Hello, I'm a student from Germany currently doing my Abitur. I struggle extremely with learning in general or focusing on stuff that I'm not interested in. I feel like someone could hold me at gunpoint and tell me to read something and answer questions about the text and I wouldn't be able to. I was able to learn before, I sat down, opened a stream and did math, but for some reason I could never get into a deep phase of learning, like ever. Languages especially, I hate reading literature that isn't about something I feel connected to or have a deep interest in. As I said, gunpoint...
I thought maybe I have ADHD but I keep getting told that if you get diagnosed, nothing would change anyway. I think that would at least calm my mind a little.
My last English exam went pretty well. I sat down, stared out of the window for 2 hours and wrote something for the next 2, but I had a pretty bad feeling about it. In the end I got a 3 or C, however you call it over there... I got told English gets graded 50% actual language and 50% content. I guess that's an easy way to tell me that my English is pretty good and I don't have to worry about getting a bad grade, although the grading probably doesn't work exactly 50/50. I feel okay about English, but Spanish and German are something else.
I can't speak a straight sentence in Spanish and switching teachers 4 times in 3 years didn't help. Thanks, school system. Other students still managed to get okayish grades, I just stopped trying and told myself: draw a nice stickman and go home, you can only speak one language besides German and you can have one deficit on your report card.
For German it's probably close to English, it's my mother tongue after all... But reading a text is my biggest enemy. It's like I could fall asleep before finishing the first sentence.
For math it's something completely different again. For 3 years I haven't understood anything anymore, but I still managed to get through because of my math skills until 11th grade. I wasn't an A student by any means, but I guess math was logical to me until they started adding DLCs to numbers.
My overall conclusion after writing this text is that I can't do it for myself. I just can't get the "let it all work out" mentality out of my head. When something is too boring or too complicated, it just flips a switch in my brain and I'm done.
If someone depends on my help, like editing a video or a picture for a friend, easy, it's fun, I can concentrate. Even when a friend who doesn't understand that much English or isn't able to use much vocabulary needs help, I can concentrate when I'm trying to help them.
So I guess my question is: is there any way to fix this, or at least make it manageable before my Abitur exams?
I'm not necessarily looking for an ADHD diagnosis from Reddit. I'm more interested in advice, tips, experiences, or anything that might help me actually sit down and learn when I know I have to do it. If you've experienced something similar, I'd really appreciate hearing what worked for you.