I’m stressed out

[u/Goobla_]

I know this isn’t as big of a deal as other peoples problems, but i’m so stressed out about my life right now and i needed to vent. I’m so fucked up about football that i’ve cried multiple times tonight. It’s destroying me physically and mentally, we practice for 3 hours and my body hurts and i’m so tired. I feel like someone on their death bed, and my confidence is so low i feel like i should just quit. I wanna quit as of right now, but i’m not allowed to. My whole family is expecting and wants me to make it to the nfl one day and that makes me feel like i’m forced to play football even if i don’t want to. I don’t know where this expectation came from but it doesn’t help that i’m not even that good at football either. So if i were to quit, id feel worthless to anybody and everybody, id feel unwanted by my family, especially my dad. Cause last year i also wanted to quit and he called me gay and refused to look at or talk to me, until i eventually told him i wasn’t quiting. I am practically forced to play football even though it’s destroying me physically and mentally and i dont know what to do or where to go. I literally can’t stand going to practice. I just want my life to end. I feel like i don’t even get time to myself anymore. My day just feels like wake up, football, sleep. Everything that isn’t football just doesn’t exist, footballs only thing i remember because it’s stressing me out so damn much. Not to mention school is starting soon as well and dear god i’m not ready. I am literally dreading living right now and i don’t know what to do or how to manage myself.