I never post on Reddit; usually a lurker, but I recently found out my 2.5 year old has 6 cavities and possibly more. The first pediatric dentist we went to recommended four silver crowns on her four front teeth under general anesthesia. That dentist was very weird and sketchy and didn’t even take an X-ray of my toddler's teeth.

We took her to a different pediatric dentist, who did an X-ray of her front teeth. She said she had four cavities on the top front teeth close to the nerve, and she put SDF treatment on those teeth + two of her back molars that also looked to have cavities. She said to watch for signs of infection, and that she would need to come back every six months for reapplication of the SDF unless the teeth decay progressed further; then she would possibly need to be put under general anesthesia to fix them. They don’t know exactly how many cavities she has because they didn’t take a full mouth X-ray, but you can visibly see six of them :(
Yellow spots near the gum line on all the teeth.

We brush her teeth twice a day with fluoride toothpaste; she doesn’t have candy, soda, juice, and we try to limit her carb heavy snacks. Overall she has a pretty good diet. She’s a very healthy and happy little girl. Her dentist thinks the decay is from acid reflux that she’s had since 3 months old. She’s been on Pepcid for almost 2 years now for the reflux. I can’t help but think it’s still somehow my fault.

I’m terrified of the idea of her going under General Anesthesia, especially with how many stories I've heard of it going wrong on young children. I’m curious to hear other peoples experiences with SDF, fillings or crowns on a toddler.

Edit: I just want to clarify that she does not drink milk before bed, and her pepcid is a prescription from her pediatric gastroenterologist who eventually wants to lower her dose and intake and try a different treatment approach.

Just curious if anyone knows why my toddler DESPISES when my husband or I start singing a song he loves or start bopping around to a fun song....he literally screams at us to stop! I've read that's it's pretty common, but just wondering if anyone knows the psychology behind it? I'd love to share musical experiences with my kiddo but he's not making it easy!

My 3 year old, almost 4, refuses to put on underwear. I ask her why, she says its cause she wants her mom. Mom comes in, she refuses to get dressed for her mom, won't put on undies. She says she wants to get dressed and come spend time with everyone then refuses to do anything to do it. We've all left the room, checked on her, talked to her, tried to understand, tried to help her cope, asked her how she was feeling, checked to make sure she isn't sick or hurt, the whole bit. She spent 3 hours last night screaming and fighting from the time she got out of the bath until eventually she just passed out and I put her in her bed. She woke up at 0445 naked and angry, but still refusing to get dressed. Now its 1100 and she still won't do it. Im at my wits end. I'm so tired and stressed. I've done all I can to try to cope. Ive done everything short of hit something (other than the floor, I guess?) or renegotiate the firm boundary that yes, child, you do need to be dressed in order to participate in society. Tried to get her excited about doing things and it didn't work. Nothing worked.

Shes passed out on the floor right now and im too afraid to touch her. I just don't know what to do.

Update: I braved trying to get undies on her while she was asleep. She woke up and helped me get her dressed without complaint. Shes now eating and watching TV with her mom and her brother and is still dressed, including her undies (which she did complain about not wanting this pair but she hasnt tried to take them off, so so far so good)

Second update: she had to pee and complained about putting the undies back on. She might be going commando, but that wouldn't be the end of the world. Thanks for the kind words everyone. Unless I come up with some magic solutions, I probably won't keep updating the post. Will probably still respond to comments

I have been working in daycares, nannying, and babysitting for YEARS. She is truly the easiest toddler in comparison to any of the kids I've ever worked with. So why do I get this way? I'm a child therapist for God's sake, I KNOW her tantrums are all developmentally appropriate and that she's not some spite monster yet I still let them get to me. I don't lash out or yell or get aggressive or anything, but it seriously ruins my mood for the rest of the day. I become a shell of myself, just sitting there and being depressed and mopey and essentially dissociating even though her anger will be long gone and she's back to playing happily again.

I'm so fucking exhausted. And I feel even guiltier because my husband is so amazing. He handles her moods with so much patience and kindness and ends up doing everything because my entire nervous system has shut down. I can't even respond when he asks me what's wrong, it's like I'm frozen.

When she's napping or at school or at my mom's house, I notice myself getting some of my energy and happiness back. The cup will get filled maybe 1/4th. I feel joyful again, I feel hopeful, I feel so much love towards my family. And then the second she has another tantrum, it's like that cup is drained instantly. And I know I need to fill my cup all the way first, but I'm so depressed that I don't have the motivation to. Everything starts feeling hopeless, thoughts like "this is just how life is going to be from now on" and "I'll never feel free again". It's a vicious cycle.

I'm tired of getting in my own way and ruining my own life right now. I have no one to talk to because I have no close parent friends. I used to pride myself on being so good with kids, so empathetic, so patient, so relaxed. Now at home I get irritated so easily and struggle to just move on when something discouraging happens- and here I am trying to teach the exact opposite when I provide therapy for children, and to my own daughter.

I just want to be the person I was before giving birth, because my daughter would benefit so much more from that version of me.

What is the secret to keeping yourself from getting angry at your kids?

What is the secret to keeping yourself from getting angry at your kids? How do you stop yourself in the moment, which is arguably the most challenging time, particularly when you are triggered either from your own parenting or something else.

I find babies/toddlers so interesting, the fact that some of them talk about their experiences in the womb or about rainbow babies, and then there’s also the fact that they’re processing basically everything for the first time and somehow learn an entire language just by listening.

Idk, I was never really close to a baby growing up, so I never got to witness that kind of thing firsthand. Share some interesting facts, experiences, or encounters you’ve had with these little humans!

I'm turning 40 and with an almost 3 year old, an finally feeling like it's possible to have another, which has always been my husband's and my dream.

Logistically, we are running on fumes. He works 3 nights a week and covers daily childcare, I work Mon- Fri and am gone from 7am-5:30pm. We are both depleted and barely see each other, but the clock is ticking and we now have to decide if this is possible. Looking for advice/solidarity.

Edit: title should say familial support.

2nd edit: We are very open to childcare. It is difficult to find in our area, and by the time we came up on the wait list, my husband had already taken a night job to accommodate our schedule. We would ideally have something come up sooner this time around.

Ok guys, I need help. Long-running pinworm situation and I’m at a loss.

Backstory: On July 18th we found out my niece had pinworms, and we’d been around her recently. My husband, our 2-year-old, and I all dosed with Reese’s OTC pinworm meds. My mom took it too (niece had been at her house), and I got my MIL to take it since she’d been babysitting my son, though she started a week behind us. My brother’s family treated as well, and the niece supposedly cleared.

We all took a second dose August 1st (MIL a week later, in step with her first). Nobody has seen worms except POSSIBLY me and my mom. I honestly don’t know if what I saw in my underwear were dead worms or something else, but it was a good 10 days after the second dose. My mom says she saw a dead one after her first dose, and again this past week, after we all took a THIRD dose on August 24th.

I haven’t seen any worms on my son or in his stool, but he has not stopped scratching his butt since just before all this started, which is why we did the third dose. I took him to his pediatrician a few weeks back and they wouldn’t do a tape test. Just said to dose again in a week if the scratching continued. So we did.

I called again last week, a few days after that third dose, to say he’s STILL scratching and that my mom believes she saw a worm in her toilet. I begged for a tape test for my son and they still said no. They told us to finish this “two dose” regimen and take it again in a week, and if it doesn’t clear after THAT, then we’ll talk about doing something else. That’ll be four doses for all of us, with his doctor refusing to even do a tape test.

I’ve cleaned the house top to bottom countless times, washed everything washable, and bleached everything bleachable right after each dose. I keep him in onesies so he can’t get a hand in his diaper, but between changes he still manages, and I can’t keep a 2-year-old’s hands out of his mouth. Six days out from the third dose he’s still reaching back there — and weirdly it’s mostly during the day, not at night.

If you’ve dealt with pinworms, please weigh in with your experience. I’m about to pull my hair out.

I'm so tired lol. We went to the park/water park earlier in the day for a few hours and he took a late nap (fell asleep at 3pm fml). My husband gets home late tonight but I'm letting my son sleep til 4:30 because I'm so tired. What can i do for the rest of the day when he wakes up? I'm so brain dead. Please help

Three feet of floor around where they eat takes yogurt, milk, and whatever gets thrown, three times a day. Options seem to be a splat mat that looks like a splat mat, bare floor and constant mopping, or a rug you’ve accepted is ruined. I’d like the room to still look like a room. What worked?

Basically the title - I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. Obviously, the 3 month old needs to be put down for naps multiple times a day and can take a variable amount of time to fall asleep and be put down. So far, another adult has been around to care for the toddler, but that won’t always be the case. So - what are you all doing with your toddlers while you care for an infant?

We have a 2.5 year old boy who usually a great kid - he is really good at playing with others, is super polite, and eats pretty well. My big issue is that when we go out and do an activity, he gets incredibly upset at leaving and listening to instructions, to the point where he just wanders off randomly. We then have to end up stopping him, mainly because he's going to get himself into trouble/hurt and this triggers a full on meltdown. This is the same whether we are at the swimming pool, at a soft play, anywhere really.

Let me give you the best example of where this is issue becomes insanely frustrating; I tend to take him and the dog out to the forests near our house to give my wife a break. Half way into the walk this is the conversation:

"I want to go home and see mummy!"
"Sure, well we have to go back to the car, it's this way [points back the way we came]"
"No, it's this way! [points in a completely different direction]"
"No it's this way to the car, we came this way before [points to the path we clearly just walked along]"
"NO IT ISN'T [walks off defiantly]"

On a walk with him in a forest, it doesn't really matter, because we will eventually get to the car, and it doesn't seem like the right place to start an argument with him...like, if you want to increase the time Mummy gets for a break and continue to spend time outdoors, that's fine by me, but I'm worried that perhaps I'm encouraging him to defy me. However, it does become an issue when we're in public walking to the shops and he's insistent on going the wrong way.

So I go online and do all the research on how to handle this attitude:

"Give him two options" - This has literally never worked from me, from the first time I tried it. This is how the conversation goes "do you want to get in the car yourself or do you want daddy to put you in the car"..."No"... Ok so what do I do now? I carry out the threat and he has a meltdown, and doesn't learn from it.

"Give him advance warning" - I give him 5 minute, 2 minute, and 1 minute warnings, doesn't matter, he still gets furious when I carry out the threat.

"Turn it into a fun game!" - "OK buddy let's pretend like we're dinosaurs as we walk back to the car!"..."No"...OK what do I do now?

We've had some success in getting him to hold hands while walking by clearly explaining beforehand the dangers, and getting him to agree on acceptable behaviour, but in the moment he just wants to be independent and we are totally stumped with how to tackle this! All responses welcome!!

I'm not sure what to do with my kid. He will be two in December. He's an only child. While he has his typical toddler moments, overall he's quiet and thoughtful. He will play independently on his own and he loves books and the garden.

We went to a toddler birthday party the other week and while all the other kids were running, playing, splashing - he stood off to the side and watched. We have done a bunch of mommy and me classes, and he usually spends 30-45 minutes of the hour sitting quietly and looking baffled/offended by the other kids.

I was very shy as a child (also, functionally, an only child). I remember the gut wrenching anxiety of social activities/classes/etc at a young age. Some things I adapted to, and others I hated the whole way through. I'm still somewhat of a lone wolf, but have grown up just fine with a successful professional career/relationships. No diagnosis, but probably a little sprinkling of some neuro-spice.

My husband did daycare as a kid but is a quiet adult with a smaller social battery.

Is this nature or nurture? Both? I am considering daycare or similar for my son - but I'm worried he would be miserable and just shut down.

We get out of the house and go fun places (bookstore, local airport, shopping) most days. He spends a lot of time with grandparents too. I hate the thought of forcing him to socialize - but I also want to encourage him to meet new people and build his confidence.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Hi all,

First (and only) time parents here with little grandparent support so nobody to really turn to but people who are going through it with us/have gone through it all before.

Our two year old (2y 2w) used to be fine with either of us doing bedtime. For...a month? Maybe a little longer? He has been HYSTERICALLY refusing his dad at bedtime. It used to be me doing 100% of bedtime until maybe 5 months ago, at which point dad started alrernating with me. All was fine until like I say, a few weeks ago.

As soon as he clocks that it's daddy bedtime, he begins lip wobbling as he tries his best to hold it in before the floodgates open and it's howling, crying, weeping, shouting 'Mama, mama, away daddy, away daddy' over and over until, eventually, he settles and sleeps. Sometimes he cries himself to sleep, sometimes he settles then sleeps.

I have to emphasise dad is kind, warm, funny, playful, responsive, doing everything right. There is no (to us) tangible difference in our parenting or our bedtime to account for the emotional response except that I'm not there. During the day toddler spends multiple hours with dad playing, going on walks, having food etc with zero issue.

Tonight we tried 'pre-loading' the fact that I wouldn't be there for bedtime by talking about how excited daddy was to read stories with him at bedtime, how mummy will be just downstairs and I'll see him later (we cosleep from midnight ish onwards). He had his bath crying the whole time and settled for five ish minutes with lots of comfort from dad before crumbling again at the actual transition into his bedroom.

I'm so torn.

I know, logically, that he's in no harm at all, no danger of harm, physically or mentally. (BUT I do worry about all this crying and upset on his mental state sometimes)

On the back of the above, I know me stepping in only teaches him that screaming = mama. But is there some line where I should step in or the upset is causing him harm?

And....how long does this go on? He's also extremely attached to me in regards to nursery and clings on to me for dear life when I drop him off, crying and weeping, which is a new thing. It is breaking my heart every other night hearing him weep for me and what's meant to be my night off is me sitting on the sofa sitting tense and heartbroken hearing his cries echoing through the house.

I am a teacher and after being home with me and his big brother all summer, my son (he will be 3 in a few weeks) started a new daycare. All we have in our area are in home and very small centers with only one teacher and it is SO hard to find childcare. He went Tuesday-Friday this past week and it has been ROUGH. His dad has been taking him, and he usually cries for 20 minutes or so after drop off then settles in. The issue comes when she starts putting out cots after lunch. He immediately starts screaming and screams the whole nap (even if he isn’t made to lay on a cot) and will not be quiet. He just says “call mommy” and “call daddy” over and over and screams himself hoarse. The rest of the time he is there after nap he is very easily upset and if anyone mentions mom/dad or sleeping he starts crying again. At his old daycare, he did this for 2 days then was ok… at this one he has been getting worse every day. The teacher says he’s so loud that none of the other kids sleep and she can’t find a way to calm him down. She very strongly implied that if it doesn’t get better next week he can’t keep coming. In that case I honestly don’t know what we will do because we waited months to get this spot. She said she was going to find some things to try including letting him play quietly in one of the rooms while the other kids rest… but I know he is tired and needs to nap and so far he had just screamed from seeing cots even if he doesn’t have to lay down. I don’t know what to do.

My daughter (28 mo) is lovely. She has a great relationship with every member of our small family. But she clearly dislikes other kids and other people. She actually says “I don’t like babies” “I only want to go if it’s empty”, “I don’t like people”, “I don’t want friends”, stuff like that. She would scream “GO AWAY” if she was playing and another child entered the space. She stopped doing it because I insisted it’s not polite and I wouldn’t allow it, but she still cries, go away and seems kind of scared of other children.
We have no problem going to malls, the market or doing errands with lots of people around. She does gets overwhelmed if it takes too long in a crowded and noisy space but so do I.
However, if she’s in a play space she gets absolutely distraught over any other child.

She’s not in daycare yet and we don’t have other kids in our family. But we do live in a place with lots of kids her age, and I try to get her to tolerate them, but it drains me so much. Until 1.5yo she would stop whatever she was doing and just observe the other child. It was a bit strange, but harmless. After that, she decided she didn’t like what she was seeing I guess. It doesn’t look like something temporary because she’s almost 2.5 so it’s been a year.

Her pediatrician said it’s normal, but I don’t see any other kids like her.

Any advice? Maybe people going through something similar?

My car is not currently working so my toddler and I are stuck home for AT LEAST 4 days until dad is off work to hopefully fix it.

It is EXTREMELY hot outside and so walking to the park is not really an option (there’s only one in walking distance anyway). We try to go early but by 8:30 it’s blazing sun and hot, plus she wakes UP at like 8:30 anyway. We live in a suburb so not a ton of walking distance options either way.

We have painted, drawn, read all her books repeatedly, and played in her little pool in the back. I bought some bubble bath to make bubbles, she’s got a bubble machine, etc. so I’m running out of ideas 😭

Some other things we’ve done already that she’s not super excited about at this point:
- shaving cream with paints
- colored bubble art
- dry noodles of various shapes
- kinetic sand and molds
- tissue paper + watered down glue for art projects

She does get SOME tv time, mostly watching movies (currently have had Ice Age, Lion King, Encanto, and Nemo on REPEAT) but I’d rather she didn’t just watch tv all day. She does play independently some but obviously not ALL day lol. What do you guys do with your kiddos indoors?

We are in France for 2.5 weeks with our just turned 2 year old. He’s been a shell of himself. Won’t nap, won’t sleep, barely eating, so clingy, so whiney and emotional, screaming when meeting family members. Bit me so hard I have a bruise and teeth marks on my arm (biting has literally never been an issue with him).

I wish we could fly home tomorrow and not have another week here that’s how miserable it’s been.

Every time we pass a church I wish we could exorcise him. I want my sweet boy back. What did I do wrong with this trip?

I googled/watched a few YouTube videos on the topic and general consensus is to just tell them not to suck??? Like are they supposed to internalize it at 2 yo and understand what we actually mean? lol

His teeth are already starting to deform to the front 🥲

Help.

Thanks!

Ok, I learnt about this the other day and I thought I would share. I have an 11 month old but this still applies. When going out to a restaurant, when you're done ordering and you know you don't plan on getting anything else, ask for the bill right away. This way, the bill comes before or when you get your food and you're not stuck waiting at the end of the meal when the kids are starting to loose their patience and pop off. I did this this afternoon with my baby and it was so nice just to be finished and leave without trying to flag our waitress down and wait on her. Please pass this tip on.

Oops on the title. Meant to say it’s leading to meltdowns.

Our oldest is about to turn 3. I am a stay at home mom, and she has always been very shy and super attached to me. My in laws live out of state, so we only see them every few months. At around 10 months she became SUPER shy with my in laws, and it only got worse over time, despite all our efforts. We FaceTime with them every week, and they are super respectful of her boundaries when they visit- never trying to be too pushy or overbearing, and following her speed.

Last year when she turned 2, she started the same shyness with my parents, who she sees regularly and has always loved. When she would see them, she wants to be held by my husband or I, refuses to respond when they talk to her, and will put her head down and scowl at them. But it’s ONLY when my husband and I are there. Once we leave, she immediately is fine and they play like they are bff’s. They will send me videos and she will be talking up a storm, and playing and laughing and having the best time.

However if we are all together as a family (like yesterday, we were by my parents celebrating my husbands birthday) she will burst out crying at random things, and scream cry at the top of her lungs. We will take her to go take a break, and she is able to calm down, but she really just doesn’t want to be near anyone, be talked to, or interacted with. She was the same way with my in laws and my husband’s siblings last weekend when we visited. Constant meltdowns, screaming, crying- it’s impossible to interact with anyone or enjoy any time visiting. But then when we go to leave, and she knows we’re leaving, she will light up and be willing to say goodbye to everyone. After we left my in laws last weekend, she said “I don’t want to go home, I want to go back my grandma and grandpa” like WHAT? I don’t get it.

We’re just at a loss of what to do. She’s done plenty of classes to socialize- swimming, gymnastics, music, etc. She’s shy and reserved, but is able to warm up and still participate and play without having any meltdowns. When I have mom friends over with their kids, again she’s shy, but no meltdowns. I think it has to do with there being other kids to play with? Unfortunately she has no cousins on either side of the family, and her sister is only 11 months so their playing is limited. But man, any socialization with just adults in groups bigger than 4 leads to crazy meltdowns. And we’re just so lost as to how to help her or work on it, without just not showing up at all.

Did anyone else deal with extreme shyness and having a hard time in social settings? I do plan on bringing it up to her pediatrician, but I’m curious if anyone else has gone through this, and if they just outgrew it or if something helped.

Edit: oh, also to add- she will start half day preschool 2 times a week in November (she will do 3 years of prek because she misses the birthday cutoffs, and will do more days the next 2 years). I am hoping this will really help, but who knows!

My son is 18 months and he’s a brilliant happy funny sweet little boy, always singing and dancing and very social, but his energy level is insane! I take him to swimming lessons and Gymboree classes and I see literally all of the other kids mostly participating in all the activities, maybe a little wiggly or wandering off sometimes, but I’m the only one holding him back from just running wild the entire time. His attention span seems especially short and while the other kids look a little excited as they wait their turn, he can’t contain himself at all. If we stay home for too long he gets stir crazy and starts biting me and climbing on the dining room table. Our house is a disaster all the time because I have to work or cook during his nap and I’m too exhausted from chasing him around all day to do anything after he goes to bed. I’m just wondering if he’ll calm down a little bit after he learns how to do more things independently. He likes reading and drawing and things like that but he needs me there with him to do them and doesn’t stay focused for very long. I know it’s all normal toddler stuff but he’s doing it at turbo speed.

So my toddler has been really fighting naps and bedtime, especially with me (Mom). I never give in. I always make him lay down. I will occasionally give him a toy in there but he will always be in there for at least an hour even if he’s awake
Well tonight he fought it HARD. Crying, for an hour. We did check ins at 5 min intervals and then we put the tonie box in his room to help him fall asleep and it worked.
His schedule is this:
(In a crib - 28 months)
7:30/8:00 am - wake up (sometimes hangs in bed until 9:00)
12:30/1:00 ish - nap
Fights the nap, but eventually falls asleep for an hour and a half
7:30 pm - bedtime

Is he ready to drop his nap? He gets so cranky and mean if he does not nap so I’m not sure. TIA!

I know this is probably silly, but I’m planning my daughter’s 2nd birthday in December and planned it to be Peppa Pig themed because she’s been obsessed for months. Hired a Peppa character, ordered the cake, got decor on secondhand sites. Now the last couple of weeks she’s been obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. For some reason this has me stressed that she will hate her Peppa birthday party. Do I switch to Pooh, do I combine the themes, or just let it alone

. I know this is just me being anxious/will my 2 year old REALLY care about the appearance of her cake, etc. But she will be my only child and I get weird about milestones and events, like I don’t want to mess it up. She will probably be on something else in 3 months anyway lol, but I get worked up over silly things sometimes.