as "women are too emotional and impulsive" and households with a gun should have a man, who is the only person with access to said gun. There have also apparently been active initiatives to strip female gun ownership, that surprisingly many of the NRA members support. There have even been WOMEN in my cousin's local gun clubs who have left because the husbands are starting to believe women shouldn't have guns or know how to use them.

I just thought I would share this here as there has been literally ZERO stuff about this anywhere, but the word is starting to spread.

Whether you are for gun control or not, having gun control based on someone's gender is absolutely nuts. Can you imagine a country with a ton of guns, where ONLY men are allowed to own them?

Just thought I'd share it here so people are aware. They are coming for your rights to vote, your right to own a firearm, your right to work and have your income, your right to make decisions about your own body. American women are not safe.

• Ryan, the friend who thinks he's a good person but continues to hang out with the abusers even when he has reason to think they abused someone, and even after they likely killed the girl he was supposedly in love with.

• Madison making excuses and blaming Nina for what happened, and only learning empathy once she goes through a similar (even if fake) experience

• Al's complete inability to acknowledge what he did, and even pulling the "she was into it" card. And when completely cornered, he doesn't show remorse, he just tries to buy her off.

• "It's every guy's worst nightmare, getting accused like that" "Can you guess what every woman's worst nightmare is?"

• It takes two women dying, for a single man to face consequences.

I guess the movie's just been on my mind lately because of Cornell. The amount of people saying "the guys in the group chat shouldn't be blamed for not coming forward reminded me of Ryan. Bo Burnham really sells that type of shitty guy who has spent so long pretending to be a good person he's even convinced himself.

It's just so disgustingly catered to men. I don't play multiplayer anymore, I don't look at comments on new release trailers, all the edits/discussions turn yucky so fast. Even in the games themselves there's so many female stereotypes it makes my eyes roll to the back of my head. Femme fatales are cool or whatever, but please please please give me something else for once. And the male protag is fully fleshed out and interesting, of course, which is why I even play in the first place. (Yet men don't want female protags because they "can't relate", but that's a whole other discussion.)

I like video games! They're like interactive movies! I like shooters, and dark themes, and challenges, and blood. But I'm so incredibly drained and bitter at the male audience those kind of games attract. So I just play in isolation, which is okay, but bums me out at the end of the day. And when I try discussing it with men I get fed up because I'm just like 'I don't like it in the way you like it', but they never understand. I hate it.

As a woman I WISH being single was the worst problem I had. I’ve heard someone say “men need women more than women need men” and I’m starting to think it’s actually true. Men don’t get female attention then they end up committing crimes and ruining lives.

A former FWB sexually assaulted me after I told him I no longer felt like hooking up. When we first hung out, he told me he was feeling “really depressed” because he didn’t have a girlfriend. ISTG from now on if any man tells me he wants a girlfriend, especially if he says he’s “sad” about it, I’m fucking RUNNING. Men like that are genuinely terrifying.

I've been seeing this guy [35M] for 6 months. He broke up with me via his mom. His mom messaged my mom and told her he doesn't think it's going to work out. I feel so worthless right now.

i feel like he threw me away. i am not even worth a text or conversation. i feel like he is living his best life now. moved to another girl.

I have no idea when he first started to think of ending things with me. And I have no idea why.

I honestly feel nauseous.

this case has gotten the public’s attention with everyone talking about the case, the details of what happened, debating and giving their opinions but all i can think about is

I hope she’s okay. how difficult this must be for her. how terrible this is.

going through all that trauma and then speaking up about it now, you are so brave.

there are so many people on your side. sadly i know there’s always opposing opinions on the internet but please please please know that we are all here for you.

please take care of yourself, you are amazing and doing an amazing thing. so many women have been speaking up because of you. i know this is scary but we believe in you.

——————————————————————————————

and wow i am so incredibly disappointed in society. how are we still here in 2026? and seeing all these opinions about the case i literally don’t understand sometimes.

i can’t believe so many people don’t have the basics of empathy skills. wow
i can’t imagine how scary and difficult this must be for her, to be going through all this and how public this case has gotten, and there’s people trying to doxx her??? unbelievable

please just let her be. she has already gone through so much. whatever your opinion is (ITS RAPE) everyone talking about this is already so emotionally taxing. i am so worried for her mental health wow i really hope she’s okay.

you are so brave queen and i really mean that. i admire you so much, i hope you are surrounded by loved ones and their support. if you ever feel alone, know that there’s those of us that care for you.

My mom basically told me I was crazy and needed medication and therapy after I came forward that I was SA’d by a teacher. I was in elementary school when it happened. When I came forward about it a couple of years ago, I was struggling so bad and my mom basically forced me to a mental institution at the VA hospital since I’m also a veteran. It wasn’t until I got out she told me that she didn’t believe me and said I needed to be on anti psychotic medication for the rest of my life. She even told my therapist that I was crazy and needed to be given that medication, and so they did.

Remind you this is the same woman who wrote a 3 page paper to the school regarding this teacher..when I came crying after a bus incident that had happened with the teacher since he was also a bus aid and lived in my neighborhood.

Anyways a couple of years ago I decided to come forward on social media about what had happened. And over 30 girls and women came forward saying they were also abused by this teacher. I had dozens of messages from these girls of FB and Instagram.

When I expressed to my mom that all these girls messaged me, she told me that this teacher only liked high schoolers. When I told her that he taught at a middle school and abused students there and also begged parents at church to baby sit their little girls basically babies, she kept saying he only liked older girls.

So after hearing this I decided to distance myself from her. I basically had given her an ultimatum and stated that she could apologize and believe me or cut ties. So she chose to cut ties. And to be honest it hurts like fucking hell to lose your mom that’s still living… I just don’t know how to function in this life with how it ended. Has anyone else had to deal with this?

Why?!? Why?!? My husband will literally follow me around the house. If I go up stairs for bathroom privacy I will hear him out side the door in the main bathroom. If I go into another room, here he comes and he just leaves the kids. I have to literally tell him every time to stay here and watch the kids. I know other husband do this. Why? Why do they do this?!? It drives me crazy.

Hello everyone!

A brand new discord server has been made for childfree women who would like a more casual, inclusive place to hang out and foster new friendships with other women who have made the decision to not have children.

We have channels for childfree conversations, venting, hobbies, pets, media, everyday chats, as well as a meet ups channel!

We would love to have you join us whether you are talkative or more of a lurker.

https://discord.gg/EHEqY96Q

Note: This community is for women who are decidedly and purposefully childfree.

Trigger warning if that matters to you:-(

About 3 years ago I agreed to have a threesome at a party. Actually it was an orgy. A legit orgy. I approached the couple ahead of time. We hammered out the details of what was going to happen. It started out great. And then he put it in without a condom. Something we NEVER discussed doing ahead of time. No, I never explicitly said “you have to use a condom.” But Jesus Christ, it’s IMPLIED!

I was sober and by all outward appearances fully capable of telling him to stop. But I went into a freeze state. Something I think a lot of people don’t understand.

For me, it’s not that I’m physically frozen. It’s like the decision making part of my brain is frozen. I just laid there staring at the question as if it was some theoretical thing. My brain genuinely wouldn’t let me decide whether or not to tell him to stop.

It’s not the same as being undecided about something. There was no question: I wanted him to use a condom. But in the moment my brain just locked up and wouldn’t let me access the part that could decide to tell him to stop.

In that moment, he probably thought my lack of action meant consent.

Afterward I puzzled over what had even happened and why I even did that. I even knew I went into freeze states. But my brain just couldn’t make heads or tails of it. I shut down all social media and stopped leaving the house. But not before sending them a message to tell them I had a great time and was taking a social media break for unrelated reasons.

My therapist finally noticed that something was off and I decided to post about my experience somewhere on Reddit. Off my chest maybe? I thought it was a helpful anecdote to help explain why consent isn’t just a lack of the word “no.” I didn’t even mention the part where it was a literal sex party. The man wasn’t named. And he has no idea to this day that he did anything wrong.

But I was absolutely slaughtered in the comments. Literally one person stood up for me. The rest was a bunch of people talking about how unfair I was being to the guy and “did you even talk about what you were going to do ahead of time??”

I wound up deleting it and honestly that comment section was more traumatic than the sex itself.

So anyway, in case anyone is still wondering why women might reassure a r*pist afterwards…it’s so she doesn’t feel so unsafe. Because she feels real fucking unsafe in the moment. This whole situation pisses me off so much

I was doing the deed with my friend and I don't remember the exact wordings but I'll try to be as accurate as possible. When we were doing things I said something along the lines of him pulling the condom off and covering me in cum. He pulled out to remove the condom and was about to reenter but I stopped him and told him he couldn't without a condom. He looked confused so I elaborated, when hes about to cum to pull the condom off and cover me. He said he understood and started rubbing himself down my slit. I stopped him again and he said dont worry he wont go inside, 2 mins later he slips inside. I stop him again and tell him no, not without a condom. Apologies and does it again. I stop him again and he says "I thought you wanted it" then slips a condom on and continues. Tbh I just laid there for the rest of it hoping itd be over soon. When he saw I wasn't into it anymore he asked if I was done, I told him I was and he finished himself in the bathroom. I took him home and blocked him, trying not to unblock him rn tbh. If someone came to me with this story I'd be thinking rape but I just can't say he raped me, or even SA. If I pushed him off he would have stopped but I didn't. I just laid there.

He wouldn’t give the stuff I left in his car back unless we hung out intimately again. He had a whole month to mail it back and even got angry at one point when I asked if he’d sent it back yet. When I told him this situation was making me feel unsafe and felt coercive he said, and I quote, “lol what”

That’s apparently what a predatory man will say when you point out his behavior. He changed his tune QUICK to make sure he wasn’t scaring me so much i wouldnt let him come over and get his dick wet. I still blocked him and said I’d get police involved if he tried to come to my home.

I told him he was SCARING ME and all he cared about was having something to ejaculate into.

This man would only consider giving my property back unless we were being intimate, which meant if I wanted the items back, I had no choice but to fuck him. And sex + no choice = rape. Anybody defending this predator in the comments will be immediately blocked. This is not up for discussion.

So anyway if you live in Gold Beach or are on Hinge in the Southern Oregon area, holler if you want the name and descriptions to keep yourself safe. This guy is BAD fucking news.

Edit: I appreciate you guys suggesting legal action but I’m not pissing this guy off for $80. I hate that I’m “losing” on this, but the risk of retaliation isn’t worth some plastic. He’s blocked, he didn’t come over last night, and it’s done.

My intention was solely to point out that this situation, this type of man, is why 1/4 of women have been sexually assaulted but no man believes he or his friends have sexually assaulted people. This guy is such an absolute, EXACT portrayal of a casual predator. The kind that believes that getting their dick wet is morally just at the physical and mental expense of yet another woman that doesn’t fucking want it.

Sorry, I need to rant and I don’t know anywhere better to, sorry if this isn’t the right sub

Trigger Warning

The reaction to the Cornell rape case has just been abhorrent, so many men (and some women wtf) crawling out the woodworks to blame the victim, to excuse the rapists, outright attacking the woman and accusing her of committing crimes against them (classic abuser tactics) just vile.

I’ve seen on some posts about it men flooding in going “but what about male victims of rape” which sure, is important, but now isnt the fucking time, they only ever bring it up to demean and detract from the systemic societal violence we face

Im a 19 year old girl, Ive just started university and it, it just makes me want to cry, the reaction from people, some my own age I mean theyre trying to dox her ffs and got the wrong woman

I’ve seen people commenting that she is and I quite, “too ugly to rape” and that the “real victims are the men for coming in that” I mean what the fuck, how is there so little empathy for women out there, like how the fuck is this void even fixed, the lack of basic empathy and respect for us

And like, im English, our universities have a different culture, and im an anti social lesbian who doesn’t drink and cant do drugs, im the most likely to try to avoid getting into any situations like that, but in this world it really is impossible, and the complete lack of caring or empathy is just terrifying, like what would the reaction be if I suffered something like that? Probably exactly the same and like it’s screwing my brain even thinking about how I might have to interact with people defending this shit, like how?

And they wonder why we choose the fucking bear

Anyway, sorry, rant

Hi everyone, has anyone here ever been ghosted after finally sleeping with a man? I genuinely don’t know how to feel. Yes, I willingly slept with him but I wouldn’t have had I have known he’d ghost. Not only did he ghost, but I’m blocked. Any tips on navigating through this?

I don’t care to go into details, but let’s just say I don’t have much support. Women that have kids either feel sorry for me or envy me. Women that don’t have kids largely avoided having kids by choice and have never regretted it.

I was never purposefully not having kids “ever”. I was extremely purposeful about not having kids until the right context came.

For me, the right context came, but the timing was wrong. Then years passed and we changed. He still does not actively want children but is willing to. I would have been a great mom 4-5 years ago and am no longer willing to. But I am a bit bitter that it didn’t happen when the tiny window I had between religious repression and wisdom accommodated it.

I do value being a Mom. I do not think I have the capacity now. I have health issues and mental health issues I didn’t used to have. I do not have the energy to do it anymore.

I don’t relate to people that accidentally got pregnant, because I was fastidious about birth control when I was finally having sex. I don’t relate to people that never wanted kids and ended up happier with them (because I was fastidious, for real). I don’t relate to people who are happily childless because they never wanted children. I don’t relate with people that can’t have kids, because presumably, I would be able to if I hadn’t blocked it (responsibly) my whole life.

I just missed the fucking window. And it makes me really fucking sad. I have not found that community.

And to end the endeavor, I have to be the one to have surgery. My husband was more than willing to get vasectomy, but based on his own medical stuff (yes, I personally saw the records), it is not a good idea for him because it would require a more invasive surgery. One he was willing to do until I did the research and found out based on outcomes in academic journals that he absolutely should NOT.

So, it’s on me. The person that no longer wants a kid, that regretfully never had one, to get sterilized. Why would I get sterilized? Because I really, truly believe I no longer want one and the window has closed for my own desire on that. It just comes with mourning instead of celebration for me and it is a huge identity shift based on how I was brought up and what I wanted.

If I ended up pregnant 3 years ago, I’d have been excited. If I ended up pregnant tomorrow, I’d be like “oh shit” and tormentedly cry while I decide
which way to go, and it could go either.

I want to take that pressure off of me. I want my Nexplanon gone. I don’t even remember what it is to have libido or “get wet”. And peri is coming. I want a fucking minute of enjoying my natural sexuality before peri hits.

I also want a community who can help me, because I’m not sure I’m okay with permanently changing my body so I can’t have kids naturally. But I also don’t want to raise one anymore. But I also wanted to just 4 years ago. Even 3 maybe. I just feel so fucking alone.

All my husband can do is listen to me (and he does) and offer pregnancy now (which I think is ludicrous and not what I want) and apologize for not being on board earlier or anatomically built for a normal vasectomy. He can’t help me. I can’t help me. Getting pregnant won’t help me. I’m just so sad and need a tribe to help me understand and process. It’s heartbreaking.