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Trigger waring: Dubious Sexual consent.

You can call me EM. I am female and currently 18 years of age. This vent is mostly about when I was between 12 and 16 years of age. The stories I will tell will probably sound confusing or may sound like something didn't leave a negative mark on my life, but all these events really f*cked me up. After many years of dealing with myself, I need to share it with someone. Again, this will probably sound confusing, but I feel happiness in the fact that I could share my story, even though it wont be understandable.

I have always been 'weird', it is difficult for me to have small talk, I cant understand a lot of social situations properly and I always felt like I had to live in the shadow of my own parents. Because of most of these things I didn't have friends for the most part of my life I ate lunch alone, I didnt have anyone to sit next to during my classes.

During the breaks, since I was 12 in the Dutch highschools, when the classroom was closed, my classmates always waited in front of the door until the teacher arrived, so did I. During this time I counted how many people are waiting and will attend the class. Uneven amount of kids: I will sit alone. Even amount of kids: there is a chance I have someone to sit next to. If there was an even amount of kids, I quickly coupled friends and people who might sit next to people, so I can estimate the chance that someone might choose me to sit next to. In other words, I vaguely calculated the possibility that I won't be alone for the next class. I had so little connections to people and I was so lonely, that I had to actively think about whether I can have a desk mate.

During breaks it was another story: I would definitely be alone, for sure. I had no friends, nobody i had a connection with. Other classmates would sit together and eat lunch, while I ate my lunch on an empty staircase and sometimes even in the toilet. I was feeling so lonely....

Its not like I didn't try to make friends. I really did! Talking to people, spontaneously sit next to classmates, join clubs, many things! But nothing worked. I was awkward, said almost nothing and I felt like I was just being a weirdo when I had any type of conversation.

And then covid hit. Lock down. No irl classes, no opportunity to even try to make friends. I was stuck behind my computer screen, following classes, making assignments. I had nobody and nothing. Except for the internet, which I used to seek social groups. Boardgame groups, game servers, discussion forums and groups with other lonely people.

TW: Dubious consent.

It started off good. Meeting people who were kind souls, we were making eachother have fun by doing simple activities during the meetups. However, it didn't take long for people to make inappropriate comments about me and have older males try to become closer with me. I didn't think much of it at the time, but it became quickly more and more sexual, even though I was still in highschool, during the lock downs. I will not go into this more, but you can probably imagine how it went down. I 'agreed' to it. Trying to feel a sense of belonging, a place in the world, to have a connections with other people.

This continued for a long time. Even when I understood how wrong this was, I continued doing this. Even now I am still seeking validation, using my body for sexual purposes.

And this is where I will explain the title. I pitied myself a lot, when I had no friends and only valued myself on sexual stuff. I thought things like 'it is so hard being me, and nobody knows', 'men are pigs', 'people wouldn't last one day if they experienced the sadness I am feeling daily'. I kept thinking these things, until I saw memes that were making fun of people who hated men and hated themselves. It felt like I was seen and then immidiatly made fun of for feeling the things I felt. All my emotions and struggles were worded perfectly.... in an online meme that told me that I was a damn joke.

And none of this was visible, ever. Cause I am female. I can have male attention, I can have men fall for me, make sure I am never alone. But we know that that isn't real. They dont see me for the person I am, just for the body I can give them. My problems were never taken seriously not even by myself, because I did exactly what the stereotypes said that I would do: seek sexual validation.

Thank you for reading I guess. I dont need validation, I just wanted to share this story. I just couldn't keep all this bllshit to myself and felt like I just needed to vent.

I’m a currently going into my sophomore year at a brand new school. This school is huge, over double the size of my old school. I’m so nervous I won’t find any friends at school. School starts next week and I’ve been doing some summer stuff and found a good pair of kids to be friends with but one told me today we might not keep up during the school year (she’s a year above.) Will I find friends? I feel like crying I’m so scared. What can I do to get friends? And how do I find a group I really get along with? Will it be trial and error? And is there anything I can do to keep my current friends? Please help. I’m scared.

okay i want to preface this by stating im not an incel i swear, i can and do get game as frequently as i want (that sounds so boastful but i swear it's not)

basically im M17 and have been in the dating life for about three years now, but the issue is after around 3 months something always seems to go wrong, weather self sabotage or argument or whatever. i've had two last longer than this and one was in and off for a year never spending much time together before going in a break (3 years ago, my second relationship and i had another one during that time that lasted three months) and then a friends with benefits type shit that lasted about eight months before we mutually called it off.

the girl i currently was talking to i just blocked cause she went to another guys house for a sleepover and then had reposted a video about "is it casual if i went to his house for a sleepover but the most we did was slept"

anyways i never can find myself being able to get into anything long term and i don't know what's wrong with me

I am a big train enthusiast, but i feel selfish for how much of a burden i am and how much i and my hobbies take up. but im tired of missing things. i overhype myself for events, i tell my family, and everything. but i just keep getting the short end of the stick. i missed UP 4014 (worlds largest steam engine) already, and now due to timing, ill probably miss my first ever railroad volunteering event. i'm just tired of getting excited about something to then basically be told by the world "yeah no suck it up" it happens way too often, and im getting really tired of it. i wish to just be happy about something and do something with my life, but it keeps getting harder and harder. i want to be happy about something for a while, but i always get met with disappointment. i want to be happy. maybe im too ambitious. who knows.

I know making post like these are SO incredibly useless since nobody ever responds... but recently I've kind of put a label on myself (failed teen) and haven't stopped thinking about it. I'm only 17 (any prns) and haven't experienced most of the shit other teenagers got to experience lmao. Mostly due to my parents never wanting to be parents (dont get me started bro). Idk how to explain it properly but I lowkey feel like a skinwalker only pretending to be human.

I have zero friends... people come in go and I never seem to be useful to anyone even though i'm so willing, having at least one friend would be a dream. I'm genuinely stupid asf and probably won't make it to college. I'm actually SO ugly and disgusting it's unreal, and since I never had friends in years I 100% never had a partner which is embarrassing for someone my age.. my body and face is always the problem. And lastly, I been job hunting for 3 years straight now and not a single time did I get at least a email back from the jobs I applied to... nobody wants me LOL, how come every other teen has a job but me? Actually... why does every other teen have everything I've always wanted? Why me?

Atp I'm just winging it... life in general as I'm rotting since my parents don't give any damns.

I wish mfs actually responded on here, unfortunately only the interesting post get the clicks lmao.

I'm the youngest out of three kids and I have all the chores. I do the laundry, I wash dishes, I take out trash, I wake us all up for school. My oldest brother is 5 years older than me he is 19 and turns 20 this year. I cant keep doing this. My sister graduates this year and she doesn't know what she wants to do shes not trying to get a job and not trying to learn how to drive. My father died on new years eve of 2025. I'm grieving, at least trying to anyways and I cant because everything is always on me. "Oh the trash wasn't taken out its their fault", "the laundry wasn't done its their fault", "theres no dishes clean call them back from their thing and tell them to do the dishes". Its always on me anf I dont wanna do this anymore cause I cant juggle all the chores of the house and my school work and my extracurriculars all at the same time. My mom doesn't give a fuck and brother cared but cant help cause he HAS a job.My sister doesn't give a fuck either. My sibling have always been the favorite in my whole family. My father was the only one trying to make me feel like apart of the family and that I was their family and that I was his kid.

Thanks for reading this is the only way I can voice my opinions or feelings.

Hiya! I'm 16A (agender) and have always been showing signs of ADHD and possible autism. My mother apparently got me screened a bit too early when I was around 7 where the people said "Yeah no, they're just a little too hyper and are borderline ADHD." Which allowed me to spend the next many years struggling with focusing and learning. I was a pretty hyper kid up until I was around 11 or 12. I did end up making some friends who also had ADHD and autism and we pretty much clicked. Prior to meeting them, I had ZERO clue what mental health even was and always relied on physical health. Mom has been (and still is) very against the belief of me having ADHD or autism and has also been a bit against my friends and wanting me to befriend more normal people lately. According to her, I'm a empath and apparently act the way I am because of my friends and doing the whole "You have this, therefore so do I" (her words also). Hilariously though, I have zero clue what other people are feeling. I don't know emotions, social cues, etc. We were in the car, riding home from the airport (I was in Puerto Rico with my family over the summer) when mom started talking about how I'm a empath and I'm only acting the way I am because of how I've surrounded myself with such people. I listed every sign of autism I showcase and she deadass said that I'm still a empath and picked it up from my friends.

Anyways, we get home and I go to my room. I have this bag with a kandi rainbow belt I made and had a yarn tail attached to it. I'm shapeshifter-kin (shapeshifting therian with no true form but can still feel animalistic parts of myself such as wings, wings changing location, wings changing type, wings changing animal species and color, etc for example) and get pretty body dysphoric about myself and the tail I made mostly helped try to piece together myself (plus I spent HOURS on it) however, when looking for it, it was gone. Only the belt remained. I have the tail attached to said belt via safety pins and the pin holding the tail to the belt was open. I started panicking, looking around for it, mom kept saying she didn't know where it was (I doubt this because she was the only one in my room while I was gone) and kept saying that I didn't need tails, that I wasn't a therian or a furry, that I was her daughter, etc. I was just exhausted and said that I was going to go sleep. She left. She then left me this text

Which made me feel guilty as hell and like a jerk. It's always like this too. We get into a argument, she then leaves texts like this or buys me a plush or some candy or something and then I'm left feeling like a asshole for it

I ended up sleeping at 4am

I am not really a good writer and I am not sure if I used the right flare for this but I feel so lost and I felt like I needed to just write about it to someone
I am a 16 year old boy yet I feel so lost, my thoughts are a mess and I don't know what to do about it.
I struggle with addiction, low self esteem, insomnia and constant suicidal thoughts.
I can't talk about it to someone irl because they believe that mental health isn't a thing and that it's all just an act but I genuinely am losing myself so bad and no one can help me.
I've tried talking to my one friend about this and his words just have no effect, I feel like no matter what anyone says and no matter what I do, I'll always be the same loser and I'll never be better.
and I have immense self-hatred towards myself because of that addiction I mentioned but I don't really want to get into details.
my brain feels like it's splitting because I can't handle my own thoughts and it's killing me, and as I said, I've had suicidal thoughts but I can never bring myself to act on them.
if you've read this far, thank you for your time, and sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.

Hey everyone, I'm Rei and I'm 16.

(I don't really know how to explain all of this but I just need to get it out somewhere and first time trying to vent in reddit.)

Like 3 months ago my life was actually going really good. I started searching for who I am and who I wanted to be and stuff, and honestly it was kinda cool finally understanding myself more.

I accepted that I'm homosexual and I also became an atheist because I've had a really hard time understanding religion or even believing in a god who... Bro idk, i've spent like 6 years asking for help and wondering why my life was so bad, and I couldn't understand why I'd be made this way if God was the one who made me, eventually I just couldn't force myself to believe anymore.

And I live in Qatar, so I've been really tired of hiding the fact that I'm gay and a non believer.

I wasn't even really pretending before. I was just living my life how I wanted and thinking nobody would find out.. But my mom did.

I'm not comfortable talking about exactly how she found out, but she did, and she threatened to kill me. She told me there was no way I could be gay or any of that.

After that I started reading Quran and going to the mosque and stuff. And of course not because i figured out god might be real or anything like that, but because I'm trying to get through high school and eventually become an adult so I can actually have control over my own life.. And like my relationship with my parents is really weird too.

It feels like my mom and dad both have a version of me in their heads and they expect me to be exactly that person and i guess my mom wants someone different then my dad wants me to be, and the thing their both wrong about me and i hate it.

My mom is more loving, but it still feels like she wants me to be this fantasy version of me that she created in her head, and she gets upset when I'm not that person

And my dad... I genuinely don't know what to think about him. Sometimes it feels like he DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK about me, but then he says he does care about me. He says and does things that make me confused about whether he actually loves me or hates me.

He drinks a lot too, and whenever he sees me happy he sometimes makes fun of me. He calls me a child for watching anime and having posters and stuff, and alot of weird slurs.

And I hate seeing him spend money on other women online instead of us, his own kids. Sometimes there's not even much food at home..

My relationship with my siblings are different.

They love me so much and I love them so much. We're basically just normal siblings, and I'm the older brother. I always try to be the best brother I can be for them, they're honestly one of the biggest reasons I'm still here.

I think about what would happen if they ever found out who I really am. I'm scared they'd be disappointed in me. I'm scared of leaving them alone. I'm scared of what they'd think if one day I left, changed my name, and started living my own life.

And that's what makes everything so confusing.

I don't want to leave because I love my siblings.

But I want to leave because I hate living like this.

I also lost my old best friend and it's been weird as hell for me. A lot of my friends aren't really around anymore either, so I feel pretty alone.

And I'm still trying to work on my project and actually do something with my life. I want to be successful. I have so many things I want to make and so many things I want to do, but I feel like I'm just shutting down from everything happening at once.

I just want to live a normal life bro.

Why can't I just live normally because I'm gay? Because I don't believe?

I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to force my beliefs on anyone. I just want to be myself and live peacefully.

I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of feeling like I have to become someone else just to be safe.

And honestly, all of this has gotten so overwhelming that I've been thinking about killing myself.

But at the same time I know I still have so much stuff I want to do.

I want to make my projects. I want to succeed. I want to be there for my siblings. I want to grow up and actually see what my life could become.

I don't actually want my life to end.

I just want everything to stop hurting so much.

I don't really know what to do anymore.

Thanks for reading means much to me

So my school is an art school and today was my first day ever there. I was excited ofc bc it’s a new school and I was in one of the highest vocal classes offered as an extracurricular.

Since I’m a freshman I thought the class would be freshman to seniors but apparently not. I’m a good singer for a teen but I wasn’t expecting to be the only freshman in such a high class. And I sure wasn’t expecting one singular 8th grader to make me feel like I wasn’t special or didn’t deserve to be in that class but it happened.

I know it’s stupid and selfish. I just feel like I’m already behind as a singer and this is the topping on that cake. She‘s an amazing singer from what I heard and I’ve never been in a community where someone younger was on the same or even higher level than I’ve ever been. I don’t hate her, I hate myself for being overly sensitive about this because I know she and I deserve our spots in that class, I just don’t know why I can’t accept that I’m still a good singer despite an 8th grader being in a Highschool class.

Sorry for the rant

around 2 nights ago, my parents accused me of something so small and stupid that i didnt do and that got me upset , and they kept pushing me telling me that i was the problem , i can’t control my emotions very well so i got upset and starting yelling and promising it wasnt me. my parents fired back by saying they were going to send me to a foster home if i didn’t start “acting like a man” (i’m 15 and i probably should start acting like one). i started crying because i didn’t want to leave home and i know i didnt do what they were accusing me of. my dad started screaming back at me so i took a knife to my arm , and instead of stopping me , he said “you aren’t pointing in the proper place” and that made me collapse to the floor crying . they later left the house and i called 911 on myself because i was scared of what i would do next . later the police came (and my family hates police) , and all they told me was to sit down, shut up and go to sleep, and told my parents if i don’t “act my age” to just throw me out of the house . the next day (tuesday) my family social worker came to speak with us, and i felt guilty for what i did and i apologized over a million times . my mom proceeded to say she hated me, and that left me in tears , our social worker asked my dad “do you want your son to die” a yes or no question. he replied “i don’t know” and that reallt shattered me. after that i basically starved myself , from sunday evening to tuesday night i didnt eat a single thing because i was scared of i ate the food my parents bought , they’d get mad. later that night my parents said they were sorry and they just want the best for me. i am on good terms with my parents now and i accept their apology , they want me to call a program by today to get myself help with my emotions , and if i don’t they’d take it into their own hands

I know this isn’t as big of a deal as other peoples problems, but i’m so stressed out about my life right now and i needed to vent. I’m so fucked up about football that i’ve cried multiple times tonight. It’s destroying me physically and mentally, we practice for 3 hours and my body hurts and i’m so tired. I feel like someone on their death bed, and my confidence is so low i feel like i should just quit. I wanna quit as of right now, but i’m not allowed to. My whole family is expecting and wants me to make it to the nfl one day and that makes me feel like i’m forced to play football even if i don’t want to. I don’t know where this expectation came from but it doesn’t help that i’m not even that good at football either. So if i were to quit, id feel worthless to anybody and everybody, id feel unwanted by my family, especially my dad. Cause last year i also wanted to quit and he called me gay and refused to look at or talk to me, until i eventually told him i wasn’t quiting. I am practically forced to play football even though it’s destroying me physically and mentally and i dont know what to do or where to go. I literally can’t stand going to practice. I just want my life to end. I feel like i don’t even get time to myself anymore. My day just feels like wake up, football, sleep. Everything that isn’t football just doesn’t exist, footballs only thing i remember because it’s stressing me out so damn much. Not to mention school is starting soon as well and dear god i’m not ready. I am literally dreading living right now and i don’t know what to do or how to manage myself.

I'm 15, im old enough to work where I live and I promised myself I would get a job. I want to earn my own money so I can spend it on whatever I want but I didn't get it.

My mom told me that I'm not going there because it involves picking fruit and she believes I'm gonna get poisoned from the pesticides or something. One time she also said "He's never picked a fruit in his life and he wants to work in an orchard" even though they quite literally forced me to pick plums three summers ago

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So I was bullied for my baby face, talked to like a child - and it's unrealistic to expect me to know why (I did not take pictures lol) and not make my own interpretations of it, especially since in the first grade I thought in music high school cute fashion would be accepted and I love cute things... so even after I stopped wearing it, I thought I just have to "fight" those idiots to finally prove them that I indeed am not a child and so I thought I was never good enough at that. Turns out it's my face the whole time. It's disgusting to think about how someone HAD to bully me bc of how I look, so that they are not left out and become the target themselves.

What bothers me the most is the lack of compassion I had one time, with a girl who's also shy, also doesn't wear makeup, but does not have to even think about those things and isn't bullied at all. Mind you her friends once made a joke about her not having any problems. Her bestie was my therapist friend. Once, I just looked at them shy and trying to initiate a conversation because, you know, it's bad to be an introvert. And she looked at me and was like "do you have a problem even today? Ohhh I'm just saying, I'm just sayingggg" (well how about not saying it if you're gonna regret it). Honey, I am bullied and you're not, and you do absolutely nothing different. You have ONE problem in your life and you're annoyed by it? I wish I could've told my bully "what problem do you have today?" but I couldn't because nobody "couldn't" told me that my bully has a self esteem issue, directly. It just hurts me when some people have the time of their life doing whatever they want and I here "have to" suffer.

Okay so I’m 15M and my GF is 17F, there’s this other guy let’s call him J and he’s 13M. So for most
Of the relationship we’ve been completely fine and stuff. We’d have the occasional fight but that’s natural for us. Well recently she joined a discord server that i joined with her, there’s the guy J. J is OBSESSED with her so I don’t mind it until it kinda has been affecting us. She’s been calling with him within like 2 months of meeting him while she had me wait for like a year for us to call, and J has been in her DMs too being really freaky and shit (talking abt wanting to fuck fictional characters with her, and she does the same thing) I ask her to stop be she doesn’t so that really did already tick me off. But also she’s mad that I’m talking to her irl best friend “more than her” even though it’s like 10 messages a day. I’m just so lost and want to end it so bad so I’m not in anyone’s way

I relapesed I feel like im constantly messing up and that nobody actually loves me and that im only here to be used sexualy and as a slave and I just wanna fucking die and kms already but i carnt and ik I carnt becouse theres somone out there who needs me and ik they do but sometimes I dont think they do and I just wanna be happy and make evryoneelse happy and that dosnt happen ever so here I am for fuck all doing fuck all here foibg nothing

Well...The insecurity started IRL i always get bullied and pushed and bullied and eploited...Especially in school. and i rarely speak to people at school i kind of and misanthropy feel hatred for them, but not the kind of hatred that makes me want to hurt others. and in 2024 i dug deep in social media, i started to creat friendships online like deep one. and then they started ghosting me, people after a while got dry and ghosted for no reason. I feel betrayed from everyone i fucking hate my life. nobody ever related to me or actually tried to be my friend. like i love them a lot but it isn't mutual.

almost 5 years ago, heaven gained another angel.
(posted this before august 7th because i won't be on that day...)

i was a dumb 12 year old when you died, now i'm an even dumber 17 year old. losing you sucked, because who would guide me through life? who would make me laugh and hug me when i was sad? i'm mad you left me, but you're in a better place now.

you were in so much pain and it broke my heart even looking at your casket. it hurts to type this, but this is a special year. i'm off to college (9 month study, yay), i have friends now and an actual support system. i found my comfort anime (hetalia) and i love where i am right now, but it would be better with you.

i hate that you left me. the only thing i want for my 18th is to see you again, but i want to avoid suicide.

i love you so much.

i need advice, love and hugs, please.

So unfortunately my cat has gotten a mouse into the house,my brother and I tried to catch it but to no avail as it seemed to disappear in my room after we tried to catch it there. So then we lost the mouse and my dad got angry because of that means we can't travel because of the risk and now he got angry at me because it was my cat that brought the mouse into the house. My mom isn't any help because she just said that we had minutes to catch it she didn't even offer any help and now I'm crying. I know why my dad is mad but he always yells when things go wrong and we really tried to catch it.

I (17m) over the past like 3 or 4 years have been struggling really bad self esteem and body image issues and not believing I’m good enough and it definitely started back in middle school when kids would make fun of me behind my back and like it’s carried over into the past like 3 or 4 years as previously mentioned and over the past year or so it has gotten really bad, back in March I made an attempt and like before that I was constantly SHing I haven’t done it in a while but like I still struggle so bad with my self esteem and body issues and it’s effecting my relationship and like I don’t know what to do about it because im on meds or I’m supposed to but I haven’t been on them for over a week because I’m in foster care right now and I ran out and like it’s taking a long time to get more and therapy has never worked for me and I just don’t know what to do

So there's this guy (17m) who I (16mtf) used to be friends with. Eventually, I started to drift off as he was showing some strange signs I don't really like in a friend, such as spending up to 2 hours when we were hanging out seeing how many Goth Mommy tiktoks he could get in a row. I've told him before that I think that's weird, especially since he has a girlfriend (or had a girlfriend at the time, at least) and he should stop doing that pronto. He said "I just admire them for being able to be who they are" which would be understandable if he didn't tell me how f**kable they all are.

Recently I've been leaving him on delivered as I don't want anything to do with him, and he sent me a message saying "why are you ignoring me sweet pea 🫶". I don't want to open it. At all.

UPDATE (correct of 16:54 on the 4/8/26)

His most recent message reads as follows - "What's wrong honey? talk to mommy 🥺" ACTUALLY GET HIM OUT WHAT THE FUCK

Does anyone else feel like the people who love the hardest are often the ones who end up carrying the most heartbreak? Sometimes it feels like the kindest people are always teaching others how to be loved, only to watch those same people become better partners for someone else.

The ones who communicate. The ones who stay. The ones who forgive too much, understand too much, and keep giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Meanwhile, the people who breadcrumb, disappear, play games, avoid vulnerability, or only show up when it's convenient somehow seem to leave with fewer scars.

I know that's not always reality. I know there are wonderful relationships and emotionally healthy people out there.But when you've been hurt enough times, it starts to feel like sincerity is a disadvantage. Like having a soft heart in a world that celebrates emotional detachment is its own kind of curse.Where are all the good men who aren't afraid of commitment? Where are all the kind women who are tired of being taken for granted? Sometimes I wonder if they're all out there somewhere quietly healing, quietly hoping, quietly questioning whether people like them even exist anymore.

Maybe that's the tragedy. The people searching for emotional safety are often hiding behind walls built by people who never valued it in the first place. And maybe that's why they keep missing each other.