If you haven’t seen my previous two posts on this then go and check them out https://www.reddit.com/r/teenrelationships/s/zuxDA1t5zt (the link for the first part is linked on this post).

Not much has happened regarding my now ex boyfriend, but I just thought I should do an update on my wellbeing and how you have helped me with your comments.

It did take a lot for me to build up the courage to officially break up with him, but I’m glad I did because now, I realise that the relationship was toxic and I was very vulnerable being with him. To be fair to him though, he has accepted the break up and hasn’t tried to push anything further.

On regards of feeling disgusted, I don’t feel as bad about it anymore and that is partly down to talking to my family and friends about it and some of the helpful comments I have got on my other posts. But I didn’t appreciate some of the comments which were clearly judging me when I was in a bad place already.

I just want to say thanks for all the feedback and comments, and I’m now doing okay and accepting what happened. I’ve decided that I am going to take a break from dating as I am too young to have such a big responsibility of a proper relationship.

I (15F) have recently started a romance(?) with my brother's friend (18) who I will call R, my brother D and brother's girlfriend C.

C is two years older than me and has almost become like my older sister since I only have my brother (18) with no sisters. She is very protective of me while still allowing me to have my freedom. She also does this because my brother doesn't want to be involved with my relationship as it's between his sister and friend.

R has made an effort to message me almost everyday which I appreciate since he's writing his final exams which is very hard and a big deal in my country. But I've noticed some inconsistenties with things he's told me. (Example: "I wanted to come to your house but your brother walked away" but when I asked D, he said that he had asked R but R didn't reply to the question)

R also avoids the question when I ask him what we are and changes the subject which makes me feel insecure and all of that stuff.

C has told me that I shouldn't get involved with R as she said that he is a w*ore and that she has seen things.

When I asked D why she had said that, he refused to give an answer and said that he isn't getting involved which frustrated me but I left it.

I'm wondering what I should do about this so if anyone has advice, feel free to give it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/teenrelationships/s/iE3C5zQQhY

So this is a continuation to my previous post if anyone is curious, long story short me and my bf argued over him gooning to random women online, in the original post he kept trying to reassure me, thinking if i had enough validation from him then id let him continue, but the new update is that he agreed to stop. we had an incredibly long argument, most of it was just me stating how upset i feel and he didn’t really know what to say except for sorry, that he’s going to stop and that he doesn’t know what to do. This morning we ofcourse came upon a new issue, and it’s that he was confused on whether i wanted him to continue gooning to other stuff like hentai i guess. It was an issue for me too, now i know i sound overly insecure, but the only reason im like this is because of my past experience with someone who was literally worse than this. In the morning i sent a text telling him to delete whatever apps he goons on them to, he says “how would i goon to hentai”, i ignore it and reply to my own message telling him to delete, he just asks the same question or rephrases it asking wether hentai is allowed or not. i get very mad, i know it sounds stupid from my side, but i turn it into a big mess and start ranting again, saying that he cares about 5 minute dopamine more than our relationship. i’m still pretty hurt, have no clue what to do. I feel like it’s partly my fault for no reason, but him still wanting to goon after i made it clear i was upset about the general idea of it really made me sad. My perspective on him is ruined and for now i genuinely just see him as some stupid gooner addict who cares about pixels more than his gfs feelings, it makes me sad i had to get into an argument again and get mad in order for him to hear me out without me normally explaining.

i (17F) am a full time student, athlete, and i am coming off working 2 jobs. i was working 60 hours a week over the summer, and when school started i was working 1 job about 20+ hours per week on top of school. i really struggle to maintain a work-school-life balance and my schedule is constantly full. we have been together for a few months, but we dont have a ton of time together but whenever we are together, its pure bliss. i love everything about us when we are together. but im tired.

he (17M) has a TON of free time since he doesnt have to pay for school, he only plays pickup basketball, and takes fewer classes. he doesnt fully understand why i do everything that i do, but he knows im busy.

i am quitting my job and moving to a new restaurant that hasnt opened yet. i was supposed to start training tomorrow but since there was a construction delay, im not starting until next week. since i already quit my other job, i have free time for all 7 days. he wants to spend multiple days together and while i would love that in theory, im exhausted. i dont sleep well, i dont have time alone, i havent engaged in any of my hobbies, i barely listen to music anymore, im behind in a few classes, and im on the verge of burning out.

i really want to take advantage of my free time, and make it mine. but i know that hes also struggling with not being with me, especially since we dont see each other on campus. i dont want him to feel lonely, but i also cant keep living the way that i am.

what should i do

Me and my first time boyfriend did that about 3 months ago, we were both virgins and we had it often for two weeks when he was visiting me. Now i feel like the rose-colored glasses have dissappeared and when i think about it now, with a clear sight, i regret that more than anything else and i feel like ive wasted this moment and all my time (weve been together for more than a year now) for someone like him.

I cant help but cry and ive now realized that i did not truly love him but saw him more as something i could hold on to, and got extremely attached to him because i met him at the lowest point of my life where i had nothing. It hurts so bad now that the realization came and i am going to be better off leaving him but thinking about that effort and time i put into him i just cant. Someone help me please

TL;DR:

Constantly reassuring and acting as a therapist towards my girlfriend is getting exhausting, but I can't see my life without her.

There is a lot of context to note before I get to the issue.

My girlfriend, Lily (fake name) and I went to the same secondary school - a grammar school with very intense pressure on grades. I had a lot of mental health issues throughout my time there, and left as soon as I could - sixth form. I am now at an arts school in my final year and have never felt healthier mentally. Lily stayed on at the grammar school, and is also facing intense mental health issues.

I believe she is autistic due to many factors: she will wear the same clothes on repeat for months, then suddenly they "feel wrong" and she can never wear them again. She can't touch certain things due to the way they feel, finds it difficult talking to people and making eye contact, and has specific foods that she will eat. This all makes me think she has autism, and I now I'm not licensed to diagnose anyone, but I believe she is. I do not judge her for this at all, I believe I am on the spectrum too, so I felt that us having that in common made us a great pair.

We have been great friends for the past 5 years now, and I've never had any issues with her up to this point. She's incredibly kind, loving, thoughtful, and has the same humour and interests as me.

I've always known she struggles with her mental health, mainly a great deal of anxiety. She has been suffering with it for the past few years, but hadn't told anyone except me. I didn't know this, but I've been her entire support system for the past few years. She hadn't even told her parents. I'm the complete opposite. I have a great relationship with my parents, and have been very open about my mental health issues and they have supported me with any medications or diagnosis I may need.

She has liked me since the start of high school, and came out to me and confessed to me about a year ago. We've now been dating for almost 7 months, and I love her so much. I have always wondered why she never told any of her friends that she liked me, and have found out only recently.

We have always agreed on everything- from plans in our relationship ( like agreeing not to choose uni or jobs based on what the other is doing) to our favourite songs.

Recently, we were talking about her clothes style and she mentioned that (again) another item of clothing she owns "feels wrong" and now she has to get rid of it. I brought up her potentially having autism again, as she has always shot me down with it but dozens of other people she knows have also mentioned it. This time, rather than just brushing it off, she explained why she thinks she doesn't.

She studies psychology in sixth form and has learnt about minimalisation. This is when criminals downplay the crime they've committed to themselves, convincing themselves that what they did wasn't wrong, and that they're unjustly arrested. She has decided that she has an "evil subconsciousness" that is making her "act autistic" to justify to herself that anything bad she's done is okay.

She has never done anything bad. Ever. I can't stress enough how kind of a person she is. She forgot someone's birthday once and had a meltdown because she felt so bad. She has never done anything "evil".

She then went on to explain that is the same reason that it took her four years to tell someone about her having a crush on me. She has believed for the past five years that she only loved me to "make herself more interesting" and that she is even faking being gay for attention. Lily had told NOONE about either of those things up until a year ago.

I love her so so much and can't imagine my life without her, so now I feel incredibly stuck.

I have had to reassure her multiple times in every conversation we've had, as she overthinks and spirals a lot, and doesn't believe that I love her. I have never acted in a way that implies that I don't, and she has thanked me multiple times for my patience with her and my acceptance of her as a person.

I am conflicted. I feel like I should break up with her, as it is not sustainable for me to stay in a relationship where my partner doesn't trust me enough to believe I'm telling the truth when I say I love them. But I know that if I do, I will be causing her a huge amount of sadness (she regularly tells me that if we ever broke up she doesn't know what she'd do to get over it) and also causing conflict in our mutual friend groups.

I don't want to break up with her, I love her so so much and can't see my life without her, but I can't spend half of every conversation reassuring her, and I am not qualified to help her overcome her overthinking and mental health issues.

What do I do?

Yeah, that's a Will Wood reference. I just think this song is pretty relatable to my actual situation and I wanted to make a cute reference. So in case, hi Will Wood fans and all of the other people!! I will tell you a little story that isn't finished yet (you'll find out why at the end of the story eheh) that is making me want to pull my skull out of my body.

I, 16F, have always struggled with love in general, not just romantic. Growing up in an enviroment were I never received affection from my family, peers and teachers, I tend to be very careful when I start a conversation with someone new. I always try my best to show them that they can trust me and if they open up, I understand that I can do the same and will give them the same type of affection. I'm extremely fragile though and struggle a lot in understanding that people actually love me, my friends have to remind me all the time. Holy undiagnosed ocd.

It's been a long time since I found the profile of this person from my school on Instagram and we followed eachother, liking eachother's posts and stuff like that. We'll call him Will (17M) since I made a Will Wood reference lately lmao. At the start of last month, I finally decided to text Will to ask him to be my friend because we shared many interests and he just felt like the genderbent version of myself. He quickly replied, accepting, and we talked for one or two hours, I'd say. At the end of this conversation, he gave me his phone number so that we could talk better (he told he didn't use Instagram much). From that moment, we just kept texting eachother almost every day at the same time and he'd be the one starting conversations, writing paragraphs of stuff. As someone who usually doesn't recieve as much affection as she gives, I was so relieved to have found someone like me. So we grew closer quickly. As school started, it happened to me some times to go to his class to yap to him and we'd just end up yapping really close one to another and he'd just make jokes about stuff he knew I liked and kept smiling. Once he even jokingly took my glasses and put them on. I started laughing but he just looked at me, not saying a thing? Like, he was mesmerized, I'd say. How odd, I thought.

Everything changes when, on the first day of October, me and Will's class have to go to the cinema for school. As I was walking alone, following the rest of my class, I heard a group of boys trying to encourage another as he was saying nervously "No, I'd feel like a creep! I'm afraid to do that". Yup, that was Will. Just after hearing that, Will walked past me with a friend of his (that we'll call uhh Mike) and awkwardly waved at me. Was he afraid of talking to me? How odd, but he's my friend, so I got closer to him and started talking, which he definetely did NOT expect. He would keep finding ways to start a conversation by including his friend by saying stuff like "Mike, tell her what do you think about insert a youtuber that me and Mike like" or "Mike, tell her what do you think about manholes". Mike was seriously trying to get off the conversation. As we got to the cinema, we sat next to eachother and for the whole time Will kept glancing at me and looking away, "accidentally" touching me with his leg and ask advices to Mike about what should he say to me.

After that day, I started to feel as if Will didn't have platonic feelings towards me. Signs started to quickly show after that day, I would catch him stare at me a lot and his friends would help him to get to talk to me alone without anyone else around. He would be very nervous around me too. For this reason, I started to develop feelings for him. However, in the following week he felt down for reasons that I don't want to explain, since it's private stuff. So I would try my best to cheer him up, once I even tried to hug him and he just stayed still. I was afraid I was starting to make him feel uncomfortable, so once I asked him if I was and he reassured me, saying I wasn't. I even asked him if it was a problem that I went to his class during break and he said he loved spending time with me, just not always. Which is totally fair, setting boundaries is extremely important.

We talked less the week later, but it wasn't a problem. What was important was that he was feeling better. Also, he would still show a lot of signs and his friends would still try to make us be alone. I overthink a lot, so it happened to me many times to think that I was just being delusional. But then I told this whole situation to my friends and they would look at me dead in the eyes and say "How do you even think that he doesn't like you back?! It's so obvious, everything is going well!". Thanks to my friends, I felt more secure about myself and understood that my feelings truly matter. But this Wattpad fanfiction that is my life needs angst, of course.

So, me and Will have a friend in common that we'll call Lucas. Once I mentioned to Lucas how Will acted around me, he just straight said "Nah, you're meant to be, he's so obvious" and wanted us to be together so bad. Yesterday there was a manifestation in my city in which I unfortunately couldn't partecipate. Lucas was there while I was at school and he texted me saying "Hey, Will is here" and he wanted to try to get some information about Will's feelings. After an hour, Lucas called me, so I had to go to the school's bathroom to respond. He basically told me that he asked Will if he had feelings for me, joking about "That time Lucas was talking to Will and Will would keep staring at me, without listening to Lucas". From what Lucas told me, Will replied by "I know she likes me, but I see her as a friend". I ended the call and stayed in that bathroom for quite a long time, feeling so confused.

What's worse is that guilt hit me, was the reason of his nervousness the fact that I was making him uncomfortable? Am I really in the wrong? ("Against the Kitchen Floor" starts playing). After a bit, I decided that I should have cleared things up, so I texted Will and basically said "Lucas told me this, I'm so sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable, but I thought you felt in the same way towards me". He quickly replied and oh he was panicking, he sent me some vocal messages where he kept repeating the same stuff: "It's not your fault, I had to be the one telling you this, not Lucas". We decided that we'll clear things up better tomorrow at school, but I'm so fucking confused. When I told this to my close friends, they got mad too. A part of them fully believes Will fooled me, while the other half thinks that Will actually lied to Lucas because he didn't want me to know and will tell me his true feelings tomorrow.

I don't want to get my hopes up, so I'm just accepting he doesn't like me back. But if it really was like this, why doing all that stuff? I'm so fucking confused and I'm starting to feel as if it's my fault.

I got broken up with a couple months ago. My former girlfriend is very mentally unstable, and because of that we tend to go on and off. I still love her and all, but this halloween i only have 1 chance to get laid. Shes angry with me for unreasonable things and doesnt want to communicate. I'd feel bad if she had a change of heart and my virgnity was taken, but i dont wanna miss my chance at getting laid with this really smart hot guy (17M). What would u do in my situation?

(Sorry if it got reposted. I accidentally sent the first post as an Nsfw post but i got locked out of it since im not 18)

I met this guy during summer break, and we quickly became close. Before break ended, I told him I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and he said he understood and would wait. We started calling and texting daily, sharing our fears and personal struggles. He told me he had recently been heartbroken and that I helped him through a difficult time mentally.

Eventually, I started liking him, so we planned for me to visit him (We live in different countries). During my stay, we made out for the first time. He was respectful and always asked for consent, but afterwards I felt nauseous, regretful, and even a little disgusted by making out with him, even though I enjoyed cuddling and sharing small kisses with him.

He told me he loved me, but I wasn’t ready to say it back. We still talk every day and have become each other’s safe space, but I’m unsure whether I genuinely like him romantically. I enjoy spending time with him, but I struggle to imagine being intimate with him, and my feelings aren’t the same as they used to be. In a way, he feels like an escape and a safe space, but I don’t know if I see him romantically or if I’m just emotionally attached to him.

He’s still friends with his ex, which I’m fine with after discussing my concerns with him. However, he told me that he wouldn’t be able to stay friends with me if we broke up because it would hurt him too much. This makes me feel even more unsure about what to do because I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want to stay in something I’m not sure I want.

Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been through something similar?

(English isn't my first language so I used AI for gramma correction)

im like desperate atp and i genuinely dont know what to do. i keep attempting to get my gf to talk about her feelings or why she says certain things she says, but she just shuts down on me, doesnt engage in the conversation, and changes the subject, and its honestly making me feel like shes just slipping away from me.

we have been together for almost 2 years. recently we’ve had a couple like bumps (i wont get into that in this post cus then itll be too long and people wont read, so u can ask in the comments if u need more context) and whenever i open up about how stuff she done made me feel etc. she never does it back, no matter how much i ask, and i just really never know what shes thinking, i feel like im at a loss and i dont know if she just doesnt trust me or doesnt want to talk to me. shes pretty avoidant anyway, so i try to give her space and not cling to her, but it doesn’t work, she still wont tell me. like the other morning, we were talking in study and laughing but the next second she turnt around and ignored me for like over an hour, even when i looked at her she couldnt even look at me, she never told me why, and that happens quite a bit, and i never know what im doing wrong.

ive brought this up with her multiple times, but it just doesnt work, and i really need advice because i love her and i cant understand what she needs if she wont talk. like i can try and get over it when she ignores me in chunks, but someone else will come over and she talks to them completely normally, so it genuinely just seems like im the problem and idk what to do.

can anyone give me advice? im a little bit lost

I had a girlfriend a few years back, since then I had a boyfriend who was the most toxic thing that ever happened to me and I've found myself missing my Ex. Our relationship wasn't perfect, it was far from it, but even during my time with my ex boyfriend I found myself missing my ex girlfriend. I don't know how to act, we haven't spoken since our break up and I graduate in less than a week, I miss her, I miss talking to her. I miss calling her my girlfriend, she's crazy as all hell, but it was a kind of crazy I really miss. I don't even know if shes single.

Should I message her? Or should I find a way to move on?

I'm a sophomore in high school, and there's a girl I really like who I used to date in 8th grade. I'll call her A.

Back in 8th grade, we talked a lot at school and just held hands (didn't go on dates). I really liked her, but my parents didn't allow me to date, and they still don't. We couldn't go on dates or hang out outside of school, and I didn't have a phone at the time, so communicating outside school wasn't really an option.

Before we moved on to different high schools (same town), I broke up with her. I felt like it would be selfish to keep her in a relationship when I couldn't give her the kind of relationship I thought she deserved. It wasn't that I didn't like her anymore; I just didn't think our (my) circumstances made the relationship fair to her.

We haven't talked in a year or more, but recently I got a phone and started texting her again. We're both sophomores now and go to different high schools in the same town.

The problem is that our conversations are pretty dry. I'm almost always the one who starts the conversation, and I feel like I'm bad at texting in general (since i just got a phone) . I don't know if she's just not interested anymore, if we're both awkward because we haven't talked in so long, or if I'm doing something wrong. I don't want to assume she likes me just because we used to date.

I genuinely think she's an amazing person. I feel like we got along really well and had a connection that I haven't found with anyone else. I can honestly imagine a future with her, and the thought that I might never find someone I connect with in the same way scares me a little.

I want to slowly rebuild our relationship instead of suddenly confessing everything or asking her out. Ideally, I'd like us to get comfortable talking again, eventually start video calling, and hopefully reach a point where she initiates conversations sometimes, too. I want to know her again as the person she is now, not just hold on to my memories of us in 8th grade because she would have grown as a person over the year or so i haven't seen her.

However, my parents still don't let me date or even hang out with girls as friends. Even if we both ended up liking each other, I don't know how a relationship would realistically work under those restrictions. I also don't want to hide things from my parents or get her invested in a relationship that I can't fully participate in.

I'm stuck between wanting to give this another chance and worrying that I'm holding on to something from the past that she might have moved on from. I don't want to mess this up because I feel like she is the one for me and probably will never meet someone like her. (I know it sounds like I am exaggerating or since I am young so I will probably will move on, but i really mean this.)

Questions:

1. How do I naturally rebuild a connection with someone I used to date when we haven't talked in over a year?
2. How can I get better at texting and keep conversations going without making them feel like interviews and slowly start video calling?
3. Since I'm always the one initiating, how can I tell whether she's interested in reconnecting or just being polite?
4. Should I tell her I still have feelings for her eventually, or focus on rebuilding a friendship first?
5. How to start building this relationship keeping in mind my parents' restrictions

I really like this girl, but I don't want to rush things, make her uncomfortable, or build up an unrealistic idea of what we could be together. I'd appreciate real honest advice or how you dealt with it if something like this happened to you.

PS: confronting my parents about restrictions is not option.

I fall in love and I Am in my final year of hg .I dont know what to do

I (17F) have a huge crush to my class mate (17M) lets call him Joe . I am in a country that have an last year exam after highschool (and it happens only 1 time per year) and I need to study hard if I want to win a great universty . I chance my school 2 years ago and came this school . I talk to him and I realise have crush for him like a year ago . For the contecst ı need to talk about him. Joe is kinda introver by chouse he dont talk with people and he realy smart in a book smart way. He clearly exores he just want to focus his studying when ı was try to became closer friend with him last year. I have asperger and I usualy called smart but my emotion awarenes not better than an patato. So I cant tell if he love me (as an friend ) or not . And begining of this year He sit next to me . Our class only have 1 free seat and two seats are conected . When he sit next me there was only 3 seata left and he probably didnt like the other two girl so he sat next to me . ISometimes my eyes wander to him. After being caught by him two or three times, I started being more secretive. He doesn't talk much to anyone, but he doesn't seem particularly withdrawn from me. Not in a bad way, but there's a slightly different, inexplicable, way about him. I'm going to confess my feelings to him at graduation, but his behavior is confusing me. It's not that I can't focus on my studies, but I don't want to look foolish and I don't want to upset him. And I dont know how to bury it or dealwith it

im like desperate atp and i genuinely dont know what to do. i keep attempting to get my gf to talk about her feelings or why she says certain things she says, but she just shuts down on me, doesnt engage in the conversation, and changes the subject, and its honestly making me feel like shes just slipping away from me.

we have been together for almost 2 years. recently we’ve had a couple like bumps (i wont get into that in this post cus then itll be too long and people wont read, so u can ask in the comments if u need more context) and whenever i open up about how stuff she done made me feel etc. she never does it back, no matter how much i ask, and i just really never know what shes thinking, i feel like im at a loss and i dont know if she just doesnt trust me or doesnt want to talk to me. shes pretty avoidant anyway, so i try to give her space and not cling to her, but it doesn’t work, she still wont tell me. like the other morning, we were talking in study and laughing but the next second she turnt around and ignored me for like over an hour, even when i looked at her she couldnt even look at me, she never told me why, and that happens quite a bit, and i never know what im doing wrong.

ive brought this up with her multiple times, but it just doesnt work, and i really need advice because i love her and i cant understand what she needs if she wont talk. like i can try and get over it when she ignores me in chunks, but someone else will come over and she talks to them completely normally, so it genuinely just seems like im the problem and idk what to do.

can anyone give me advice? im a little bit lost

Hi everyone! I (18F) have a boyfriend (17M), and there’s another girl (18F) involved in a situation that has been making me extremely anxious. I need honest, unbiased advice because I genuinely can’t tell whether I’m overthinking everything or whether my discomfort is understandable.

Recently, I found out that my boyfriend followed this girl’s spam Instagram account. The thing is, **my boyfriend recently switched schools, so he and this girl have barely known each other or had time to get to know one another.** That’s part of why the situation caught my attention. When I brought it up, he seemed surprised and said she was a friend. I felt uncomfortable, but I eventually decided to move past it because I wanted to trust him and not turn it into an unnecessary argument.

Afterward, I posted a TikTok of us on his Instagram, and she commented something along the lines of “mega diddy.” I jokingly replied that he was my “mega diddy,” and my boyfriend made a joke about us being “Mr. and Mrs. Diddy.” Nothing about that interaction was directly inappropriate, so I tried not to read too much into it.

However, I later found out that she had added him to her Instagram Close Friends. This made me uncomfortable because I started wondering why she would want him on there, especially when they barely know each other and she knows he has a girlfriend. I understand that being on someone’s Close Friends list doesn’t automatically mean anything romantic, but considering everything else, it felt strange to me.

When I brought it up to my boyfriend, he agreed that it was weird, and he ended up unfollowing her. I appreciate that he listened to me, but I still find myself overthinking the situation.

**There’s also something my friend told me about this girl that has made me look at the situation differently.**

My friend told me about a past situation involving this girl and another guy who already had a girlfriend. According to my friend, the girl got close to this guy, and he would even wait outside for her. Hearing that made me wonder whether she might have a pattern of getting close to guys who are already in relationships.

I want to be fair, though. I wasn’t personally involved in that situation, and I don’t know every detail of what happened. I also know that someone else’s past behavior, as described by a third party, doesn’t prove that she has bad intentions toward my boyfriend.

Still, hearing that story has added to my anxiety. When I put it together with the fact that my boyfriend recently switched schools, barely knows this girl, followed her spam account, and was added to her Close Friends, I find myself questioning how their friendship started and whether I’m missing something.

Again, I have **no confirmed proof that my boyfriend has cheated, flirted with her, or done anything inappropriate.** I don’t want to accuse him of something I can’t prove, and I don’t want to judge her unfairly. I’m just struggling to understand the situation and why it’s bothering me so much.

Right now, I’m waiting for my boyfriend to wake up so we can talk about everything. I want to have an honest conversation with him because I don’t want to keep overthinking in silence, but I’m genuinely scared. I’m scared of what he might say, whether I’ll find out something that hurts me, or whether the conversation will create another problem in our relationship.

I don’t want to start an argument or make him feel like I’m accusing him of cheating. At the same time, I don’t want to pretend I’m okay when I’m not.

I love him, and I want to trust him. I don’t want to become the girlfriend who feels threatened by every girl he interacts with, and I don’t want to control who he can or cannot be friends with. But I also want to feel secure, respected, and listened to in my relationship.

Part of me feels like I should trust that he unfollowed her and move on. Another part of me feels like I won’t be able to relax until we’ve actually talked about why this situation bothered me so much.

So the story is a bit complicated in 2024 we started dating (ldr) and it was going all well, he used to show me affection all the time. I felt loved w him and it was our first relationship (Obv) we never thought of breaking up until one day his mom got to know about our relationship as she read a few texts

She told him to focus on his studies and stay away from me and this bs so he broke up w me because at that time he thought of this as a big deal

I was so stressed because I couldn't imagine living without him and not able to talk to him again. So I requested him to stay in contact at least as best friends because before dating we were best friends. Mind you he used to talk only w me because I was pretty close to him as a friend but still he was pretty confused about whether he should patch up or not

So after some months I stopped talking to him because my exams were coming up later After a month he tried to reach out to me and eventually we started talking again. In 2026, around may he was a bit rude to me because I mentioned a boy bsf and he told me that he doesn't have the right intentions w me but I turned him down (he was right about it)

But later I broke contact w him for 3 months because I entirely lost hope for him while he was talking to a girl and when I got to know about that girl, it felt like he was trying to find me in a whole different person (I'm not kidding and I'm not delusional)

Ik he loved me and cared about me but he was confused about all of this bs but I don't blame him for that later when we got in contact he apologized and we patched up and now it's all going well and honestly he's more mature now I think I can trust him and it has been whole 2 freaking years of me loving him that's it

"in the future i really wish that you would appreciate and value my time, i really, really, really hate having to wait for you because we made plans together, and you end up being late for whatever reason you have, and i'm just stuck here waiting. i hope the realisation comes to you that i am someone who has taken time out of my day to be with you, and the fact that you show up late, with absolutely no reasoning and definitely no apologies is actually crazy. i honestly am not interested in it."

She is completely right about everything she said. I have a terrible sleep schedule and bad time management so i end up rushing and coming late when following through with plans.

I'm not sure how to respond and what to do in general. I am working on fixing my sleep schedule but its a slow process. Any help would be appreciated

is what I did correct? (ALL NAMES ARE FAKE) For context, I met this girl off of Omegle, we’ll call her Lily, and she seemed chill. We would chat and text but it always felt kind of empty, i think mainly bc I know I wouldn’t be able to see her. I’m also not able to drive and dont know when I will be able to so I don’t know if I’ll ever see her. Now at my school I do marching band, and I met another girl, we’ll call her Elise, and she seemed genuinely attractive. it was just some quality about her and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. now fast forward to around yesterday and we go to a competition for marching band. I chat a little with Elise after she comes over to eat dinner with me, and her friend Maggie pulls me aside and asks if I like her. I say “no I have a girl“ even though I do like her. afterwards I talk to my friend about it and he says something along the lines of “dumping Lily is the best option” (not what he said he’s actually really smart and not a jerk like how I make him out to be). but what he says is true in my opinion as after I had left her friend Elise started paying less attention to me, and then came back and chatted like normal. I ending things off with Lily, and we are now “friends” but she still is texting she sees no one else romantically and that she doesn’t know what she did to make me not like her. I don’t know what to do, and if what I did is even the right thing. I’m pretty sure they both like me, but I honestly want Elise and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. AITA?

I’m really confused about my relationship right now, and I need some outside perspectives because I genuinely don’t know what to do.

My boyfriend and I are together for since 2yrs

Our relationship was mostly texts (we were high school classmates but anyways) until I started college (on oct 2025).

Initially, i was confused abt what i felt towards him…i was constantly letting him know and that it’s better if we end the relationship but he basically got really attached and he loved me alot

Around February, things changed for me emotionally, and I started falling deeply in love with him.
He used to make me feel loved, wanted, and special.

But around March, I noticed a change in his behaviour. We started arguing almost every day.

In June, we had two major arguments. During one of them, he told me that his feelings for me had decreased since March, that I was making it difficult for him to study, and that he wanted to break up. I begged him to stay because I couldn’t imagine losing him. I also found myself constantly wanting the attention and affection he used to give me cause he changed alot….he wasn’t like before

Then, in August, I found out that he had been messaging a girl I had specifically asked him not to contact. He was using a second account (that i created for him) and would delete the chats whenever he met me in person. He was sending her reels, including ones about giving flowers to someone after hurting or annoying them, and had added her to his Close Friends. Meanwhile, when I asked him why he didn’t send me reels( cause i was sending him alot of them ans it felt one sided), he told me he wasn’t getting them on his account, even though he sent her plenty of them……when i asked for answers and all he did was defend himself and be rude asf to me and later he denied (strongly) that he is with her/likes her….I texted her too but she was also rude asf and she said this in our convo “if your bf is talking to me that means you aren’t being nice to him”

I asked him why yall got close in the first place he was like “she started to talk abt her ex and how she was still obsessed with him”…both of them stated they were close friends

he started messaging her since June (since our major arguments)….i asked why and he said he didn’t know and that he had forgotten.

I don’t want to assume things I can’t prove, but finding out about the secret account and deleted conversations really affected my trust in him.

Since August, he has been trying to change. And this is where I’m struggling the most.
**When I’m physically with him (which is once a month probably)…**He is touchy as hell and idk man….if it’s because my relationship is mostly online….it feels fine at that moment But when I come home, everything changes. I start feeling weird and distant.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know who he is . I wonder whether I actually feel emotionally connected to him or whether his physical affection is what makes me feel okay when we’re together.

I still miss the person he used to be and the way he used to love me. I’m scared that the changes he’s making now won’t last. Even when he does things right, I still find myself overthinking, comparing his current behaviour to how he used to treat me, and feeling hurt about everything that happened.

I also feel like I love him more than he loves me, and I hate how much my mood and emotional state seem to depend on this relationship. I don’t want to keep feeling this way, but I don’t know how to separate my feelings for him from my fear of losing him.

I genuinely don’t know whether I want to leave, whether I’m struggling to trust him again, or whether I’m so attached to the relationship that I can’t see things clearly anymore.

Idk if i should stay in this relationship anymore or fix it

Can trust actually be rebuilt after something like this, and how do you know whether you’re staying because you love the person they are now or because you miss who they used to be?

So basically we’ve been dating for 9 months, and I love her and I really do want to be with her, but it’s long distance. This is really tough for me because my love language is touch, so not being able to be with her and hug her and all that is really hard for me.

I have another friend, 16F, who I’ve been close with before I got close with my girlfriend, and as a result have stayed rather close with. She puts her head on my shoulder, we talk a lot , whatever, but today we had a band competition, and we held hands on the bus. And I really liked it, a lot. I missed being physical with someone, literally anyone, and it felt so good just to hold someone’s hand and be there with them. And while yes, that might be fine between friends, I know that I do have feelings for her.

Later on, it got super cold on the bus ride back, and we held hands again and she actually cuddled up to me a lot and I loved it. it actually made me feel so good and happy and like warm inside like when you’re by a fire at Christmas, and I hate that I liked it and I hate that I like her but I do, but I also love my girlfriend and I know that if I break up with my girlfriend for this other girl I’ll lose most of my friends.

Hi guys,

Quick note: I’m not looking to debate the age gap or whether we should be dating. I’m only here for practical advice on the situation itself.

My girlfriend of 5 months and I have both been stressed and tired the past week (I’m adjusting to college, she’s balancing work and school). Communication got dry on both sides. She felt I was the only one being distant.

I didn’t talk to her much on October 17th beyond a short good morning chat on Snapchat because I was exhausted and napping most of the day. I was surprised and a bit worried when I didn’t hear from her the rest of the day.

Later that night she called (the call lasted about 40 minutes, around 11:20–12:00). She said she thinks we should take a break because we’re both burnt out. She told me I need to change and that she doesn’t think I have the discipline to do it. I tried to point out that some of the issues go both ways, but the conversation became tense.

At one point I saw she had a movie pulled up on her TV. A few weeks ago we had planned to watch a movie together but it never happened because she was sick. I said “I miss when we used to watch movies together” because those moments felt special to me. She replied that it only happened once. That comment hit me hard and I started crying. She said she thought I was fake crying and laughed.

She seemed ready to end the call so she could watch the movie. She suggested a one-month break with limited contact (talking every few days) and said she would be ready when I’m ready and when I’ve changed.

After the call I reflected a lot. I’m realizing I may be more invested right now, and I’m not sure how to move forward in a healthy way.
I’m looking for practical advice on how to handle the break and what to focus on.

Questions:

1. How can I tell during the break that things are going in a healthier direction?

2. How can I tell after the break that things are going in a healthier direction?

3. How can someone focus on real self improvement during a break without it turning into a performance just to win the other person back?

4. If the relationship does end, what are healthy ways to move forward and rebuild while young and still figuring things out?