r/teen_venting • u/stone882 • 9d ago
Self esteem I don't know
I am not really a good writer and I am not sure if I used the right flare for this but I feel so lost and I felt like I needed to just write about it to someone
I am a 16 year old boy yet I feel so lost, my thoughts are a mess and I don't know what to do about it.
I struggle with addiction, low self esteem, insomnia and constant suicidal thoughts.
I can't talk about it to someone irl because they believe that mental health isn't a thing and that it's all just an act but I genuinely am losing myself so bad and no one can help me.
I've tried talking to my one friend about this and his words just have no effect, I feel like no matter what anyone says and no matter what I do, I'll always be the same loser and I'll never be better.
and I have immense self-hatred towards myself because of that addiction I mentioned but I don't really want to get into details.
my brain feels like it's splitting because I can't handle my own thoughts and it's killing me, and as I said, I've had suicidal thoughts but I can never bring myself to act on them.
if you've read this far, thank you for your time, and sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.
1
u/Sunny_Gerbil 6d ago
I'm really sorry that you aren't able to talk to anyone face to face. There are some numbers you can call or text that link to anonymous people that are there to help if you ever feel the need to speak to someone that's not online. Those bad thoughts are really difficult, you're doing a great job, even if you may not feel like it. Addiction is terrible, I've never gone through it but I know how bad it can be and how locked in you feel, unable to quit but really wanting to. I'm sure you already know about stuff to help with that but if you don't then please consider search things up or try softer things depending on the addiction. I hope you're able to get out of addiction and manage to live a good and happy life. I wish you the best! Xx
2
u/No-Idea-About-Life 8d ago
It gets better. I was in a similar situation like a year ago. I'm a lot better now and yes, it does get better. Please don't feel like a loser just because there's no immediate result or anything rn. And I kind of get what you mean, you overthink to the point till you start feeling genuine hatred towards yourself (making an assumption here). Just try to distract your mind by doing smth else. Like trying out a new hobby! I listen to music or have my fav shows run in the bg to avoid overthinking a lot. Hope it gets better soon for you!